Help! I drastically need to improve my essay writing!

[stonecold]

Okay, so I don't know why it is, but I really suck at writing anything that has to sound formal.
SO I am in big trouble for English Language and Language Analysis + Text Response in normal English.

I think these are my major problems:
-Vocabulary, how do improve it in my writing?  I always use the wrong words and it brings down the level of formality.  It really annoys me because when I read someone else's work who has done it properly, I just wonder why I can't write like that.  It's not like they are using words which I don't know or understand, but good words just never seem to come to me when I am writing essays.
-Sentence structure.  I can drag out sentences for ages, and it just sounds shit.
-Giving examples.  Again, I can't keep it short.  Every time I give an example it drags out really long and practically becomes a story in itself.
-Tense is probably another area where I struggle.  I keep on falling back and forth between present and past tense.

Everyone says to just write more essays and I will get better, but it's not working.  I can't get the basics right.  How do I improve?
Once upon a time my writing was actually very good and my work get used for class examples and was displayed at school open days.  A few years later where I didn't really work on it because I had bad teachers and it's really gone backwards.

I got a 27 on the English component for the GAT last year which is very disappointing.  Just basic stuff like presenting information on a chart in writing is something I obviously struggled with.

I think the main problem with my writing is that it just isn't formal enough.  I think the reason behind it is because I have a tendency to write how I would talk, which is plain wrong.  I don't know how to fix it, and I am starting to run out of time.

Any suggestions would be much appreciated.

[naved_s9994]

Look, If you know the content, and know the vocab - then its only an issue of collectively applying the techniques..
Practice, and write essays "actively". Pm me, for in depth..if you really need.

[Albeno69]

Look, If you know the content, and know the vocab - then its only an issue of collectively applying the techniques..
Practice, and write essays "actively". Pm me, for in depth..if you really need.

yea i have a similar problem i cant write i know the content but i just cant get it onto paper in a way that will give me a good mark.

[stonecold]

The content is not the problem.  I could get up in front of the class and talk without any troubles.  It's putting it onto paper where everything breaks down.

[Albeno69]

The content is not the problem.  I could get up in front of the class and talk without any troubles.  It's putting it onto paper where everything breaks down.

yea and writing because i struggle to write in a fluent and coherent manner.

[akira88]

I have the same problem also! It's really frustrating, I can't articulate anything- but I have my ideas, I just can't put them together into words and make it flow. Sigh
Don't worry about what you got for your GAT component, don't think it means much. I got 42 on it but it proves nothing -.-

[stonecold]

Wow, 42 on GAT is awesome.  You will do well, plus you've already done Lit. 

I've been doing some number crunching, and as long as I get 45+ in any two of chem, methods or bio, I will be okay and can still get an ENTER of at least 97, even with an English score of 30.  Can't go any lower haha otherwise it is goodbye medicine. .

Just need to ace the UMAT (highly unlikely)  and everything will be swell!

[kyzoo]

Vocab - When you learn new vocab, don't just learn the definitions, but also find example sentences incorporating the vocab. Also, you can write essays with a vocab list (or thesaurus) next to you.

Sentence structure - Use a variety of sentence structures from short single-clause ones to multiple-clause ones. Generally single clause sentences are used to express a simple observation, whilst multiple-clause ones are used to convey the differences between two or more similar or connected ideas.

Personally I don't have as much of a problem with expression as much as I do with writing speed.

[stonecold]

Personally I don't have as much of a problem with expression as much as I do with writing speed.

Personally I think the two go hand in hand.  If I could express myself more clearly I could just write instead of having to think everything through.

[EvangelionZeta]

Read a lot and write a lot.  Learning to write well really is in part practice - if you have more references and more application of the process yourself, you'll improve.

[Visionz]

Working on your expression... hmmm. Im not bad at expressing myself but I used to struggle. A couple of years of browsing forums and articles and everything else has helped a lot though. Its more conventional to hear about textbooks and novels improving a persons grasp of language but I guess im new age . Once in a while you'll see a phrase, passage or entire article thats written well. Appreciate the fluency in which its written and try to emulate, even regurgitate it in your own responses. Expand your horizons and youll open yourself up to more and more language. (Ill stop here before I start getting all philosophical and start to write something COMPLETELY incoherent)

When actually writing an essay..
Dont put pen to paper until youve planned your sentence or response. This is the easiest way to avoid waffling on and on. If you can summarise your idea in a single 10 word sentence then do so. Teachers appreciate this economy. If you dwell on an idea for too long you'll not only bore the reader, theyve got more chance of losing their train of thought and they'll mark you down if its a blatant attempt at eating into the word requirement without reason.
Practise fluency. You dont always need to use the biggest words to get your point across. Sometimes a 'big' word is more fitting though. If youre unsure about a word then dont use it.

[stonecold]

Thanks for the tips everyone.

I'm trying hard at improving.

I think I may have put my finger on something.
I believe I have a tendency to opt for verbs as opposed to nominalisations in my essay writing.
Resultantly, it sounds informal, as if it is being spoken and waffles on.

Are nominalisations the way to go when writing formal essays?

I was discussing it with my tutor and I think it may be the core of my essay writing woes.
Also, this link suggests that:

'Nominalisations are useful in academic writing because they convey an objective, impersonal tone.  Nominalisations can also make the text more concise because they can pack a great deal of information in a few words.'

http://www.ncl.ac.uk/students/wdc/learning/language/grammar/nominalisations.htm

This is exactly what I need out of my writing.  

Should I practise nominalisating my sentences and incorporate this into my writing?
Do other people around the forum prefer to use nominalisations when writing formal essays?

Feedback much appreciated.  Thanks.

[kyzoo]

I think you're being too pedantic with your prose. If you ask EZ, he'll probably say that he doesn't think about the little details of his prose at all, and focuses more on conveying his ideas.

As for the two sentence examples in the link you provided, I don't really understand this concept of nominalisation. The second sentence is better than the first one because it combines two closely related ideas (the cause and the effect) into one sentence.

Looking at prose from a "grammar professor" point of view isn't neccesarily beneficial.

[brightsky]

'Nominalisations are useful in academic writing because they convey an objective, impersonal tone.  Nominalisations can also make the text more concise because they can pack a great deal of information in a few words.'

Only when used properly, otherwise it can make your writing sound very contrived and/or oversophisticated, which is something you don't want.

[Visionz]

'Nominalisations are useful in academic writing because they convey an objective, impersonal tone.  Nominalisations can also make the text more concise because they can pack a great deal of information in a few words.'

Only when used properly, otherwise it can make your writing sound very contrived and/or oversophisticated, which is something you don't want.

Something both you and akirus seem to do a whole lot. No offence.