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Author Topic: English Language essay submission and marking  (Read 223102 times)  Share 

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lzxnl

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Re: One of my own (admittedly rather poor) essays
« Reply #30 on: October 10, 2013, 10:12:53 pm »
0
I'm not sure actually...could have been either.

Look at my second essay as well? I think this essay is worse; online language is something I'm even more unfamiliar with.
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Re: One of my own (admittedly rather poor) essays
« Reply #31 on: October 10, 2013, 10:58:46 pm »
+4
Informal language has a variety of functions in Australian society. What do you see as some of the crucial roles of informal language in contemporary Australia?
   In Australian society, informal language is a very important language variety that serves a diversity ( diversity ..just doesnt sound right. of useful social roles. Colloquial Australian English exhibits various aspects of Australian culture, promoting national identity, while informal language can also promote group identities and enhance expression.  Good , clear outlining of arguments Therefore, the variety of functions displayed by informal Australian English makes it an indispensable tool of communication.Good
   
Colloquial Australian English promotes national identity through its close adherence to Australian cultural values. I think you should say something in here , just a general sentence. It seems like your jumping straight into discussing metalang. Diminutives, for example, reduce social distance and exhibit the nationally recognised Australian value of being laid-back. This is seen in the difference between “I’m having a barbeque at my house this afternoon” and “I’m havin’ a barbie at my house this arvo” in register and formality; the latter sounds distinctly friendlier and more relaxed, reduces social distance and creates covert prestige amongst the speakers, common features of informal language in general. Could reduce sentence length here Likewise, affectionate nicknames like “Richo” for football player Matthew Richardson, “Warnie” for Shane Warne in the media and names like “Jonno”, “Gordo” and “Stevo” between friends also help to reduce social distance and exemplify the laid-back character of Australian culture. Equally, Australian English has various lexical items that reflect Australian identity. Terms like “g’day” and “mate” have been ingrained in Australian as representing mateship, a cornerstone of Australian culture to the point that outrage has erupted over the replacement of these with the American “hey” and “buddy”.Good This is also reflected by Richard Castle’s comment that “through its culturally ingrained connotations of egalitarianism and mutual respect, ‘mate’ suggests an openness, at least a relationship of equal”, explaining the intrinsic importance of this lexeme. Another feature is swearing. According to Kate Burridge, the “Great Australian adjective” ‘bloody’ has “now become an important indicator of Australianness and of cultural values” like “friendliness, informality, laid-backness and mateship”. Evidently, swearing in Australia is not as strongly taboo as in other countries, reflected by the positive reception of the TAC “bloody idiot” and “don’t be a dickhead” campaigns and the Toyota “bugger” ad campaign. Such positive public reception demonstrates that Australians have accepted swearing as characterising Australian culture, showing how Australian informal English reflects national identity.
 
 Informal language can also promote group identities. Clear, topic sentence! Slang, as an ephemeral, informal variety of language, allows the younger generation to separate themselves from the old by outdating older slang terms like “ace”, “rad” and “blood” with “sick”, “boss” and “bro”, immediately allowing the younger generation to create their own identity. It can also allow individual groups to separate themselves from each other. Ok , bit confused here. You talk about the young generation, but then you say something about individual groups, you have examples for language for young people. There are a vast number of slang synonyms for “good”, like “amaze-balls”, “sick”, “rock” and “boss” and numerous ones for “bad”, like “cruddy”, “crap”, “bogus” and “skank”. Maybe try to find more contemporary examples! A group can signal its identity by the common adoption of particular slang expressions for good and bad, which strengthens the cohesive ties within that group. This is also seen on a professional level. In Australian hospitals, hospital staff have been known to speak of “FLK” for “funny looking kid”, “cactus” for “death”, “vegetable” for “comatose patients” and “crumbles” for the frail and elderly. Such irreverence for human life allows the staff to cope with the reality of their jobs, identifies dealing with these patients on a daily basis as routine and identifies shared experiences and jobs, which strengthens group identity, reduces social distance and improves the friendliness of the work environment. Sentence is too long. Thus, informal language is important for signalling group identity. Try to use synonyms of “important” .
 
 Furthermore, informal language has an additional function in enhancing expression. It allows people to communicate concepts and ideas much more concisely than in Standard English. This is done by the various creative word formation processes available to slang. Blends and compounding allow the resulting concoctions to possess semantic properties of the words used to create them. For instance, “bootylicious”, a combination of “booty” and “delicious” to suggest physical attractiveness; “vomatose” as a blend of comatose” and “vomit” to mean disgusting; “tree hugger” as a compound to describe environmentalists and “couch potato” as a compound to pejoratively describe a physically lazy person, all increase the expressive capability of the English language by creating new phrases with different semantic properties. I think this sentence is way too long. Also, swearing can provide a large variety of meanings as well. The word “f***” can be used as an expletive of frustration; as a verb describing coitus; to describe ruining like “f up”; to describe indifference like in “f that shit”; in the form “f-ing” as an intensifier like “f-ing awesome” or as a dysphemistic insult like “f-ing idiot”’; the actual meaning of f*** depends on context. This one too. But the ideas are great! Clearly, informal language broadens the available linguistic resources to speakers, allowing more complex situations to be described concisely.
   
Informal language has many uses, from creating national identity to acting as the “masonic mortar to stick members together” according to Burridge and broadening the language’s expressive capability. GoodThus, its varied uses make informal language a ubiquitous and essential tool of communication to maintain social harmony.

Overall.... This essay is really good! :) Well done ! Some really great ideas, and you discussed them really well!
Shall be putting some essays up soon!

Hope this helps!
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Scooby

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Can someone have a look at this Eng Lang essay?
« Reply #32 on: October 10, 2013, 11:28:29 pm »
+1
Can someone have a look at this one? Thanks :)

Spoiler
How is Australian English changing to reflect the evolving identity of Australians in the twenty-first century? Discuss at least two of the subsystems in your response.

Australian English has undergone a number of changes in recent decades. Globalisation of language, which has resulted from the development of a wide range of technologies, has resulted in the incorporation into Australian English of a number of Americanisms. In addition, the linguistic diversity of Australia has been enhanced by the migration into the country of a large number of individuals, all of whom bring to the country a myriad of values and beliefs that have been instilled in their language. The Australian accent has also evolved dramatically since British colonisation, and this is reflective of the changing values of Australian society.

The globalisation of language has been facilitated by the development of a wide range of technologies within recent decades. This most markedly includes social media websites, such as Facebook and Twitter, which allow exchange of linguistic features to occur between different parts of the world very readily. It is believed by many Australians that, as a consequence of this rapid technological development, Americanisms have infiltrated the nation’s language. Many Australians are apprehensive about a loss of national identity that could result from this invasion of their lexicon. These individuals are perhaps concerned that American English may eventually become the most prevalent English spoken in Australia; concerned that the values instilled in Australian English may eventually be completely subsumed by those associated with American English. Despite these fears, very few Americanisms have integrated into Australian English, and those that have include only a select few lexical items, including “buddy”. The likelihood that a few lexical items from American English could completely destroy the Australian identity is very unlikely. The apprehension of Australian speakers towards Americanisms is unfounded, and even if dramatic changes were to occur in the future, this is not necessarily a bad thing. English, after all, is the result of the mixture of a number of different European languages. Incorporation of additional Americanisms into Australian English, perhaps including some syntactic features, would merely add an additional layer to the Australian identity. After all, these Americanisms were accepted by choice; they were not forced upon Australian speakers against their will. 

