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Author Topic: [2016 LA Club] Week 4  (Read 6825 times)

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heids

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[2016 LA Club] Week 4
« on: March 16, 2016, 06:57:36 pm »
+4
Getting bored already? (Apparently :()

Sooo.... this one's a little different, and a little meaner :P  Here's bunch of slogans for different stores, and I want you to analyse how they (the slogan rather than the store name) might encourage people to go and buy at that store; what values or desires are they targeting?  The deeper you go, the better.

It's probably easier to do them separately, rather than attempting comparison [not saying that wouldn't be a good plan though muahahahaha].  As these are images, it's up to you whether you just analyse the slogan text, or try to wring something out of the font type/colours/layout - Sears and IGA especially.  The question is, do you want to stretch yourself, or not? ;D

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

Enjoy!  I know there's a bunch of SACs piling on you right now, but trust me; if you take out the time to do this now, you will never regret it. ;)
VCE (2014): HHD, Bio, English, T&T, Methods

Uni (2021-24): Bachelor of Nursing @ Monash Clayton

Work: PCA in residential aged care

Hydraulix

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Re: [2016 LA Club] Week 4
« Reply #1 on: March 19, 2016, 12:29:24 pm »
+1
I'm going to try to be comparative and I'm open to all criticism (I want to get better)

Sears, an American Chain of Department stores, employs a heavy use of blue in its background and writing. As blue produces a calming effect and is a colour of trust, it predisposes the reader to imagine it as an honest and transparent company. By subconsciously swaying the reader it further allows the slogan to be more readily accepted by the reader. The slogan demonstrates that it provides the reader with a "good life at a great price". Saving money is a key aspect of shopping for most readers thus the appeal to their hip-pocket nerve leads the reader to go to Sears first to look for a bargain. It is commonly believed that cheaper products are lower in quality, however Sears dismisses this for their products by "guarantee[ing]" that they provide "the good life". The definitive "guarantee" coloured with the dominating colour of blue, the reader is positioned to trust the lofty claims made in Sears slogan.

IGA takes a different slant in their marketing style by appealing to "the locals" and to small suburbs. The slogan conveys that IGA is a shop loved by the people who live by it, swaying the reader to feel that they are not apart of their community if they do not shop at IGA. As their slogan addresses the locals, it is evident to the reader that IGA values its locals and sells products for the locals. This is designed to depict IGA as a small local business, rather than the large chain of supermarkets that it is. Many Australian consumers want to support Australia's companies to boost Australia's economy and boost local success and would thus want to support a "local" business like IGA. The logo looks handwritten, written by a local person rather than faceless corporate giants. This further accentuates the idea that IGA is run by a group of locals in favour of their locals. The strong appeal to the reader's desire to support their community is the main focus of IGA's slogan and was designed to illustrate IGA as a company that is local, Australian and for the people.

Unlike IGA, but similar to Sears, Shopko focuses on the consumer and of their desires. The slogan is written in first person in order for the reader to feel as if it applies to themselves as they read it. "My life. my style. my store" forces the reader to feel that it is their store and suggests that the store is most people's "life", "style" and "store". It creates a mentality that a Shopko consumer cannot shop at other shops and leaves the reader with a decision to choose one or the other. To those readers that already shop at Shopko and other stores, this intends to force those readers to leave their other stores and become a loyal shopper of a retail store of style. Shopko and Sears similarly employ three short phrases in a bid to make the slogan catchy and stick in the reader's mind. This is emphasised by the alliteration of "g" in Sears and of "m" in Shopko to ensure the reader remembers the slogan that portrays  the company in the way that they wish.


