English Language essay submission and marking

[teletubbies_95]

Hey!
Thanks so much for those really detailed comments!
Yeh...I felt I that last 2 paras , I wasn't confident enough talking about it, because I wasn't sure if I was doing it right. And just listing examples, as you said. It was actually the first time I was doing a paragraph on those topics . So bad
AND OMG MY SPELLING. as you can see is atrocious , even worse when I'm typing.

THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH !!!! ) I really appreciate it!

[lzxnl]

Don't worry about it; I've had horrible first essays too, and it often takes me several hours to write them, with the net result that I fail to form much of a coherent argument in my essay because I don't know what is going on

You have some idea of how this topic works now; sit down, think about it, and I'm sure you'll make sense of it (:

[barydos]

...

...

Thanks so much for the feedback both of you! I really appreciate it.
I'll try and put these into good use and maybe post up another essay in the near future haha

[thushan]

Australian English (AE) is a major variety of the English language used in contemporary Australian society, and as a result it has an important role in representing the country on the global stage. Consequently, there has been scrutiny directed toward what AE has become and it has been suggested that AE is losing its identity due to some of the changes it has undergone. On the contrary, AE is merely evolving to fit into a society that is becoming increasingly global, while still retaining Australian values embodied in the language. There has been a distinct shift toward General AE, an increasing influence of American culture, and an influx of first generation Australians along with their respective ethnolects. Despite these changes, the values ingrained in the Australian identity have certainly not been lost.

There is a clear trend where Australians are moving toward a more General AE in an effort to become more intelligible in an increasingly globalised world. Is this the purpose of shifting towards GAE? Conversely, there has been an decline in the Broad and Cultivated varieties of AE. Speakers of the Broad AE accent are known for a usage of slang such as “strewth”, “crikey”, “stone the crow” and “dinky-di” You need to make it clear what you are talking about when you refer to Broad; are you talking about it in terms of a language variety, or the accent? This is quite a tenuous issue, and you need to navigate it thoroughly and clearly. These non-standard lexemes are expressions which convey surprise or shock while the latter translates to ‘speaking the truth’ Unclear. Which refers to telling the truth?. However, to a non-Australian these may sound nonsensical. Because globalisation is becoming more and more significant in contemporary society, the language of choice needs to accommodate a larger audience, and as such, a move away from Broad AE aids this purpose Potentially, by effect. But is this really the reason why there's a shift away from BAE?. While non-standard lexis such as this does depict culture well, that does not mean that the decline of this often unintelligible (is it unintelligible? or is it just not so easily understood by individuals who are not familiar with the variety) Broad variety indicates a loss of identity. In fact, these vernacular expressions are instead being replaced by alternative, more contemporary phrases such as “no worries”, “take it easy” and “fair enough”, which not only convey Australia’s egalitarian and friendly nature, but is also easier to understand. On the opposite end of the spectrum sits the Cultivated AE, which has slowly diminished as ties with the British Empire waned in the past century. This dissociation portrays a stronger sense of national identity independent of the British influence, and so the overall shift toward the General middle ground variety of AE has refined the identity of Australia.



The influence of American culture is becoming more apparent and it is contended by some that the process of ‘Americanisation’ is diluting the identity of AE. While AE has certainly adopted some American terms and phrases, these are all selectively accepted as more appropriate and effective options to any out-dated (outdated? sounds a little pejorative) phrases of Australian English. This fussy nature of choosing evidences that Australians remain aware and proud of the colourful expressions of Australian English, but are self-conscious about the image they want to convey to the rest of the world (is this conscious?. Some lexical items adopted into the AE lexicon include ‘dude’, ‘gotten’ and ‘wicked’, yet these additions do not necessarily indicate a step-down of the Australian identity. In fact, as they become more and more popular in society, these terms often culminate into something with an Australian twist (please use formal register). Australian bodybuilder and Internet celebrity, Aziz “Zyzz” Shavershian, popularised ‘brah’, an Australianised construction of the lexeme, ‘bro’. This diphthong sound, /oʊ/, in the latter is reduced to the weaker monophthong, /a/. Good! This phonological reduction reflects the informal and casual nature of the Australian identity. Its prevalence in the vocabulary of the youth is so great, that it has been seen as a contemporary replacement of the typically Australian lexeme, ‘mate’. Despite having a different appearance, this substitute carries the same underlying semantics as ‘mate’, and that is mateship (formal register please), a core ingredient in the Australian national identity. New words and phrases will always be implemented to express the views of Australia and so there is no reason to believe that AE of today is losing its identity.

The inflow of ethnolects in contemporary Australian society is another concern for prescriptivists who believe AE is losing its identity. However, the use of non-standard lexemes in these ethnolects actually reflects the cultural diversity that is valued by Australians. Good. As the migrant population has increased substantially in the past decade, it has become more common for first generation Australians to speak in their respective ethno-cultural variety of English. Among many of the youth of Samoan background, there is the popular use of “sole” (“sɒ-lɛ”) which is the Samoan equivalent of ‘mate’. Arab teenagers are often seen using the phrase ‘Wallah’, which translates to ‘swear to God’ or literally “promise by God”. The semantic field of ‘food’ also offers some lexical items such as ‘enchilada’ (Mexican), ‘laksa’ (Malaysian) and ‘ramen’ (Japanese). These borrowings have become a norm in AE today, and one might argue that it is therefore losing its identity due to the influence of foreign lexemes slipping into the lexicon. On the contrary, one of the qualities Australians bear is the willingness to accept other cultures. According to the Department of Immigration, “Australia’s multicultural policy embraces our shared values and cultural traditions.” The song “We are Australian” is a perfect portrayal of this sentiment. The line “We are one, but we are many” refers to Australia being made up of various different cultures united as one. Even with borrowings and influences from other cultures, AE has not lost its identity. This diverse society only highlights Australia’s shift to a more global-centric community.

