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March 29, 2024, 11:22:41 pm

Author Topic: A poem about english  (Read 1068 times)  Share 

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/0

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A poem about english
« on: December 03, 2009, 05:29:52 pm »
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A nice poem I found :P



There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

kamil9876

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Re: A poem about english
« Reply #1 on: December 03, 2009, 05:32:24 pm »
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Quote
Boxing rings are square

Are they commutative though?  :coolsmiley:
Voltaire: "There is an astonishing imagination even in the science of mathematics ... We repeat, there is far more imagination in the head of Archimedes than in that of Homer."

periwinkle

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Re: A poem about english
« Reply #2 on: December 03, 2009, 05:38:25 pm »
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     noses run/feet smell

zzdfa

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Re: A poem about english
« Reply #3 on: December 03, 2009, 05:47:05 pm »
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Quote
Boxing rings are square

Are they commutative though?  :coolsmiley:

/groan


thread hijack:


Tis a most indisputable fact
If you want to make something compact
Make it bounded and closed
For you're totally hosed
If either condition you lack.
Lest the reader infer an untruth
(Which I think would be highly uncouth)
I must hasten to add
There are sets to be had
Where the converse is false, fo'sooth.

Karla Westfahl


A coffee cup feeling quite dazed,
said to a donut, amazed,
an open surjective continuous injection,
You'd be plastic and I'd be glazed.

Norah Esty


If a clopen set can be detected,
Your metric space is disconnected.

David Owens

Gloamglozer

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Re: A poem about english
« Reply #4 on: December 03, 2009, 06:45:02 pm »
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lol  Great find /0.  :D

Bachelor of Science (Mathematics & Statistics) - Discrete Mathematics & Operations Research

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Re: A poem about english
« Reply #5 on: December 15, 2009, 05:40:57 pm »
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Here is one for you,
If "-ing" is a doing word and "-ed" is a word I've already done, then shouldn't it be I'm boring not I'm bored.

kyzoo

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Re: A poem about english
« Reply #6 on: December 20, 2009, 01:14:31 am »
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Omg no wonder my grandparents find it so hard to learn English
2009
~ Methods (Non-CAS) [48 --> 49.4]

2010
~ Spesh [50 --> 51.6]
~ Physics [50 --> 50]
~ Chem [43 --> 46.5]
~ English [46 --> 46.2]
~ UMEP Maths [5.0]

2010 ATAR: 99.90
Aggregate 206.8

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