----

I'm just going to leave it there. please help me :0

HopefulLawStudent

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Re: [2016 LA Club] Week 4
« Reply #2 on: March 19, 2016, 01:42:14 pm »
+2
A surfeit of blue is featured in the advertisement for American department store chain, SEARS, in order to make the brand more appealing to the audience of American consumers. This colour which is heavily featured in the advertisement has connotations with tranquillity and peace, insinuating that to buy from their brand would be to find similar quietude in the viewer’s life. This notion is supported by the advertisement’s repetition of the “g” consonant in their motto through the words “good”, “great” and “guaranteed”. Drawing the audience’s attention to these words, the advertisement seeks to convey the idea that to buy from their store would ensure they would have a “good life”. To this end, the advertisement appeals to the audience’s desire to have a “great” life, manoeuvring them to perceive buying from their store would ensure they could have the life they desire. Similarly, the Marshalls advertisement is predominantly blue and features an alliterative slogan. Appealing to the audience’s desire to be regarded as a person to be admired, the campaign frankly affirms those who were “fabulous” would “never pay full price”. To this end, they encourage the notion that to buy from their brand would gain the consumer the admiration and respect of their peers. Employing alliteration and placing an emphasis on their “great price[ s]”, both brands encourage the audience to buy from their stores.

Both IGA and Shopko appeal to their audience’s desire for a personalised shopping experience. The former’s reference to “locals” in their slogan intimates the chain had tailored the experience to the locality as opposed to have a general shared experienced amongst their consumers irrespective of their location. Giving the impression the chain had sought to tailor their stores to the “locals” and to the consumer themselves, IGA seeks to endear themselves to the viewer; their slogan appeals to the viewer’s desire to be regarded as a unique individual as opposed to just another customer. Likewise, retail store chain, Shopko, aspires to give the impression their stores were specifically customised with the audience in mind. Their anaphora of the word “my” enables the audience to regard the brand with some degree of ownership as though store belonged to them and had been designed with their needs in mind. This is supposed to endear the audience to the brand because they are positioned to admire the effort Shopko and similarly, IGA, had purportedly put into in an attempt to proffer them a unique shopping experience.
« Last Edit: March 19, 2016, 01:44:22 pm by HopefulLawStudent »

literally lauren

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Re: [2016 LA Club] Week 4
« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2016, 06:19:03 pm »
+4
Sears, an American Chain of Department stores, employs a heavy use of blue in its background and writing. As blue produces a calming effect and is a colour of trust, it predisposes the reader to imagine it as an honest and transparent company. By subconsciously swaying the reader it further allows the slogan to be more readily accepted by the reader. repetition of 'the reader' here. Also, the sentence structure is a bit messy - see end comments for a full explanation of why this is the case. The slogan demonstrates that it provides the reader with a "good life at a great price". Saving money is a key aspect of shopping for most readers this isn't technically wrong, but it's a bit outside the scope of the task. The only evidence you should need to unpack will be given to you in the material - granted there's usually ~1000 words of written content in the exam + visuals rather than just a single logo :P but nevertheless try and always base your analysis on stuff that's in the language/images, rather than preconceived understandings you have of people and the world thus the appeal to their hip-pocket nerve leads the reader to go to Sears first to look for a bargain instead of commenting on how the readers might physically respond in terms of their actions (eg. they go to shop at Sears) you can instead concentrate on how their mental impression of Sears is shifted by the image (eg. they feel as though Sears would be an affordable and inviting place to do their shopping.) This should help you avoid seeming too definitive, since it can sound a bit odd to the assessor if you say something like 'the logo is blue and appeals to the hip pocket nerve which makes readers go to Sears.' :P. It is commonly believed that cheaper products are lower in quality, see above however Sears dismisses this for their products by "guarantee[ing]" that they provide "the good life". The definitive "guarantee" coloured with the dominating colour of blue, the reader is positioned to trust the lofty claims made in Sears slogan. word missing here? The sentence structure is a little off; see end comments.

