Post by: The-Cambridge-Student on March 22, 2015, 07:49:43 pm
I’d like to begin this week’s post with a reminder: In an AOS essay, you are writing about an Area of Study, not a text. To some this may seem obvious and to others this statement might appear widely incorrect, but let me explain. I’ve seen many, many people make the mistake of forgetting to establish a thesis about Discovery, and in the case of people who took the HSC in my year, Belonging. It’s easy enough to do when the clock is ticking and you’ve memorised ten quotes that you’re determined to cram into your paper, however, everything you include in an AOS essay MUST contribute to the thematic ideas about your Area of Study that you have established in your introduction and in the topic sentence of the relevant paragraph that you happen to be writing. Your marker will think it’s fabulous that you’ve remember five different techniques from that really long Shakespearean speech, but unless you immediately tell them why they should care and pepper your analysis with relevant references to certain types of Discovery…they can’t give you full marks. Remember: You are studying a text to mine it for evidence that supports ideas about Discovery, NOT the other way around.
In your introduction, you need to establish the argument that you will be making. This premise will be sustained through out the essay, so make sure you chose at least two or three aspects of discovery that allow you to develop a sophisticated textual exploration. If a question asks you to make a judgement, it can be helpful to do so in the first line. E.g. For Belonging, I might begin my introduction by stating:
To a large extent, belonging in an innate feeling which stems from making choices that allow an individual to either reconcile a dichotomy of personal morality and a dominant culture, or attain an enlightened understanding of connection to self through introspection.
From here, I would introduce my texts and their authors before explaining why (and sometimes briefly how) the composers of the novel, film or poem I was studying examined this concept in their work.
Before I show you examples of how I structured my paragraphs, I would like to point out that I tended to separate most my analysis of texts into separate paragraphs. I would usually include at least one or two integrated paragraphs, however, but I know some people prefer to use either one structure or the other. As a general rule, a combination of both methods is often appropriate, however, as a teacher once told me, “when in doubt, it’s better to integrate.”
In the topic sentence of your first paragraph, you need to establish a conceptual point about Discovery (in my case, Belonging) that will be explored in the following lines. From here, you need to include your evidence, technique, analysis and link (in other words, PETAL). Although this sounds formulaic, your paragraph doesn’t have to be wooden. By integrating quotes into your analysis and paying careful attention to pointing out exactly WHY composers use specific techniques to elicit responses from the viewer/reader, you will significantly improve the quality of what you are writing. Here are some examples from my Belonging essay that received full marks:
Individuals who value autonomous thought and rationality will choose to risk personal authority or belonging to abide by their own code of morality and vision of decent conduct. Set in the 1950s during a period of history when exposure of communists and “red sympathisers” had become a dominant fixation of the American psyche, in Good Night and Good Luck, protagonist Edward R Murrow, a prominent journalist, asserts that he and his fellow Americans will not be “driven by fear into an age of unreason” thus alluding to amounting climate of hysteria. Preferring to avoid connotation with ‘emotion’, director George Clooney’s use of the word ‘unreason’ appeals to rationality and thus communicates a more powerful political statement. Nevertheless, extreme close up shots of Murrow in calm contemplation and extended periods of silence are symbolic his determination in the face of potential isolation within an authoritarian society. Unshakably ethical, Murrow’s allusion to the words of an iconic ancient Roman figure when he states “Cassius was right, the fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars but in ourselves” embodies his understanding that responsibility to prevent hysteria and uphold principles of democracy resides with every individual. Hence Murrow sacrifices belonging to an amoral majority in order to uphold the principles of autonomy and freedom of thought supposedly integral to American identity.
