J_Rho :)
Hi J_Rho! Thanks so much for reading my journal! ^-^
Your journal, and the way you strive to achieve your goals are every single positive adjective I can think of! :)
I find Bio and Psych to be quite interesting most of the time. I'm a bit behind in Bio because I had a SAC when we covered transcription and translation, and it looks like something that will take a while for me to wrap my head around! I just finished all of my U4 Psych SACs which has been quite relieving! :)
Entry #2
I think it’s time for another update dose of Word Vomit!
I’ve been trying to write something for the past couple of weeks but I haven’t thought of anything decent. What tends to happen with me though, is that when I start writing, ideas begin to flow. Not great ideas, but ideas. I’ve got to convince myself that sometimes, those ideas are enough.
Year 11 has been a bloody weird year. I’ve experienced ups and downs, but have mostly learnt a lot. Some of the things I’ve learnt (or already knew but realised the importance of):
- I think I know how to revise for my subjects (including maths haha)… so why don’t I do it properly? Fear of failure can lead to failure itself.
- Exercise, exercise, exercise – for the production of those ‘feel good’ beta-endorphins. Even just a short run or walk.
- SLEEP IS PARAMOUNT. As I have learnt during remote learning, sleeping at 2am and waking up 7/8am is not good for your mental health and functioning, no matter how much work you have to do. After plenty of weeks of sustained wakefulness and not having a set sleep time, I went from being a night person to an I-need-to-sleep-when-my-creative-energy-peaks-at-night-but-I-choose-sleep person.
- Drink plenty of water and get enough micronutrients like iron and vitamin D, deficiencies are not nice.
- Come up with ways to pick yourself up when you have reached a low point in any aspect of life, before it becomes too difficult to manage.
Today I had a Psychology SAC and Methods SAC. I think the Psychology SAC went mostly well but Methods, oh boy. That’s a different story. Seeing as I have four SACs this week, I decided to put methods on the backburner and I know I could’ve tried a bit harder. Then there’s the question of whether or not I should switch to further. I don’t need methods for most of my top preferences (science at Melbourne is my second or third choice but I could always do arts and transfer, or science at Monash) but I don’t just want to drop it either, because I don’t think I’ve tried hard enough overall this year to say that I’ve given it a far go. I feel like if I drop it, I’m just giving up. My aim is to start doing the methods textbook for next year after I finish VCAA exams for this year and do every question (or at least do some basic ones until I’ve got a grasp on a concept and then move onto the advance ones). I could even start now and do one chapter a week, but the problem is that I might forget the material by the time I actually get to next year and will have to relearn it. Maybe it’s a better idea if I do more past SACs than textbook questions.
Particularly with Methods and Chem, if I take the time to understand a concept and why certain steps are performed, then it tends to stick with me. It's amazing how many of my friends went into the Methods SAC and didn't really understand the concepts (I was one of them haha). I’ve been trying to improve my understanding by watching YouTube videos in the non-procrastinate-y and asking my Chem teacher clarifying questions and she’s been nice to me about it which is nice. I usually hate asking for help but if I ask questions, I gain more knowledge, right?
Psychology has helped me to become aware of my cognitions, mental health and just how my brain works. I’ve been ruminating a lot about school, which has lead me to some maladaptive behaviours such as revising at the last minute even though I do know the importance of spaced repetition. I just want to pick myself up again. Anyway. I really enjoy Psych and how you can come up with an example for just about any concept. I saw an example in the textbook about being chased by a horse and seeing as the example was meaningful, it helped me to remember what memory bias was through elaborative rehearsal.
I’m towards the end of a workout challenge with a friend (has anyone tried YouTuber Chloe Ting’s workout programs?!) and now I’m starting a running program on an app called “Couch 2 5K”, where, as described in the name, it aims to get you off the couch and running 5km in around 8 weeks. Day 1 started with a 5 minute brisk walk, then alternating with a 1 min run / 1.5 minute walk eight times. I found it to be alright overall but my calves did not! Good thing my bio teacher taught me some stretches!
I’m also in the middle of a social media detox, basically with no Instagram or the like. I’m allowing YouTube every second day for entertainment. It’s been going somewhat well so far, but the last time I did a social media detox a month ago, I was a lot more strict (e.g. if I hadn’t done any work at all, not going on YouTube even if it was a designated day). I plan to implement that strictness again, especially seeing as we’re heading close to exams.
Around this time of the year, there’s a big emphasis on subject selection and future plans. The subjects I’ve chosen for next year are Bio, Chem, Methods, EngLang and Further. My school lets people do four subjects if they get over 40 in both 3&4s, Even if I do get over 40 in both, my plan is to either replace methods or further with a uni extension program like Deakin Accelerate or UMEP. In the case that I don’t get into any of these programs, I might do PE (just to prove to the PE teachers that I can do their subject and wear PE uniform :P. plus learn a bit about the human body). Normally, when people ask me what I want to do after high school, I tell them science. That’s the only thing I’m sure about. With careers, it always comes down to me asking myself, “Am I good enough for X career?” or “Would I make a good _____?”
Another pathway I haven't considered is research, in science, education or something health-esque. This partially stemmed (STEM - get it?) from when I recently spoke with someone who was interested in med and did biomed. They realised that they were interested in research after studying wet specs and are now striving to do a PhD. Research honestly seems like a great pathway – writing a PhD is almost like writing a difficult-to-understand coffee table book. A story perhaps. Weird comparison I know. There’s also the option to work while doing a PhD in fields such as education and clinical trials, which seems cool.