IGA takes a different slant in their marketing style by appealing to "the locals" and to small suburbs. The slogan conveys that IGA is a shop loved by the people who live by it, swaying the reader to feel that when describing the effect, make the author your focus (eg. the author elicits a sense of... or the author conveys to readers that...) to prevent this slightly clunky phrasing they are not apart of their community if they do not shop at IGA. As their slogan addresses the locals, it is evident to the reader that IGA values its locals and sells products for the locals. repetition of 'locals' - not a big deal, but could easily be avoided by using pronouns (eg. 'them') or synonyms occasionally This is designed to depict IGA as a small local business, rather than the large chain of supermarkets that it is this is a bit evaluative; you sound like you're critiquing them for being disingenuous and claiming to be 'small' when they aren't. A good rule of thumb: assume the language is persuasive and just tell me how! Don't get wrapped up in whether the language/images are honest or accurate or effective - your job is to explain their meaning and link that meaning to a persuasive function. Many Australian consumers want to support Australia's companies to boost Australia's economy and boost local success and would thus want to support a "local" business like IGA. again, bit too far outside the scope of the task. You don't need to specify a target audience unless one has been given or you feel it's especially pertinent. Zooming in on a highly specific group can stick out a bit if it's just a random logo or article and you say something like 'the use of numbers is particularly effective for members of the audience who like statistics' :P The logo looks handwritten, written by a local person rather than faceless corporate giants. This further accentuates the idea that IGA is run by a group of locals in favour of their locals. again, some repetition here. The strong appeal to the reader's desire to support their community is the main focus of IGA's slogan and was is (keep a consistent present tense) designed to illustrate IGA as a company that is local, Australian and for the people.

Unlike IGA, but similar to Sears, Shopko focuses on the consumer and of on(?) their desires. The slogan is written in first person in order for the reader to feel as if it applies to themselves as they read it. "My life. my style. my store" forces the reader to feel that it is their store and suggests that the store is most people's "life", "style" and "store". Good use of evidence; the quote integration isn't as smooth as it could be, but because it's a really short slogan and not a proper sentence, it's hard to integrate it properly in this context. It creates a mentality that a Shopko consumer cannot shop at other shops and leaves the reader with a decision to choose one or the other I think I see what you're getting at, but perhaps just try and make it a bit more explicit here (ie. creates a sense of brand loyalty, etc.) To those readers that already shop at Shopko and other stores, this intends to force those readers phrasing is a bit weird here: rather than saying 'to those readers... this intends to force those readers to...' try to go for simpler expressions like 'This encourages readers who already shop at Shopko to...' to leave their other stores and become a loyal shopper of a retail store of style. Shopko and Sears similarly employ three short phrases in a bid to make the slogan catchy and stick in the reader's mind. This is emphasised by the alliteration of "g" in Sears and of "m" in Shopko to ensure the reader remembers the slogan that portrays  the company in the way that they wish this is a bit surface-level. Alliteration in general is a pretty dull persuasive device since you're never really persuaded by something just because it uses the same letter a couple of times :P What you've said here about making the slogan memorable is true, though the point about portraying the company 'in the way that they wish' needs a bit more explaining. Also, try and end your paragraph on a point about overall intention, rather than a new piece of analysis since concluding with a new point makes it seem a bit incomplete.

Some great interpretive statements here, and I'm impressed by some of the visual features you've chosen to unpack.

Specificity was a bit of an issue in some sections, and you could afford to 'zoom in' to the language (or in this case graphic details as well as some of the words in the slogans) a bit more.

Sentence structure is probably the biggest thing though. I've made some comments within your piece, and hopefully you'll be able to look over the edited versions and see why some of the phrasing might have been a bit convoluted or ungrammatical in your original version, but I've picked out a couple to explain here just because they're really common errors that students tend to make without realising.

By subconsciously swaying the reader it further allows the slogan to be more readily accepted by the reader.
The reason why this is ungrammatical is that you've started with the word 'By...' and that means the sentence has to be something like 'By doing X, the author does Y' because the author is the one doing X. So you couldn't say 'By appealing to readers' sense of patriotism, the inclusive language helps reinforce the author's contention' because that would imply that the inclusive language is deliberately appealing to patriotism...  ???

Basically when you start a sentence with 'By...' you need to have an ACTIVE/CONSCIOUS subject/agent (so a PERSON doing the THING) after you have the 'by doing X' part.

So:
--> 'By doing X, the author creates a sense of...' = all good
--> 'By doing X, it creates a sense of...' = not so good.