In my final sentence, I’ve linked the analysis that I've written to the aspect of Belonging established in the topic sentence. For the next paragraph, I’ve drawn a comparison to ensure that my essay has continuity, but I’ve also extended the previous idea explored:
In a similar way, when personal morality is not aligned with powerful members of a group who represent the collective authority, individuals may retain personal integrity by choosing to reject a dominant ideology or culture and willingly sacrificing a sense of communal belonging. Introduced as a man “not easily led” with a “sharp and biting way with hypocrites” the character of John Proctor is shown to value autonomy and independence of thought. Through authorial intrusion Miller conveys that “in Proctor’s presence a fool felt his foolishness instantly”, hence establishing a source of grievances against Proctor and foreshadowing his fate when he writes that such a man was “marked…for calumny”. Proctor’s consciousness of existent injustice is evident when he uses personification to describe “vengeance” as “walking in Salem”; yet the low value he places upon himself as a consequence of committing adultery with Abigail Williams is an impedes his ability to take to take action and regain his sense of personal belonging. A “sinner, not only against the moral fashion of the time, but against his own vision of decent conduct” with a “magistrate” inside his heart, the strength of Proctor’s low self-worth is reinforced by biblical allusion and the motif of judgement. Nevertheless, despite initial reluctance, when his wife Elizabeth is made of a victim of a “whore’s vengeance”, Proctor casts aside his good name in an attempt to illuminate ‘the truth’. Confronted by hostile accusations and the possibility of execution, Proctor is tempted to submit to external pressure that is place upon him to “lie and sign (himself) to lies” in order to save his life and attain a false sense of communal belonging. Ultimately, he chooses not to implicate his loyal friends and thus recognises that “shred of goodness” resides within him. In doing so, Proctor dies a martyr to misguided religious conviction having actively chosen to reject the fallacy of Salem’s court.
Furthermore, here is an integrated paragraph:
Individuals who represent the collective authority may discard integrity in favour of personal prejudice or agenda. In a display of preoccupation with dominant ideology, the character of Deputy-Governor Danforth in Miller’s The Crucible states “a person is either with this court or he must be counted against it”, thus reinforcing an “us” and “them” mentality responsible for fuelling suspicion and mob mentality during 17th century Salem Witch trials. Asserting that “we burn a hot fire here; it melts down all concealment” Danforth alludes imagery of hell to discourage intimidate ‘dissenters’. Similarly, the film Good Night and Good Luck director George Clooney employs accurate archival footage of Junior Senator McCarthy a man famous for his persecution of communist members and sympathisers during the 1950s as head of the Un-American Activities Committee. In doing so, the character of McCarthy is provided with an opportunity to ‘speak for himself’ and thus discredit his own integrity. Asserting that ideological challenger Edward Murrow is a “leader of a jackal pack” McCarthy’s forceful dehumanisation of his critics is symbolic of extreme moral sacrifice authority figures are often willing to make in order to maintain power.
Your conclusion should return to the ideas mentioned in your introduction and extrapolated through out your essay. Articulate exactly how you have answered the question that has been given to you, and try to do so in a reflective manner if you can! There’s only one cardinal rule: don’t introduce any new ideas.
That’s all from me for now :) feel free to ask questions below, and good luck!
- Caitlin
Other Guides:
How to Write a Module C Essay
How to Write a Module B Essay
Writing an English Advanced Module A Essay
Creative Writing - Advice from a Cambridge Uni Student
How to Write an English Extension Ways of Thinking Essay
Post by: Chloe1206 on March 23, 2015, 06:33:50 am
Just wondering if you could outline how to study appropriately for the AoS exam? In essence, what should we know, how many quotes should we have, should we have a practice essay etc? Greatly appreciated :)
Post by: elysepopplewell on January 27, 2016, 07:30:00 pm
I can see that you did your HSC last year so this isn't of great use to you right now. ATAR Notes is making its NSW debut this year and I'm replying to both apologise, and to answer your question for future visitors to this post because I know a lot of people want to know the answer to your question!
A prepared essay is always awesome because it means that you have played around with different words, different perspectives regarding discovery, different parts of the text and you have analysed what they mean. If you find that you can create an essay that is broad yet succinct and original, run with it. I highly recommend having a prepared essay because it gives you the opportunity to receive feedback throughout the year and not just when you formally submit the essay in an exam. Furthermore, from the first time you submit work from AOS, your prepared essay evolves into a body of work that you feel comfortable taking into the HSC and adapting to the question.
