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Author Topic: 2018 AA Club - Week 21  (Read 1415 times)

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scout

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2018 AA Club - Week 21
« on: October 08, 2018, 08:28:32 pm »
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Background: Scott Morrison has recently announced a royal commission into the aged care sector in response to complaints about disturbing incidents of abuse in aged care homes.

Royal commission must help make aged care sustainable

It is often said the true measure of a society is found in how it treats its most vulnerable members. Older Australians, particularly those who require support, fall squarely into this category.

We all want a safe and high-quality aged care system that delivers accessible, affordable, quality care and services for older Australians. They need it and deserve it. The government's announcement of a royal commission into aged care will play a key role in making Australia's aged care system better.

More than 1.3 million older Australians receive some form of aged care service today including nearly 240,000 in permanent residential aged care each year. With around 2000 Australians turning 65 every week, and a further 1000 turning 85, the demand for care and support is increasing rapidly.

A recent PwC report estimated on current projections an additional 226,000 residential aged care places would be required by 2040 at a capital cost of just under $50 billion. However, over recent years successive Australian governments have reduced residential aged care funding by an estimated $3 billion.

The industry has repeatedly told government that our aged care system settings have not kept pace with the increase in demand for care and services, driven by climbing numbers of older Australians in our communities. Put simply, there is a growing mismatch between the needs and expectations of older Australians and the wider community, and the services aged care providers are  funded to provide.

Independent analysis estimates 43 per cent of Australia's residential aged care facilities in 2018 are operating at a loss. The situation is even more dire in regional and rural areas where three in every five facilities are in the red. This is clearly not sustainable. There are also around 110,000 older Australians waiting in the national queue for home care services. These are people who have been assessed as requiring care at home, but who  don't receive the level of support recommended, or even worse don't get any care at all.

The community, largely shaped by personal experience, is acutely attuned to the present and looming challenges of providing accessible aged care services. The recent Committee for Economic Development Australia's Community Pulse report found that "high quality and choice of aged care services" ranked third in the top five critical paths for the nation in the minds of Australians. The establishment of a royal commission suggests the government is now also well and truly awake to these community sensitivities.

-Sean Rooney


Be sceptical of aged care royal commission

The state of Australia’s aged care sector is worsening every day, with overstretched staff forced to work harder and faster than ever before, inadequate training and stagnant wages. Residents’ expectations of what living in an aged care home should be are constantly being lowered. All the while, profits are tidy and the industry is booming.

The media have been full of stories of residents being handled roughly and sometimes abused and assaulted by frustrated aged care workers. These stories have made their way to the top of the news cycle, with politicians who care little about the welfare of the elderly attempting to generate much-needed political credibility by taking up the cause.

The best example of this is prime minister Scott Morrison, who last month announced a royal commission into the aged care sector. “I think we should brace ourselves for some pretty bruising information about the way our loved ones, some of them, have experienced some real mistreatment”, he said, “And I think that’s going to be tough for us all to deal with. But you can’t walk past it.”

This is an unpopular government, cynically feigning concern for aged care residents in order to get a bump in the polls. It was under this same Liberal government, when Morrison was treasurer, that funding to the aged care sector was cut, and conditions for workers and residents so shamefully deteriorated.

In last year’s budget, Morrison as treasurer proudly announced that the government would “achieve efficiencies” in the aged care sector of $1.2 billion over four years.

These “efficiencies” have not come at the cost of CEO salaries. Regis aged care provider CEO Ross Johnston won’t be suffering with his $1 million annual pay, nor will Japara CEO Andrew Sudholz, who comes in a close second with a $950,000 salary. These efficiencies will come, as they always have, from suppressing the wages of aged care workers and drastically increasing their workload.

Any talk in the media or by the political class of mistreatment of aged care residents by staff needs to take into consideration the incredibly stressful and dehumanising environment in which they work. To do otherwise is disingenuous and a deliberate attempt to avoid responsibility.

Blame must be laid squarely at the feet of the governments and CEOs who have deliberately starved the sector of adequate staffing and funding.

A touted “solution” to the crisis in the sector is to install cameras in the rooms of every resident. This idea has been floated by the current aged care minister, Ken Wyatt. How Wyatt might feel about having a camera installed in his bedroom to film his activities 24 hours a day is unclear, but it is telling of the political climate that such a punitive solution to a quite simple problem of understaffing is being taken seriously at all.