Enough about me! Now for the good stuff. 8)
doggo
I have hundreds of doggo pics, but for now, please enjoy this poor quality picture. :) He doesn’t really like having his picture taken but he gave me the okay to uploading this one. (https://i.imgur.com/YHM4HeI.jpg)
Here’s a quote I got when first trying to write this entry from the browser extension Momentum (comes up with a new quote and a stunning picture of a location around the world each day):
“Define success on your own terms, achieve it by your own rules, and build a life you’re proud to live.”
Remember - you've come so far. Have a look at what you've achieved this year alone! Only a little bit of this year to go! Keep at it :)
Have a great week everyone! :)
Entry #3
We are approaching exam season. For me, this is the turbulence before the hopefully smooth landing. It’s a scary time for some, exciting for others, and possibly a mix of both, but in a few short weeks, we will have completed exams, while learning a lot about ourselves and our subject(s) along the way.
I’ve only started revising properly for my 3&4 exams this week, which has left me wondering if I’ve left it too late. Better late than never! Spent a lot of time last week doing my 1&2 homework. Chem took a while because they gave us a plethora of work, but I’m sure it will be worth it for the upcoming SAC.
I regret to inform you that a lot of this entry broadcasts my Negative Nancy state of mind (why did whoever come up with this saying use the name Nancy? I’m sorry to any Nancys out there). If I’m being honest, it feels like absolute crap going through my notes and flashcards for psych and realising that some of them really suck. One of those particularly awful flashcards was on the limitations of Selye’s GAS model (basically a one-size-fits-all model of the three-stage physiological response to stress). On the back of that flashcard, it had two limitations that I could understand clearly, and then,
“RATS!”
I had to ask my sibling who is also doing psych what I meant by that! At least I’ll remember now that Selye generalised his model to humans after having rats as his participants, who do not have key psychological and environmental experiences that are unique to humans like how we interpret situations.
What I’ve learnt about taking notes: don’t blindly take them from the textbook or PowerPoint (especially not the PowerPoint). I need to work on making my notes more succinct and perhaps using more of an active recall strategy to take them (although this takes a lot of time) as in learn the info and write it in my own words without looking at the textbook so much. At this stage, I think some of my SAC responses are better than some of the flashcards I made. Oh well, you live and you learn.
tl;dr of how I am feeling rn
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
There’s always the fear of failure that lingers in my mind, that no matter how hard I try, I’ll just never get to where I want to be. The majority of the time, this isn’t true. It isn’t helpful either and is just another idiosyncrasy. Trying to remind myself that action is very likely to overcome my fear. It’s such a simple and obvious thing, but because catastrophic thinking has become a staple go-to in my mind, it’s something I forget.
How amazing is it that the neurons and neurotransmitters in our brains are physical structures that give rise to our consciousness? Or, in a general sense, how atoms make up every structure in our body and most of who we are?
Stay safe, stay groovy, stay funky. :)
whys 🦁🐗
Hey whys! Thank you so much for your message. It made me feel so much better! All the best with exams :)
Time for an update considering I just had the Psychology exam.
Last night, my fight-flight-freeze response was activated approximately three times. It was just after 10 o’clock when I decided to go to bed and unbeknownst to me, my neighbour decided to take their bins out right before the eleventh hour. So, as dogs do, mine barked. And barked and barked and barked. Great way to start a night of rest.
Before that though, there was plenty of stress.
“What happens if I do so poorly on the exam, like the 2019 one?”
In the weeks and months before the exam, I felt a tinge of urgency and fire in me, that served as a reminder that the exam was imminent and signified its importance.
However, that wasn’t there today.
I woke up, took my overnight oats out of the fridge, pet my dog and ate.
It definitely did not feel like an exam was imminent. That might explain why I wasn’t very nervous waiting to go into the exam hall.
Entering the exam hall, I took my seat at the back corner, where one of the supervisors sat behind me. When reading time began, I opened the exam and read the first page of Section A and went straight to Section B.
“Oh! A question distinguishing the sympathetic nervous system and the spinal reflex! Maybe that was a homage to the question last year about Finn and his somatic nervous system and how that the actions he undertook weren’t of a spinal reflex.
The paper goes on.
The obligatory research methods question. Other questions that I can’t remember so clearly what they were. Then we reached the 10 marker. The 10 marker was about research methods. Of course it was.
When writing time began, I started with multiple choice and was almost pleasantly surprised about how it was somewhat easier than the 2019 exam. Some questions tripped me up a little as there wasn’t really a clear answer, but we’ll see when the exam report comes out (which will take aaages).
Went through Section B. Wrote stuff. Overwrote for some questions, underwrote for others. Wasn’t certain about really any of my answers, given the nature of VCAA’s marking.
With Section C, I wrote about the main ideas the paragraph presented. Probably no where near enough for it to be a good response, but maybe it could have been enough for an okay response?
Time flew by and before I knew it, there were five minutes left. I finished a sentence right before one of the supervisors told us to put our pens down.