AE will continually grow and develop in different ways to accommodate for the constantly-changing society. Despite evolving to appear as if old Australian traditions have been lost, the values of the Australian identity including egalitarianism, friendliness, informality, mateship and multiculturalism remain perpetuated through contemporary lexemes, typically Australian phonetic reductions and borrowing. Even by adapting and bending, Susan Butler notes that “the end result is still a unique Australian blend”. In other words, in spite of the changes it has undergone, to assert that AE is currently losing its identity could not be further from the truth.


Decently solid. However, I feel that your arguments don't seem to be particularly clear in some areas. BP1 needs work; I don't think you have convinced me of your point. You've explained how GAE can be more understandable, but you haven't proven that that is the reason people shifted towards GAE. More likely the reason for this is because of the developing notion of egalitarianism and the Australian tall poppy syndrome, where talking in a Cultivated accent as ones day to day register is not only unnecessary, but can be looked down upon. The trend towards GAE could be attributed to the shift of people towards urban cities, for instance as more kids from rural backgrounds enter university.

BP2 and BP3 are pretty solid, although again you assume that these changes are conscious. People just start to use American expressions because of influence from American television shows, and people subsequently copy their peers in a subconscious effort to belong in their peer group. It's not to do with being self conscious about how they want to appear to the rest of the world.

Good use of IPA, examiners love that.

Overall, quite decent. 11/15.

[barydos]

...

Thank you very much for the detailed feedback, thushan.
I'll try to work on these issues!

[lzxnl]

       
"'Your use of language sends out lots of little messages, not just about your level of education and where you come from, but about how you would like to be perceived"

(note: I did this essay topic...it was quite a bit of fun )

Our language is the means through which we communicate with one another. However, above and beyond this communicational function, language shapes the way we are perceived. Through idiosyncrasies in the way that we use language you really need a comma here aspects such as educational level, geographic location, socio-economic status and the groups to which we belong may be inferred. Therefore in order to create particular identities, people vary their language at different times and in different contexts to portray characteristics they see as desirable or perhaps appropriate for the occasion?. This is evidenced through the broad to general continuum of Australian accents correlation with education, status and Australian qualities this clause doesn't seem to be grammatically correct, the increased use of ethnolect’s examiners HATE incorrect usage of apostrophes; not needed here in establishing a unique identity and the informal, ephemeral slang and jargon employed by our younger generations. OK, so your contention is? Introductions generally need that one sentence at the end saying the point of their essay
     One of the most striking features of an individual’s speech is their accent. Many Australians, particularly from regional areas are clearly identifiable by striking synonym for striking? phonological features such as drawn out vowels, long single vowels /a:/  IPA (: and the use of diphthongs in place of monophthongs; resulting in words like “mate” sounding like “mite” . Perhaps give individual examples of these features These Broad Australian features comma needed here associated with low education and socio-economic status and here are employed as they portray salient Australian values such as informality and anti-intellectualism this seems like an undesirable trait to be perceived as...perhaps equality and fairness? The implication of anti-intellectualism is a disregard for intellect in general, where your discussion of low status accents merely refers to the desire for everyone to be on the same footing; tall poppy syndrome. No longer is a cultivated accent depicting high education and wealth desirable, with linguists suggesting that people deliberately choose low status accents in order to invoke covert prestige. This was evidenced in John Howard’s success throughout his terms as Prime Minster in using a Broad Australian accent was it really broad? Sounded quite general to me to portray a down-to-earth identity, but interestingly however not reflected in Julia Gillard’s terms as Prime Minister with her Australian accent harshly criticised, ironically, I have seen criticisms of Julia Gillard's acent being too broad at times; be careful with the veracity of your examples suggesting care-free anti-intellectual qualities are not seen as acceptable coming from a female. As well as this I don't really like this phrase; use 'also'? a person will modify the severity of their accent according to the extent to which they wish to assert their identity. For example a person who speaks with a General Australian accent may use some broad features when conversing with Australians with this accent to signpost Australian identity in an attempt to fit in. As seen people are able to portray an identity highlighting low-education, anti-intellectualism and egalitarianism through phonological features of their speech. Last sentence sort of weak. Bring in a stronger example as well; you haven't really explained much. Mention an explicit study or something that shows this, instead of just stating it
      In a similar way, the accent and lexis of multicultural Australia shows how language may be used to convey identity. As immigrants integrate into society and adopt English as a language, most look for ways in which they can accentuate their origins, with many of them doing this through language. One such example is the Italian/Greek/Lebanese communities accent/variety described as “wog-speak”. My teacher doesn't particularly like this phrase; just saying Characterised by pronunciations resulting in words such as “measure” rhyming with the word “bar” IPA here would be quite useful and borrowings from original language for instance “habib” “uleh” and repeated use of lexemes such as “brah” comma!  this variety clearly signposts the geographical origins of the speakers who use it creating group identity? Might be useful to mention. This ethnolect is seen in TV shows such as “Fat Pizza” and is particularly prevalent among youth, with evidence of spread even beyond people with a European background. Indeed through language variations Identity is demonstrated and maintained. so...who in Fat Pizza uses this ethnolect? Is it everyone? If so, mention. As for your "evidence of spread", some proof would be helpful
     One of the most prominent linguistic talking points of contemporary Australia is the slang and jargon characterising the speech of younger generations. Influenced by technology and social media, the lexis of young Australian’s serve to identify its speakers and at the same time exclude speakers who do not use “correct” or “current” terminology I think "Standard English" is the term you're looking for here. Examples of this jargon and slang is seen in the Australian TV series Summer Heights High you are making the assumption that this TV series is an accurate representation of reality, when it's meant to just be a satire. Be slightly mindful of this where Chris Lilley effectively captures the language of a teenage boy using phrases such as “homo” “ranga” “shit” “motherfucker” and a teenage girl using expressions such as “oh my god” “povo” “random” “like” be very careful...jargon is NOT slang. Jargon is a technical variety of language that often fulfills an irreplaceable gap in the language, like for instance a lot of scientific jargon which has no ordinary equivalent. It is also generally (and I say generally, not always) formal. Slang is an informal language variety that is often group-specific, like jargon; changes quickly; is non-Standard and often is non-Standard for the sake of being non-Standard. In this way, it creates covert prestige and group identity. The two are not to be confused and I would suggest writing on these separately. The transient nature of this slang however, has even seen some of these terms become obsolete may be stronger to give linguistic examples of old slang, like "ace", "blood" or "rad" that have largely died out and it is for this very reason that the variety acts as such a successful group marker perhaps finish sentence here; sentence is becoming unwieldy and lacks cohesion as older people who try to pick up the lingo are caught using old phrases and come across as daggy this is a formal essay! or lame they are also seen to be trying too hard and the effort appears strained too. As such comma through slang and jargon comma our younger generations have a functioning system through which they are able to portray an identity as a young person.
     The language we use is a main ingredient of the image which we project into the world around us. As seen through phonological and lexical features of our speech we are able to portray, our level of education, geographical origins and qualities we feel are most important and through the slang and jargon we use the generation to which we belong. Your conclusion feels slightly incomplete; add another sentence? Also the last sentence doesn't quite make sense grammatically


