HSC English Standard Trials Revision Lecture Thread

[angewina_naguen]

Hi Angela!

Thank you for taking the time to write the feedbacks!
I have edited my response a little bit, but i am not sure if i have changed it much. So if you do have some time, would you be able to check my work please? Thank you so much!!

Composers draw on personal experiences of their perception of the world through a different lens by igniting new ideas and aspects of the environment. This encourages audiences to expose and challenge themselves to new settings as a way of exploring qualities of the human experience through their connection to man-made technology and the natural environment.

Text 1 exposes the significance of man-made technology through the symbolic logos of social media apps to represent how all platforms provides connections into individuals’ lives and cultures, establishing a network that engages and virtually exposes individuals to new perspectives of the world. Without the connection empowered by technology, the salient image of the sinking ship in correlation to the dialogue, “OH MY GOD! WE’RE DRIFTING AWAY!” symbolises individual’s fear of being detached from friends, which may lead to anxiety and despair. Further, the composer stresses the prominence of technology through the vector that reveals the separation of the figures grasping distinct social medias dispersed in the ocean to illustrate how separation may result in the collective experience of isolation and boredom. Therefore, Text 1 portrays how man-made technology is the ultimate connection to bringing individuals together into a community through virtual social interactions. Without man-made technology, individuals may be distant and enclosed from drawing personal experiences from the wider world.

Text 2 encourages audiences to expose and connect themselves to new activities and environments through the collective pronoun and sensory imagery, “we are meant to engage with nature, the smells of the trees, the sounds of the birds, the rhythm of your walking,” to reveal the composer’s perception of tranquillity and exposure to freedom and independence. Thus, audiences may be allured by the benefits of hiking that may contribute to concerns in modern society through factual references and hyperbole, “an endless list of well-documented benefits to your physical and mental wellbeing,” to express the composer’s devotion for nature. Furthermore, audiences are challenged to explore and appreciate new environments and activities through the personal pronoun, “I could go on forever… I truly believe that it is the best way to understand nature,” to reflect the composer’s personal experience of enjoyment, whilst providing a subjective response towards the composer’s connection to nature. Therefore, audiences are inspired to make connections to new places in order to expose themselves to new measures of the world.

While Text 1 explores the inconsistencies of individual’s behaviour through the impact of man-made technology of the wider world, Text 2 encourages audiences to attempt obstacles within the natural environment by engaging in new perspectives that will enable physical connections to aspects of the world. Nevertheless, both texts allow audiences to gain valuable insight into the complexity of human behaviours and motivations.


sLOth

Hey, slothologist!

I just had a read through and it looks much better! The only thing I'd perhaps suggest again is to shorten any quotes or sentences wherever you feel it reasonable to. Here's an example!

Student Sample

Without the connection empowered by technology, the salient image of the sinking ship in correlation to the dialogue, “OH MY GOD! WE’RE DRIFTING AWAY!” symbolises individual’s fear of being detached from friends, which may lead to anxiety and despair.

More Concise Version

Without the connection empowered by technology, the salient image of the sinking ship, coupled with the dialogue "OH MY GOD! WE'RE DRIFTING AWAY!" symbolises the individuals' fear of detachment.

The power of writing concisely is something that needs to be developed with practice. You have less time under exam conditions so it's worth investing in, as part of your revision for Trials, practising more short answer responses to see how you manage with limited writing time. For example, a sentence like the one above can be shortened down so that you convey its most essential message 

Hope this helps!

Angelina