I came out of that exam feeling like I hadn’t just done an exam. It suddenly felt so insignificant to me, like it didn’t count for anything. Like I felt when I did the GAT. Maybe it was the multiple choice sheet being the same. I felt numb. Okay, maybe I had an inkling that I did well. But usually when I think I did well, I do crap. My friend who has almost full-marked the subject said the exam was hard which probably means she’ll do amazingly well, if you go by all the past 50ers at my school and at other schools.
I didn’t really want to mention scores on here, because I’ve definitely let myself down this year with what I’ve achieved. My study score goal (and perhaps ATAR goal) probably won’t be in reach, unless some sort of miracle happens (or I’m a bit lot more consistent with my revision). This year has been a good lesson. No matter how bad I do, the lessons I learnt at the end are more than what a good study score could ever bring.
In saying that... I just want a 38 to get into UMEP Psych so that I can help my degree a little. The grade boundaries will probably be higher this year, but we’ll see what happens.
Just can’t believe or comprehend that it’s over.
Good luck to those of you who have upcoming assessments :)
T&S 🐼
Your incredibly kind and uplifting message pulled me through for the HHD exam. Thanks for your reassurance and advice.
Entry #5
I tried to make this one short, but it ended up being a lot of word vomit. Apologies in advance.
re: HHD exam. The exam itself was reasonable and it lacked the abstract elements of the 2019 exam. Hardly anything on the SDGs and nothing on the work of the WHO (U4 AOS 2). Although, my answers were lacking depth and clarity. Didn't get to finish the eight marker either (there was no ten!) so would be lucky if I even got 3/8.
I "only" got ~5 hours of sleep the night before the exam, mainly because it was hot and I lay awake with the realisation that I had an exam tomorrow with X amount of hours to revise before I had to arrive at school at 2:30. Not ideal before an exam, and I know this could have been alleviated with more prep.
I walked into the exam room, smiling at the supervisors albeit through my mask, to MASK the tremendous uneasiness I was feeling (it helped that one of the supervisors was my primary school principal and he recognised me after five years). I wanted the feeling of adrenaline that I got before my first SAC. The eustress, not the distress. It wasn't eustress sadly, but I felt a wave of relief when I opened the exam to find quite a generic health and wellbeing question that set the tone for the rest of the exam. Seeing that question made me feel 1000000 times better. I kept an eye on the clock, but only had just over 10 minutes to spare to write my 8 marker. I ended up writing mostly dot points and snuck in all three of the source materials in a quite poor fashion. If only I had time, that could have been the difference between one study score and another one a few points higher.
The two-and-a-bit hour exam flew by, and a wave of relief hit me when it was over. That is the reason why I left the exam room with a smile on my face, even though I knew that I didn’t perform as well as I hoped. My teacher had a few chats to the class about trying our best and being happy with the outcome. That was my overarching goal for the whole year – try my best and do “well” (what even is well anymore?) and I knew that I was an example of someone who almost gave up before the exam and stuffed it up. Next year, the goal is still to try my best and have no regrets. I think after this experience of doing two 3&4 subjects, I’ve grown to be more determined to overcome my fear of failure and use my perfectionism standards to my advantage. I don’t want to put off work or study anymore because, “it’s too hard and I won’t do it to a good standard” or “I won’t do well anyway so there’s no point in trying”. I’d rather use this uncomfortable-ness to my advantage after seeing the negative consequences of succumbing to the pressures it places on me. There’s still Year 12. Another shot. The whole, “let’s do this” attitude will probably start to fade around the middle of Term 1, where I will be bombarded by SACs and my spirits will be dampened a bit. And that’s normal. I’ve got my avoidance strategies that I must use wisely – the playlists, reading, talking with my psych, maybe exercise, journaling to put things in perspective, spending a bit too much time on social media (including AN :P)… and of course the approach strategies of organisation and setting habits around studying. Okay, I think I’m referring to psych a bit too much in this journal. Miss it.
Also had a chat to my HHD friends, mostly comprising of Year 12s. That day was most likely the last day I would ever see a lot of them. It was bittersweet. There’s still social media and time to catch up with them in 2021, but without the common interest of HHD. Everyone who was in that class has a story and are talented in many different ways. I’m sad I’ll never get to sit in a classroom with them again :(
Looking towards the future, this week is head start / ignition into Year 12 week. The subjects I picked (for now) are English Language, Biology, Chemistry, Methods and Further.
I had a chem lesson today, and was almost clueless. That’s my punishment for missing a redox lesson due to study leave :D
I also had a further lesson and am still unsure about whether I want to do it next year. It’s a very different style of maths to methods. I will miss algebra, the weird and wonderful graphs and the breadth of the content. Methods is a whole new world. I’ll probably never need to know how to anti-differentiate an equation or anything like that in my life, but I know it would be an amazing feeling to strive for mastery in methods and maybe even come close. Maybe the decision of which subject to keep will become easier to make after I have methods tomorrow. You can't judge a subject from Chapter 1 of the textbook.
JerryMouse2019
Time certainly does fly! Don't you just miss the Mathletics days?! Did you have a cool avatar with the animated backgrounds?
whys
Thank you so much whys! Congrats on finishing Year 12 and enjoy your well-deserved break! :)
homeworkisapotato
Hey! Thanks for your kind words! Congrats on completing bio this year :) So glad to have another Year 12 buddy on AN! :)
Bri MT
You’ve just got me wondering why we use the log to find pH! I’m planning on doing units that might not / don’t seem like they use methods-y style maths but I wouldn’t mind if they do! There’s always the option for me to take the methods equivalent subject at uni. Thanks for your input :)
Evolio
Thanks so much Evolio! Congrats on completing Year 12! Have a great break :)
angrybiscuit
Thank you, angrybiscuit! Right you are :)
Hi everyone!