Overall, you have some good ideas, but I feel you need more linguistic examples to better support your work. These examples are the basis for your arguments; without them, how do we know that language really works the way you say it does? Also, be careful of the commas. They are necessary at times for the reader to navigate their way through your essay. Your confusion of jargon and slang would really hurt you in the end of year exam, so be careful of that. Just a few of my tips (:
 

[sasa]

I've done this one!! I actually enjoyed it more than what I probably should have 

[eddybaha]

He guys, could i get some feedback on this essay. Be as negative as possible, i really want to improve on my writing. Also if any of you have any contemporary examples for this topic, that would be very helpful. Thanks.

Spoiler

Language is a powerful and emotive communicative tool which can be manipulated to benefit the use and deceive its audience.
Language is unarguably the most powerful communicative tool at our disposal. People use language rhetorically and emotively to elicit a response from the audience. Because of this, language can be conducive to its user. It can be manipulated in many ways as seen in doublespeak, euphemisms, political language and PC language in order to deceive the audience. This gives users of language great power with the ability to use language manipulatively to deceive an audience to benefit themselves. This is seen in politics where politicians and public figures will often use doublespeak, euphemisms and political language to obfuscate the truth and make certain things sound better than they are.  Language is obviously a very powerful tool which can be used to benefit the user.
Euphemisms are replete in modern society especially in the semantic field of warfare with the function of obfuscating the truth. The topic of war causes a furor in society and so euphemisms such as “collateral damage” and “friendly fire” are put in place to soften the impact of the true meanings behind these phrases. The designing of the atomic bomb was referred to as “The Manhattan project” and the two atomic bombs used on Japan were named “Big boy” and “Little Boy”. These euphemisms in no way reflect the devastating outcomes of the impact that they had on Japan. Though American citizens after hearing these terms seemed less concerned and more ignorant towards what was going on. This shows how language can be used to obfuscate and make things sound better than they are as supported by George Orwell’s statement “Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable”
Language can also be manipulated to change the views or persuade an audience to benefit the user. The Australian army will often refer to itself as a “defense force” but refer to the Iraqi army as a “military”. Although the two arms are the same in nature, built for the sole purpose of killing, the positive connotations of the lexical item “defense force” give the Australian army the positive qualities of sacrifice, honor, loyalty and protection. While on the other hand, the Iraqi army is seen as being ruthless and merciless. Often language used to influence thought thrives on the presence of connotative meanings of lexemes. Missile strikes may be referred to as “surgical strikes” as surgery has the positive connotations of fixing, repairing and making something better.  Using language emotively is another technique incorporated by speakers for their own benefit. Advertisements will largely use emotive language to convince an audience to buy their product. Online dating sites will often advertise themselves as “the pathway to finding your soul mate”. They will often use phrases such as “find the one for you” to appeal to the emotions of the audience eliciting an emotional response from them, thus persuading them to use their site. Evidently, language can be used to change the perceptions and behavior of an audience and thus benefit the user.
Sophisticated language and formal language such as jargon and complex sentence constructions are also used in the public domain to conceal the truth. Nominalisations and passive sentences are often prevalent in political language. A sentence such as “A pre-emptive strike was designed to ensure the safety of citizens” is passively constructed to purposely conceal the agent (the military). In doing so, users of language have the ability to deflect responsibility for wrong doings. Sophisticated language such as jargon also is used to obfuscate and conceal the truth. Politicians are often masters at using highly elevated language to confuse their audience in the hope to divert attention from anything that may bring harm to themselves or their political party. This can be seen in media conferences with former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd where he bamboozled the audience with uses of long complex sentences with successive subordinating clauses, nominalizations and jargon. A classic example of Kevin Rudd using overly sophisticated language is his infamous “detailed programmatic specificity” when answering a question on climate change. As seen, language has the power to confuse audiences and hence hide the truth and deflect responsibility.
Obviously language is a powerful tool which can be used to influence the way in which people perceive things. It can also be used to conceal the truth and deflect responsibility for a person’s wrong doings. Language can be used emotively to elicit an emotional response from audiences to benefit the user as well as manipulatively, thriving off positive connotations of lexemes. It can be seen that language is unparalleled in its ability to manipulate an audience and hence benefit the user.

