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Author Topic: [English] "Don’t blame me, blame Julia Gillard" language analysis  (Read 1606 times)  Share 

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liuetenant

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Texts- Cosi, Interpreter of Maladies

Context- Encountering Conflict: the Crucible

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January essays:
Week 3: Language analysis
* Week 4: Language analysis
« Last Edit: March 31, 2011, 10:47:39 pm by ninwa »
2010: TNT (39)
2011: English (42) | Bio (39) | Chem (35) | Jap (35) | Methods (36)|

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liuetenant

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Re: liuetenant's thread-- January Week 3 Language Analysis
« Reply #1 on: January 26, 2011, 09:49:40 pm »
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January Week 3
Language Analysis: Don't Blame Me, Blame Julia Gillard--Bolt

Following the devastation that left a boat carrying 28 asylum seekers dead near the shores of Christmas island, fiery debate has arisen as to who should be held accountable. “Don’t Blame Me, Blame Julia Gillard” is an opinion piece, published in the Herald Sun on the ____, 2010, by Andrew Bolt, contends that not only should the Australian government be responsible for this incident, but further a review of its “softer” foreign laws should be made. In a predominately irate and condemning tone, the piece targets an audience concerned in politics and foreign affairs.

Bolt initiates the piece in placing the blame on the government by questioning “why” and “when”—terms that scrutinise their credibility in managing laws concerning foreign affairs. In doing so, scepticism is evoked within readers towards the seemingly reputable actions of the government. These feelings are furthermore multiplied, as Bolt pejoratively condemns them as “pious Leftists,” criticises their laws as “weak,” “soft” and “fatal” and stresses the extent of the damage: “just like up to 170 others…” “…men, women and—God rest them—children.” The emphasis on “God rest them—children” pushes upon the emotional heartstrings of the readers, particularly since children connote a sense of vulnerability and innocence. Henceforth, the juxtaposition of a grim government with such helplessness ignites a sense of anger towards the government for not taking responsibility for their actions and owning up to the crisis.

Furthering his stance in condemning the government, Bolt vehemently repeats: “they lie” to enhance scrutiny over the reliability of the government’s foreign laws. He also reiterates “it’s never been the right time” to assert feelings of being deceived by the government; thus, in effect, readers are exposed to the prospect that the government is deliberately eluding from the truth that it is “their compassionate politics…that have caused such suffering.” Indeed, Bolt makes it clear that the “sugar” that is their policies is what “lured people on to sinking boats” which overall establishes a sense of an iniquitous and seemingly immoral act on the government’s part. As a result, disapproval and fury further compounds upon the emotions that readers have previously been set with which may force them to consider that such heartless deeds should indeed be the government’s fault.

Moreover, Bolt accompanies his piece with a visual image of the asylum seeker boat as it “smashed into the rocks of Christmas Island.” Such vivid imagery paints for the readers the solemn, stark and grave state the passengers would have faced in their travel towards Australia. The simple placement of the boat in the centre of the image, engulfed by the waves, connotes a sense of isolation and danger. In addition, Bolt exemplifies that the government nevertheless shies away from the fact that “the boats were back—soaring from three a year over the previous six years, to almost 200 this year alone.” As a result, readers may be irate towards and disgraced by the government for “luring” them out into the sea to such a disaster and, at the same time, incapable of admitting to the wrongdoings of their policies.

Overall, Bolt’s opinion piece relies heavily on dysphemistic terms that condemn the acts of the government to generate fury and anger from his readers. Similarly, the coupling of a visual with his piece adds to the perception that it is the government’s policies that allowed such a tragedy to exist. From such language use, the author illuminates to his readers that it is indeed Gillard and her Labour government that should be held accountable for the many deaths of asylum seekers coming to Australia.  



« Last Edit: January 26, 2011, 09:53:17 pm by liuetenant »
2010: TNT (39)
2011: English (42) | Bio (39) | Chem (35) | Jap (35) | Methods (36)|

ATAR: 95.50 ( i actually got my prediction! :D)

Ghost!

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Re: Liuetenant's thread--January Week 3 Language Analysis*
« Reply #2 on: January 26, 2011, 09:58:46 pm »
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Liuetenant :)

Just a few things I picked up skimming through.

- You've got a very good vernacular, I'm really impressed with your choice in lexicon.
- Length is an issue with this article, you had some good points but didn't dive deep enough with your writing, 598 words is just too short.
- A mistake that I've made a few others have, try to use full names when making reference to people excluding the writer ie; Julia Gillard instead of just Gillard.
- A very good conclusion, very impressive. If you had have extended your writing more you could push for an 8, but because of size I'd say anywhere from a 5.5 to a 6.5
2011 - English, English Language, Philosophy, Indonesian SL, Outdoor and Environmental Studies.

“We are all alone, born alone, die alone, we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely -- at least, not all the time -- but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don't see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.”
― Hunter S. Thompson

Water

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Re: Liuetenant's thread--January Week 3 Language Analysis*
« Reply #3 on: January 26, 2011, 10:27:30 pm »
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I found this piece to be very well written. The piece as a whole was fluent, the author knew what the effects were, though he could've established it more clearly. For instance, you added quotes with evidence, however did not mention its technique. A big waste of a pot of gold. However, your effects were concise, short, and straight to the point. Its what I look for in essays, they are simple, yet not overly peppered with vocab however still remain to be sophisticated.

Given that my above poster said it was 598 words, and If I was given to mark it, in a year 11 exam, I would've been very pleased with the essay, easily passing through as a 8 - 9.

Though as we have all had the luxury of the time, the overall score is between 7, and easily an 8, if redrafted. There is just so much potential, that I would love to see it written in greater length. liutenant my man, this is a diamond in the making! Excellent effort, into the year!  
« Last Edit: January 26, 2011, 10:34:57 pm by Water »
About Philosophy

When I see a youth thus engaged,—the study appears to me to be in character, and becoming a man of liberal education, and him who neglects philosophy I regard as an inferior man, who will never aspire to anything great or noble. But if I see him continuing the study in later life, and not leaving off, I should like to beat him - Callicle

ellecee

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Re: Liuetenant's thread--January Week 3 Language Analysis
« Reply #4 on: January 28, 2011, 07:00:13 pm »
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I've never marked anyone else's work so I'm not sure how much help I'll be. However, I think this piece is very well written. You've captured the main points and described the intended effects on the audience of the various techniques employed by Bolt. You've also got a good grasp on vocab and the whole piece seems to flow very smoothly.