I like both of those ideas however I have written the entire story which I am happy with - it's just the paragraph of him actually telling his mother the truth that I feel is not as good as the rest of the essay. I just don't know how to structure that conversation. They've come home from the lake, he's swept up the leaves, she's asked him to stay for dinner and my mind is just BLANK! So I feel like I can't introduce gears or butterfly as a stand alone metaphor. But I will have a look with those ideas in mind to see if it could work. Any further comments gratefully received. Thank you very much. PS What is a Premiers Award? I mean, I know what it is, but do you get a certificate or a million bucks or a gold cup? Fascinated
Awesome that's great to hear
If that's the case, gears is probably not suitable as you mentioned, maybe the 'butterfly' could work in a sentence or two to reflect the character's inner thoughts of wanting to 'transform'. Just as an idea, maybe a metaphor/motif of fire could work (since this is very typical of Cate Kennedy's writing) - for example, when he is telling his mother, there could be a deep fire burning within him (symbolising either fear, anxiety, anger etc any suitable emotion), and then this fire results in rejuvenation or a new mindset (sounds a bit counterintuitive, but if you think about bushfires, these large fires are what result in a new wave of growth of plants), so fire could also be used as a symbol for the growth of a new mindset by committing to a hard decision
Also the title of the book as 'fire' in it
PS: Premier's award is just a piece of paper haha