[lzxnl]

Language is a powerful and emotive communicative tool which can be manipulated to benefit the use and deceive its audience.

Language is unarguably the most powerful communicative tool at our disposal erm...it's pretty much the only tool we have...opening sentence a bit bland?. People use language rhetorically and emotively to elicit a response from the audience. Because of this, language can be conducive to its user the phrasing is slightly awkward here. It can be manipulated in many ways as seen in doublespeak, euphemisms, political language and PC language in order to deceive the audience. This gives users of language great power with the ability to use language manipulatively to deceive an audience to benefit themselves you've repeated your previous sentence. This is seen in politics where politicians and public figures will often use doublespeak, euphemisms and political language politicians will use political language...that's a tautology... to obfuscate the truth and make certain things sound better than they are.  Language is obviously a very powerful tool which can be used to benefit the user. there are two parts to the topic: emotive, and manipulate. You haven't addressed the first part yet
Euphemisms are replete in modern society especially in the semantic field of warfare with the function of obfuscating the truth why do they need to obfuscate the truth? Might be better to put it here. The topic of war causes a furor in society and so euphemisms such as “collateral damage” and “friendly fire” are put in place to soften the impact of the true meanings behind these phrases note; these examples are quite old. They should not form your main examples. The designing of the atomic bomb was referred to as “The Manhattan project” and the two atomic bombs used on Japan were named “Big boy” and “Little Boy” these were from how long ago?. These euphemisms in no way reflect the devastating outcomes of the impact that they had on Japan. Though American citizens after hearing these terms seemed less concerned and more ignorant towards what was going on where is the main clause?. This shows how language can be used to obfuscate and make things sound better than they are as supported by George Orwell’s statement “Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable” generally, in a paragraph you'd want to make more than one point. You've made one point only. Be more specific in the effects euphemisms have on the language. Also, you haven't stated the main point of military language. It's so that the military can continue with their current actions while hiding its brutal reality
Language can also be manipulated to change the views or persuade an audience to benefit the user. The Australian army will often refer to itself as a “defense force” but refer to the Iraqi army as a “military”. Although the two arms are the same in nature, built for the sole purpose of killing, the positive connotations of the lexical item “defense force” give the Australian army the positive qualities of sacrifice, honor, loyalty and protection see, being specific is always stronger . While on the other hand, the Iraqi army is seen as being ruthless and merciless ok, so what? What does this dichotomy do?. Often language used to influence thought thrives on the presence of connotative meanings of lexemes. Missile strikes may be referred to as “surgical strikes” as surgery has the positive connotations of fixing, repairing and making something better you've missed the point; surgical actually connotes precision. Also, elaborate on your point.  Using language emotively is another technique incorporated by speakers for their own benefit. Advertisements will largely use emotive language to convince an audience to buy their product. Online dating sites will often advertise themselves as “the pathway to finding your soul mate”. They will often use phrases such as “find the one for you” to appeal to the emotions of the audience eliciting an emotional response from them, thus persuading them to use their site metalanguage! Point out where exactly the emotive qualities lie. For instance, the usage of the definite article "the" in suggesting this is the only pathway. Evidently, language can be used to change the perceptions and behavior of an audience and thus benefit the user. you've repeated your topic sentence effectively; rephrase somewhere?
Sophisticated language and formal language no need to repeat "language"; sophisticated and formal language?such as jargon and complex sentence constructions are also used in the public domain to conceal the truth. Nominalisations and passive sentences are often prevalent in political language. A sentence such as “A pre-emptive strike was designed to ensure the safety of citizens” is passively constructed to purposely conceal the agent (the military). In doing so, users of language have the ability to deflect responsibility for wrong doings. Sophisticated language such as jargon also is used to obfuscate and conceal the truth. Politicians are often masters at using highly elevated language to confuse their audience in the hope to divert attention from anything that may bring harm to themselves or their political party it also makes themselves look more professional. This can be seen in media conferences with former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd where he bamboozled the audience with uses of long complex sentences with successive subordinating clauses, nominalizations and jargon. A classic example of Kevin Rudd using overly sophisticated language is his infamous “detailed programmatic specificity” where are his bamboozling successive subordinating clauses, nominalisations and jargon? when answering a question on climate change what exactly does this language achieve?. As seen, language has the power to confuse audiences and hence hide the truth and deflect responsibility.
Obviously language is a powerful tool which can be used to influence the way in which people perceive things. It can also be used to conceal the truth and deflect responsibility for a person’s wrong doings. Language can be used emotively to elicit an emotional response from audiences to benefit the user as well as manipulatively, thriving off positive connotations of lexemes your examples given did not thrive on positive connotations, only one of them did. It can be seen that language is unparalleled in its ability to manipulate an audience and hence benefit the user. quite repetitive


Overall, you have an idea of what you're doing, but there are a few issues.
1. You need more depth. You often state a point without explaining exactly how the language is persuasive or manipulative. For instance, with "surgical strike" and how it actually has connotations of precision (not surgery or being beneficial to health), you could have said that it implies the bombs and missiles do not kill indiscriminately, and then you could contrast that with the reality. There would be a good place to mention "collateral damage" as your paragraph would flow better
2. Examples, as you've realised. Using an example from before our parents were born is not the best way to impress the examiner with your wider reading
3. Metalanguage. It REALLY helps and impresses, and it makes your point clear. You've learnt about how jargon facilitates communication; well here, metalanguage gets your point across faster and wins kudo points in the examiner's book. What's not to love?
4. Phrasing. You get really repetitive at times.


