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Author Topic: Year 10 English Essay Marking  (Read 4438 times)  Share 

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Alisa090103

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Year 10 English Essay Marking
« on: September 01, 2018, 09:12:21 pm »
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Hi! I'm in Year 10 and currently studying Macbeth. I would really appreciate critical feedback for this essay :)
The prompt is “Macbeth’s ambition destroys any rational decision-making processes”
Thank you so much! :)



Many different individuals tend to have their own unique ambitions that are expressed in terms of their values and desires. These ambitions are also paired with an either positive or negative consequence, but an overly strong desire or determination could wholly cover up reasonable decision making. William Shakespeare strongly expresses these ideas in Macbeth where Macbeth’s ambition is the main driving force of the play in which he undergoes various circumstances that both increases his drive for power, by his own will and the outside force namely, the witches and Lady Macbeth that ignite his constant drive for authority and power. Shakespeare also deals with the issue that success to power can lead to a constant greed to maintain the high status and will in turn overstep anything that is seen as a barrier to his success. Macbeth’s over elevated ambition causes him to turn a blind eye to any valid judgment and forced him to change his nature towards evil and darkness in which he lacked in the beginning. Shakespeare significantly characterizes Macbeth as embodiments of obsession for supremacy, inferring that these traits are the ultimate cause of Macbeth’s irrational decision making leading to his downfall. Macbeth’s view of his overly engrossed rise to power challenges his own thinking and compromises his character, thus providing a significance link between the obsessive trait for the success of ambition and the downfall of any coherent judgement made as a result of it.

The concept that the power of ambition as a result of a sudden rise to a higher status fundamentally overpowers any reasonable judgement because of the accompanying greed to sustain more than what one has, is explored through Macbeth. His attitude to power and control rises when he successfully murders King Duncan. The three witches play an important role in transferring Macbeth’s mind into one of evil where they give a premonition that: “shalt be king hereafter” which triggers his murderous ambition to kill King Duncan as an attempt to ascend to the crown. But it was Lady Macbeth who ultimately contrives and carries out the decision to murder Duncan stating that Macbeth is “too full o’th’milk of human kindness” Shakespeare significantly utilizes the symbolism of “milk” which undermines Lady Macbeth’s fear that Macbeth is too innocent with too much purity to consume himself with evil and completely detach himself from kindness. This is as an evident contrast to when he heard of the witch’s prophecies and states that: “Let not light see my black and deep desires” As in distinction to his “pure and white” soul, his ambition for the possibility of everything to go in his favour, has caused him to gain a “black” desire. Throughout Macbeth’s journey to murder King Duncan, his moral code is still very much evident, and that his evil intentions are just vaulted by his ambition: “I have no spur to prick the sides of my intent,
but only vaulting ambition which o’erleaps itself
and falls on th’ other” Shakespeare expressed Macbeth’s acknowledgment that ambition is the only driving force for his murderous intentions. Shakespeare stresses Macbeth’s fear in killing Duncan through a soliloquy where Macbeth presents his vision of his dagger. The dagger is an important symbol which presents to Macbeth as a warning sign, where he conscious is trying to overturn his actions. It is an embodiment of Macbeth’s guilty conscience. Through Shakespeare’s tone, he effectively expressed Macbeth’s fear. The two soliloquies to express this fear of killing Duncan, culminating with a hallucination of the bloody knife during Duncan’s murder underscores his mixed feelings in murder. Through this, Shakespeare effectively emphasizes the idea that at the commencement of the play, his innermost thought was still in par with reasonable consciousness, where Macbeth had still thought about the outcomes his actions before acting upon them.  This clearly differentiates with his ambitious feeling when he orders for Banquo to be killed where the thought of Banquo’s knowledge about the witch’s prophecies and the possibility of his descendants becoming overthrowing his title as king consumes Macbeth, leading him into evil.  Shakespeare’s sudden turn of Macbeth’s attitude highlights that he has become one with his craving desires rather than identifying the evil. Banquo suspicion on the notion that Macbeth immorally became the king lead him to his final downfall: “Thou hast I now, King, Cawdor, Glamis,
As the weird women promised, and I fear” 
Shakespeare significantly uses another soliloquy in the perspective of Banquo underscoring his suspiciousness that Macbeth obtained his title dishonestly. Macbeth also fears that Banquo could easily overpower him with his leadership and intelligence stating: “To be thus is nothing
But to be safely thus. Our fears in Banquo
Stick deep and in his royalty of nature” stating to the murderers that Banquo is his “enemy” and then orders for him to be assassinated “Banquo, thy soul’s flight/ If it find heaven, must find it out tonight”
Shakespeare effectively contrasts Macbeth’s hesitant feeling in murdering King Duncan to him acting hastily and without any sympathy hiring three murderers to murder Banquo in fear of the possibility of his descendants ascending to be king which the witches had also prophesized. Macbeth went to the extent to disregard Lady Macbeth’s opinion who was a major influence in Duncan’s murder telling her to be “innocent of the knowledge”. Shakespeare highlights Macbeth’s willingness to murder an innocent being for the sake of his obsessive ambition to which rapidly rises with every paranoia image that could in any way discerned Macbeth from fulfilling the witches’ prophecies, namely in this sake, his rise in ambition to stay as king. Thus, as Shakespeare provides us with a sudden change in attitude as a result of Macbeth increasing his sense of ambition and the overwhelming need to accomplish it by no means, his reasonable and rational thinking is in turn compromised to fulfill his plans as he resorts to countless more evil deeds to satisfy his never-ending paranoia.

