500 words on why you want to do unimaths..

[ninbam1k]

So like, I was applying for Melb Unimaths, and there was a requirement where you needed to write 500 words on why you would like to get into the course. I'm pretty stuck so any suggestions/advice/ help? 

THANKS IN ADVANCE
and I'm serious, I'll be really grateful if you help me

[vea]

ooo... Does anyone know if this is required for MUEP?

[TrueTears]

say why you love maths

[Chavi]

Ok. How about this: It's been in preparation for a long time, and I need someone with the testicular fortitude of Chuck Norris to send it to them (PS - is it over 500? My bad )


There are many problems with Melbourne University's goals. The one that's the most blatant, and the one that I will limit my discussion to, is related to its overt support of Comstockism. Please note that many of the conclusions I'm about to draw are based on cogent and virtually incontrovertible evidence provided by a set of people who have suffered immensely on account of Melbourne University. Like a lion after tasting the blood of human victims, Melbourne University will lead to the destruction of the human race. Even leaving aside the thorny matter of divining the varying proportion of Melbourne University's connivance, acquiescence, foreknowledge, exploitation, and incompetence in progressively narrowing the sphere of human freedom, we can state the following as an established fact: Melbourne University is the picture of the insane person on the street, babbling to a tree, a wall, or a cloud, which cannot and does not respond to its shell games. Let me move now from the abstract to the concrete. That is, let me give you a (mercifully) few examples of Melbourne University's outrageous ineptitude. For starters, its claim that embracing a system of oligarchism will make everything right with the world requires a willing suspension of disbelief, an ability to set logic aside and accept any preposterous notion that Melbourne University throws at us.

Maybe it's not fair to call Melbourne University's legatees "poxy" just because they legitimate irresponsibility, laziness, and infidelity, but remember that Melbourne University says that the world can be happy only when its Praetorian Guard is given full rein. I've seen more plausible things scrawled on the bathroom walls in elementary schools. Are we going to step back and let Melbourne University discourage us from expressing our blandishments in whatever way we damn well please? I can tell you this: I will be speaking out—every day and everywhere—to make sure that we do not. People have pointed out to me that all of the foregoing information has been served up as a necessary prelude to understanding the motive and force behind the current mad rush by Melbourne University and its dupes to drag everything that is truly great into the gutter, but I still can't help but think that Melbourne University's indiscretions are based on a denial of reality, on the substitution of a deliberately falsified picture of the world in place of reality. And this dishonesty, this refusal to admit the truth, will have some very serious consequences for all of us eventually.

It may be a bit gauche to mention this, but Melbourne University is not interested in what is true and what is false or in what is good and what is evil. In fact, those distinctions have no meaning to it whatsoever. The only thing that has any meaning to Melbourne University is serfism. Why? I hardly know. But I will stake the immortality of my soul that we are at a crossroads. One road leads into the light of a bright, shining future in which unregenerate utopians like Melbourne University are completely absent. The other road leads into the darkness of Jacobinism. The question, therefore, is: Who's driving the bus? Let me give you a hint: I want you to know that Melbourne University's jibes are worthy of a good flush down the toilet. Knowing, as they say, is half the battle. What remains is to convince wanton franions to stop supporting Melbourne University and tolerating its antics.

Again, I can definitely suggest how Melbourne University ought to behave. Ultimately, however, the burden of acting with moral rectitude lies with Melbourne University itself. Melbourne University truly believes that it is patriotic to divert our attention from serious issues. It is just such sinister, obnoxious megalomania, rotten egoism, and intellectual aberrancy that stirs Melbourne University to prevent me from sleeping soundly at night. I must admit that I've read only a small fraction of Melbourne University's writings. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I've read enough of Melbourne University's writings to know that no one has a higher opinion of Melbourne University than I, and I think Melbourne University is a bloodthirsty hoodlum. Already, some naive, cuckoo pamphleteers have begun to produce a large number of absolutely evil extravagancies, most pestilential indecencies, and, above all, the most contentious blasphemies against everything that I hold most sacred and most dear, and with terrifying and tragic results. What vituperations will follow from their camp is anyone's guess.

I recently heard a famous celebrity—I forgot which one—say, "We can and we must protect ourselves by any means necessary against the delirious bestiality of wild, ill-bred smut peddlers." That's such a great quote, I wish I had been the one who thought of it. Sadly, the cleverest thing I ever said was that Melbourne University should get a life and stay out of mine. So don't feed me any phony baloney about how the rules don't apply to it. That's just not true. To pick an obvious but often overlooked example, it takes more than a mass of feebleminded degenerates to improve the physical and spiritual quality of life for the population at present and for those yet to come. It takes a great many thoughtful and semi-thoughtful people who are willing to create greater public understanding of the damage caused by Melbourne University's beliefs.

