writing task

[Pencil]

EDIT: If any people doing french want to join in, just write up your response to the questions! haha we need more people

ok so..

You have lived in the city all your life. Your parents have just announced that they have decided the whole family will soon move to the country. Write in your diary, reacting to the news, telling of your feelings and giving reasons for your reactions.

Vous avez v?cu en ville toute votre vie. Vos parents viennent d'annoncer que tout la famille allait bient?t d?m?nager pour aller vivre ? la campagne. ?crivez vos r?actions dans votre journal intime, en expliquant ce que vous ressentez et pourquoi


It's a question from one of the Leading Edge prac exams. fire away haha.
I'll probably write mine later tonight while I put off doing all my other hw..

[melanie.dee]

whee good work well im doing methods at the moment, but ill do it later tonite too. yay to no longer neglecting french ha. and hello to neglecting economics! yay

[Pencil]

Ok feel free to pick out all my mistakes! Also I kind of took on the persona of being a really prissy brat haha. And I wasn't sure whether I can refer to my diary as like a person, and whether I'm supposed to end it like a letter with 'bisous' or something??

Cher Journal,            11 Juin, 2007

Je viens d?avoir une bagarre ?norme avec mes parents, ils sont vraiment p?nibles.  Comme toujours, ils me rendent folle, mais cette fois-ci, c?est diff?rent.  J?ai bien peur qu?ils aient perdu la t?te!
O? commencer? Alors, j??tais en train de me coiffer, en paix, ce qui est normal (il faut prendre soin de l?apparence!) quand, soudain, mes parents m?ont boulevers?e avec les nouvelles choquantes qu?ils ont l?intention de d?m?nager ? LA CAMPAGNE. Je dis c?est eux qui vont le faire, pas moi, parce que, bien s?r, je n?y irai pas avec eux.  C?est pas un question ? l?id?e m?me est compl?temente folle, et je ne vais surtout pas me bouger sur le sujet. S?ils veulent vivre ?en campagne? avec les hippies, ils peuvent le faire sans moi!
Bien s?r, ils seront vachement d??us d??tre sans moi, mais, ils ont fait leur choix.  Moi, j?ai v?cu en ville toute ma vie, et j?ai pens? que mes parents auraient pris mes affaires en consideration avant de faire une telle d?cision! Comme je te l?ai toujours dit, ils sont vraiment ego?stes, mes parents.  Ils ne pensent ? rien d'autre que soi-m?mes. Comment pourrais-je habiter ? la campagne? D?abord, ?a va ruiner ma manicure. En fait, je suis pas m?me s?re s?il existe les coiffeurs ? la campagne. En plus, je ne pourrais pas supporter l?odeur! Maintenant que j?y pense, c?est dangereux de vivre ? la campagne! Il y a toutes sortes d?animaux sauvages, comme les serpents, les renards et les araign?es, ma vie serait en danger! En fait, je vais expliquer ?a ? maman tout de suite!
Je te tiendrai au courant,
Bisous, Jane      


274 words

[reg]

your expression is incredible! youre going to do so well :p

[melanie.dee]

Ok feel free to pick out all my mistakes! Also I kind of took on the persona of being a really prissy brat haha. And I wasn't sure whether I can refer to my diary as like a person, and whether I'm supposed to end it like a letter with 'bisous' or something??