The definitive "guarantee" coloured with the dominating colour of blue, the reader is positioned to trust the lofty claims made in Sears slogan.
This one will hopefully be more apparent, but there's essentially a missing word or two in the middle here. If we simplify this to:
            'The definitive "guarantee" coloured in blue, the reader is positioned to trust Sears.'
...you'll see that it sounds kind of incomplete and as though there's nothing connecting the first bit from the second.
Changing this to:
            'The definitive "guarantee" coloured in blue positions the reader to trust Sears.'
or
            'The definitive "guarantee" coloured in blue contributes to the positioning of the reader to trust Sears'
would be fine though.

A surfeit of blue is featured in the advertisement for American department store chain, SEARS, in order to make the brand more appealing to the audience of American consumers. This colour which is heavily featured in the advertisement has connotations with tranquillity and peace, insinuating that to buy from their brand would be to find similar quietude in the viewer’s life. This notion is supported by the advertisement’s repetition of the “g” consonant in their motto through the words “good”, “great” and “guaranteed”. Drawing the audience’s attention to these words, the advertisement seeks to convey the idea that to buy from their store would ensure they would have a “good life”. great pattern of analysis, but the ending is a little underwhelming since you're saying the effect of the words "good" "great" and "guaranteed" conveys a sense of a "good" life, but the analysis doesn't really go beyond that. It's kind of like you're looking for a definition of a word and they've used that word in the definition (eg. 'what's the definition of inculcation?' 'Oh, it means the process of inculcating something' '...thanks -.-') Try to avoid using quotes by way of explanation unless you're adding more detail in describing the effect here. To this end, the advertisement appeals to the audience’s desire to have a “great” life, manoeuvring them to perceive buying from their store would ensure they could have the life they desire good. Similarly, the Marshalls advertisement is predominantly blue and features an alliterative slogan. Appealing to the audience’s desire to be regarded as a person to be admired, the campaign frankly affirms those who were “fabulous” would “never pay full price”. To this end, they encourage the notion you can't 'encourage a notion.' That's like saying you 'flatter an idea.' Encourage works when you're talking about people (ie. encouraging readers to...) whereas 'notion' would need a verb like 'communicate/convey/establish/reinforce/highlight' etc. that to buy from their brand would gain the consumer the admiration and respect of their peers. Employing alliteration and placing an emphasis on their “great price[ s]”, both brands encourage the audience to buy from their stores. bit summative, and you've kind of made this point already so rewording it/restating it here doesn't add much to the discussion. When comparing, it's sufficient to just transition from Piece A to Piece B and then end by talking about the effect of Piece B. You don't have to come back to them both at the end and make some statement about their similarities or differences.

Both IGA and Shopko appeal to their audience’s desire for a personalised shopping experience. The former’s reference to “locals” in their slogan intimates the chain had tailored the experience to the locality as opposed to have a general shared experienced amongst their consumers irrespective of their location. Giving the impression the chain had sought seeks (keep a consistent present tense) to tailor their stores to the “locals” and to the consumer themselves, IGA seeks repetition to endear themselves to the viewer; their slogan appeals to the viewer’s desire this is also a bit repetitive and could easily be cut or combined with the previous phrase to make this one independent sentence instead of one that's broken up with a semicolon in the middle to be regarded as a unique individual as opposed to just another customer. Likewise, retail store chain, Shopko, aspires to give the impression their stores were are specifically customised with the audience in mind. Their anaphora of the word “my” enables the audience to regard the brand with some degree of ownership as though store belonged to them and had been designed with their needs in mind. This is supposed to I think I let this slide before, and it's not a 'wrong' or even overtly clunky sentence, but it kind of seems like a roundabout way of trying to avoid being too definitive. Or, more accurately, it seems like it's a teensey bit evaluative because you're kind of undermining the author by saying 'this is supposed to have this effect' (...implying that it fails to do so.) A phrase like 'this is intended to' or 'this forms part of the author's attempts to' or even 'this contributes to the sense of...' would be preferrable here endear the audience to the brand because they are positioned to admire the effort Shopko and similarly, IGA, had purportedly put into in an attempt to proffer them a unique shopping experience. Good; the comparison here is a little less forced - I think because it flows on smoothly from the end of your analysis instead of being a standalone sentence that's just  like 'Both of these shops use X technique' - not that your previous para. was that clunky - so this kind of thing is totally acceptable.

Great flow here, and pretty solid discussion of visual details. Keep an eye on word choices but as usual that's no biggie.