Everybody loves a good game of hide-and-seek: find the person, find the hidden item, or, in Melbourne University's case, find the hidden agenda. It is painful to write such truisms, but Melbourne University's desire to create a world without history, without philosophy, without science, without reason—a world without beauty of any kind, without art, without literature, without culture—is the chief sign that it's a dissolute leech. (The second sign is that Melbourne University feels obliged to fan the flames of plagiarism into a planet-spanning inferno.) Melbourne University and its foot soldiers behave like a colony of culicidae decrying the occasional angry slap by those that have been stung by Melbourne University's wrongheaded, depraved claims. That's just a fancy way of saying that Melbourne University is inherently politically incorrect, ridiculous, and crude. Oh, and it also has a grungy mode of existence. If Melbourne University had done its homework, it'd know that it says that all literature that opposes mercantalism was forged by oligophrenic troglodytes. Hey, Melbourne University, how about telling us the truth for once?

Shame on Melbourne University for thinking that people like you and me are crafty! I am being entirely serious when I say that knowledge is the key that unlocks the shackles of bondage. That's why it's important for you to know that Melbourne University always looks the other way when one of its factotums gets it in his head to turn peaceful gatherings into embarrassing scandals. Apparently, the principle laid down by Jean-Marie Collot d'Herbois during the French Reign of Terror still holds true today: Tout est permis à quiconque agit dans le sens de la révolution. Melbourne University's perspective is that the purpose of life is self-gratification. My perspective, in contrast, is that this is not a question of antagonism or isolationism. Rather, it is a question about how if there's an untold story here, it's that Melbourne University's arguments would be a lot more effective if they were at least accurate or intelligent, not just a load of bull for the sake of being controversial. I support those who devote their life to education and activism. It is through their tireless efforts that people everywhere are learning that many people are worried that Melbourne University will exhibit a deep disdain for all people who are not self-serving nitwits one of these days. I don't like to speculate on uncertain things, but I will say that Melbourne University has been going around claiming that it is a martyr for freedom and a victim of officialism. When challenged about the veracity of that message, Melbourne University attributed its contradictions of the truth to "poetic license". That means "lying".

Look at what's happened since Melbourne University first ordered its myrmidons to coordinate a revolution: Views once considered purblind are now considered ordinary. Views once considered snarky are now considered perfectly normal. And the most treasonous of Melbourne University's views are now seen as gospel by legions of asinine blowhards.

This brings us to the dark underside of Melbourne University's manifestos, the side that's known to fracture family unity. Melbourne University's accusations promote a redistribution of wealth. This is always an appealing proposition for Melbourne University's accomplices because much of the redistributed wealth will undoubtedly end up in the hands of the redistributors as a condign reward for their loyalty to Melbourne University. What Melbourne University is doing is not an innocent, recreational sort of thing. It is a criminal activity, it is an immoral activity, it is a socially destructive activity, and it is a profoundly benighted activity. While I have no proof that one positive outcome of the Law of Unintended Consequences is that if we oppose Melbourne University and all it stands for then Melbourne University won't be able to extract obscene salaries and profits from corporations that use psychological tools to trick us into doing whatever it requires of us, you should still believe me, as most people want to be nice; they want to be polite; they don't want to give offense. And because of this inherent politeness, they step aside and let Melbourne University burn our fair cities to the ground.

Melbourne University intends to create a new social class. Libidinous nutters, unprofessional tightwads, and unconscionable ingrates will be given aristocratic status. The rest of us will be forced into serving as their cult followers. An ancient Greek once wrote something to the effect of, "Its plaints have grown into the world's greatest enslavers of human minds." Today, the same dictum applies, just as clearly as when it was first written over two thousand years ago. I am not concerned with rumors or hearsay about Melbourne University. I am interested only in ascertained facts attested by published documents and in these primarily as an illustration that Melbourne University is thoroughly inconsistent in its views. On one hand, Melbourne University insists that trees cause more pollution than automobiles do. But on the other hand, it favors turning swindlers loose against us good citizens. How much clearer do I have to explain things before you can see its hypocrisy? It is high time for people to wake up and speak out against Melbourne University's slatternly, loquacious invectives. May we never forget this if we are to deny Melbourne University and its followers a chance to promote, foster, and institute lexiphanicism.

[Edmund]

Complaint letter generator?

[Chavi]

Complaint letter generator?

[carolynt]

That's hilarious! Pun maths jargon into your essay!

[schnappy]

I wrote 3 lines. I see no reason why it should be a problem... I said what I wanted to say. I chose not to exasperate myself.

[kyzoo]

LOL I remember this. All I wrote was "I am interested in pursuing maths." siff you need 500 words man

[ninbam1k]

nah they made it 500 now T_T

[AzureBlue]

That's good, surely you can write 500 words about how wonderful maths is

[mystikal]

-gives u insight into the course u wanna do in future...
-transfer credits
-gives u the feel of doing a uni subject
-extra vce points
-a good challenge
-interest

[funkyducky]

It doesn't have to be 500 words, it can be UP TO 500. Mine's 80 words and I'm stuck for ideas.

[carolynt]

HAHA, wow that's hilarious.

There's no minimum?

[m@tty]

I'd just do a smily face. Lol, probably still get accepted.