Firstly, Happy New Year! Can’t believe 2020 is over. :)
The only things I wanted to know on results day were my GAT results. Alas, they will remain unknown for the time being :(
There have been two moods I’ve been experiencing: apathy and a desire to persevere, learn more and do better than this year. I’ve been feeling apathetic about results and school ever since I finished those exams. I’m so drained and I don’t know if I ever want to do an exam ever again. At the same time, I’m nervous and excited to start Year 12. Nervous because of all the content, the SACs, the exams and potentially not achieving my goals but excited to go through Year 12 and learn a lot.
Here's a low-down on how results day went for me.
Got up at 3am. Got up at 6am. Wasn’t because of nerves, because I wasn’t nervous at all. After some coaxing from my parents, I went onto the website. Saw my GA 3 for Health. Cried. If it weren’t for my SAC marks, I would’ve done worse. When anyone asks me for advice for health, I feel like I shouldn't be giving it. Yet, I know where my shortcomings were in my approach to the subject, which mainly occurred around exam time. And I know what I could've done to do better. The feeling of regret is not very nice.
If you had asked me at the start of the year whether I would be happy with the scores I received, I would have said,
“Hell no.”
This will probably stay a score free journal, but… I got higher than the 38 needed to get into UMEP Psych so hoping I can get in! Not sure what to expect from the program. Not sure how hard it is to get a H1 or H2A.
I’m actually okay with my psych score now haha (it’s not great but not that bad IMO) but big regretz for HHD. My SAC scores and ranking had the potential to get me a better score than what I ended up with, but oh well hahaha. Just a number. I still have five subjects to do next year (and hopefully I can score higher than what I did this year)!
For me, 2020 has been a great learning experience and test of resilience.
me in 2020
(https://i.imgur.com/NMAAw0i.jpg)
Good thing that I’ve come up with strategies now to be able to (almost) not relate to this meme?! Maybe I’ll write a guide on this as an unqualified person
Goals for next year:
Read a book a fortnight – I really want to get back into reading and I happened to have 26 books lying around on my shelf. My goal is to read them all and then donate them and buy a Kindle. Don’t get me wrong, nothing beats physical books but a Kindle will save a lot of space.
Exercise every other day for at least 20 minutes a day – I was pretty sedentary this year, but found that going for a walk / dancing around my bedroom helped boost my mood a bit.
Use my spaces wisely – desk for studying, bed for sleeping, floor for procrastinating. Not bed for studying, desk for sleeping!
Actually drink enough water - to stay alive and thrive
Live in the moment – this one’s less concrete than the others, nonetheless important.
useless ramblings about uni courses and careers (read at your own risk haha)
The generalist degree I’ve wanted to do for a while is Science (A biomedical science major) / Arts (Psychology) at Monash. Now I’m reconsidering doing psych at Monash after hearing bad things (e.g. poor faculty organisation, inconsistency in marking, etc.). I don’t think I want to be a psychologist, but rather study it because I’m passionate about it and use the major as a pathway to teaching psych. There’s also the option of doing some sort of student wellbeing / counselling thing alongside teaching. I could always do a minor in psych and major in something else in the arts component anyway.
I’ve also thought about whether or not I should do an undergrad “career” degree. Don’t really want to do a Bachelor of Education because I’d like some life experience before going straight back into the classroom and try other things before I decide what I really want to teach. I’m also considering nursing and other healthcare careers but I know that as much as I want to do something in healthcare, I have a passion for teaching and secondary teaching (plus careers counselling) is probably what I’ll end up doing. This is why I might just do a generalist degree straight out of high school.
There are things that are holding me back from even pursuing a career in the fields I’m interested in, such as my level of coordination, my people skills and whether I’ll actually enjoy the careers / be good at them.
So, here are the courses I’m considering (no particular order) – the ones with asterisks are the ones I'll have as backups (and they also feature quite a bit of pathophysiology which I find so fascinating).
Sci / Arts @ Monash
Med @ Monash
Nursing / Midwifery @ Deakin or Monash
Nursing / PsychSci @ Deakin
Sci @ Monash – major in psych and dev bio / physiology, minor in another biomedical science or a language or philosophy or linguistics and/or go on exchange
*Biomed @ ACU (This course has core requirements in ethics and philosophy which sounds cool!)
*Health Sci (majoring in biomedical sciences) @ Swinburne (yay to anatomy and physiology!)
Arts / MTeach @ UniMelb (has some cool fields of study and exchange partners. Would probably transfer to Science though, even though the uni probably won’t let me keep the MTeach)
Congratulations to everyone who’s graduated high school / uni / received results this year! So, so proud of you for pushing through in this odd year.