As for more contemporary examples, look up military euphemisms for killing. There will be heaps online.

If I were to give a mark, I would say around 10/15. Clarity, depth, metalanguage and linguist quotes (relying on Orwell isn't enough; it's necessary but insufficient here) are all important parts of English Language essays

[eddybaha]

Hey thanks for the feedback that helped a lot.  :)Could you have a look at this essay too? Again, criticize freely. 

Spoiler

Should we fear language change or embrace it?
In modern Australia, language change is inevitable. There are many perception and opinions on language change. Prescriptivists often believe that it may lead to a declining of language and even a loss of identity with the recent bombardment of Americanisms. However descriptivists view language change as a necessary means for Australia as a nation to join the rest of the world politically and economically. They believe that a changing of language is not "wrong" and there is not prescribed guideline of what language "should be"
There has been noticeably increasing amounts of Americanisms flowing into the Australian society and vocabulary. This is due to the dominance of American pop culture and media. Many prescriptivists see this influx of Americanisms as a loss of our own national identity. Words straight from the white house eg. "homeland security" are used in the Australian parliament. "Teenspeak" is also evidently becoming more and more American in its linguistic nature as teens are now replacing the Australian "g'day" and "mate" with American "whatsup" and "dude". Although this lexical borrowing does not necessarily represent a loss of identity but rather a changing perception of how we typically see ourselves on the world stage. After all, change is ongoing and is not just occurring in this period of time but since the start of English itself. The English language has ten thousand "borrowed" French words mostly in the semantic field of food. Of course, Australia as a nation has become much less parochial joining the world politically and economically, and so understandably our language has changed to reflect this evolution. We no longer use archaic idioms such as "Drier than a dead dingo's donger" or "face like a half sucked mango"unless we are being deliberately "retro" and incorporate more Americanisms in our speech. Although despite the vast amount of Americanisms entering our borders, Australians still tend to put their own "spin" on these lexemes, be it through accent, pronunciation and even semantics.
The advancement of technological communication has also strongly impacted our language. With this new advancement we are now able to communicate with anyone across the globe quickly and efficiently. Though through this advancement the lines between written and spoken modes have been blurred in the medium of E-communication such as Emails, instant messaging, SMS etc. The major cause of this is the expectations of a quick reply and because of this new expectation, grammar has become less important. Text messages are replete with shortenings "y" and "sup" which are derived from the words "why" and "whatsup" allowing for more efficient communication without hindering the intelligibility of the text. Acronyms are also prevalent in instant messages such as "ROFL" and the most recent "YOLO". This is mainly due to the word limit in text messages as well as making it quicker to communicate. Rebuses such as "m8" and "b4" also play a similar function. In the eyes of a prescriptivist, these are all errors and mistakes and a declining of the English Language. However Linguist David Crystal believes that texting has improved our English contrary to popular belief. This idea is based on the fact that we must understand the rules in order to break them. Everyday when we break the rules in text messaging, we are doing so purposefully and not accidentally and so are in fact reinforcing our knowledge of grammar rather than deteriorating it. He argues that "any reading and writing is good for literacy". Descriptivists also argue that the main function of language is for communication and because these shortcuts in our language do not hinder out ability to communicate and even aid in it, there is no problem with it. As David Crystal states "The vast majority of spelling rules in English are irrelevant. They don't stop you from understanding the word in question". Evidently, language is changing, but also adapting to our social needs and expectations.
The PC language movement has also dramatically affected the way in which people choose to use language in modern society. The values of our society at a particular point in time dictate the way in which our lexicon is chosen. Nowadays political correctness dictates we stray from any discriminatory language, be it racism, sexism, age-ism or discriminating against the disabled. This is seen in our sensitivity of the adjectives "black", "fat",  and "retarded". We now prefer to use the more mild "African American", "voluptuous", "mentally disadvantaged". In a day and age where "blackboard" and "whiteboard" are being replaced with "marker-board" these adjustments in language are necessary to keep up society's values.
Obviously, our society is changing, and so language must change in order to meet our needs. We have new expectations of fast replies which our technological advancements provide to us. The PC language movement has also changed the lexemes we choose. Language changes pertaining to our social needs and values and should not be feared as it is necessary so that our communication can keep up with our fast paced lives. ;

[teletubbies_95]

Hey thanks for the feedback that helped a lot.  :)Could you have a look at this essay too? Again, criticize freely. 