Remembering that AOS is not text based, but concept based, you need to have a thorough understanding of the nature of discovery beyond what your topic sentence will say. This way, you can easily adapt your ideas about discovery to an essay question that might be providing a different spin on discovery than how your essay approaches it. Your understanding of discovery as a whole will help you with this. The best way to understand discovery in its many forms? Create as many "concept" statements as you can (these are essentially the biggest ideas expressed in an essay), and then read as many concept statements as you can. If your essay is limited to the perspective of discovery being a catalyst for affirming views (note: never limit your essay to this alone), you at least have a few different perspectives about discovery being transformative or challenging up your sleeve and ready to whip out. This part here isn't about memorising though. This bit is about understanding.
The next part is a little more memorising based. I felt confident going into my exams with a memorised introduction opening, and memorised topic sentences/ concept statements for each of my paragraphs. So, if your introductory concept statement is broad enough, you shouldn't have a hard time remembering your topic sentences to follow because they should be the young children born of the mother statement. There is usually a common thread through all of these. When I say memorised, I use the term loosely. If you feel comfortable with every single word memorised, that works well because you can spit the words onto the page via your pen without having to think. If you are remembering key terms of the topic sentence and are entering without your concept "memorised" but instead, understood, you may find it very easy to adapt to the question, but you may find that you waste a small amount of time scraping through your memory for that perfect syntax you expressed in the essay sitting at home.
As for text related stuff - you have to remember the quotes. I could remember quotes easily because I made an enormous effort of committing them to memory at the beginning of the course (for AOS) and then at my half yearly, my trial preparation, in my trial and approaching my HSC exams, I was only refreshing my memory. I also tried to use quotes that had atleast two techniques attached. This way, each quote was fully loaded with technique and the effect it had so that my words were succinct and my evidence was strong. A quote for the sake of a quote stands out like a pimple on the end of your nose on the day of your last ever school photo. Although that flimsy quote gives you word length, it doesn't give you any strength, and has the potential to threaten the integrity of the paragraph.
Essentially, in terms of understanding: understand discovery and its potential ramifications (challenging, affirming, transforming, etc). In terms of memorising: have a good go at memorising your concept statements for your introduction and paragraphs. These need to be flexible to the question, but a strategically created statement would work seamlessly with a plethora of essay questions. In terms of what you DEFINITELY need to memorise: your quotes and the attached technique and its effect. Your understanding of the text in relation to discovery should carry the "effect" part across the line without too much memory work, but the memorising of quotes and technique will stimulate your understanding of this in the exam.
Sorry we didn't get back to you sooner Chloe. As for the current and future students, ask away! We are always happy to help out and with a stronger online presence in 2016 and beyond, you will be sure you receive assistance.
Post by: Reece7Burton on March 11, 2016, 12:43:09 pm
Post by: elysepopplewell on March 11, 2016, 06:19:05 pm
Hi, I have an english discovery module essay to complete and I'm struggling to come up with a thesis statement for: Discuss how discovery can affect people in different ways. My texts are rainbow's end (prescribed) and the ex-child soldier advertisement for western sydney university. I was wondering if you could help with this?
"Discuss how discovery can affect people in different ways."
Okay, very cool. Let's look at some words from the syllabus.
"Discoveries can be fresh and intensely meaningful in ways that may be emotional, creative,
intellectual, physical and spiritual. They can also be confronting and provocative. They can lead us to new
worlds and values, stimulate new ideas, and enable us to speculate about future possibilities. Discoveries
and discovering can offer new understandings and renewed perceptions of ourselves and others.
An individual’s discoveries and their process of discovering can vary according to personal, cultural,
historical and social contexts and values. The impact of these discoveries can be far-reaching and
transformative for the individual and for broader society. Discoveries may be questioned or challenged
when viewed from different perspectives and their worth may be reassessed over time. The ramifications
of particular discoveries may differ for individuals and their worlds."
