My journey to redemption - pleasehelp123's journal

[pleasehelp123]

Hey everyone,

Glad to finally be starting a journal here after being a longtime lurker! I used to use ATAR Notes throughout VCE and had an account on here (my username was geminii) but I've forgotten my password so I can't get in, lol. Now I'm in university doing a Bachelor of Mechanical Engineering (Honours) and a Bachelor of Biomedical Science (as a double degree) at Monash University, and I'm halfway through my second year. Yes it's pretty tough - especially the engineering part.

The main reason I decided to start this journal is that I haven't been doing as well as I used to. It's caused my confidence to go down, I often find myself telling myself that I'm not smart or capable, or that I can just never reach my goals. It's been very difficult. I feel like I'm stuck and I'll never become unstuck.

I failed a subject last semester and that really hit me hard, basically cementing my belief that I wasn't good enough. This semester things didn't go too well either - results come out in 7 days and I'm petrified. I hate feeling this way every six months so I've decided I'm going to slap myself out of this autopilot way of life that I adopted since graduating and start actually trying to do better, and ignore the negative voices in my head.

Starting tomorrow I will start studying for all the subjects I'm doing next semester. They are:

• MEC2404: Mechanics of Fluids
• ENG2005: Advanced Mathematics
• BMS1062: Molecular Biology
• BMS1042: Public Health & Preventive Medicine

I'm especially concerned about MEC2404 since it's engineering subjects that I usually struggle with...I've also looked at the textbooks and they don't make much sense to me. So that subject is definitely my focus.
I'm least worried about BMS1042 since it seems pretty similar to the VCE subject Health & Human Development (from what I can tell). There's limited resources online for all these subjects so I can't completely tell what they're about.

Anyways...signing off for now. I'll detail all the study I do tomorrow. Wish me luck.

EDIT: just realised I typed my own username incorrectly in the title. wow. great start huh? please if there's a mod that reads this, it would be awesome if that could be fixed!! thank you

[Joseph41]

Hey pleasehelp123/geminii! Amazing to have you back here. Would you prefer to use your other account? We can re-set your password - feel free to PM. I remember you posting about getting into your course. That must have been like 18 months ago now! Time flies, haha.

Sorry to hear about how things are progressing atm. Nice work on starting the journal - I hope it helps!

Interesting subjects for next sem. I know you've said MEC2404 is your focus for now and you're least worried about BMS1042, but what are you most looking forward to?

P.S. Have also updated the title!

[geminii]

Hey pleasehelp123/geminii! Amazing to have you back here. Would you prefer to use your other account? We can re-set your password - feel free to PM. I remember you posting about getting into your course. That must have been like 18 months ago now! Time flies, haha.

Sorry to hear about how things are progressing atm. Nice work on starting the journal - I hope it helps!

Interesting subjects for next sem. I know you've said MEC2404 is your focus for now and you're least worried about BMS1042, but what are you most looking forward to?

P.S. Have also updated the title!

Thanks for the welcome! Feels really good to be back. Didn't realise how much I missed AN!

Hmm, I'm most looking forward to BMS1062 (Molecular Biology) because I'm really interested in the content that's going to be covered (judging by the unit handbook)! But I'm also super excited for BMS1042 (Public Health & Preventive Medicine) because preventive medicine is one of two possible fields I want to get into once I graduate (the other being genetics, which is a subject I'm doing semester 1 next year). I can't wait to see whether it lives up to my expectations and whether I enjoy it or not! I enjoyed HHD a lot in Year 11 so I'm hoping I'll enjoy this too.

--

I managed to do some amount of study today, only for BMS1062. I find it difficult to remember facts just by reading or writing them out so I decided I'd do some drawing of the process of transcription and try to understand it that way, which is a tip my VCE Biology teacher gave me in school. It really does seem to help so I'll keep at it.

Apart from study I did a few other things! Went for a driving lesson today, and I've completed five hours now! (Yes, I'm 19 and extremely late to the game, lol.) Did a right turn at a roundabout for the first time and it's only my second time driving out on quiet roads! So that was exciting.