Spoiler

Should we fear language change or embrace it?
In modern Australia, language change is inevitable. There are many perception and opinions on language change. It sounds like you haven't linked the first sentence (ie. you say language change , then talk about perceptionsPrescriptivists often believe that it may lead to a declining of language and even a loss of identity with the recent bombardment of Americanisms. However descriptivists view language change as a necessary means for Australia as a nation to join the rest of the world politically and economically. They believe that a changing of language is not "wrong" and there is not prescribed guideline of what language "should be"
There has been noticeably increasing amounts of Americanisms flowing into the Australian society and vocabulary. This is due to the dominance of American pop culture and media. Many prescriptivists see this influx of Americanisms as a loss of our own national identity. Words straight from the white house eg. "homeland security" are used in the Australian parliament.I feel you need more discussion here "Teenspeak" is also evidently becoming more and more American in its linguistic nature as teens are now replacing the Australian "g'day" and "mate" with American "whatsup" and "dude". need more contemporary examplesAlthough this lexical borrowing does not necessarily represent a loss of identity but rather a changing perception of how we typically see ourselves on the world stage. After all, change is ongoing and is not just occurring in this period of time but since the start of English itself. The English language has ten thousand "borrowed" French words mostly in the semantic field of food. Of course, Australia as a nation has become much less parochial joining the world politically and economically, and so understandably our language has changed to reflect this evolution. We no longer usesome older Australia's may still use these idioms ? archaic idioms such as "Drier than a dead dingo's donger" or "face like a half sucked mango"unless we are being deliberately "retro" and incorporate more Americanisms in our speech. Although despite the vast amount of Americanisms entering our borders, Australians still tend to put their own "spin" on these lexemes, be it through accent, pronunciation and even semantics.But in the topic sentence and throughout the para you talk about Americanisms engulfing the language of Australians

The advancement of technological communication has also strongly impacted our language. With this new advancement we are now able to communicate with anyone across the globe quickly and efficiently. Though through this advancement the lines between written and spoken modes have been blurred in the medium of E-communication such as Emails, instant messaging, SMS etc.DONT USE ETC! The major cause of this is the expectations of a quick reply and because of this new expectation, grammar has become less important. Text messages are replete with shortenings "y" and "sup" which are derived from the words "why" and "whatsup" allowing for more efficient communication without hindering the intelligibility of the text. Acronyms are also prevalent in instant messages such as "ROFL" and the most recent "". This is mainly due to the word limit in text messages as well as making it quicker to communicate. Rebuses such as "m8" and "b4" also play a similar function. In the eyes of a prescriptivist, these are all errors and mistakes and a declining of the English Language. However Linguist David Crystal believes that texting has improved our English contrary to popular belief. This idea is based on the fact that we must understand the rules in order to break them. Everyday when we break the rules in text messaging, we are doing so purposefully and not accidentally and so are in fact reinforcing our knowledge of grammar rather than deteriorating it. He argues that "any reading and writing is good for literacy". Descriptivists also argue that the main function of language is for communication and because these shortcuts in our language do not hinder out ability to communicate and even aid in it, there is no problem with it. As David Crystal states "The vast majority of spelling rules in English are irrelevant. They don't stop you from understanding the word in question". Evidently, language is changing, but also adapting to our social needs and expectations. Some points are good , but you could improve expression

The PC language movement has also dramatically affected the way in which people choose to use language in modern society. The values of our society at a particular point in time dictate the way in which our lexicon is chosen. Nowadays political correctness dictates we stray from any discriminatory language, be it racism, sexism, age-ism or discriminating against the disabled. This is seen in our sensitivity of the adjectives "black", "fat",  and "retarded". We now prefer to use the more mild "African American", "voluptuous", "mentally disadvantaged". In a day and age where "blackboard" and "whiteboard" are being replaced with "marker-board" these adjustments in language are necessary to keep up society's values. I think this para needs a lot more depth and contemporary Australian examples ( ie. Adam Goodes "ape " scandal)

Obviously, our society is changing, and so language must change in order to meet our needs.Haven't talked about American influence para We have new expectations of fast replies which our technological advancements provide to us. The PC language movement has also changed the lexemes we choose. Language changes pertaining to our social needs and values and should not be feared as it is necessary so that our communication can keep up with our fast paced lives. ;

Overall, you've got good ideas! But you need to expand!
Sorry , this was a bit rushed! Hope this helps and if you want me to clarify , ill be happy to do so!

[eddybaha]

thanks for the feedback, highly appreciated. yeah i think i need to find more contemporary examples? know anywhere where i could find them, or maybe provide some of your own?

[lzxnl]