Working in aged care is hard. The work is heavy, it is physically and emotionally demanding, the pay is terrible, and the workload is increasing. The Nurses Federation, the Health Services Union and the Australian Medical Association have been arguing for years now that the sector needs better staffing, better pay and better training.

The recently announced royal commission will not tell us anything that we don’t already know. It will only seek to shift the blame and focus of this debate on to individual workers, while allowing cost-cutting governments to portray themselves as the good guys.

-Eric Le Roy
ATAR: 99.70

Anonymous

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Re: 2018 AA Club - Week 21
« Reply #1 on: October 09, 2018, 01:12:24 pm »
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I've been struggling with writing a language analysis. It seems like I've forgotten how to write one. Here is my attempt on these 2 articles.



Recently debate resurfaced regarding the issue of a royal commision into the aged care sector. Targetted towards older people and those working in the aged care sector, two writers shared their views. In an article titled Royal commision must help make aged care sustainable, Sean Rooney formally contends that the governments new royal commision into aged care will improve the existing system. In contrast to Rooney, Eric le royal wrote an article titled Be sceptical of aged care royal commision. In a critical yet scathing tone, he argues that the royal commision will shift the blame to the workers and portray the government in a positive light.


From the onset of the article Rooney argues that many Australian receive some sort of aged care system and that the demand for care and support is increasing.  That “more than 1.3 million older Australian receive some sort of aged car”  Thus this creates a feeling of shock on the readers to highlight the enormous amount of older people receiving health care thus this generates more interest from the readers and shows how the “demand for support and care is increasing rapidly”. He then juxtaposes this with the fact that there has been “an additional 226,000 would be required by 2040,... under 50 billion dollars” yet the “government” has reduced aged funding by an estimated “3 billion”. This creates a feeling of anger on the reader and further demonstrates the issues within our aged care system.  Aged care facility, especially in rural areas, are “operating at loss”. “There  are people who have been assessed as requiring care at home, but who  don't receive the level of support recommended, or even worse don't get any care at all.” This generates readers to feel sorry for the people there and once again criticizes Australias falling aged care system. Rooney then goes on a positive light showing that the recent report by the Committee for Economic Development Australia's Community Pulse report found that "high quality and choice of aged care services" ranked third in the top five critical paths for the nation in the minds of Australians”.  This brings the audience to end on a good note as the government is aware of the issue and is willing to address them through the royal commision on aged care.

From the commencement of Le royal article, he portrays a negative picture of the aged care system. With “ the media … full of stories of residents being handled roughly and sometimes abused and assaulted by frustrated aged care workers”.This is so politicians can take up the cause and be put in a positive light. Thus this results in critical thinking from the audience who now understand that it is a poly to stay in power. Le royal then brings a quote from prime minister  Scott Morrison “I think we should brace ourselves for some pretty bruising information about the way our loved ones, some of them, have experienced some real mistreatment” Le Royal argues that it was under this government were funding was cut. Now they are  “cynically feigning concern for aged care residents in order to get a bump in the polls.”  This results in the readers to really think about the government's actions and plans.


Thanks in advance

Anonymous

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Re: 2018 AA Club - Week 21
« Reply #2 on: October 09, 2018, 08:20:37 pm »
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**** please take my feedback with a grain of salt cause sometimes idk what im doing***[/b]
I've been struggling with writing a language analysis. It seems like I've forgotten how to write one. Here is my attempt on these 2 articles.



Recently debate resurfaced regarding the issue I would probably talk more about how this discussion has resurfaced by the mistreatment towards elders? of a royal commision into the aged care sector. Targetted towards older people and those working in the aged care sector I can see what you mean but I believe the intended audience are average Australians reading the newspaper. You're right in the sense that the article talks about these two stakeholders two writers shared their views. In an article titled 'Royal commision must help make aged care sustainable', Sean Rooney formally contends that the government's new royal commision commission! into aged care will improve the existing system. you can weave out his contention more... what are his main arguments and what does this suggest his contention is? In contrast to Rooney, Eric le royal wrote an article titled 'Be sceptical of aged care royal commision'. In a critical yet scathing tone good tone selection, he argues that the royal commision will shift the blame to the workers and portray the government in a positive light. yep, but to make it more sophisticated as you are rewording the last sentence, you can say the royal commission is a political move for publicity