Macbeth has subconsciously changed throughout the time period of the play to an entirely different person due to the fact that his ambition has dominated over his nature and ultimately wins over his conscious and rational thinking. His conscience, that which he knows is true is now powerless in the face of his ambition. Shakespeare expresses this idea through Macbeth’s change in his thoughts before an event of a murder. After Banquo’s murder by the commands of Macbeth he states: “I am in blood/Returning were as tedious as go o’er” Shakespeare effectively conveys the idea that Macbeth has already fallen into the side full of guilt and evil, through the significant symbol of blood, which represents darkness and evil intentions. Macbeth as as a result of his obsessive trait for ambition, chose to satisfy his needs by all means, and makes rash decision to prevent his downfall. Shakespeare underscores his quick and careless thinking during the climax of the play when Macbeth plots to murder Macduff’s family, as Macduff himself was already in England. The witches had told him to “beware Macduff” and as a result of his paranoia of being in a state of downfall due to other’s success, he irrationally decides to murder that of Macduff to clear the threat. Shakespeare highlights Macbeth’s ignorance and quick thinking, avoiding to rationally go through the situation when Macbeth nearly instantly reply to the witches that “Macduff, what need I fear of thee?/ But yet I’ll make assurance double sure
thou shalt not live” Despite Macbeth not fearing Macduff, he wants to guarantee his own fate with a quick decision to murder Macduff for insurance that he will be safe on the throne. Shakespeare not only underscores Macbeth’s over reliance in the witch’s prophecies, but his pitiable decision making. Macbeth’s determined motive to eliminating any of those who are a threat to his power, is accentuated further stating “The very firstlings of my heart shall be
The firstlings of my hand
Give to th’edge o’th’sword
His wife, his babes, and all unfortunate souls” In the soliloquy, Shakespeare includes the notion of the theme of time, where Macbeth expresses a great sense of urgency and decides that intentions without action are useless. He resolves this by following his first instincts instantly without the objections of his conscience. Shakespeare’s significant references to time, underscores Macbeth’s hurry to satisfy his ambition and wanting to know what the future holds for him before time catches up with them and even goes as far as demanding the witches if “Banquo’s issue ever
Reign in this kingdom” bidding them “eternal curse” if they were to deny him of this. Even with Banquo’s death, Macbeth’s mind which is set on maintaining his power constantly consumes his mind. He is sinking deeper into insanity and is consumed by doing whatever it takes to keep his crown, a tyrant who will irrationally murder innocent people to keep his title. Macbeth decides to kill his wife and children to get back at him in the worst way possible. This verifies that he has lost consciousness of what is morally right and wrong. He no longer has reasons for killing people and no longer targeting just his political enemies but also the innocent to which his enemies hold close believing it will cause them to submit out of fear and grief. Macbeth’s ignorant trust in the witches awakens his bloody tyrant figure as he considers he must rid those that is a threat to himself. Thus, through the representation of Macbeths’ turn in character and attitude, Shakespeare demonstrates how Macbeth’s desire to satisfy his ambition leads him to make irrational decisions, and presented to us through this ruthless, cold blooded killer murdering of innocent victims as a plot to de-route any potential threats to his power.