Thank you to all the wonderful ANers for the year on the forum that was! Wishing you all an excellent 2021 :)
insanipi 📚
Hey insanipi! There's something about physical books that makes them special! I've seen a few street libraries in my neighbourhood, which are pretty cool (but some of the books in them are not really my taste). Thanks for your kind words! I regrettably haven't made much time to read (because VCE :() but I'll start with a nice fiction book to ease myself into it. I hope your reading challenge continues to go splendidly well! :)
whys 🦁
Thanks for your reassurance and support, whys! You have a way with words and making people feel at ease. Have a great year ahead ^-^
Sine 📐
Thanks so much Sine! I sure hope so. Hope your 2021 is going well so far :)
Evolio 🌊
Evolio, thanks so much! Congrats on completing Year 12 (and doing super well), especially in a year like last year! I wish I could say the same about the water (but seriously, this is a sign to go have some haha)! Wishing you all the best for this year ^-^
Entry #I-lost-count-but-it’s-likely-to-be-a-single-digit
Yo,
On the ATAR Notes forum, there are plenty of options to spice up your posts. Despite it being centered around the Australian education system, the code, "[colour]", is not valid in the all too marvelous BB code. Together, we must stop this! In this essay I will
A friend asked me the other day if I was going to update this journal and there were plenty of voiced hesitations on my end. This is because: a) a few people from school have caught onto it and figured out my identity (hi, people from my school!), b) I feel like I’m going to look back on this and realise how poor my writing is; the cohesion is questionable, and c) I might be boring people. It's interesting how much language shapes identity. I never want to write in a way that makes me come across as a piece of, you know shit.
How's school so far? Fantastic. Keeping afloat, sort of. There are always thoughts that threaten to poke holes in my boat. The feeling-like-an-impostor business (even so outside of school). My brain ridicules me with stories like the, “My teachers think I’m stupid and weird and incapable,” story and the “When are you going to crash the car?”* story. I just need to keep reminding myself that I need to see the thoughts for what they are – words - and defuse them considering they’re not helpful. I need to be careful on the road and give schoolwork my best shot. If it turns out that I do end up not being happy with my score for my subjects, it is okay. Not the end of the world. As long as I can get into a uni course. I just want to go to uni already! Although, I know I'll high school. I am using too many ‘I’ statements eek.
In school, my teachers have been embracing the flipped learning model. The upside of this is that I can try to understand the content at my own pace (especially for chem) and then my teacher can go through the “highlights” of each chapter, yet I kinda miss passively sitting in a classroom, writing notes. Learning via simple diffusion. EngLang, on the other hand is great because my teacher gives us real life contemporary language examples to analyse (e.g. things from social media or the street). Additionally, for the time I put in to learn the content at home and do practice questions and notes, I feel like the workload is a lot. It seems as though it takes me a bloody long time to do things (e.g. if my goal for a spare period is to read the textbook, do textbook questions and notes, I’ll probably only finish the reading, textbook questions and a tiny bit of the notes at best). I’m slightly behind in chem and bio atm (not how I wanted to start the year! *cue my inner voice screaming, “have I sabotaged myself from the beginning?”*. Catastrophizing is fun!1!). For a subject like bio, it’s hard to know whether or not to trust the textbook (which explains everything in nitty gritty detail). My school’s slides lack a whole heap of detail, and the textbook as well as handouts and notes that the school supplied contradict each other in some aspects. Do I need to know about receptor-mediated endocytosis because you did not teach us that? I’ll figure it out.
Ten hours of sleep seems to be the way to go for me. I haven’t been getting that much sleep because it is difficult to go to bed before nine pm, when you have to wake up at quarter to six. Even then, I felt tired. Maybe it’s time to restart the iron and vit D supplements haha, but I don’t really want to go back to the GP for a blood test to see how my levels are doing. The one who did my venepuncture told me to do chemistry and biology, when discussing doing something in healthcare, so here I am learning about galvanic cells (yay!). Unit 3 chem is a bit conceptually difficult at times, but cool so far. Let’s hope the “cool” part of my opinion doesn’t change after the first SAC in two weeks :/ In short, I miss holidays, even though I was in a frazzled state of mind then. There was a sense of tranquillity, rather than the go-go-go state of mind.
On a more positive note, I’ll be doing UMEP Psych next this year (the people who run the program say it like “you-mep” rather than “U-M-E-P” and it took me a second to realise what they meant the first time I heard)! I’m really excited to get a taste of uni life. Now I feel like I’m quoting the advertising for the program. There’s always the enthusiasm due to the novelty of the experience. Just like how I felt when I got my school student ID card and locker for the first time. It took a while to get a photo for my UoM student ID card because I couldn’t stop laughing for absolutely no reason. Weirdly, my friend who's also doing UMEP had a similar experience. At least we didn’t only have one take after queuing in a line on campus. My phone did airbrush my face a bit, and I only realised after I uploaded the photo.
According to the (potentially outdated) UoM subject reviews for one of the units I'm doing, an assignment for it might be to watch a sunset and write about my perception of it. Nonetheless, the units sound super interesting. Perhaps I'm too enthusiastic and naïve?
As I’ve mentioned too many times, it would be cool to incorporate some psych in my future career, whether that be through teaching it, or using it to understand people. My psych said that they use pretty much none of the theory from their undergrad in their career though :(
Since receiving my study scores last year, I’ve realised how little this all means (don’t want to go too deep into that because existential crises are doom and gloom). Yep, the ATAR is important but there are other ways to get to a particular destination, with the added bonus of getting some life experience along the way. So while I’m going to give it my all (for the most part, I say while procrastinating and rambling), I’ll try not to obsess over the numbers. It’s helpful to know if you’re on track to a certain study score / ATAR, but maybe I should just try my best and leave it up to the VCAA gods to decide my aggregate’s fate.