Here are some ideas that I'm coming up with, of course, you will need to add or remove words depending on what suits your purpose. I'm going to pop these up here as examples of how thesis statements should be written, and hopefully they help you!
"An individual's personal context may contribute to the way a discovery is received."
"The impact of an emotional discovery may be owed to the individual's original ideological stance."
"Discoveries have the capacity to be transformative of perceptions."
"Although two individuals may undergo the same process of discovery, the transformative nature of their discovery may impact them differently."
"The provocative and confronting nature of discoveries mean that they may have a deeply personal and varied effect between different individuals."
I also suggest that every essay starts with two thesis statements, one that you always plan to use whatever the essay question is, and one that is adapted to the question. This gives you more discovery ideas to flesh out in your response so that you aren't repeating yourself over and over. Furthermore, it shows that you know your stuff about the nature of discovery!
Post by: katherine123 on March 16, 2016, 10:47:17 am
What i did was 1 pargraph on the character Gwen and 1 paragraph on Tom and 1 parargraph on the character from my related text. I don't really want to change my essay and im not sure what to do :/
Post by: elysepopplewell on March 16, 2016, 03:58:47 pm
Hi im doing an essay on away and do people normally do 1/3 on related and 2/3 on the set text (away). My teacher said I HAVE to do 1/2 on related text and 1/2 on set text.
What i did was 1 pargraph on the character Gwen and 1 paragraph on Tom and 1 parargraph on the character from my related text. I don't really want to change my essay and im not sure what to do :/
For an internal assessment, you have to play to what the marker wants. If your teacher is the marker, you'd be crazy to go against your teacher's advice! So for this assessment, do not deviate from what your teacher is saying you "HAVE" to do!
As for your external exam at the end of the year, you have to do what you truly think is right and how you feel most comfortable writing. I'm with you, I give more weight to my prescribed text - this is the first time I've heard of anyone saying do 50/50! I'm curious about why your teacher is suggesting this - perhaps it is to strengthen your ORT understanding to ensure that you don't let that go to the wayside. If your teacher is your marker, do what they say to optimise your chances of great results :)
Post by: katherine123 on March 17, 2016, 10:51:10 pm
paragraph1: Gwen's whole process of discovery
paragrah 2: The necklace: character's loisei before and during discovery
P3: Tom's whole process of discovery
p4: The necklace: the character's loisei's effect of discovery
Is it good to split the process of discovery into 2 paragraphs for my related text on the character Loisei
Initially i have 3 paragraphs in total so each captures their whole process of discovery but now i have 4 so im not sure how to split it
Post by: elysepopplewell on March 18, 2016, 02:13:50 pm
My structure for my essay on away (set text) and 1 related text (the necklace):
paragraph1: Gwen's whole process of discovery
paragrah 2: The necklace: character's loisei before and during discovery
P3: Tom's whole process of discovery
p4: The necklace: the character's loisei's effect of discovery
Is it good to split the process of discovery into 2 paragraphs for my related text on the character Loisei
Initially i have 3 paragraphs in total so each captures their whole process of discovery but now i have 4 so im not sure how to split it
This sounds like it would work to me! However, it does depend on where you take it up to in the second paragraph. For example, you wouldn't just put the first part of Loisei's discovery after Gwen's unless it had similarities to Gwen's that you could link, or the end part of the "before and during" of Loisei's discovery linked then to Tom's process of discovery.
Integrated structures aren't just to show you can switch between texts. You only use them to make connections between the texts, explicitly showing the correlation at different points.
If you aren't making connections with Gwen and Tom to Loisei, then I suggest that you combine Loisei's discovery in one and do not use an integrated structure. In saying this, I always recommend integrated structures, if you choose to complete it properly by drawing really great connections :) If you aren't going to make clear connections that make the structure make sense, then take it back to three paragraphs :)
Post by: bethjomay on July 21, 2016, 11:32:24 am
I hope this is the right forum to post on, but I am just looking for some general advice for finding and explaining techniques in my AoS essay. My set text is The Tempest and techniques is the area I consistently get marked down for (I'm an advanced english student)! Thank you! :)
Post by: elysepopplewell on July 21, 2016, 01:43:11 pm
Hey ATAR Notes!