Cher Journal,            11 Juin, 2007

Je viens d?avoir une dispute (? je crois que 'bagarre' c'est plutot a physical fight) ?norme avec mes parents, ils sont vraiment p?nibles.  Comme toujours, ils me rendent folle, mais cette fois-ci, c?est diff?rent.  J?ai bien peur qu?ils aient perdu la t?te!
O? commencer? Alors, j??tais en train de me coiffer, en paix, qui (pas de "ce".. i think.. doing my hair.. which is normal.. not 'that which is normal") est normal (il faut prendre soin de l?apparence!) quand, soudain (soudainement? mais tout d'un coup marcherait bien je crois), mes parents m?ont boulevers?e avec les nouvelles choquantes qu?ils ont l?intention de d?m?nager ? LA CAMPAGNE. Je dis que c?est eux qui vont le faire, pas moi, parce que, bien s?r, je n?y irai pas avec eux.  C?est pas une question (hmm moi je suis pas sure mais je dirais plutot "c'est hors de question" ou "il n'en est pas question" ou "ca, c'est sur!" maaais chaispas)? l?id?e meme est compl?tement (pas de 'e" la) folle, et je ne vais surtout pas me bouger sur le sujet. S?ils veulent vivre ?en campagne? avec les hippies, ils peuvent le faire sans moi!
Bien s?r, ils seront vachement d??us d??tre sans moi, mais, ils ont fait leur choix.  Moi, j?ai v?cu en ville toute ma vie, et j?ai pens? que mes parents auraient pris (question of english grammar. wouldnt we say "i would have thought that my parents would have taken.." actualyl im not sure.. if so id write that in french, but i duno haha) mes affaires (umm isnt affaires a bit different.. je dirais "sentiments" or something but i duno i might have misunderstood) en consideration avant de prendre une telle d?cision! Comme je te l?ai toujours dit, ils sont vraiment ego?stes, mes parents.  Ils ne pensent ? rien qu'eux-m?mes. Comment pourrais-je habiter ? la campagne? D?abord, ?a va ruiner (ca ruinerait? because you've said how "could" so im thinking "would" not "is going to") ma manicure. En fait, je suis meme pas s?re s?il existe les coiffeurs ? la campagne. En plus, je ne pourrais pas supporter l?odeur! Maintenant que j?y pense, c?est dangereux de vivre ? la campagne! Il y a toutes sortes d?animaux sauvages, comme les serpents, les renards et les araign?es, ma vie serait en danger! En fait, je vais expliquer ?a ? maman tout de suite!
Je te tiendrai au courant,
Bisous, Jane      


274 words

god you are severely underestimating yourself with your study score prediction thats an amazing piece of writing! iv corrected any mistakes i noticed

im gona start my thing now, although problem being now iv read that, im starting mine with that in my head haha.. ill try to forget it tho

gar im getting really confused correcting it haha cos theres brackets and bold signs and shit everywhere haha. im going to psot it, then we'll see ifimissed anything haha[/b]

[Pencil]

thanks for the corrections!
you're probably better at correcting than my teacher (not that she's not awesome) but she's half blind and always misses everything haha.

edit: is it ok to cut off the 'ne' in informal letter/journals? And is it ok that I've referred to the journal as a person haha?

[melanie.dee]

at least your teacher actually speaks french though haha, i couldve missed things too simply because i dont know they're wrong haha.. but you didnt make any massive mistakes anyway, most of the things i put were just things i thought would work better but seeing as thats just my opinion who knows lol.

but seriously you write really well, your obviously good at english too, which help.. lots of people write in really simple language etc without the kind of flair that you have, so i seriously think you'll go really well with the essay in the exam. your better at thinking up ideas than i am ha, i go for the informative persuasive writing tasks cos i struggle to think up inventive situations and reasons haha when im trying to write essays

wow i should stop crapping on and go write my own haha

edit; im not actually sure whether its ok to take the 'ne' off. im guessing it should be, because thats the style of writing your doing and it shows your aware of casual slang ish writing, but im always scared they'll just think im an idiot that doesnt know how to speak french properly haha. check with teacher i guess, i should too.

as for addressing the diary like a person ahhaa. i think so? thats what id do

[melanie.dee]

right, iv have written it after much procrastination and eating of food and watching of television instead.

i am currently spending hours trying to put accents in haha i hate computers.

will psot it in a second!

edit:
-----------------------------
Cher journal,

Tu ne croirais jamais ce qui vient de se passer. Grace ? ce dernier ? incident ? dans lequel ma soeur ?tait impliqu?e, mes parents ont pris la d?cision de d?m?nager ? la campagne ! Non, je rigole pas ! Selon eux, tout est pr?venu, et on quittera la ville pour la campagne la semaine prochaine. J?arrive pas ? comprendre comment ils peuvent prendre une telle d?cision sans m?me prendre en compte mon point de vue. C?est pas juste, ?a c?est s?r !

C?est toujours ma soeur qui me ruine la vie. Cette fois elle ?tait expuls?e de l??cole.. Apparamment, elle a trich? ? plusieurs examens. Mes parents disent que la campagne est plus calme, et qu?il faut qu?on soit dans un environnement o? ma s?ur n?a pas la tentation de se conduire mal. Ce serait sympa pour eux de penser ? moi pour une fois ! On s?attend que je quitte tous mes amis, un lyc?e que j?adore, m?me mon copain, uniquement ? cause d?elle ? Moi, je serais pas capable de survivre ? la campagne ! Je suis quelqu?un qui aime la mode, faire des boutiques, sortir le soir.. c?est m?me pas possible de faire ces choses ? la campagne !

J?en ai vraiment marre.. Je me demande s?il y a une fa?on dont je peux faire changer d?avis mes parents. Je suis pas pr?par?e ? sacrifier tout sans combattre. En fait, je vais leur en parler maintenant. S?rement, ils verront que c?est injuste ? Enfin, j?esp?re.

