Should parents discipline their children by hitting them?

[Atlantis]

Of course I don't mean hitting as hard as to constitute abuse, but where is the line drawn? Should there be substitutions to hitting like taking away their toys/devices first?

Personally I think it's a good thing if parents discipined their children with light smacks or something if it works.
I remember as a child whenever my mum would hit me i'd cry for a few minutes (mostly out of embarrassment?) then realise I had done something wrong and avoid it in the future; it seemed pretty effective for me.

What are your thoughts?

[Calebark]

No, I don't think so. Getting hit isn't discipline -- it's punishment. Fearing a parent =/= knowing what you did is wrong.

I don't have time to write a full-length response, so I will do so some other time, but I'll just say that I was frequently physically punished as a kid, yet it most certainly did not change my behaviours. If anything, it made me more rebellious, as a bit of a 'fuck you' to my parents. I received a lot of punishment, but never any discipline.

[Joseph41]

I'm strongly against it and I don't think it necessary.

[Sconey]

If you mean hitting them with a healthy and safe upbringing, then darn I support it.

[Jigsaw]

The use of force (even if rather limited) in terms of disciplining a child is completely inadmissible. Not only will this create fear towards a parent due to associations with force, but may also induce a lack of confidence/increased trepidation from the child. I'm always a supporter of discipline through words; "You ate the cookie even though we told you not to, so there will be no TV tonight." This clearly communicates the message to the child, and deters the child to not undergo the behaviour again, without the child fearing that they'll have force directed at them from a parent.

[Orb]

There's definitely two sides to the coin. Think the effect of it highly depends on the individual and their response to it.

I know that personally I'm one of those kids who needed to grow at my own pace, my parents very rarely hit me throughout my childhood and i'm very grateful for that. I'd like to think that if I was subject to corporal punishment my own growth would've been significantly hindered.

However, i've seen family friends who've "benefited" (again, this is debatable) enormously from their parents doing so. Think a low Bs or Cs student positioned in the median of their cohort in Years 7-9 making a turnaround all the way to an end ATAR of 99.90/99.95 and vastly outperforming what everyone else perceived their peak to be. Again, there are many criticisms we can place onto this treatment, such as: "is a 99.95 worth 3 years of flogging every time you didn't get a Rank 1 score?", "maybe he/she would've reached that VCE ranking pinnacle without it (is the punishment even linked to their success), and so on. At the same time, 3-4 years down the track, when I ask them whether it was 'worth it', a common message seems to be '100%' or something along those lines.

A particular notable example comes to mind, a famous pianist called Lang Lang, where his father subjected him to 10 or so years of corporal punishment and a particular quote stands out to mind when his father told him to "kill himself" (https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2011/may/14/lang-lang-piano-china-father) full article link provided in brackets. Even if the corporal punishment was necessary for his current magnitude of success in the piano world, was it worth it for depriving him of what most people call these days as a 'childhood'?

Just some food for thought, but my opinion is that it highly varies on the student in question. I know that, personally, there are a few activities that i'd loved for mum & dad to force me to continue 5-8 years ago (whether physically or verbally).

[GalacticProcess]

The thing with hitting a child to discipline them is that they aren't really recognising what they did wrong, they're just fearing the punishment. The reason they won't do it next time isn't because it's wrong, but because they fear the punishment after it. Like, maybe when the parent isn't around, they'll do the wrong thing again because they know no one will punish them for it.

I mean hitting the child does work, but there are better ways of teaching kids what's right and wrong.I don't really know if I support it or not though. I kinda do, but kinda don't haha.

[zofromuxo]

As a child that was physically disciplined as a child. It really depends on the child.

There are some kids that don't take "time-out, off to naughty corner, your grounded" to change a bad habit and sometimes they need a "good" slap.
That being said it can emotionally stunt a kid and make them passive, agreeable and scared as they become adults. (I fit this category)

So I guess it really depends on your kid, I'm not advocating bashing your kid[/b]. I mean a light slap on the hand or the bum.
I think it is naive to think that everything can be solved by a "good ole talk" on why you shouldn't do this behavior, going to a naughty corner, grounding them, etc. But at the same time sometimes your kid really needs a slap to get the message.

[peterpiper]

As a child that was physically disciplined as a child. It really depends on the child.