Anyways, y’all are awesome <3
*Reverse parallel parking or entering a busy roundabout make me slightly apprehensive, but I guess it all comes down to practice. The first time I went around a roundabout (on a deserted road, mind you), someone in a very loud car with a turbo engine came out of nowhere speeding behind me and held their horn. Ahhh, the joys of road rage.
Entry #I-lost-count-but-it’s-probably-a-single-digit-once-again
T&S
Hi T&S, thanks so much for your insight :) The subject sounds very interesting, especially behavioural neuroscience! All the best with third year biomed :)
vehura
Hey vehura! Haven’t done a reverse parallel park yet (and probably won’t anytime soon haha). Parking can be a difficult skill to acquire so hang in there! You can do it :) I’d really love to figure out the sleep thing too :(
Thanks for your kind words! :)
Short update today. Things (for the lack of a better word) have been looking not so great at the moment. Could be better. Will be better?
TW: discussing poor mental health and negativity
I sit here, writing tear-ily (yes, I did turn that into adverb) as I evaluate deliver a negative whine about the bleakness of my everyday life. A few weeks ago, I was in the shittiest of the shittiest part of the rabbit hole.
I’d describe it like driving on the highway with a giant concrete bollard in my way, cars behind me. No way to get out. Either I leave the block there, lift it up myself, get a crane, or drive hopelessly into it, with the idea of it dispelling, yet end up with damage to my car and myself.
The best option here seems to be to get a crane. So I told my psych about this analogy and they said that because I’ve been struggling like this for a while, I might as well go see my GP for further support. I wish I could just rock up to the GP and things could be better. But how do I tell my parents that my psych recommended that I see a GP? In their days, apparently no one struggled with their mental health, or they’d just grin and bear it.
The weird thing I find about seeing a psych is that I feel like absolute crap before, I talk to them, things feel better for a bit and then they come slowly crashing down again. I just want to feel like myself again but it seems like there’s no way out.
The workload of Year 12 so far is quite a bit too. I know a lot of people who are perpetually behind, and I guess I’m one of them. I said I wouldn’t get behind, but here we are. I’m wondering if my lack of responsiveness to schoolwork is because of my mood and that crap, or if my lack of responsiveness to schoolwork is causing my mood. Or if it’s both.
Had a chem SAC last week. It went utterly crap. Isn’t it weird how in reading time, the questions look easy but then when you start to second-guess yourself, they don’t look easy? I had a bit of a panic attack during that SAC and didn’t finish. I disappointed myself and my teacher. Cheers to that! At least I’ve got 4ish more chances to redeem myself?
My school have also encouraged me (more like pushed me) to apply for rest breaks. I was a bit apprehensive at first, but I really hope they help.
Driving induces quite a bit of anxiety for me too. I’m aware why that’s the case. Having mildly bad experiences behind the wheel have been enough to set me over the edge lately.
What have I become? Why am I reacting this way?
There’s also the impostor syndrome. How do I even have a job? How am I a mod? How do I have friends? When will I be seen for what I am and have all those things taken from me?
Thanks for the update!
I have to say, I agree with a lot of your takes on subject colours. Maths is not green. Psych is not blue. I do feel that yellow is a fine eng lang colour (albeit hard to read).
It sounds like things are generally looking pretty up, which is fantastic to hear! :D
Thanks for your reply Bri! :) Glad to hear you agree with my subject colour choices! At least someone does haha.
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I think you gave me the MBB1 almanac! Thanks for the tips. They were spot on. The exam was pretty much how you said, with S&P being the easiest section and BN with the weirdly phrased questions. Some of the questions on the exam were the same as the practice exams, and the exam was open-book which reduced a lot of the pressure! The essay was definitely a good learning experience - it is always good to have marks allocated to the title, references and formatting.
Same!!!!!!!
I'm dying ;D
I hope you feel better soon, Snow Leopard. Iron deficiency at any level is unpleasant :(
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Thanks so much, Nelope! You are too kind :) You are an excellent writer and I love reading your journal! Taking a study break that is longer than the time you spent studying is something I do all of time, I'm sure many students guiltily do the same thing - good old procrastination. Abscscscscisic acid is a cool one too. I just have to clarify something here (social purpose) - Further is green, maths is blue. And English is red. Note the use of the verb "is" :D.
Guess who’s back? Back again? Shady’s back. Tell a friend.
I’d like to start by saying those are lyrics to an Eminem song that popped into my head. Interestingly enough, I've managed to write approximately 11000 words of this journal, so I hope I can translate that effort over to my lab report for my uni subject, which requires a measly 1500 words.
It’s Term 3. Term 3 is almost over. So is winter. Now, I will begin to vary the syntactic length, unlike in English Language, where my sentences are way too long, it is almost impossible to read in one breath. Thank goodness for commas.
Ok, enough of the pre-amble. Lockdown has been challenging, especially with the addition of remote learning. On the flip side, I’ve been able to go to work, which has been refreshing. It’s probably been my main form of social contact during this lockdown, and I’ve been able to get to know the people I work with a bit better because there aren’t too many opportunities to talk while working when serving customers.