Je te tiendrai au courant.
Bises,
Am?lie
------------------

voila! correct away! and any comments and such. im sure iv missed some accents to i was going through adding them all at the end ha

ps. i stole your "je te tiendrai au courant" hahaha i tried to think of a replacement but i really couldnt

[melanie.dee]

i wish there were more people on here who did french! come on reg, i hope you're writing an essay too! is there anyone else who does french, i cant remember?

[Pencil]

Cher journal,

Tu ne croirais jamais ce qui vient de se passer. Grace ? ce dernier ? incident ? dans lequel ma soeur ?tait impliqu?e, mes parents ont pris la d?cision de d?m?nager ? la campagne ! Non, je rigole pas ! Selon eux, tout est pr?venu, et on quittera la ville pour la campagne la semaine prochaine. J?arrive pas ? comprendre comment ils peuvent prendre une telle d?cision sans m?me prendre en compte mon point de vue. C?est pas juste, ?a c?est s?r !

C?est toujours ma soeur qui me ruine la vie. Cette fois elle ?tait expuls?e de l??cole.. Apparamment, elle a trich? ? plusieurs examens. Mes parents disent que la campagne est plus calme, et qu?il faut qu?on soit dans un environnement o? ma s?ur n?a pas la tentation de se conduire mal. Ce serait sympa pour eux de penser ? moi pour une fois ! On s?attend que je quitte tous mes amis, un lyc?e que j?adore, m?me mon copain, uniquement ? cause d?elle ? Moi, je serais pas capable de survivre ? la campagne ! Je suis quelqu?un qui aime la mode, faire des boutiques, sortir le soir.. c?est m?me pas possible de faire ces choses ? la campagne !

J?en ai vraiment marre.. Je me demande s?il y a une fa?on dont je peux faire changer d?avis mes parents. Je suis pas pr?par?e ? sacrifier tout sans combattre. En fait, je vais leur en parler maintenant. S?rement, ils verront que c?est injuste ? Enfin, j?esp?re.

Je te tiendrai au courant.
Bises,
Am?lie
------------------

voila! correct away! and any comments and such. im sure iv missed some accents to i was going through adding them all at the end ha

ps. i stole your "je te tiendrai au courant" hahaha i tried to think of a replacement but i really couldnt

Too good.  I read it like three times, and could only find one missing accent, which you've already corrected    I can find nothing else!  Haha I don't think I'm capable of correcting your work, I think you need Talitha or someone if she returns..

And you put in everything, as in a 'dont' a 'dans lequel' a subjunctive, all the tenses..

umm.. haha my feedback sucks hey. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful. But I'm sure it would get full marks

[melanie.dee]

ha yeh i read over it again and picked up some missing accents hahah. unfortunately i always miss some on exams sacs etc and i dont have enough time to keep reading through it to pick them up! and yeh i always get so excited when i have an oppurtunity to put dont or something in, sometimes i have trouble finding a place to put it in lol. yours uses just as much complicated structure and subjunctives too tho. its seriously really good

i reckon yours would get full marks or at leeast 14/15, for the sophisticated way you write and the complicated vocab, despite the few minors mistakes. we're not expected to be perfect.

we really should check whether you need to put the 'ne'. how much would that suck if they thought you didnt no what you were doing and took off like 5 marks ha. although i suppose thats pretty unlikely, but its possible that you're not supposed to do it.

anywhere where is talitha? come correct my work please ha

[Pencil]

ha yeh i read over it again and picked up some missing accents hahah. unfortunately i always miss some on exams sacs etc and i dont have enough time to keep reading through it to pick them up! and yeh i always get so excited when i have an oppurtunity to put dont or something in, sometimes i have trouble finding a place to put it in lol.

haha you are lucky if all you miss is accents! The examiners probably won't even realise.
My teacher told my to deliberately put stuff like 'dont' in, is that what everyone does?

Why does noone ever write on the french forums?!

Your turn reg

[melanie.dee]

um i doubt everyone does it, so its probably a good way to differentiate yourself.. although obviously there will be other teachers saying put that stuff in too haha. meh who knows

and nah i miss more than accents obviously lol, just accents a LOT lol i actually have no idea with accents haha

i really wish there were more french people. im trying to think if there were others that posted in the bos french thread?

[Pencil]

i really wish there were more french people. im trying to think if there were others that posted in the bos french thread?

Yeah but a lot of them were hsc'ers. And then there were some who did french but never posted in the french thread. Hopefully some more will come once the exam is closer, that seemed to happen for english

[rustic_metal]

Le poubelle est dans le pulv?risation nasale.