Some of the phrasing is a little long-winded, but since the priority is on clarity, I'd rather you took a few extra words to make things super-clear than tell you to cut down and have that compromise the quality of your analysis. Plus I'd argue depth > breadth (within reason) for L.A. tasks and the way you're unpacking language and devices is awesome.

Just watch out for repetition within sentences and any unnecessary phrases.

And PRESENT TENSE. Always present tense* ;)

*technically there are exceptions but if you always write in present tense for L.A. to describe what the author is doing as opposed to what was done, you'll be all good!

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Re: [2016 LA Club] Week 4
« Reply #4 on: March 23, 2016, 08:05:05 pm »
+2
I did separate analysis of each slogan and I wanna give it try! :)

The advertisement of Sear's draws the reader's attention to the 'good[ness] and great[ness]' of its products or services. The phrase 'good life' portrays an image of a stupendous life in the reader's mind in order to allude them the idea of a better life through their products. Equally, the phrase 'great price' appeals to the reader's sense of concern on money expenditure and thus, encourages the reader to purchase their products because it is affordable.Through the word 'guaranteed', it insinuates the value of 'good life' and 'great price' and attracts the reader's trust and respect due to their undoubtful authenticity of their services. Furthermore, Sear's intends to gain the reader's approval and as a result, compliment their qualities of service.

The advertisement of IGA targets 'the locals' because it asserts that the store is a desire of the locals to have their 'own'. The word 'own', implies the ownership and possession that the locals have of the store and that it is a close knit of community circle. It is inviting customers to purchase their deals and goods, to become part of their community. The handwritten sentence, 'How the locals like it', suggest that the IGA is built upon the efforts and contributions made by the locals to 'like' the store. The generalisation of the 'likes' of the locals, infers that majority of people are shoppers because they 'like it' and so the readers is lured to become one of the regular customers. Moreover, IGA contents to the desire of the reader to belong to a community by buying from the store.

The slogan Shopko urges the reader to favour the store as it compliments their taste of 'life', 'style' and type of 'store'. The repetitive word 'my' creates an unusual obsession in the reader to regularly  buy from the store. The large words 'Shopko' is to permanently imprint the name of the store in the reader's mind, hence the will potentially purchase from the store. Furthermore, Shopko intends the reader to consider the store as their favourite and in turn, they might contribute their ideas to the store.

The slogan Marshalls, manipulates the reader to consider their goods as 'fabulous'. The word 'Never', dispels the doubts in the reader's mind and  the reader may completely trust the services of Marshalls. The exaggeration 'full price' implies that their products are half price and better quality than a full price product which encourages the reader to consider their price because their prices are substantial and affordable. Therefore, the Marshalls contends to compliment the financial status of their readers and thus, draw their attention to their 'fabulous' prices.

literally lauren

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Re: [2016 LA Club] Week 4
« Reply #5 on: April 04, 2016, 08:39:00 am »
0
The advertisement of Sears draws the reader's attention to the 'good[ness] and great[ness]' of its products or services. The phrase 'good life' portrays an image of a stupendous life in the reader's mind in order to allude them the idea of a better life expression is quite a bit clunky here, and it seems like your point boils down to 'the phrase 'good life' makes readers think of a good life' so you'll want to be a bit more descriptive with the effect here through their products. Equally, the phrase 'great price' appeals to the reader's sense of concern on money expenditure and thus, encourages the reader to purchase their products because it is affordable.Through the word 'guaranteed', it this is a really common sentence structure issue that I've mentioned before, but the main problem here is your use of the word 'it.' Technically you're using 'it' to refer back to 'the word "guaranteed"' but you've started the previous sentence by saying 'Through the word 'guaranteed'' which changes things a bit. It'd be kind of like if you said 'In order to repair the car, it was very broken' - I know that you're trying to say that the car is broken, but the way you've set up that first part means I'm expecting you to phrase the second part differently. In this case, you've begun with the word 'Through...' which means you're saying something about how the author accomplishes something.

ie. 'Through drawing attention to X, the author seeks to Y'

And in these cases, you HAVE to have an active agent/person immediately after that first green part. So you CAN'T say:

'Through drawing attention to X, a sense of fear is evoked.'
or
'Through drawing attention to X, the audience are inclined to feel afraid.'
or
'Through drawing attention to X, the technique is able to engender fear.'

because we need THE AUTHOR to be the focus at the start of that orange part since they're the ones 'drawing attention to X.'