According to Hugh Lunn, if you lose your language, “you lose your personality, your character and who you are.” Ethnolects allow those who migrate into Australia from non-English speaking backgrounds to preserve the cultural values of their previous country. This widespread presence of a variety of different ethnolects in Australia is indicative of the nation’s multiculturalism. In addition, migrants from foreign countries may also preserve their cultural heritage through the use of some unique paralinguistic features. Despite this, it often hinders assimilation into the Australian culture. Migrants from Asia tend to make minimal eye contact during conversations, given that in most Asian nations it is considered polite. However, the opposite is true in most Western nations. The use of such a paralinguistic feature by an Asian migrant may be affronting to an Australian, and may result in the perpetuation of unjust prejudices, such as that “Asian people cannot be trusted”. Therefore, while the use of ethnolects and other features derived from a migrant’s original language may allow the preservation of culture, it may also hinder assimilation into Australian society.

The Australian accent has undergone dramatic changes since colonisation of Australia by the British. Initially, Australian English was simply a mongrel of many different British dialects. Soon after, these Australians distinguished their identity from that of the British by constructing their own distinctive language. The cultivated accent was used by the socially elite to demonstrate their power in society and command respect from others. However, in modern Australia, there has been a trend away from the cultivated accent. The current attitudes and beliefs of Australian speakers do not meld with the arrogance exuded by the cultivated accent, and according to linguist Kate Burridge, “one often encounters hostile or amused reactions to the cultivated accent.” As a result, the prevalence of the general accent, which combines the egalitarianism and friendliness instilled in the broad accent with the high levels of education indicated by the cultivated accent, has increased. Nevertheless, Australia’s speakers remain linguistically diverse, with geographical location a main determinant of the accent used. Individuals living in rural areas are far more likely to adopt a broad accent, which is perhaps correlated with the lower levels of education received by most rurally-located individuals. In addition, there is continued borrowing of lexical items from Indigenous languages. “Hard yakka” is a distinctively Australian phrase originally derived in such a manner.

The Australian identity is represented in English used by its citizens. The introduction of Americanisms into Australian English, which has resulted from rapid technological development in recent decades, has elicited great apprehension from many of these citizens. Nevertheless, currently, the Americanisms evident in the language of Australians are purely lexical. The multiculturalism of Australia is enhanced by the presence of a wide range of different ethnolects. These ethnolects, among other linguistic features, allow migrants to maintain the cultural identity of their previous country, but at times may hinder their assimilation into Australian society. In addition, the accent of Australian speakers has undergone a number of changes since colonisation of the country by the British, and this is indicative of the predominating attitudes held by society. The Australian identity is powerfully reinforced by the language spoken by its citizens.

And yeah, be harsh (I feel at times I was just telling a story rather than analysing anything)
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joey7

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Re: English Language submission and marking
« Reply #33 on: October 10, 2013, 11:37:58 pm »
0
Hey guys, very much appreciate any feedback on this essay, be as harsh as you like.

Spoiler
           
"'Your use of language sends out lots of little messages, not just about your level of education and where you come from, but about how you would like to be perceived"

Our language is the means through which we communicate with one another. However, above and beyond this communicational function, language shapes the way we are perceived. Through idiosyncrasies in the way that we use language aspects such as educational level, geographic location, socio-economic status and the groups to which we belong may be inferred. Therefore in order to create particular identities, people vary their language at different times and in different contexts to portray characteristics they see as desirable. This is evidenced through the broad to general continuum of Australian accents correlation with education, status and Australian qualities, the increased use of ethnolect’s in establishing a unique identity and the informal, ephemeral slang and jargon employed by our younger generations.
     One of the most striking features of an individual’s speech is their accent. Many Australians, particularly from regional areas are clearly identifiable by striking phonological features such as drawn out vowels, long single vowels /a:/ and the use of diphthongs in place of monophthongs; resulting in words like “mate” sounding like “mite” . These Broad Australian features associated with low education and socio-economic status are employed as they portray salient Australian values such as informality and anti-intellectualism. No longer is a cultivated accent depicting high education and wealth desirable, with linguists suggesting that people deliberately choose low status accents in order to invoke prestige. This was evidenced in John Howard’s success throughout his terms as Prime Minster in using a Broad Australian accent to portray a down-to-earth identity, but interestingly however not reflected in Julia Gillard’s terms as Prime Minister with her Australian accent harshly criticised, suggesting care-free anti-intellectual qualities are not seen as acceptable coming from a female. As well as this a person will modify the severity of their accent according to the extent to which they wish to assert their identity. For example a person who speaks with a General Australian accent may use some broad features when conversing with Australians with this accent to signpost Australian identity in an attempt to fit in. As seen people are able to portray an identity highlighting low-education, anti-intellectualism and egalitarianism through phonological features of their speech.
      In a similar way, the accent and lexis of multicultural Australia shows how language may be used to convey identity. As immigrants integrate into society and adopt English as a language, most look for ways in which they can accentuate their origins, with many of them doing this through language. One such example is the Italian/Greek/Lebanese communities accent/variety described as “wog-speak”. Characterised by pronunciations resulting in words such as “measure” rhyming with the word “bar” and borrowings from original language for instance “habib” “uleh” and repeated use of lexemes such as “brah”  this variety clearly signposts the geographical origins of the speakers who use it. This ethnolect is seen in TV shows such as “Fat Pizza” and is particularly prevalent among youth, with evidence of spread even beyond people with a European background. Indeed through language variations Identity is demonstrated and maintained.
     One of the most prominent linguistic talking points of contemporary Australia is the slang and jargon characterising the speech of younger generations. Influenced by technology and social media, the lexis of young Australian’s serve to identify its speakers and at the same time exclude speakers who do not use “correct” or “current” terminology. Examples of this jargon and slang is seen in the Australian TV series Summer Heights High where Chris Lilley effectively captures the language of a teenage boy using phrases such as “homo” “ranga” “shit” “motherfucker” and a teenage girl using expressions such as “oh my god” “povo” “random” “like”. The transient nature of this slang however, has even seen some of these terms become obsolete and it is for this very reason that the variety acts as such a successful group marker as older people who try to pick up the lingo are caught using old phrases and come across as daggy or lame. As such through slang and jargon our younger generations have a functioning system through which they are able to portray an identity as a young person.
     The language we use is a main ingredient of the image which we project into the world around us. As seen through phonological and lexical features of our speech we are able to portray, our level of education, geographical origins and qualities we feel are most important and through the slang and jargon we use the generation to which we belong.
 
     

Wu

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Re: One of my own (admittedly rather poor) essays
« Reply #34 on: October 11, 2013, 05:26:11 pm »
+1
Just a few quick suggestions:

- You quote people, mention their names but fail to explain why they're important.
"This is also reflected by Richard Castle’s comment that “through its culturally ingrained connotations of egalitarianism and mutual respect, ‘mate’ suggests an openness, at least a relationship of equal”"
"This is also reflected by Bobby McKFCmcdonaldshungryjacks’s comment that “through its culturally ingrained connotations of egalitarianism and mutual respect, ‘mate’ suggests an openness, at least a relationship of equal”"
There's not much point mentioning the name of your source of quote if you don't state whether they are a linguist, someone in the media, an author, a publisher or someone whose perceptions are even important in the literary world.