There are some kids that don't take "time-out, off to naughty corner, your grounded" to change a bad habit and sometimes they need a "good" slap.
That being said it can emotionally stunt a kid and make them passive, agreeable and scared as they become adults. (I fit this category)

So I guess it really depends on your kid, I'm not advocating bashing your kid[/b]. I mean a light slap on the hand or the bum.
I think it is naive to think that everything can be solved by a "good ole talk" on why you shouldn't do this behavior, going to a naughty corner, grounding them, etc. But at the same time sometimes your kid really needs a slap to get the message.

I think it really comes down to what message the child would perceive from the punishment. Like a slap could mean a variety of things: in cases of trauma, it is usually associated to domination, intimidation and fear. However, they could also represent I guess something akin to touching hot water - consequences from action etc. I'm strongly against corporal punishment, but I kinda understand what you mean. Kids can be a bit hard to handle and can be terrible little poops, and reasoning with them just doesn't sometimes work when emotions and all kinds of things are involved. But it is always the parent's obligation to later explain why they reacted the way they did. Kids are smart, and I guess they would understand if you're patient enough (and this is why I respect parents so much). I think that's probably the most important part of disciplining a child anyway: being patient and generally being a good teacher. And that's sort of why I don't think corporal punishment is necessary - there are certainly other less potentially scarring ways to teach a kid if you look hard enough.

[EEEEEEP]

Of course I don't mean hitting as hard as to constitute abuse, but where is the line drawn? Should there be substitutions to hitting like taking away their toys/devices first?

Personally I think it's a good thing if parents disciplined their children with light smacks or something if it works.
I remember as a child whenever my mum would hit me i'd cry for a few minutes (mostly out of embarrassment?) then realise I had done something wrong and avoid it in the future; it seemed pretty effective for me.

What are your thoughts?

I am on the fence in regards to this one.

I was a naughty kid until my parents did hit me. I definitely did not listen to my parents and I did misbehave quite a bit.  That certainly scared the living day lights out of me.

My parents did beat me with a wooden or metal rod when  I did something wrong, or lied or pissed them off too much HAHA. I cried a lot back in the days.  When my parents called me , I was like "oh sh*t, what did I do wrong?"  half the time (or most of the time). 

Growing up, a mistake or wrong doing was one hit, talking back and crying was another hit and well.. talking back loudly was another 2 on top of that. I actually have calluses where I was hit the most.



As with the above poster,   I was emotionally stunt, passive, agreeable and scared too. When disagreements came up, I would sorta  hop into a shell and shut up or agree. I also became a bit scared of voicing opinions.  It became very apparent when I noticed it when chatting or debating at times. When things got a bit heated, I got super scared..., and authority figures did scare me as well.

TO sum that up... I got damaged a bit (well more than  a bit.)... yeah I got damaged

[Gogo14]

Yes. So I have a medical excuse to not go to school, and can apply for seas

[neverlookback]

It's not necessary in my opinion.

[Ashjames]

No way, it does not teach a child not to do something again, it just teaches them to avoid the behavior when they are in the presence of their parents so they can avoid getting hit.

[exit]

The vast majority of times in my opinion when it is done, it is unnecessary. If an outsider of the family would look at this, there's a high chance they would think the parent is a [censored]

[babushka818]

Actually did a presentation on the legality of corporal punishment some years ago.

I honestly don't think it's that bad. I think of everything I experienced growing up, being hit was probably the least traumatic. I cried a bit, I realised I'd done something wrong and I didn't do it again. In my case I think it was effective. I think it's okay to use it as a bit of a warning like if your kid is playing with knives and you need something instant so they don't get hurt, a (not dramatically hard) smack could help. Of course, I think an explanation and talk with the child to explain why is necessary - trauma is so easy for a child to experience if they are repeatedly hit without understanding why. Also if it isn't effective in punishment, it shouldn't be done. For me I learnt from it so I'm honestly glad my parents did it, and from my survey of classmates for my presentation, not one person who was hit suffered trauma or thought it damaged them. But if your kid isn't responding to it, hitting them for no reason is not okay. As long as it is explained, doesn't cause long lasting harm, had a reason and a positive effect in the long run, it can be used, but definitely not as a first resort. Personally I got more scared when my parents yelled at me than when I got hit, but I think my parents actually used corporal punishment appropriately, so I wasn't hit excessively or really hard. I have friends whose parents threatened to burn them with hot knives if they ate too much, so on that spectrum, I'd rather have a smack on the bum for something I'd actually deserve..