Macbeth’s decision making has consequently collapsed by the hands of his obsessive greed for everlasting power and authority. The prophecies that Macbeth had received are an undermining factor to his temporary success, but also his own decisions to fulfill them. Macbeth’s choices, which are driven by his vaulting ambition, are ultimately responsible for the actions that leads him to his fate. Shakespeare draws a fine line separating the power of the witches’ prophecies and Macbeth’s own action lead by his intentions. The witches greet Macbeth as the “Thane of Glamis…/Thane of Cawdor/king hereafter” Shakespeare presents these prophecies as mere temptations, but it was his ambition that drives him to follow the plan to acquire the throne as well as secure it by no means. Macbeth is in no way under a spell or curse by the witches; he chose to create a path of evil for himself, surrendering into his ambitions, and as a result of these ambitions and over reliance to his mortality, his decisions turns rash and ignorant. These decision stems from his choices to not consider the multiple interpretations and implications of the information he receives, crafting everything into his own benefit. Shakespeare expresses this notion when Macbeth meet the witches again. The witches tell him to “Be bloody, bold, and resolute; laugh to scorn
The power of man, for none of woman born
Shall harm Macbeth”
Shakespeare effectively emphasises Macbeth’s foolishness by the use of a double entendre, where Macbeth is made to interpret the prophecy to his favour only, denying any view that could harm his ambition. His insanity and paranoia for power, leads him to believe no one in the world could harm him, as all humans are given birth by a woman. These prophecies ultimately lead Macbeth to feel fearless and immortal.  This false confidence that Macbeth receives allow him to make his final decisions that led him into his downfall, stating to “Go prick thy face and over-red thy fear”. Macbeth kills a young Siward boasting the prophecy that he was given: “But swords I smile at, weapons laugh to scorn
Brandished by man that’s of woman born.”
Shakespeare’s use of confidence and high modality in Macbeth’s tone of voice, underscores his obsession for his power, but when he states again to Macduff, he replies that “Macduff was from his mother’s womb/Untimely ripped” Thus, Macbeth fully comprehends his deception of the witches and realizes that he is destined to die by the hands of Macduff. Shakespeare expresses that Macbeth chose to make himself believe that “fair is foul, and foul is fair”, and put himself in a position where only more violence could rectify. His greed for power and ambition all together caused his downfall. He acted upon the witches’ prophecies through violence, and as his desire for ambition increased, his irrational decision making was compromise, leading him to be dumbfounded by the double interpretations that the weird sisters told him. His strong belief that no man could kill him, in turn betrays him as he becomes completely demoralized and lose battle spirit stating, “I’ll not fight with thee.” Which was met by Macduff referring to him as a “coward. “Macbeth’s ambition, initially encouraged by Lady Macbeth and the witches, but later his own personal choices to walk down the path of a ruthless tyrant, became an overwhelming force that made him into a person who only thought in their own favour, against his own good conscience, resulting in the death of his own making.

Thus, through the characterization and representation of Macbeth, who has a fatal weakness; obsession over ambition, Shakespeare expresses the idea that through this, Macbeth’s rational decision making, and thinking is compromised. His character changed from a respected general and a loyal subject of the king, to a man whose mind was only set in self gain and power, where his ambition developed and festered his mind. Macbeth’s ambition and its consequence provides the inextricable link between his own self-centered ambition and the compromisation of his judicious decision making.
« Last Edit: September 01, 2018, 09:14:51 pm by Alisa090103 »

OZLexico

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Re: Year 10 English Essay Marking
« Reply #1 on: September 02, 2018, 07:18:27 pm »
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I'll make some general type comments for you rather than nit-picking - I'm not sure where your paragraph breaks are (this might just be a typing/spacing issue) but you main points should be clearer (make them into good strong topic sentences).  You're saying that Macbeth's ambitions change after he's promoted by Duncan and that Macbeth also accepts "support" from the witches' predictions early in the play.  You also say that Macbeth's decision-making turns ruthless in the murder of Banquo and you show that his fears are justified by Banquo's own reflections on Macbeth's rise to power.  (I liked your comment that Macbeth's view of murder has changed by this time, contrasting with his hesitation over the murder of Duncan) You follow up with the argument that Macbeth's over-confidence is suddenly eroded in his confrontation with MacDuff.  I think you've got too much re-telling of the plot that diverts your attention away from your main points and pads out the content - do not re-tell the plot, keep your discussion relevant to the essay topic.  Another useful thing you could do is to (briefly) look away from the character Macbeth and look at what other characters say about him - they are the sources of your information that tell you that Macbeth has become a bad ruler ie a bad decision-maker (look at the scene in MacDuff's camp in England, something about the land being burned and new widows and orphans are made every day).  Quotes from this part of the play will support your view that "ambition" has adversely affected Macbeth's decision-making.  Comments about this will also show that you know about the role of minor characters too!  You've also got quite a good conclusion - in fact I think some of it would be handy to use in your introduction.         

Alisa090103

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Re: Year 10 English Essay Marking
« Reply #2 on: September 02, 2018, 09:07:38 pm »
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I'll make some general type comments for you rather than nit-picking - I'm not sure where your paragraph breaks are (this might just be a typing/spacing issue) but you main points should be clearer (make them into good strong topic sentences).  You're saying that Macbeth's ambitions change after he's promoted by Duncan and that Macbeth also accepts "support" from the witches' predictions early in the play.  You also say that Macbeth's decision-making turns ruthless in the murder of Banquo and you show that his fears are justified by Banquo's own reflections on Macbeth's rise to power.  (I liked your comment that Macbeth's view of murder has changed by this time, contrasting with his hesitation over the murder of Duncan) You follow up with the argument that Macbeth's over-confidence is suddenly eroded in his confrontation with MacDuff.  I think you've got too much re-telling of the plot that diverts your attention away from your main points and pads out the content - do not re-tell the plot, keep your discussion relevant to the essay topic.  Another useful thing you could do is to (briefly) look away from the character Macbeth and look at what other characters say about him - they are the sources of your information that tell you that Macbeth has become a bad ruler ie a bad decision-maker (look at the scene in MacDuff's camp in England, something about the land being burned and new widows and orphans are made every day).  Quotes from this part of the play will support your view that "ambition" has adversely affected Macbeth's decision-making.  Comments about this will also show that you know about the role of minor characters too!  You've also got quite a good conclusion - in fact I think some of it would be handy to use in your introduction.       

Thank you so much! It really helped  :)