So far, I’ve had three SACs – a graphs and relations SAC for Further, a SAC on language variation and identity (AOS 1) for EngLang, and a U4 AOS 1 Bio SAC on evolution and the relatedness between species. I’ll start by saying I finished none of them. Lol. Gone are the days where scoring an A+ on a SAC was a not-so-rare occurrence. Well, people are doing that. But sadly not me. I still have six SACs left though, so there are still opportunities. My school makes Bio SACs notoriously difficult. For the last SAC we did, the average was around 40%. I think the highest mark was in the high 80s or low 90s. I am hoping that I can do decently on the exams to make up for my underwhelming SAC performance in all of my subjects, but at this point, I might have to make some sort of drastic change for EngLang to improve my writing, and I’m not sure what that will be. The only feedback I’ve received from my teacher about this is to “keep writing to improve fluency” and I guess that’s the only thing I can do. Engage in a process of learning the theory and metalanguage thoroughly to improve my understanding --> write --> seek feedback --> take feedback on board and implement in next practice. Other people in my class write so well and they make it look so easy!
my VTAC preferences and ramblings about courses. tl;dr: the picture might be big and i'm still sorting out the bottom preferences
(https://i.imgur.com/Ke8LT2I.png)This year, I’ve been trying to steer away from the numbers and not constantly use ATAR and study score calculators. My first preference needs an 85 (more on that later) and the highest ATAR requirement on my course list is 95/96. It would be nice to be eligible for all the courses on my list based on ATAR and pre-requisites, but I have formulated multiple back-up plans. My first preference is at Monash, and then Deakin and then Swinburne. I’m also considering putting ACU – went on a campus tour and one of the students told me that to them, lecturers and staff seem to be more engaged with the students than some of the larger unis. If I don’t get into any of my preferences, I will put a Diploma of Nursing at a TAFE and then potentially do the Bachelor of Nursing course or a different course. Doing the diploma will save on HECS debt (free TAFE yay) and give me more experience than just doing the straight bachelor degree. Nursing is one of my options, but I am not set on being a nurse. I’m not set on any career at the moment, which is why I have a double generalist degree as my first preference. My plan is to major in physiology/pharmacology and psychology, and do minors in other biomedical sciences. So my version of the course will pretty much be a science degree with extra units.
I put Science second because I can do most of the units that I want to do in Sci/Arts, and with Arts, I can transfer to Science / Arts or dabble into different arts units. Screen and film studies (I don’t know if that’s what the area of study is called) sounds really fun, and so do bioethics and behavioural studies. Plus, I’ve always wanted to be a polyglot. I’m really apprehensive about doing psychology at Monash because although I love psych, I’ve heard about the bell curve thing and other bad things. Next is Arts/Teaching @ UniMelb. I’ve had a decent experience with UniMelb so far. I would probably transfer into science (and take the methods equivalent level maths) to do a physiology / other biomedical sci major. Side note – a thing I’ve found interesting about my uni subject is, if you have a question about the lecture content, you have to ask in the discussion forum for fairness amongst students.
Next is Psych (Honours) at Deakin. Here I can get the APAC accredited psych major and do some electives to do with biomedical science. Health Science (Professional) at Swinburne is one the careers counsellor was advocating for, because of the paid one-year internship. With the course at Swinburne though, I have to choose between the biomedical science major and psychology and psychophysiology major. There’s always the option to minor in psych with the biomedical science major or do a graduate diploma in psychology. That’s why I’ve also put Psych (Honours) at Swinburne to hopefully be able to get the best of both worlds. Nursing/Psych at Deakin is also a course that interests me, but I’m not sure about the nursing part yet, which is why it’s lower down.
As a kid, I used to play teachers with my sister. I also thought that being a spy or a detective would be super cool – I was a curious kid and wanted to solve mysteries 8). I had a class of toys, a whiteboard with all of their names on it and their classroom duties, along with worksheets they could do. I bought about 25 exercise books (which my little cousins are using as scrap paper now haha) and “marked” their work. I never understood why my teachers complained about marking work. Today, there are things that are making me apprehensive about choosing teaching. The first thing is behaviour management. Some teachers at my school don’t even need to nag students to listen, because they respect them. Others seem so out-of-touch with their students, despite trying to incorporate the word “cringe” into their vernacular, and basketball and Among Us into their “brain break” activities. I’d like to build rapport with students, help them understand difficult concepts and foster a love of learning amongst them. I think it would be cool to do careers counselling alongside teaching (and I’d have a lighter teaching load) or do some other career in education before/during/after teaching.
My interest in healthcare careers started later in life, with me first developing an interest in human biology when we looked at the heart in Year 8. How cool is the human body? I later took HHD and really enjoyed it. Joining St John is where I could put a name on the whole “learning about the biology behind diseases” – pathophysiology. I was always in awe of the work that nurses, doctors and allied health professionals do, using their knowledge of the human body and how it works to improve lives for not only patients, but their families. I wondered, “how did that injection the dentist gave me numb the pain before she pulled out my tooth?” or “why does the doctor feel my glands when I have an infection? (we now know the answer, thanks U3 AOS 2 Bio)”. It is so fascinating. There is quite a bit of detective work, with diagnosing disease and performing different tests to aid diagnosis. There are also so many areas within health to work in, ranging from broad to very specialised.