- Don't use colloquialisms and slang in your essay. Keep it in a highly formal register
- You list many examples yet they aren't effective if you don't explain them more -- try and link them back to attitudes and the functions of their existence
- Try and quickly slip in what word process is used in your examples (such as "the diminutive form of Robert, "Robbo")

[edit]
Righty-o. I have just finished reading your second essay and have a few things to add.

incydk, or in case you didn’t know
You had me stumped for a few good minutes here. Please don't use such jokes in a formal essay-- if the examiner can't understand what you're writing then they'll just skip to the next comprehensible part. If you really want to integrate it in then I suggest you somehow formulate it in brackets or present it so that your joke is clearer. Something along the lines of "meaning “Thank God it’s Friday”, incydk, or "in case you didn’t know"". Eh.
Another thing I must suggest is that you place brackets after each of your examples to translate it. For example, ""u" (you), "thx" (thanks)" is much more clearer than your clunky "“u” for “you”, “thx” for “thanks”" while also saving words. No one wants to read half a paragraph of examples with no substance to back it up.

Sorry if I seem very critical of your work-- what you've done is great but there is never perfection in English. I'll put some of my stuff up after which you can point as many fingers at as you can.
« Last Edit: October 11, 2013, 05:36:57 pm by Wu »
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lzxnl

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Re: Can someone have a look at this Eng Lang essay?
« Reply #35 on: October 11, 2013, 05:28:17 pm »
+5
How is Australian English changing to reflect the evolving identity of Australians in the twenty-first century? Discuss at least two of the subsystems in your response.

Australian English has undergone a number of changes in recent decades. Globalisation of language, which has resulted from the development of a wide range of technologies, has resulted in the incorporation into Australian English of a number of Americanisms. In addition, the linguistic diversity of Australia has been enhanced by the migration into the country of a large number of individuals Slightly unusual phrasing, all of whom bring to the country a myriad of values and beliefs that have been instilled in their language plural?. The Australian accent has also evolved dramatically since British colonisation that is a LOOOOONG time ago..., and this is reflective of the changing values of Australian society.

The globalisation of language has been facilitated by the development of a wide range of technologies within recent decades. This most markedly includes social media websites, such as Facebook and Twitter, which allow exchange of linguistic features reads weirdly to me for some reason to occur between different parts of the world very readily. It is believed by many Australians that, as a consequence of this rapid technological development, Americanisms have infiltrated the nation’s language. Many Australians are apprehensive about a loss of national identity that could result from this invasion of their lexicon. These individuals are perhaps concerned that American English may eventually become the most prevalent English spoken in Australia; concerned that the values instilled in Australian English may eventually be completely subsumed by those associated with American English. Maybe some concrete examples of what makes them fear this "American invasion"? Despite these fears, very few Americanisms have integrated into Australian English, and those that have include only a select few lexical items, including “buddy”. The likelihood that a few lexical items from American English could completely destroy the Australian identity is very unlikely. The apprehension of Australian speakers towards Americanisms is unfoundedI do feel as if you need a bit more content in this paragraph; one example is really not enough. Try and find a concrete example where people are worried about the replacement of the Australian identity?, and even if dramatic changes were to occur in the future, this is not necessarily a bad thing. English, after all, is the result of the mixture of a number of different European languages. Incorporation of additional Americanisms into Australian English, perhaps including some syntactic features, would merely add an additional layer to the Australian identity. OK, so show this. It seems to me that you've just stated this without proof. I find it entirely possible that incorporation of additional Americanisms, by virtue of America's global dominance, may swallow the Australian identity After all, these Americanisms were accepted by choice; they were not forced upon Australian speakers against their will. Perhaps link to topic?

According to Hugh Lunn, if you lose your language, “you lose your personality, your character and who you are.” Ethnolects allow those who migrate into Australia from non-English speaking backgrounds to preserve the cultural values of their previous country. and thus their identity? This widespread presence of a variety of different ethnolects in Australia is indicative of the nation’s multiculturalism. In addition, migrants from foreign countries may also preserve their cultural heritage through the use of some unique paralinguistic features. Valid point, but it may be stronger if you focused on actual linguistic features Despite this, it often hinders assimilation into the Australian culture. Migrants from Asia tend to make minimal eye contact during conversations, given that in most Asian nations it is considered polite. However, the opposite is true in most Western nations. The use of such a paralinguistic feature by an Asian migrant may be affronting to an Australian, and may result in the perpetuation of unjust prejudices, such as that “Asian people cannot be trusted”. Therefore, while the use of ethnolects I wouldn't consider paralinguistic features as part of an ethnolect...and you really need some more concrete examples now and other features derived from a migrant’s original language may allow the preservation of culture, it may also hinder assimilation into Australian society. I also don't understand the significance of "assimilation into Australian society". Australia is supposedly a multicultural country; does everyone need to be the same?

The Australian accent has undergone dramatic changes since colonisation of Australia by the British. Initially, Australian English was simply a mongrel of many different British dialects. Soon after, these Australians distinguished their identity from that of the British by constructing their own distinctive language. The cultivated accent was used by the socially elite to demonstrate their power in society and command respect from others. This point directly contradicts your previous point; the cultivated accent was created in order to imitate the British accent as closely as possible for prestige; wasn't really distinctive, and if the social elite do this...However, in modern Australia, there has been a trend away from the cultivated accent. The current attitudes and beliefs of Australian speakers do not meld with the arrogance exuded by the cultivated accent, and according to linguist Kate Burridge, “one often encounters hostile or amused reactions to the cultivated accent.” As a result, the prevalence of the general accent, which combines the egalitarianism and friendliness instilled in the broad accent with the high levels of education indicated by the cultivated accent, has increased. Nevertheless, Australia’s speakers remain linguistically diverse, with geographical location a main determinant of the accent used. Individuals living in rural areas are far more likely to adopt a broad accent, not quite true; a study done in rural areas show that even there, the general accent is more common; sure, you may find more broad speakers in rural areas than in urban areas which is perhaps correlated with the lower levels of education received by most rurally-located individuals be VERY careful when making such stereotypes and generalisations. If you meet a marker from a rural area, you will be marked down for this, I guarantee. I've lost debates by making such arguments. Also, the Broad accent is just a cultural way of life; I'd hardly call it a result of poor education. Do you call speakers of Aboriginal English "stupid" because they don't speak Standard English in a general accent?. In addition, there is continued borrowing of lexical items from Indigenous languages. “Hard yakka” is a distinctively Australian phrase originally derived in such a manner. I don't see where this fits in...it seems too artificial. New paragraph for this? Also not particularly good practice to end a paragraph with an example without explaining its significance

The Australian identity is represented in the English used by its citizens. The introduction of Americanisms into Australian English, which has resulted from rapid technological development in recent decades, has elicited great apprehension from many of these citizens. Nevertheless, currently, the Americanisms evident in the language of Australians are purely lexical "bro" could be seen as morphological. The multiculturalism of Australia is enhanced by the presence of a wide range of different ethnolects. These ethnolects you haven't really mentioned ethnolects; rather, you've spoken about paralinguistics, which aren't unique to any given ethnolect, among other linguistic features, allow migrants to maintain the cultural identity of their previous country, but at times may hinder their assimilation into Australian society. again, so what? In addition, the accent of Australian speakers has undergone a number of changes since colonisation of the country by the British ok, so accent change...and?, and this is indicative of the predominating attitudes held by society. The Australian identity is powerfully reinforced by the language spoken by its citizens.




