ATAR Notes: Forum
VCE Stuff => VCE Humanities => VCE Arts/Humanities/Health => VCE Subjects + Help => VCE Global Politics => Topic started by: chumchum on November 14, 2009, 11:42:18 am
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if its possible can someone check if im on the right track?
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just from a quick skim through I'd say there's too much narrative and not enough analysis. For example that third paragraph 'China is a single-party communist state, dominated by the CCP, the world’s largest political party...' is not relevant to the question and is almost all extraneous. I know you're trying to provide background material for the essay, but it's too long and doesn't warrant a whole paragraph (remember, the examiners KNOW all these facts. They want to see ANALYSIS). If you feel you need to mention a bit of China's economic history, do so briefly in the introduction, 1-2 sentances max.
The essay improves as it goes on though, body of the essay is solid. Big tick for mentioning Copenhagen and not just Kyoto, examples from this year always stand out from older 'textbook' examples. Just sort out the first three paragraphs and you'll score well.