Anyways I'll keep updating. Going out with tomorrow with uni friends whom I haven't seen in literal months! Pumped for that. I'll study around that as well.

Signing off.

[strawberries]

great to see you back geminii

good luck with everything!

[geminii]

great to see you back geminii

good luck with everything!

Thanks so much strawberries! Great to see you again too!

I get my results back tomorrow and I'm super nervous...so if anyone has any advice then I'd be most grateful. Thanks so much for the support.

[geminii]

Hey everyone,

I got my results back today. Kind of bittersweet because I finally got my first ever Distinction (for Biophysics - BMS1031) but I also failed ENG1001...again. To be completely honest I was expecting it because I knew the exam didn’t go well. I can’t believe I’ve failed again and I’m at a loss as to what to do right now. I hate feeling the same thing I felt when I failed last semester too. And now I’m having these thoughts again of “I’m just not smart enough to ever do well, it’s just me that can never get a high enouh grade.” I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know if I should take a break today or just study today anyway. I have to redo ENG1001 for a third time next year semester 1. It’s a really hard hit to my psyche right now.

I’ve signed up for three workshops that my university is holding on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of the first week back (29th, 30th and 31st of July). The one on the 29th is ‘Memory and Critical Thinking’. The one on the 30th is “Time Management Over Procrastination’. And the one on the 31st is ‘Successful University Study’. I feel kind of silly going to these because I went to workshops like this at the beginning of first year and I feel like I shouldn’t be going, but I know they will help me. I’m trying to do everything I can, I’m trying to keep busy which is why I’m here typing all this because I really don’t know what to do. I hate disappointing myself but even worse is disappointing my parents because they’ve tried so hard to give me this amazing education, moving all the way over here from India, and I feel like I’m just letting them down.

Anyways. Sorry for the rant. I’m just kind of lost right now.

I’ll update soon.

———————

I’m thinking of getting a tutor for fluid mechanics next year, just in case. Monash has cheap tutoring options available through MSA (Monash Student Association) so I think it might be a good idea. Not sure if I should try get a tutor now, before term starts, or later on?

[caffinatedloz]

Hey everyone,

I got my results back today. Kind of bittersweet because I finally got my first ever Distinction (for Biophysics - BMS1031)

Hey geminii,
Great achievement!!

I’ve signed up for three workshops that my university is holding on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of the first week back (29th, 30th and 31st of July). The one on the 29th is ‘Memory and Critical Thinking’. The one on the 30th is “Time Management Over Procrastination’. And the one on the 31st is ‘Successful University Study’. I feel kind of silly going to these because I went to workshops like this at the beginning of first year and I feel like I shouldn’t be going, but I know they will help me. I’m trying to do everything I can, I’m trying to keep busy which is why I’m here typing all this because I really don’t know what to do. I hate disappointing myself but even worse is disappointing my parents because they’ve tried so hard to give me this amazing education, moving all the way over here from India, and I feel like I’m just letting them down.

Those workshops sound super cool! Good on you for going because you know they'll be useful. It certainly can't hurt. Feeling like that can be tough. Sending you a virtual hug!

I’m thinking of getting a tutor for fluid mechanics next year, just in case. Monash has cheap tutoring options available through MSA (Monash Student Association) so I think it might be a good idea. Not sure if I should try get a tutor now, before term starts, or later on?

Cheap tutoring, what a win! Idk about when to get a tutor, but would 100% recommend. I've never had consistent tutoring, but every time I organise it, it's always super helpful. Being able to ask experienced people questions is AMAZING!

[Bri MT]

Hey geminii! It's good to hear from you again

There's proof that you're able to get high grades in that you did it for biophysics. Managing the disappointment you're experiencing and moving forwards with and from that is difficult and a task I don't envy you, but the fact that you're able to pick yourself up after failures and keep on going is more admirable than being a 'natural' at it imo.

There's certainly nothing wrong with tapping into resources there to help you - better to go to these sessions than to not try things to improve.


Best of luck