OK...I've been harsh as you've asked me to. I feel that some paragraphs, like your ethnolect paragraph, could be strengthened with more examples. English Language essays, in my mind, are 50% examples and 50% commentary. So far you've done, as you've realised, a lot of story-telling without too much actual informing. With the ethnolects, you really need language examples; paralinguistic features probably aren't the best to talk about, and it doesn't help that you've only mentioned one either. With Americanisation, it would be stronger, I think, if you included more examples of Americanisation that would actually demonstrate the diluting of the Australian identity that some people, you mention, are worried about.
I'm also not too sure about your paragraph on distancing from Britain. That was more stuff in the 20th century; the topic says 21st. It's a bit off-topic.
Also be careful of stereotyping. I'll reiterate, hedge if necessary, but never make assumptions about an entire race or country. I've done that before; it doesn't get you good grades from experience.

Hope my (admittedly) harsh criticism is of some use. Please don't take this personally :D
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lzxnl

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Re: One of my own (admittedly rather poor) essays
« Reply #36 on: October 11, 2013, 05:34:04 pm »
+1
Just a few quick suggestions:

- You quote people, mention their names but fail to explain why they're important.
"This is also reflected by Richard Castle’s comment that “through its culturally ingrained connotations of egalitarianism and mutual respect, ‘mate’ suggests an openness, at least a relationship of equal”"
"This is also reflected by Bobby McKFCmcdonaldshungryjacks’s comment that “through its culturally ingrained connotations of egalitarianism and mutual respect, ‘mate’ suggests an openness, at least a relationship of equal”"
There's not much point mentioning the name of your source of quote if you don't state whether they are a linguist, someone in the media, an author, a publisher or someone whose perceptions are even important in the literary world.

- Don't use colloquialisms and slang in your essay. Keep it in a highly formal register
- You list many examples yet they aren't effective if you don't explain them more -- try and link them back to attitudes and the functions of their existence
- Try and quickly slip in what word process is used in your examples (such as "the diminutive form of Robert, "Robbo")

I take your first two points; I've gotten a bit of that lately.
As for your third point, I suppose sometimes I do end up being too summative.
But I'm afraid I have to disagree on the example of the diminutive. I mentioned diminutives at the start of the second paragraph and I thought the implication was that I would be discussing diminutives. Of course, if you mean I have to make a stronger link within the paragraph, I'll look into that. It's just that repeating "diminutive" when the term appeared at the start of the paragraph as a general overview seems superfluous to me. Just my opinion.
Although yes, my metalanguage usage in general isn't great; need to work on that area.

[edit]
Righty-o. I have just finished reading your second essay and have a few things to add.
You had me stumped for a few good minutes here. Please don't use such jokes in a formal essay-- if the examiner can't understand what you're writing then they'll just skip to the next comprehensible part. If you really want to integrate it in then I suggest you somehow formulate it in brackets or present it so that your joke is clearer. Something along the lines of "meaning “Thank God it’s Friday”, incydk, or "in case you didn’t know"". Eh.
Another thing I must suggest is that you place brackets after each of your examples to translate it. For example, ""u" (you), "thx" (thanks)" is much more clearer than your clunky "“u” for “you”, “thx” for “thanks”" while also saving words. No one wants to read half a paragraph of examples with no substance to back it up.

Sorry if I seem very critical of your work-- what you've done is great but there is never perfection in English. I'll put some of my stuff up after which you can point as many fingers at as you can.

I'm perfectly fine with criticism; I posted these essays up expecting that, actually, and giving me more is just what I want, so no need to apologise (:

Thanks for the comments everyone!
« Last Edit: October 11, 2013, 07:22:49 pm by nliu1995 »
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Re: English Language submission and marking
« Reply #37 on: October 11, 2013, 05:50:15 pm »
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Unit 4 AOS 2 SAC 1
Spoiler
Australian English is made up of many different varieties. Discuss the range of variations within Australian English and the different attitudes people have towards them.

The non-standard varieties as well as Standard Australian English makes up Australian English – the means of communication in Australia. The diversity of these varieties is only natural as it reflects the myriad of ethnicities, cultures and faiths practiced within the country. Attitudes towards these linguistic variations will not detract the validity of the languages themselves.

Although Standard Australian English is regarded as the benchmark of language usage in Australia, it does not mean that it is superior than other non-standard varieties. Standard Australian English (SAE) is the common language, the national variety, of Australia and is used in the government, media, courts and education. Its role is to simply act as the codified norm in dictionaries, grammar books and be the standard for spelling and grammar. SAE follows British English spelling, including ‘o’ after ‘u’ such as in ‘colour’ as Australia was colonised by Britain and indeed, as linguist Bruce Moore states, “language is a bearer of history”. Therefore, Australian English retains influence of British English in its language varieties. Diminutives, the shortening and suffixation of –ie/-y/-o, is a characteristic unique to Australian English with examples being “Aussie”, Australia, and “muso”, musician. This feature reflects affability and friendliness which Australians identify with because the diminutive form of words used in Australian English indicates linguistic creativity and the playful casualness of Australians. Standard Australian English is perceived as the standard of language use due to being enforced in education. The Australian Curriculum, Assessment and Reporting Authority (ACARA) states that participation in Australian life “depends on effective communication in Standard Australian English”. These prescriptivist attitudes will not affect how language is used as language is constantly evolving and adapting to best suit our communicative needs. Kate Burridge, Monash University linguist, acknowledges that the standard variety has overt prestige as “it is associated with power, education and wealth” which is “highly valued by many people” but the other existing varieties of Australian English are just as valuable as long as messages are able to be conveyed and received by interlocutors. Prestige is not the only requirement for a language to be used.

The existence of migrant ethnolects is an indication of how culturally diverse Australia has become but with it comes the problems which may arise. Ethnolects are not considered as prestigious because it is spoken mainly by migrants or their children whose English has been influenced by their native language. Ethnic identities may be expressed with ethnolects – users may exclude those who are not of the same ethnicity while also lowering the social distance between those in the in-group. Borrowing of lexemes is a feature of ethnolects which supports this purpose. For example, the term ‘habiib’ is used in Lebanese Australian English to greet close friends. Its equivalent in Australian English is ‘mate’ but the multi-cultural variety employs ‘habiib’ instead because it retains its Arabic meaning and values of friendship which is stronger than ‘mate’, thus, strengthening the bond of the group’s users through the similar values and cultural tradition shared when using the term. In this way, their ethnic identity is asserted even amongst a country where the dominant culture is Anglo-Australian. Ethnolects are perceived by some as incorrect English or not upholding the standards of Australian English. Italian migrants end every word with a vowel in their mother tongue; their phonological pronunciation of words are often criticised because of this. For example, in Italian Australian English, ‘football’ would be pronounced as ‘footaballa’. This is parodied or mocked in the media with the movie ‘Wog Boy’ and ‘Acropolis Now’ being evident with this. The different in not just phonology, but lexicon and syntax of ethnolects are changes which have developed over time to Australian English, particularly since the Whitlam government abolished the White Australia policy. Although the cultures co-exist, friction may occur between them and the language variety used may be discriminated as a product of the prejudice against its users.

