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April 17, 2024, 02:24:03 am
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Author Topic: Jokes thread  (Read 427175 times)  Share 

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Yertle the Turtle

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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #1305 on: January 14, 2018, 12:10:33 am »
+5
Just heard this awesome one from my grandpa:

After being married for 30 years a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her for a little while then said "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."
She asked "What does that mean?"
He replied "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, and Humble."
The wife smiled happily and said, "Oh., that's so lovely, but what about the I, J, and K?"
"I'm just kidding", he said.
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RuiAce

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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #1306 on: January 14, 2018, 12:33:25 am »
+7
Quote from: Marvin K. Mooney on January 14, 2018, 12:10:33 am
Just heard this awesome one from my grandpa:

After being married for 30 years a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her for a little while then said "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."
She asked "What does that mean?"
He replied "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, and Humble."
The wife smiled happily and said, "Oh., that's so lovely, but what about the I, J, and K?"
"I'm just kidding", he said.
Um.. woah O.o
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RuiAce

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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #1307 on: January 26, 2018, 04:02:41 pm »
+8
Ay you. Wanna hear a joke about gold?

Au
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Yertle the Turtle

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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #1308 on: February 13, 2018, 10:13:34 am »
+3
Anyone like Irish jokes?

An Irish gardener was raking leaves, when he tripped and fell out of the tree.

The Irish dilemna:
Potatoes, do you eat 'em, or ferment 'em?
:P
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jborn007

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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #1309 on: July 03, 2018, 06:27:16 pm »
+5
Q: What do you call James Bond before he shaves?
A: Stubble-0-7
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S200

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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #1310 on: July 06, 2018, 11:10:36 am »
+2
What issue do the Brazilians face when they send Neymar to the Olympics?

He goes to play soccer, but comes home with the Olympic diving medal.
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Carpe Vinum

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RuiAce

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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #1311 on: July 12, 2018, 09:42:01 pm »
+9
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sweetiepi

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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #1312 on: August 03, 2018, 11:12:24 am »
+9
There's 10 types of people in this world- those who understand binary, and those who don't. :D
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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #1313 on: August 03, 2018, 04:29:56 pm »
+2
There would be a few more, but hexadecimal got them... ;)
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Bells_123

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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #1314 on: August 05, 2018, 01:07:17 am »
+9
Coffee has a rough time in our house. It gets mugged every morning.
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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #1315 on: August 05, 2018, 06:50:14 am »
+11
Why is 0 = 1?

.


Cos 0 = 1
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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #1316 on: October 08, 2018, 10:15:56 am »
+7
From my compchem lecturer:
"On the weekend I discovered that I couldn't spell Armageddon. Turns out it isn't the end of the world."
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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #1317 on: October 08, 2018, 08:15:31 pm »
+1
Not a joke in the usual sense, but my favorite cartoon from Cyanide and Happiness... :D

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RuiAce

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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #1318 on: December 27, 2018, 11:54:47 pm »
+8
I try to tell chemistry jokes periodically but all the good ones argon, so...

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: Because they're cheaper than day rates.

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
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aspiringantelope

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Re: Jokes thread
« Reply #1319 on: December 28, 2018, 09:33:14 am »
+5
Quote from: RuiAce on December 27, 2018, 11:54:47 pm
I try to tell chemistry jokes periodically but all the good ones argon, so...

Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: Because they're cheaper than day rates.

Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."
Helium doesn't react.
I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
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