I hope this is the right forum to post on, but I am just looking for some general advice for finding and explaining techniques in my AoS essay. My set text is The Tempest and techniques is the area I consistently get marked down for (I'm an advanced english student)! Thank you! :)
Hi there! Are you having trouble understanding the effect of a technique - or explaining that effect in your own work?
If you haven't already, make your way over to the Area of Study essay marking thread, and have a look at how other people studying the Tempest have handled their approach to technique explanation. Soo many people study the Tempest there, so you should find some ideas. But by all means, let me know specifically what you are struggling with and we can look into working it out :)
Post by: bethjomay on July 21, 2016, 01:54:22 pm
Post by: elysepopplewell on July 21, 2016, 04:16:09 pm
Thank you! I am mostly having trouble finding/understanding the links between techniques and discovery! Like, how does a certain symbol actually aid the idea of discovery in a text? :)
Awesome! Okay, so there are a number of ways to look at this. For me, I looked at discovery in stages.
First stage: the environment that lead to the discovery.
Second stage: The plot/actions that lead to the discovery
Last stage: How the discovery impacted the individual.
So for the first stage, I described the techniques in the setting that described it as a place that gave rise to discovery.
The second stage, I'd be talking about the facial expressions of those in the documentary, the close up shots, etc, and how this showed the moments the discoveries were realised. So on, so on.
If you don't want to do it in stages, you can look at something like this:
Character goes through hard time, (technique: metaphor for sadness, motif, whatever it may be).
Character has an epiphany, as conveyed by the author through the use of pathetic fallacy.
Therefore, the hard time (metaphor) lead to the epiphany (pathetic fallacy) which lead to the discovery of...
This is completely hypothetical, but it shows how you don't have to describe the exact moment of discovery, but the lead up to it as well.
Alternatively, you could look at discovery's impact. So comparing the way a character has changed since before and after the discovery to talk about the meaningful impact of discovery..
Essentially, don't think you have to talk about the moment of discovery only. You can talk about what caused it, what it was like in the moment of discovery, or afterwards. There's a lot of scope with this to talk about various stages of discovery :)
If you're looking for an example, my essay can be found here.
But like I said, definitely check out the marking thread for other Tempest students to see how they have approached the techniques.
Post by: bethjomay on July 21, 2016, 04:22:30 pm
Post by: elysepopplewell on July 21, 2016, 05:03:42 pm
Ok thank you! That's really helpful! 😊Let me know if you're at a loss again! Or, you could post a few sentences to see if you are on the right track and I can give you my thoughts :)
Post by: Aliceyyy98 on July 23, 2016, 05:51:36 pm
I am doing Robert Frost poems for the area of study, I was just wondering if it's recommended to analyse three poems in hsc? if so, can I discuss three poems but only analyse my related text twice? finding it a bit hard to fit into the word limit :)
Cheers
Post by: jamonwindeyer on July 23, 2016, 11:46:34 pm
Hi！
I am doing Robert Frost poems for the area of study, I was just wondering if it's recommended to analyse three poems in hsc? if so, can I discuss three poems but only analyse my related text twice? finding it a bit hard to fit into the word limit :)
Cheers
Hey there Aliceyyy! I did Skrzynecki for my AoS which was also poetry ;D I would suggest a minimum of two poems, and yep, ideally three to really give the depth you need ;D remember though that you can actually discuss all of the poems together as a single 'text,' I did this in my HSC, and it meant I could pick the best quotes from every poem as I saw fit!! It worked well for me personally ;D
That idea notwithstanding, if you did do three poems, then yes you can then analyse your related text twice! This creates a 60/40 split, which is what I normally recommend as the furthest "swing" towards your prescribed text ;D
Post by: elysepopplewell on July 24, 2016, 10:46:21 pm
Hi！
I am doing Robert Frost poems for the area of study, I was just wondering if it's recommended to analyse three poems in hsc? if so, can I discuss three poems but only analyse my related text twice? finding it a bit hard to fit into the word limit :)
Cheers
If you do want to talk about the texts as a whole, like Jamon suggested, you can use the beautiful word: oeuvre.