Aboriginal English is a non-standard variety which “differs from Standard Australian English at every level” according to the Department of Education in Western Australia, in order to express its users’ identity as separate from the values of Anglo-Saxon Australians. This variety is embedded with the values which Aboriginals hold. Including the importance of the group relationship as evident with the reliance of context to infer meaning even when ellipsis occurs and timelessness, as explicated with the lack of past tense marking. Examples of this such as “she tell him to stop them” is perceived as grammatically incorrect when compared to the Standard Australian English, “she told him to stop them”. Language is pertinent to the culture of Aboriginal people; Standard Australian English is considered as “flash language” and any Aboriginal using the standard variety would be deemed as “stuck up” (Eagleston) because of the ethnic groups’ attitudes towards the Anglo-Australian users of that variety. Not using Aboriginal Australian English would mean exclusion from the group. It was not until the 1960s that Aboriginal English was officially recognised as a distinct variety, a dialect, of Australian English in levels of government and in education. Nowadays there are publications regarding Aboriginal English and its use in courts and in schools. By doing so, even the variety’s feature of using ‘bin’ as a marker for a completed action would not be perceived as the distortion of the word ‘been’ – attitudes that regard Aboriginal English as inferior to Standard English is misconceived due to lacking the understanding of the pragmatics and importance of context used in this variety.

Just as Australian author Tim Winton embraces the nation as one that “honours its own stories and accents”, the plethora of Australian English varieties should be celebrated as a reflection of Australia’s current identity as a living, growing nation. The perception towards these varieties will not change the way that communication is being held between Australians nor tarnish the validity of how others express themselves in the wider community. 

By taking a range of examples from the different subsystems of language, discuss how at least one particular group of individuals has constructed their identity. Explain the range of attitudes that arise in response to this constructed identity.
Spoiler
There are two purposes of language – it is used as a platform for communication and a way of dividing people into groups which they do and don’t belong to. This has been executed by individuals to negotiate their identity; how they perceive themselves as well as how they want to be perceived as by others is indicated through their language repertoire which is used to best fit their social needs. People who play online games have their own lingo and jargon to allow for efficient communication with like-minded people as themselves. This group’s identity is clearly defined by their interests while other cliques are formed through other similarities such as age or gender. Though these speech communities implement linguistics in ways which help trademark their image, it may also act as a repellent to those who are not a part of their group. 
Gamers – people who play video games– use language to best accommodate to the instantaneous nature of games where conveying messages to teammates or other players is the biggest priority and the key to winning. To successfully communicate with other players while winning the game, specialised lingo is employed and retains features of spoken texts such as language not being planned, its spontaneity and the omission of words or phrases – all of this occurs due to the environment of the gaming world. Non-standard grammar, syntax and spelling are generally disregarded by these people when playing as it would only hinder the flow of the game. Due to the discourse generally being via e-communication, this group’s language includes features such as abbreviations, acronyms, elision and ellipsis to allow for the quickest way of getting across their message while also limiting the need to type less letters on the keyboard. Their vocabulary includes mainly terms which are relevant to games – jargon such as the initialisms “NPC” (Non-player character), shortening of “OP” (overpowered) and the lexeme “Steam” (an online store where players can purchase games) are such examples. People within the group can quickly understand each other, thus, strengthening the bond between members who have the same refined level of knowledge of the activity. Their language also acts as a way of excluding people who are not part of this group. The pejorative term “noob” or its variation “newb” is used in reference to people who are “new or terrible at a videogame” as defined by Urbandictionary. The use of these lexemes positions members of the in-group as a unit that is superior in their knowledge of the activity. At the same time, the refinement of this group’s speech which maximises the efficiency of game-play may be overwhelming indeed to these “noobs” which would therefore conjure up pejorative attitudes towards the seemingly hostile gaming community whose lingo is exclusive of the out-group. Outsiders whose gaming terminology is not as comprehensive as gamers who are more proficient and see the need for such lingo will not see the value of using such developed speech. Of course, gamer-speak is applied while playing or when discussing about games with fellow players – this type of speech is not used in every day conversations but instead is flexibly used when the player is interacting within a game environment.
Language is manipulated by teenagers to indicate what their views and values are as a group. The speech which this community uses, dubbed as “teenspeak”, includes linguistic features such as swearing and taboo language, creative non-standardisms and slang. Although swearing and taboo is considered as rude and inappropriate in formal contexts, adolescents gain covert prestige amongst their peers as social distance is low and interlocutors are accepting of this profanity as a shared norm. Obscenities are also associated with this generation; the group identifies themselves with rebellion and asserts a difference between themselves and older generations through their language. The slang “YOLO”, an acronym for “you only live once”, demonstrates that youths are constructing themselves as being recklessness and risk taking. This behaviour and the lexemes which exhibit these views are ultimately condemned by those who do not agree with what is being expressed. By straying away from standards of other groups, teenspeak serves to strengthen the community’s own presence - this can be done through the use of slang. Slang is generally short-lived with the intention of being secretive with examples of such including: “ily” (I love you) and “OMG”, an abbreviation for oh my God/goodness. As journalist John Humphries articulates, “the whole point” of teenspeak is to in fact act as the group’s “own language” which acts as a means of excluding outsiders and by doing so, those who attempt to assimilate into the group by mimicking their speech would perceive the in-group as unfriendly and intolerant because they were rejected despite using the group’s lingo. Prescriptivists would also devalue teenspeak as the group’s linguistic creativity with their shorthands, initialisms and acronyms can be perceived as defacing English language.
Even youth subcultures such as young females assert their identity through language which is often mocked in the media. These teenagers deliberately set themselves apart from the rest of their peers by using linguistic features differently from others. Their speech is heavily influenced by popular culture and trends. Feminine teen speak can be identified through the group’s use of High Rising Terminal as it suits the social purpose of inviting feedback which lowers the social distance between interlocutors while also adding a flirtatious element to their speech- this is because HRT phonologically sounds as if the speaker is asking a question. The group generally aligns themselves with fashion, make up, partying and boys – the last factor perhaps being the most influential on their speech. In an attempt to appear clumsy or ditsy in order to gain attention from the opposite gender, people within this speech community use variations of words such as “totes” (totally) and “awks” (awkward). These non-standardisms constructs them as being silly with language which can be regarded as being uneducated by those who do not understand that their language was intentionally manipulated. The use of “whatever” explicates the notion that these girls are flimsy and are apathetic towards things which do not interest them. They are straightforward with things that they do not like – the latest trend of ‘vocal fry’, the vibration of low notes being drawn out, is prominent by this group as they are influenced by celebrities such as Britney Spears and Ke$ha who employs such a feature. For example, by drawing out the vowel sound in “interestaaaaaang”, the girls are attempting to be seductive with their voices while using irony to their boredom. This speech and its users are often subjected to ridicule by the general public as the superficial lifestyle and the direct malice which the girls associate themselves with are not values desired by the dominant culture. Journalist John Hajek from The Age newspaper mimics this speech, “and I was like ‘Oh my god,’ and it’s so like, whatever,” with surprising accuracy to satire the indirectness of their speech which requires context to be understood – a factor that can only be obtained if the speaker was part of the same language clique and not as an outsider who he identifies himself and his readers as.
Indeed, as David Crystal mentions in A Glossary of Netspeak and Textspeak, individuals constantly evolve, adjust and adapt their language to best fit their social needs and “act as a badge of identity” for groups which they identify themselves with. Attitudes which stem from the sorts of language which groups use arise in accordance to whether the individual agrees or disagrees with the values being expressed by the speech community – a natural occurrence as a person either belongs to the group because they do share their beliefs or they don’t belong to it because they differ to what the group stands for.
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Re: Can someone have a look at this Eng Lang essay?
« Reply #38 on: October 11, 2013, 06:16:19 pm »
0
Thanks a heap nliu1995!
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[ENGLANG] Ways in which language can unify , discriminate or empower
« Reply #39 on: October 11, 2013, 06:29:33 pm »
0
Hey guys! This is an essay that I did a few weeks ago. Took me an hour or so to do. It was the first time I've done an essay on stuff like discrimination, euphemisms,etc. Please mark really harshly! :) Thanks so much , for taking time to read this. And my typing skills arent that great ,so just let me know if ive spelt anything wrong!