The problem is, with any of the careers I have on my list, I don’t believe that I am capable of doing any of them, even if the passion is there. I’ve always struggled with both fine and gross motor skills and needed a bit of extra help in primary school to get up to speed with my peers (yet my handwriting is still shocking). The inherent requirements for nursing and other health careers include an entire list of fine and gross motor skills. It isn’t impossible for me to learn these skills, but to get good at them, it would probably take a while and more practice than many of my peers. My mum worked in a nursing home when she was my age, and she learnt the hospital corners way of making beds. It isn’t really the hardest skill out there, but it took me a while to get it. Maybe it was her teaching though ;). With teaching, it’s behaviour management, keeping students engaged and improving that is making me apprehensive. There are a lot of different strategies to work around all of these things I’ve listed though, so I guess I’m holding on.
My indecisiveness and the “I-want-to-study-too-many-things” makes me the perfect candidate for a generalist degree. I’m not really considering physio, osteo, chiro and dentistry because they are pretty hands-on (and also not that broad). Nursing, medicine, pharmacy, sonography, diagnostic radiography and psychology are the health professions I’m considering, with a strong consideration towards becoming a nurse practitioner, doctor or psychologist (probably not clinical though). The only uni in Victoria to offer sonography as an undergrad course is CQU, and the first year of the course is online (not entirely my cup of tea). My compromise, as mentioned above, is to do a generalist degree and then postgrad of something. It will give me more time to figure out what I really want to do and mature a bit more before jumping into the workforce. I still have the non-generalist undergrad courses in my preference list because ultimately, I wouldn’t mind doing them.
In other news, I’m in the process of getting an appointment for an ADHD evaluation. Getting a diagnosis would explain a lot, particularly to do with school and study issues. In the meantime, all I can really do is keep powering through as best as I can :) I'm excited for the holidays after exams so I can finally read all the books I've been wanting to read. All 26 on my list, but make that 23.5 because I've read the first three Harry Potter books and I'm halfway through the fourth. Besides reading, I hope to progress with driving, amongst other things.
Hello everybody!
Arty, Geoo, Wingdings, Commercekid, Blueycan and Katie - thanks for the well wishes and support! :)
A tl;dr at the beginning – it did turn out okay. The exams didn’t go too great which was reflected in my study scores, but there isn’t much I can do about it now. I'm so relieved they're over because this exam period was hella stressful.
Today has been a day full of heightened and mixed emotions. I wasn't going to open my ATAR and was just going to get my mum to look at it for me and tell me whether or not it met the lowest selection rank for my first preference. So, this morning, at the grand ol’ time of 7:30am, my mum woke me up and she was the first to look at my ATAR. She started laughing and I was mortified and the suspense was killing me. Apologies for the run-on sentence. It has been a long day. This might be symbolic of my written communication score in the GAT.
I looked at my ATAR to see
Spoiler
A number, to two decimal places, and I think four sig figs ;)
My grandma was more happy with my ATAR than I was, and when I told her, she was elated and jumping up and down with joy. Although, my ATAR was lower than my aunt's ATAR by exactly one point which I was almost as sad about as my GAT scores. Sadly, she has retained the title of 'academic genius' in the family, but she has only had to use her specialist maths knowledge approximately once since she graduated many moons ago, so I don't think she is entitled to flex like that. Some minutes passed and I had an iced coffee, on the recommendation of ashmi, to help me stay awake (ashmi, if you're reading this, it was an excellent suggestion).
My study scores were not too shabby but I know I’ve let my teachers down. Here is a break down of how I felt about my study scores:
EngLang: 😭😭😭 – I thought I did a lot better in the exam than I actually did. The score itself isn’t too bad, but I’m still disappointed.
Bio: 🙂 – okay, but not great. I’m happy my SACs scaled to As and A+s, did not expect that.
Chem: 😶 – could’ve done a whole lot better but I got bang on my shitty prediction. Despite it being my lowest raw study score, it made my bottom two. Should’ve asked for help more in chem and maybe I would have understood some of the Unit 4 stuff a bit better.
Further: 😐 – considering how the exams went, I’m pretty happy with my score, although of course there is a tinge of disappointment and the whole 'I could've done better' sentiment'.
UMEP: 4.0 – got this result the week of finishing my final exam and I’m happy with it, despite not starting off my uni experience with two HDs, or H1s in UniMelb world. It isn’t too hot of a score, but for the amount of work I did for it, I’m happy.
GAT scores: I don't know them.
Past me would’ve been disappointed in my performance and being someone who is usually deemed a high achiever, there was a lot of pressure to get a super high ATAR. However, present me is content and willing to accept lower than that. Despite not cracking my goal of 98 (that, I will tell you), I can reflect on the flaws in my performance this year and (try to) avoid making the same mistakes in uni. My ATAR is high enough to get into my first preference, which, in the grand scheme of things, is all that matters, even though there will be a part of me that will always scream out that I did shit. I don't think I'll rejig my preferences now. Science and Arts feels like the right combo for me at this point in time, although that could change later. I'm eyeing a transfer into Science and Commerce, or a single degree in Science or Arts. Monash, here I come?
Onto the next chapter now. Hope it’s a good one overall. I'm hoping that once this long break is over, I'll be ready to get back into the swing of studying, riding the bumps along the road.
Thank you for being there for me throughout this journey. From the supportive messages to being an overall awesome presence on the forums, thanks for being a wholesome community and an integral part of my VCE experience. A special shoutout in particular to the admins, mods and fellow Class of 21ers :)
Signing off,
lm :)
(Whether that's an 'l' or an 'L' is up to you :)))that was a lowercase L and an uppercase L