Add in pronouns section to profile?

[keltingmeith]

I noticed in Cat in the Hat's uni journal that some people may have been getting mis-gendered. I've chosen to add in my pronouns in my personal text and maybe others will do the same to help normalise it, but I reckon it'd be even better if the forums had a separate spot for you to actually list your preferred pronouns.

Sidenote: if this is implemented, I think the user should also have the option to have their pronouns not displayed, and it should be turned off (that is, not displayed) by default so that those who don't want to out their gender don't have to.

[PhoenixxFire]

Yeah I've debated raising this before (you may have noticed a few mods have recently added their pronouns) but have always hesitated because I know from experience that being asked/required to share pronouns when your trans and don't want to be out or questioning your gender and therefore being forced to claim incorrect pronouns hurts more than having people assume incorrect pronouns.
As well as having it not displayed by default I'd also make it an optional field and have it as write in not as a set selection of options because people use all sorts of pronouns and combinations of pronouns.

[keltingmeith]

Yeah, I understand entirely that it can be hurtful to those who don't want to out themselves, which I why I suggested making it hidden by default (and yeah, absolutely agree you can further support these people by making the field optional in the first place). I just think that the benefits in that it clearly supports non-binary and non-cis people is such a massive benefit that it's kinda worth it? Particularly considering how most people online try to hide links to their real life persona, so this could also be a way for people who aren't out irl to be out in a public space where it can't be linked to the "real them", a place where they can actually be themselves

For a comparison, I once ran a program where year 11/12 students would come to Monash to learn a bunch about science in general and what life as a scientist is like. I actually forbade the volunteers from using things like gender, sexuality, etc., in the getting to know you games so that the students didn't feel pressured to out themselves or lie about their own identity. However, I did let the staff (and even encouraged them) to put pronouns onto their name badges, and a few students commented on how they liked that and it made them feel safe about the environment they were in

I understand the circumstances are a bit different on a forum, where things in writing are a lot more front and center, so it may feel a lot less optional like it did in the example I gave - I just think it's a small thing that will go a long way to helping troubled students at the very least feel like this is a safe place, even if they don't want to reveal their pronouns. Hell, for extra security, you could even make it one of those fields that you don't collect at registration, and the user has to go out of their way to edit it (like with how personal text currently is - which is also how I saw this system working when I suggested it, but mentioning just so everything's clear with no assumptions)

[PhoenixxFire]

Yeah it's just one of those things that you have to be very careful with how you do it. Wanting to help trans and meta folk feel more comfortable is good and all but I've been in situations many times when pronoun sharing was done so badly that it very much hurt more than helped.
Don't think that would happen here (at least not if I have anything to say about it) but there is a bit of a tendency for well meaning cis people to try and do good things and end up doing more harm without even realising. It's very easy to think that something looks like a good idea but if you're not the target audience then it's easy to miss subtle differences that affect whether it's actually helpful.

Things like encouraging sharing pronouns can actually be harmful because it puts a bit of a question mark on people who choose not to - choosing not to share pronouns is sometimes because the person is transphobic and you can end up with gender divergent folks getting that perception when it's not their reason for choosing not to share. A better option is to present the idea of sharing pronouns neutrally with an explanation of how stating pronouns rather than assuming helps trans people.