Discuss the ways in which can be used to unify , empower or discriminate . Refer to two subsystems.
Through fabricating different language choices , members of a society can use language to their advantage for various purpose in certain contexts. Speakers’ within a group can signify their belonging , as well as manipulate language  in public. Increasingly language is employed to create social boundaries between sub-groups of speakers, based on a factors such as  race and gender.

Features from ethno-cultural varieties and in particular domains in Australia are employed to “unify” speakers’. Covertly prestigious, etnolects, are used to add “flavour “ to the everyday discourse of Australians. However , they have a large impact on speakers’ who regularly converse in the variety; it signifies their membership to their ethnic group[. For instance in Chinese –Australian English ( ChiAE) speakers’ phonemically substitute the voiceless dental /th/ with voiceless fricative /s/, Thus, lexemes like “think” are pronounced as “fink”. Similarly , in Japanese –Australian English , speakers enunciate the /l/ phoneme. Thus , lexemes such as “really are mispronounced as “rearry”. Although prescriptivists might perceive these mispronunciations as showing the speakers’ lack of education, they are pertinent in signifying their roots with their motherland.  On the other hand,  within the ethnic group , these mispronunciations are accepted as they understand that these are occurring because of the absence of some phonemes in their mother tongue. This , in turn , enhances the in-group solidarity within an ethnic group. Just as members of an ethnic community use certain linguistic features to build group solidarity , Australian English assists its’ speakers to do the same. Within the scope of Australian English , linguistic features can be used to establish social rapport within certain domains. Particularly in the domain of sport , there is a certain level of covert prestige associated with the language employed . For instance , in the 2013 Premiership for the Australian Football League(AFL) , certain linguistic features were used to build informality and build rapport . Commentators , as well as players labelled Hawthorn player , Jarrod Roughhead , as “Roughie”. The use of diminutive , with a inflectional bound morpheme “-ie” added . Also, they elongated monophthongs at the end of phonemes , such as “Freo” . These features typically present in the domain of sport in Australia are used to unite speakers ' who are interested in sport, particularly AFL .  Thus, language within subgroups of Australia, with both covertly and overtly prestigious varieties , can “unify” speakers.

On the other hand , language can be used manipulate by certain members of society  to empower themselves by disguising the truth. Politicians particularly use there linguistic devices to enhance how they are perceived in the public eye . Politicians can take advantage of euphemisms to put a positive “spin” on a negative concept. This is used by politicians to conceal deeds that provoke an undesired response from the public. Liberal Minister, Malcomn Turnball , use the lexeme  “anachronistic spatial determinism “ in November 2012 to describe the notion of not planning cities on what the old ideas of what a family is . This is a weasel word, used to obfuscate the Australian public , by using nominalised , formal lexemes. It also makes Turnbull seem more “knowledgeable “  and “empowers” him in the public eye, contributed by the highly dense lexical item he employs. Furthermore, John Howard , substituted “ electrical fences” with “ energised fences” . This is because “electrical” has negative connotations associated with “harm” , whereas “energised “ has more positive connotations associated with being “lively”. Kate Burridge clearly demonstrates this by describing euphemisms as a “linguistic escape hatch” in which politicians can escape “ or “obfuscate “ reality , to empower themselves. Similarly , advertisers use language to maintain power over prospective customers. In cosmetic products , advertisers use  highly dense lexical items in the form of jargon , such as “ comedogenic “ . This lexeme means that the product will  clog up skin pores. From the point of view of a customer, who has minimal knowledge about cosmetics , might perceive the use of this lexeme as positively connotated ,  due to the high lexical density. However  , the company is attempting to mislead the customer , so they can buy their product. Consequently , language can be exploited by politicians and companies at their own advantage to establish power and authority.

Language can be used to “discriminate” against sub-groups in contemporary Australian society . Social differences are purposefully created in society , largely by targeting a part of one’s personal identity, including race and gender. Gender discrimination still prevails in Australian society. For instance , in September 2013, Labour Minister , Phillip Goff mocked a fellow parliament member for being “beaten on three occasions, each time by a women” . In this comment, Hoff discriminates women , and assumes that women , according to societal norms, are to “weak”  to physically hurt men. The comment was bound to much media attention , due to its discriminatory nature. Similarly , Andrew Bolt’s comment about Indigenous Australians sparked much media attention . He stated that “She [a white Indigenous female] choose her Aboriginal identity as it had a political and social clout” . Bolt discriminates the ethnicity of the female , by differentiating between the rights of being Indigenous  and being “ non-Indigenous, and consequently asserting that Indigenous  people have more rights. Racist language is not only prevalent in spoken language, but also written language. For instance , in October 2013, suburbs in Sydney had graffiti painted , saying “ Asians out of here” and “Muslims out”. This labelling of cultural and religious groups in contemporary Australians creates social divisions and lack of unity between what essentially is an multicultural Australian society. Furthermore , discrimination against sexuality is also prevalent. For instance , in which the National Party candidate stated that “ I would not let a gay person teach my child”. The use of the lexeme “gay” , is associated with negative connotations by society, it portrays homosexual population in a negative light, thus is discriminatory. Moreover, with employing linguistic features they create differences to express their negative attitudes towards a sub-group ,by negatively labelling them. Thus, through employing discriminatory language , barriers are created according to one’s gender , sexuality and race.

Thus , language can be used positively and negatively for a variety of purposes. In some cases , it can be used to foster in group solidarity within the ethnic and Australian communities , while in others , it can be used manipulatively to empower public or to offend.
« Last Edit: October 11, 2013, 06:32:51 pm by teletubbies_95 »
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Re: English Language submission and marking
« Reply #40 on: October 11, 2013, 06:30:18 pm »
+2
I'll look at one for now; maybe the second one when I get some time later on.


Australian English is made up of many different varieties. Discuss the range of variations within Australian English and the different attitudes people have towards them.