Should we fear language change or embrace it?
In modern Australia, language change is inevitable. There are many perception and opinions on language change. Prescriptivists often believe that it may lead to a declining of language and even a loss of identity with the recent bombardment of Americanisms. However descriptivists view language change as a necessary means for Australia as a nation to join the rest of the world politically and economically. They believe that a changing of language is not "wrong" and there is not prescribed guideline of what language "should be"  contention is?
There has been noticeably increasing amounts of Americanisms flowing into the Australian society and vocabulary. This is due to the dominance of American pop culture and media. Many prescriptivists not just prescriptivists; bear this in mind see this influx of Americanisms as a loss of our own national identity. Words straight from the white house eg. "homeland security" are used in the Australian parliament explain how this dilutes our identity. "Teenspeak" is also evidently becoming more and more American in its linguistic nature as teens are now replacing the Australian "g'day" and "mate" is this really teenspeak? with American "whatsup" and "dude". Although this lexical borrowing does not necessarily represent a loss of identity but rather a changing perception of how we typically see ourselves on the world stage again, incomplete sentence; you also need to address the Australian connotations of g'day and mate that are not in the replacements. After all, change is ongoing and is not just occurring in this period of time but since the start of English itself. The English language has ten thousand "borrowed" French words mostly in the semantic field of food so what? Explain the significance. Of course, Australia as a nation has become much less parochial joining the world politically and economically, and so understandably our language has changed to reflect this evolution paragraph is getting unclear. We no longer use archaic idioms such as "Drier than a dead dingo's donger" or "face like a half sucked mango"unless we are being deliberately "retro" and incorporate more Americanisms in our speech unclear phrasing. Although despite the vast amount of Americanisms entering our borders, Australians still tend to put their own "spin" on these lexemes, be it through accent, pronunciation and even semantics.  try to retain some formality in your essays. Also, I failed to see the main message of this paragraph. I don't even know if you're addressed the topic
The advancement of technological communication has also strongly impacted our language. With this new advancement we are now able to communicate with anyone across the globe quickly and efficiently. Though through this advancement the lines between written and spoken modes have been blurred in the medium of E-communication such as Emails, instant messaging, SMS etc though and although are subordinating conjunctions; you always seem to forget this. The major cause of this is the expectations expectation? of a quick reply I think it's more to mirror the spontaneity of speech and because of this new expectation, grammar has become less important. Text messages are replete with shortenings "y" and "sup" which are derived from the words "why" and "whatsup" allowing for more efficient communication without hindering the intelligibility of the text. Acronyms are also prevalent in instant messages such as "ROFL" and the most recent "inserts something here". This is mainly due to the word limit in text messages as well as making it quicker to communicate. Rebuses such as "m8" and "b4" also play a similar function. In the eyes of a prescriptivist, these are all errors and mistakes and a declining of the English Language. However Linguist capital not needed David Crystal believes that texting has improved our Englis comma neededh contrary to popular belief. This idea is based on the fact that we must understand the rules in order to break them. Everyday when we break the rules in text messaging, we are doing so purposefully and not accidentally you cannot necessarily be so sure of this; be careful of your phrasing and so are in fact reinforcing our knowledge of grammar rather than deteriorating it. He argues that "any reading and writing is good for literacy". link to topic? Your argument is still quite unclear Descriptivists also argue that the main function of language is for communication and because these shortcuts in our language do not hinder out spelling ability to communicate and even aid in it, there is no problem with it. As David Crystal states "The vast majority of spelling rules in English are irrelevant. They don't stop you from understanding the word in question". Evidently, language is changing, but is also adapting to our social needs and expectations.
The PC language movement has also dramatically affected the way in which people choose to use language in modern society. The values of our society at a particular point in time dictate the way in which our lexicon is chosen. Nowadays political correctness dictates we stray from any discriminatory language, be it racism, sexism, age-ism or discriminating against the disabled. This is seen in our sensitivity of the adjectives "black", "fat",  and "retarded". We now prefer to use the more mild "African American", "voluptuous", "mentally disadvantaged". In a day and age where "blackboard" and "whiteboard" are being replaced with "marker-board" these adjustments in language are necessary to keep up society's values. use metalanguage. Paragraph is a bit short. Explain PC in depth; your paragraph is too shallow
Obviously, our society is changing, and so language must change in order to meet our needs. We have new expectations of fast replies which our technological advancements provide to us. The PC language movement has also changed the lexemes we choose. Language changes pertaining to our social needs and values and should not be feared as it is necessary so that our communication can keep up with our fast paced lives.


I feel you haven't developed much of an argument here. Firstly, your contention isn't clear from the outset. Secondly, you don't seem to phrase things clearly. I often have serious difficulty following your arguments. Remember, your essay is not just written for yourself; others need to understand it too. Thirdly, sometimes you don't go deep enough into your points. That is something you might want to look at.



As for examples, you just have to go online and search for them. They're a real pain to find, I know.

[eddybaha]

Thanks again for the extensive feedback. Here's another one i wrote up recently. However i find it hard incorporating contemporary examples in this topic. Any suggestions? feedback would be nice too.

Spoiler

Our language choices have a powerful impact on others. How do we construct our language to promote social harmony and build rapport with others?
Communication through language depends on interaction with one another, be it through the spoken or written modes. In interactions of any sort with another, there will often be politeness conventions being used. Politeness is a language to used to make interactions more smooth and harmonious. Politeness also has much to do with the context of our surroundings. Using the right register in certain contexts allow people do identify with their interlocutors. Speakers will also often vary their language according to social circumstances so that the language being used is the most appropriate. Our language choices include what we choose to say in order to respect the face needs of another and what we choose to omit in our speech. Our choice of phrases and words can often promote social harmony with others.

Appropriate language use can often aid in communicating in a harmonious way with others. This means that we must consider the sociolinguistic variables to assess how we choose to use language. Swearing is becoming less taboo in our society with expletives such as "F***" being blurted out frequently by younger generations. However, young people will still tend to omit these swear words in certain contexts such as when an elderly is within an ear shot, or if there is a teacher nearby, thus avoiding any trouble showing how speakers will vary their language according to audience. Speakers will also vary language depending on context. For example, one may speak one way when at a football match and use a different register when in the office at work. In the office we will tend to use more formal and standard language. Most likely, we will use honorifics such as "sir", "ma'am", "Mr" and "Mrs" when addressing superiors. However in a football match, the language we choose to use will become much less formal with frequent use of slang such as "cairn the pies" helping us identify with our interlocutors and consequently helping us build rapport with them. In tight social groups we are more inclined to use the groups sociolect as well as a more relaxed register to build solidarity within the group. This is highlighted in "teenspeak" where slang and the jargon of a group are used to promote group solidarity. The language we choose to use aids in harmonious communication as well as solidarity building with others.

People will often use positive politeness conventions to build rapport with one another. Positive face needs is the desire of a person's skills, goals, ideas and attributes to be desired upon by another. It is also the need to be liked by others. Typical Australian diminutives such as "Nico", "Johno", "Robbo" help make social interactions more comfortable and intimate as well as addressing the positive face needs of the audience. Using these casual forms of address as well as"mate" and "buddy" are essential to help build rapport. Compliments are also forms of positive politeness which help discourse to run smoothly. Often on greeting, one will compliment another to start a conversation or break the ice. This is highlighted in game shows or talk shows and media interviews where the host will introduce the person coming on stage with a "put your hands together for the lovely (person's name)". This allows the person to feel warmly welcomed while setting a friendly tone for the rest of the discourse. It can be seen that our language choices can have a powerful impact on the way other people feel.