From the onset of the article, Rooney argues that whilemany Australians receive some sort of aged care system, it does not meet the increasing and that the demand for care and support is increasing. see what i did there  :)That “more than 1.3 million older Australian receive some sort of aged car”  Thus this creates a feeling of shock on the readers to highlight the enormous amount of older people receiving health care thus this generates more interest from the readers and shows how the “demand for support and care is increasing rapidly”. Be careful with the length of your sentence. This sentence is quite chunk. An alternative way of writing this is "By asserting that 'more than 1.3 million older Australians receive some sort of aged care", Rooney engenders a sense of...... However, good job on identifying the effect!!!  He then juxtaposes this with the fact that there has been “an additional 226,000 would be required by 2040,... under 50 billion dollars” yet the “government” has reduced aged funding by an estimated “3 billion”. This creates a feeling of anger on the reader and further demonstrates the issues within our aged care system. yes!! BUT you can definitely expand on this further. Who is the reader angry at? What does this demonstrate on them? Aged care facility, especially in rural areas, are “operating at loss”. “There  are people who have been assessed as requiring care at home, but who  don't receive the level of support recommended, or even worse don't get any care at all.” In order to make your piece sound more fluent, try and avoid inserting large chunks of quotes at all. Instead, weave them into your sentence!This generates readers to feel sorry for the people there and once again criticizes Australias falling aged care system.  Rooney then goes on a positive light try and not use the word positive, try to be more specific showing that the recent report by the Committee for Economic Development Australia's Community Pulse report found that "high quality and choice of aged care services" ranked third in the top five critical paths for the nation in the minds of Australians”.  This brings the audience to end on a good note as the government is aware of the issue and is willing to address them through the royal commision on aged care. I think you've misread the sentence. To my understanding, this statistic showcases that regular Australians are aware that the aged-care sector is a critical issue

From the commencement of Le royal article, he portrays a negative again, be more specificpicture of the aged care system how?. With “ the media … full of stories of residents being handled roughly and sometimes abused and assaulted by frustrated aged care workers”.This is so politicians can take up the cause and be put in a positive light. Thus this results in critical thinking from the audience who now understand that it is a poly to stay in power. you've picked up on what Royal is trying to convey, but how will readers react towards politicians doing this?  Le royal then brings a quote from prime minister  Scott Morrison “I think we should brace ourselves for some pretty bruising information about the way our loved ones, some of them, have experienced some real mistreatment” make sure that if you bring in a point, you analyseLe Royal argues that it was under this government were funding was cut. Now they are  “cynically feigning concern for aged care residents in order to get a bump in the polls.”  This results in the readers to really think about the government's actions and plans.


Thanks in advance

Hey!
Good effort in giving it a go, especially since you've been struggling with AA! With more practice, I am sure that you'll pick up on the gist of writing an AA
- Try not to put in a slab of quotes, but rather weave it into your piece
-Be careful with your sentence length, and the structure of your sentence. I like to look at high-scoring essays and see how people word things...
- Good job for providing the effect on readers for most of the piece. However, you want to tease these out. Don't stop short! Ask yourself "Why would the author do this? How does she/he do this? Why do the readers feel this?
-Expand on some of your sentences
My best advice on writing AA again after a long time is to read ALOTTTT of other students work!

Argument- Evidence - Effect


vceme

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Re: 2018 AA Club - Week 21
« Reply #3 on: October 09, 2018, 08:25:13 pm »
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Yep, of course I forget to tick off the anonymous button. Reading it again, a few errors with my annotations
** Who is the reader angry at? What does this indicate demonstrate about them?
** you've picked up on what Royal is trying to convey, but how will readers react towards politicians doing this? and why?
Graduated in 2018. Top 5%.

Anonymous

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Re: 2018 AA Club - Week 21
« Reply #4 on: October 09, 2018, 08:30:16 pm »
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Yep, of course I forget to tick off the anonymous button. Reading it again, a few errors with my annotations
** Who is the reader angry at? What does this indicate demonstrate about them?
** you've picked up on what Royal is trying to convey, but how will readers react towards politicians doing this? and why?


Thank you so much. I also made the same mistake

Maya24

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Re: 2018 AA Club - Week 21
« Reply #5 on: October 09, 2018, 08:31:20 pm »
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Do you have any other ideas on how i can improve?
Thanks