The non-standard varieties as well as Standard Australian English makes up Australian English – the means of communication in Australia. The diversity of these varieties is only natural as it reflects the myriad of ethnicities, cultures and faiths practiced within the country. Attitudes towards these linguistic variations will not detract the validity of the languages themselves.I get the feeling the intro isn't particularly strong

Although Standard Australian English is regarded as the benchmark of language usage in Australia, it does not mean that it is superior than superior to? other non-standard varieties. Standard Australian English (SAE) is the common language, the national variety, of Australia and is used in the government, media, courts and education. Its role is to simply act is that its only function? as the codified norm in dictionaries, grammar books and be the standard for spelling and grammar. SAE follows British English spelling, including ‘o’ after ‘u’ such as in ‘colour’ as Australia was colonised by Britain and indeed, as linguist Bruce Moore states, “language is a bearer of history”. Therefore, Australian English retains influence of British English in its language varieties. Diminutives, the shortening and suffixation of –ie/-y/-o, is a characteristic unique to Australian English with examples being “Aussie”, Australia, and “muso”, musician. I'm getting lost here...you were talking about Standard English only moments before..perhaps your topic sentence isn't clear? This feature reflects affability and friendliness which Australians identify with because the diminutive form of words used in Australian English indicates linguistic creativity and the playful casualness of Australians. Standard Australian English is perceived as the standard of language use due to being enforced in education. So...why is this bit on non-Standard English sandwiched here? I'm really confused... The Australian Curriculum, Assessment and Reporting Authority (ACARA) states that participation in Australian life “depends on effective communication in Standard Australian English”. These prescriptivist attitudes will not affect how language is used as language is constantly evolving and adapting to best suit our communicative needs. Kate Burridge, Monash University linguist, acknowledges that the standard variety has overt prestige as “it is associated with power, education and wealth” which is “highly valued by many people” but the other existing varieties of Australian English are just as valuable as long as messages are able to be conveyed and received by interlocutors. Prestige is not the only requirement for a language to be used. Ok, now I sort of get the point of your paragraph. I think your point would be better communicated if you split this paragraph into two; one with overt, one with covert prestige. It's a major point

The existence of migrant ethnolects is an indication of how culturally diverse Australia has become but with it comes the problems which may arise. Ethnolects are not considered as prestigious because it is spoken mainly by migrants or their children whose English has been influenced by their native language. And because it's non-Standard, because people think they can't speak English?Ethnic identities may be expressed with ethnolects – users may exclude those who are not of the same ethnicity while also lowering the social distance between those in the in-group. Borrowing of lexemes is a feature of ethnolects which supports this purpose. For example, the term ‘habiib’ is used in Lebanese Australian English to greet close friends. I've heard this example was overused last year Its equivalent in Australian English is ‘mate’ but the multi-cultural variety employs ‘habiib’ instead because it retains its Arabic meaning and values of friendship which is stronger than ‘mate’, thus, strengthening the bond of the group’s users through the similar values and cultural tradition shared when using the term. Perhaps a second example to illustrate your point more thoroughly? In this way, their ethnic identity is asserted even amongst a country where the dominant culture is Anglo-Australian. Ethnolects are perceived by some as incorrect English or not upholding the standards of Australian English. Italian migrants end every word with a vowel in their mother tongue; their phonological pronunciation of words are often criticised because of this. For example, in Italian Australian English, ‘football’ would be pronounced as ‘footaballa’. This is parodied or mocked in the media with the movie ‘Wog Boy’ and ‘Acropolis Now’ being evident with this. The different in not just phonology, but lexicon and syntax of ethnolects are changes which have developed over time to Australian English, particularly since the Whitlam government abolished the White Australia policy. Although the cultures co-exist, friction may occur between them and the language variety used may be discriminated as a product of the prejudice against its users. Link to topic; I'm getting lost again

Aboriginal English is a non-standard variety which “differs from Standard Australian English at every level” according to the Department of Education in Western Australia, in order to express its users’ identity as separate from the values of Anglo-Saxon Australians. Surely not JUST Anglo-Saxon Australians? This variety is embedded with the values which Aboriginals hold. Perhaps explaining why might slightly strengthen your pointIncluding the importance of the group relationship as evident with the reliance of context to infer meaning even when ellipsis occurs and timelessness, as explicated with the lack of past tense marking. Was there a main clause in that sentence? Examples of this such as “she tell him to stop them” is perceived as grammatically incorrect when compared to the Standard Australian English, “she told him to stop them”. Around here I felt the need to re-read your work a few times to see your point; your point is valid, but sometimes I get lost trying to find it. Again, maybe it's just me. Language is pertinent to the culture of Aboriginal people; Standard Australian English is considered as “flash language” and any Aboriginal using the standard variety would be deemed as “stuck up” (Eagleston) because of the ethnic groups’ attitudes towards the Anglo-Australian users of that variety. Not using Aboriginal Australian English would mean exclusion from the group. Evidence? It was not until the 1960s that Aboriginal English was officially recognised as a distinct variety, a dialect, of Australian English in levels of government and in education. Nowadays there are publications regarding Aboriginal English and its use in courts and in schools. By doing so, even the variety’s feature of using ‘bin’ as a marker for a completed action would not be perceived as the distortion of the word ‘been’ – attitudes that regard Aboriginal English as inferior to Standard English is misconceived due to lacking the understanding of the pragmatics and importance of context used in this variety. I think you could have mentioned the changing attitudes towards Aboriginal English due to its growing acceptance now

Just as Australian author Tim Winton embraces the nation as one that “honours its own stories and accents”, the plethora of Australian English varieties should be celebrated as a reflection of Australia’s current identity as a living, growing nation. Multicultural and some word meaning diversity would fit with your paragraph choices here The perception towards these varieties will not change the way that communication is being held between Australians nor tarnish the validity of how others express themselves in the wider community. I don't feel as if you've made this point very clearly throughout the essay



Overall, I like your intention in your commentary. However, sometimes your expression is a little unclear and I personally found it difficult to find your point at times. Also, I felt as if you didn't link to the topic at times. I repeatedly failed to see the point you tried to make at the end of each paragraph. As another tip, I think you've done the opposite of me; you've tried to go for commentary at the expense of examples, while I've done the opposite. Examples represent evidence in this course; they really are necessary, as English Language a study of the language and only actual linguistic evidence will support what you say. It's like science; it doesn't matter how convincing your theory is, if it isn't supported by experimental evidence, it's not going to be as accepted as a theory that makes no sense but explains a lot of experimental evidence.

Just a few of my tips and thoughts here, some of them may well be wrong xP
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Re: [ENGLANG] Ways in which language can unify , discriminate or empower
« Reply #41 on: October 11, 2013, 06:39:28 pm »
+3
Just a tip - don't use quotation marks if you're not quoting anything. You do it especially when you're using colloquial terms in order to try and justify its informal nature.

“unify”
add “flavour “
positive “spin”
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Re: English Language submission and marking
« Reply #42 on: October 11, 2013, 06:46:01 pm »
0
Overall, I like your intention in your commentary. However, sometimes your expression is a little unclear and I personally found it difficult to find your point at times. Also, I felt as if you didn't link to the topic at times. I repeatedly failed to see the point you tried to make at the end of each paragraph. As another tip, I think you've done the opposite of me; you've tried to go for commentary at the expense of examples, while I've done the opposite. Examples represent evidence in this course; they really are necessary, as English Language a study of the language and only actual linguistic evidence will support what you say. It's like science; it doesn't matter how convincing your theory is, if it isn't supported by experimental evidence, it's not going to be as accepted as a theory that makes no sense but explains a lot of experimental evidence.

Just a few of my tips and thoughts here, some of them may well be wrong xP

The teachers kept on insisting that we had to be contentious and talk about attitudes so I tried shoving as much damn attitudes as I explicitly could, haha. Oh well. I agree that my expression is clunky - it's funny because my lit teacher tells me that I need to improve yet all three of my school's English Language teachers say that my expression is good.
We've both got stuff to work on which is great - here's to hoping for some visible improvement. I'll try and chug out another essay this weekend.
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Re: [ENGLANG] Ways in which language can unify , discriminate or empower
« Reply #43 on: October 11, 2013, 06:46:02 pm »
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Ahk ! :) I'll keep that in mind next time.