People also use negative politeness conventions to help conversations run smoother. Negative politeness conventions address the negative face needs of a person or the want of a person to not be imposed on. Negative politeness conventions include the use of "please" , "thank you", as well as weak modals "could", "may" which make social interactions run smoother. For example, if you were to use the imperative"pass me the salt" without any politeness markers it would sound very demanding and imposing. By adjusting slightly to "could you pass me the salt please? thank you." the imperative now sounds more like an interrogative thus sounding less imposing to your audience. The use of weak modals in such sentences is a form of hedging and is often used when asking a person to do something for you. The term "saving face" is often associated with negative politeness. Some"saving face" methods include hedging eg. "i would come but like i can't". The use of the discourse particle "like" weakens the force of the sentence and thus shows an attempt at being polite. Hedges are often incorporated into the language of politicians in the form of adverbs "possibly" and "basically" as it allows them to not answer a question directly. Speakers will also use language to show authority and to increase social distance between them and the audience. Negative politeness conventions allow a person to establish social hierarchy. This is seen when a student uses the honorific "Sir", "Mr" or "Mrs" when addressing a teacher. This increases the social distance between them and also allows the student to acknowledge that the teacher is his superior thus showing politeness and respect to the teacher. Evidently, our choices of language in the form of negative politeness conventions can have a powerful impact on others.
Our language choices obviously play a big role promoting social harmony and rapport with others. Our choices of register allow us to avoid trouble as well increase solidarity within groups. Our choice of lexemes to respect the face needs of others also promotes social harmony. Our language choices undoubtedly has a powerful impact on our audience.

[Rish_007]

Profanity is an emotive communicative tool which plays a variety of roles in contemporary Australian society. Discuss.

Contemporary Australia profanity has quite varied functions, showing that it is quite a dynamic entity. In certain social groups swearing is encouraged, primarily due to its benefactors of building a 'mateship' among interlocutors. However it is still governed by context and taboo as seen in mediums such as the newspaper, television and interviews. Swearing cam also serve to function as defining one's socioeconomic status and place on the social hierarchy in a certain social group



Swearing in Australia, quite recently, has gained some encouragement in certain groups. This is because it creates friendships, reduces social distance, and more commonly gives insight into an individual's identity. Profanity is thrown around often at social locations such as a bar, or a social event like the footy, or more commonly on on technological mediums like Facebook and Twitter. This not because of a exclamatory function but rather it functions to create solidarity between members of the club Essendon, or a bunch of 'blokes' at the bar. For example the profanity "cunt" is being used in a interesting way, among friends, it is being tagged along in sentences "Steve, you cunt" as a rapport building tactic. Furthermore swearing creates this relaxed atmosphere among participants that further encourages rapport to built. Swear words also increase sense of expression, when it is quite difficult to access adjectives, profanities are perfect to describe something or someone. This seen with the former Prime minister Kevin Rudd "shit storm" or even in advertisements of dangerous driving "don't be a dickhead"- VicRoads. The advertisement also reaches out to "young people on their level" - O' Brien's. Many individuals swear in Australia that it is now become part of their national identity, creating sense of values  for the nation. It was seen in the advertisement that was promoting Australian tourism, where Lara Bingle used "where the bloody hell are ya" showing "bloody" has changed its role in Australian society to the point Australian's embrace it, and code profanity to their "DNA"- Kate Burridge


While there may be positive attitudes towards swearing it still has taboo and context which undermine its role in society, by its negative uses and influences. Mediums such as popular newspaper Herald Sun, The Age still censor profanity from their content even if it fits the context. Commonly also seen with the A current Affair on channel 7 with their 'bleep' sound when a profanity is thrown out. This shows bad language is governed by taboo, the newspapers try to keep up with political correctness and taboo's to maintain the reader's positive face. Remember not all readers believe swearing is good, this is mostly seen with upper class citizens who abide with standards of Australian English. It is also a generalised   aspect as surveys show teenagers/ middle- aged individuals are more likely to throw out a profanity on the basis of solidarity than older people. A reason for this could be older generations still believe in their values and attitudes towards swearing, whilst generation X, Y,Z are more open to new values and dogmas. Furthermore it may be also because older generations are restricted to newspapers and are unable to access sites like Twitter which delivers the public domain in a "taboo free fashion ". Profanity is catching on, however, it still somewhat restricted by taboos and popular news outlets and media even if it fits the context.


Swearing can also function to determine one's socioeconomic status, or where they stand on the social hierarchy as an individual. It can be said hard labor workers like construction workers often use profanities in their workplace, this will occur occasionally. Such behaviors induce the idea that profanity is directly proportional to one's job occupation. Furthermore Aborigines often throw out profanities, and people assume it is due to their lack of education. Additionally a way a student talks outside of school can give an insight into the school the student goes to, if the student swears, people will think he or she is from a bad school. If an individual was to swear at a train station people would assume he or she is of low status, this is dependent on the individual itself but generally speaking this is what occurs. While on the other hand being well spoken and staying updated with political correctness and taboo of Australian society can earn an individual a good reputation among the society. This shows profanity can affect both negatively and positively depending on how it is used. This will determine one's place in the society and socioeconomic status.


Swearing is seen as a dynamic state in Australia. Most people believe it functions to increase friendship or even create them by inducing a relaxed atmosphere. Profanity is catching on even if it is still restricted by media and taboo and it has useful purposes. One of Profanity's purpose is to determine one's socioeconomic status and their place in society.