...insinuates the value of 'good life' and 'great price' and attracts the reader's trust and respect due to their undoubtful not sure what you're saying here authenticity of their services. Furthermore, Sears intends to gain the reader's approval and as a result, compliment their qualities of service. This is a bit too general; try and hone in on specific language devices (in this case visual devices) and link them to this intended effect of 'approval.' It's more important that you can show your workings by doing that process clearly than to make more broad, sweeping statements about the piece as a whole.

The advertisement of IGA targets 'the locals' because it asserts that the store is a desire of the locals to have their 'own' expression: 'the store is a desire of locals' sounds a bit odd. Perhaps 'the store is the product of the desire of locals' would make more sense here. The word 'own', implies the ownership and possession that the locals have of the store and that it is a close knit of community circle. It is inviting customers to purchase their deals and goods, to become part of their community. The handwritten sentence, 'How the locals like it', suggest that the IGA is built upon the efforts and contributions made by the locals to 'like' the store. The generalisation of the 'likes' of the locals, infers that majority of people are shoppers because they 'like it' and so the readers is lured to become one of the regular customers you're not wrong, but rather than focusing on the behaviour that might come about as a result of the material, try instead to think about the changes in perception and mindset, since that's more what VCAA are interested in seeing. (Reason being: assessors can poke holes in your logic if you're talking about really concrete consequences like 'this ad makes more people shop at IGA,' as opposed to safer statements like 'this ad makes people WANT to shop at IGA' which is worth more marks :P). Moreover, IGA contents to the desire of the reader I'm guessing you meant 'contends' here, though I don't think that word would fit either; 'appeals' might work to belong to a community by buying from the store.

The slogan Shopko urges the reader to favour the store as it compliments their taste of 'life', 'style' and type of 'store'. The repetitive word 'my' creates an unusual obsession not sure you've got the right effect in this case? in the reader to regularly buy from the store again, think about the psychology of persuasion rather than the actual real-world consequences. The large words 'Shopko' is to permanently imprint the name of the store in the reader's mind, hence the will potentially purchase from the store. Furthermore, Shopko intends compels the reader to consider the store as their favourite and in turn, they might contribute their ideas to the store. If you're ending a paragraph, try and use a word like 'Thus...' 'Hence...' 'Therefore...' 'Ultimately...' for that final sentence because 'Furthermore' makes it sound like you're bringing up a different related idea rather than wrapping up the previous one.

The slogan Marshalls, manipulates the reader to consider their goods as 'fabulous'. The word 'Never', dispels the doubts in the reader's mind and the reader may completely trust the services of Marshalls. see above. Think: how does the author want readers to think/feel/believe? <-- try and focus on that process as much as possible when describing the effect on readers. The exaggeration 'full price' how is this an exaggeration? implies that their products are half price and better quality than a full price product which encourages the reader to consider their price because their prices are substantial and affordable maybe it's just the repetition of 'price' here, but it feels like you've got some circular logic that's preventing you from being really clear about the intended message being conveyed to readers. Perhaps try and stick with the language for a little longer and really tease out the meaning (see: connotative analysis before you move on to dealing with how the author is manipulating readers). Therefore, the Marshalls contends word check. The word 'contends' works the same as the word 'argues,' so you can say 'The author contends/argues that more people should buy fresh produce' or 'The author contends/argues that shopping is cool' but at the moment you seem to be using it like the word 'intends' as in, 'The author intends to portray shopping as cool' which isn't quite right. to compliment the financial status of their readers and thus, draw their attention to their 'fabulous' prices.

Some expression/clarity issues that are worth noting, and your use of metalanguage was occasionally a bit confusing. The general pattern of analysis you've got is good, but refining your sentence structure would probably help make things a bit clearer for your assessor. Let me know if you need clarification with any of those comments above :)