Thanks so much! :)
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Re: [ENGLANG] Ways in which language can unify , discriminate or empower
« Reply #44 on: October 11, 2013, 07:10:09 pm »
+2
Discuss the ways in which can be used to unify , empower or discriminate . Refer to two subsystems.
Through fabricating different language choices , members of a society can use language to their advantage for various purpose in certain contexts. Speakers’ within a group can signify their belonging , as well as manipulate language  in public. Increasingly comma needed here language is employed to create social boundaries between sub-groups of speakers, based on a factors such as  race and gender. Contention?

Features from ethno-cultural varieties and in particular domains in Australia are employed to “unify” speakers’. Covertly prestigious, ethnolects, are used to add “flavour “ to the everyday discourse of Australians. However , they have a large impact on speakers’  don't misuse the apostrophe like this again...please... who regularly converse in the variety; it signifies their membership to their ethnic group[. For instance in Chinese –Australian English ( ChiAE) speakers’ phonemically substitute the voiceless dental /th/ with voiceless fricative /s/, Thus, lexemes like “think” are pronounced as “fink” voiceless fricative "s"? I don't see an s there...might be useful to point out the reason for these phonological differences, like how Chinese actually lacks the th sound. Similarly , in Japanese –Australian English , speakers enunciate the /l/ phoneme. Thus , lexemes such as “really are mispronounced mispronounced...is a dangerous word to use... as “rearry”. Although prescriptivists might perceive these mispronunciations as showing the speakers’ lack of education, they are pertinent in signifying their roots with their motherland.  On the other hand,  within the ethnic group , these mispronunciations are accepted as they understand that these are occurring because of the absence of some phonemes in their mother tongue. This , in turn , enhances the in-group solidarity within an ethnic group. Just as members of an ethnic community use certain linguistic features to build group solidarity , Australian English assists its’ APOSTROPHE! speakers to do the same. Expand on ethnolects and make this a new paragraph, perhaps. Within the scope of Australian English , linguistic features can be used to establish social rapport within certain domains. Particularly in the domain of sport , there is a certain level of covert prestige associated with the language employed . For instance , in the 2013 Premiership for the Australian Football League(AFL) , certain linguistic features were used to build informality I prefer "reduce social distance" and build rapport . Commentators , as well as players labelled Hawthorn player , Jarrod Roughhead , as “Roughie”. The use of diminutive , with a inflectional bound morpheme “-ie” added . Also, they elongated monophthongs at the end of phonemes , such as “Freo” . These features typically present in the domain of sport in Australia are used to unite speakers ' who are interested in sport, particularly AFL .Bit bland  Thus, language within subgroups of Australia, with both covertly and overtly prestigious varieties , can “unify” speakers.

On the other hand , language can be used manipulate by certain members of society  to empower themselves by disguising the truth. I think it's more to alter public perceptions of them and to hide wrongdoing Politicians particularly use there please check the spelling linguistic devices to enhance how they are perceived in the public eye .Enhance public perceptions? Politicians can take advantage of euphemisms to put a positive “spin” on a negative concept. Connotations; examiners love metalanguage This is used by politicians to conceal deeds that provoke an undesired response from the public. Liberal Minister, Malcomn Turnball , use the lexeme  “anachronistic spatial determinism “ in November 2012 to describe the notion of not planning cities on what the old ideas of what a family is . This is a weasel word, used to obfuscate the Australian public , by using nominalised , formal lexemes. I personally see it as being a weasel word because it's meaningless in the eyes of the publicIt also makes Turnbull seem more “knowledgeable “  and “empowers” him in the public eye, contributed by the highly dense lexical item he employs. Furthermore, John Howard , substituted “ electrical fences” with “ energised fences” . This is because “electrical” has negative connotations associated with “harm” , whereas “energised “ has more positive connotations associated with being “lively”. Kate Burridge clearly demonstrates this by describing euphemisms as a “linguistic escape hatch” in which politicians can escape “ or “obfuscate “ reality , to empower themselves. Similarly , advertisers use language to maintain power manipulate the message? over prospective customers. In cosmetic products , advertisers use  highly dense lexical items in the form of jargon , such as “ comedogenic “ . This lexeme means that the product will  clog up skin pores. From the point of view of a customer, who has minimal knowledge about cosmetics , might perceive the use of this lexeme as positively connotated ,  due to the high lexical density. However  , the company is attempting to mislead the customer , so they can buy their product. Consequently , language can be exploited by politicians and companies at their own advantage to establish power and authority. Again, I doubt it's to establish authority; they're the ones making the statements, how much more authority can they have? I still think it's about twisting messages

Language can be used to “discriminate” against sub-groups in contemporary Australian society . Social differences are purposefully created in society , largely by targeting a part of one’s personal identity, including race and gender. Gender discrimination still prevails in Australian society. For instance , in September 2013, Labour Minister , Phillip Goff mocked a fellow parliament member for being “beaten on three occasions, each time by a women” . In this comment, Hoff discriminates women , and assumes that women , according to societal norms, are to spelling!!! “weak”  to physically hurt men. The comment was bound to attract? much media attention , due to its discriminatory nature. Weak; explain that the comment attracted negative attention and then why. Similarly , Andrew Bolt’s comment about Indigenous Australians sparked much media attention . He stated that “She [a white Indigenous female] choose her Aboriginal identity as it had a political and social clout” . Bolt discriminates the ethnicity of the female , by differentiating between the rights of being Indigenous  and being “ non-Indigenous, and consequently asserting that Indigenous  people have more rights. Elaborate further Racist language is not only prevalent in spoken language, but also written language. For instance , in October 2013, suburbs in Sydney had graffiti painted , saying “ Asians out of here” and “Muslims out”. This labelling of cultural and religious groups in contemporary Australians creates social divisions and lack of unity between what essentially is an multicultural Australian society. That's not even the point; it's the fact that the graffiti is directly asking them to leave the country and that they're unwelcome here. Furthermore , discrimination against sexuality is also prevalent. For instance , in which the National Party candidate stated that “ I would not let a gay person teach my child”. The use of the lexeme “gay” , is associated with negative connotations by society, it portrays homosexual population in a negative light, thus is discriminatory. Again you fail to see the point; it's the fact that the person dislikes homosexuals based upon their sexuality Moreover, with employing linguistic features they create differences to express their negative attitudes towards a sub-group ,by negatively labelling them. Thus, through employing discriminatory language , barriers are created according to one’s gender , sexuality and race. Too broad; you really needed to pick out one or two types of discrimination and hammer them home

Thus , language can be used positively and negatively for a variety of purposes. In some cases , it can be used to foster in group solidarity within the ethnic and Australian communities , while in others , it can be used manipulatively to empower public or to offend. Conclusion is really weak...make a stronger point


OK, the main issues with this essay, I think, are the following.
Firstly, you miss the main points sometimes in your analysis of euphemism and doublespeak in my opinion. Secondly, I feel as if your introduction and conclusion were too short; do not neglect them! Thirdly, spelling and punctuation...please don't do this in the exam...assume all exam assessors are prescriptivists :D
Fourthly, your paragraph on discriminatory language was too broad; I would probably use the material in that paragraph for at least half an essay, if not more. Pick out some areas of discrimination and go into detail. My teacher has always told me that detail is important; here, you have too many examples.

Don't ask me for a mark; I don't know how to give numbers to these things :P
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