I definitely think talking about specific texts in detail is important. If you wanted to talk about two or three in detail, for example, there's nothing wrong with mentioning a fourth poem just for the purpose of emphasising a point expressed in another poem. You don't have to deeply analyse every text you talk about. Rather, deeply analyse two or three, and then only if it suited your argument, you can bring in another briefly. My suggestion is to talk about the oeuvre on top of the two or three deeply analysed poems!
Post by: Aliceyyy98 on July 25, 2016, 12:11:10 am
If you do want to talk about the texts as a whole, like Jamon suggested, you can use the beautiful word: oeuvre.
I definitely think talking about specific texts in detail is important. If you wanted to talk about two or three in detail, for example, there's nothing wrong with mentioning a fourth poem just for the purpose of emphasising a point expressed in another poem. You don't have to deeply analyse every text you talk about. Rather, deeply analyse two or three, and then only if it suited your argument, you can bring in another briefly. My suggestion is to talk about the oeuvre on top of the two or three deeply analysed poems!
Could you give me an example on how to use the word in a sentence please! :D
Post by: jamonwindeyer on July 25, 2016, 12:26:47 am
Could you give me an example on how to use the word in a sentence please! :D
I studied a collection of poems by Peter Skrzynecki for my AoS, in which case the sentence would go:
The impact of cultural alienation on an individuals sense of self worth is clearly conveyed through effective poetic technique Skrzynecki's oeuvre.
More commonly, the word is used to describe the entire collection of works by the composer, kind of like say, the discography of Coldplay encompasses all of their studio albums ;D if you are uncomfortable with the word, I used the word anthology for Skrzynecki's collection of poetry, because they were all from a single collection ;D if your poems are all from the same collection, then anthology would also work ;D
Post by: elysepopplewell on July 25, 2016, 07:18:02 pm
Could you give me an example on how to use the word in a sentence please! :D
"The theme of youth is prevalent in all aspects of Yeats' oeuvre."
"The oeuvre is characterised by a tone of reflection."
"The oeuvre of Yeats has been admired by students historically and in contemporary times."
:)
Post by: Aliceyyy98 on July 26, 2016, 12:55:09 am
"The theme of youth is prevalent in all aspects of Yeats' oeuvre."
"The oeuvre is characterised by a tone of reflection."
"The oeuvre of Yeats has been admired by students historically and in contemporary times."
:)
Thank you so much!
Post by: elysepopplewell on July 26, 2016, 01:03:43 pm
Thank you so much!
That's ok! It's a nifty little word to have up your sleeve.
Post by: kmorritt on July 28, 2016, 01:30:51 pm
Whats the percentage distribution that you would advise in a AOS essay between prescribed text and related text?
Moderator Action: Merged Posts :)
Post by: elysepopplewell on July 28, 2016, 11:43:14 pm
Thankyou so much, this is really helpful and easy to understand :)
Whats the percentage distribution that you would advise in a AOS essay between prescribed text and related text?
Moderator Action: Merged Posts :)
Some people suggest 70-30, (which I tend to think is a bit low), others 60-40. I think 60-40 is closest to being perfect in terms of balance. Admittedly, I got pretty close to 50/50 for balance between the two at times. I tend to think that as long as your related text doesn't overtake your analysis of your prescribed text, then you're all good!
60/40 should be your aim, I think! :)
Post by: Justina Shehata on July 28, 2016, 11:54:08 pm
I will be using two of the poems in particular for my essay; however, I wanted to ask, can they give you a specified one to talk about in the trials. I am doing catholic trials by the way.
Also, how many related texts would I need; one or two?
Thanks!
Post by: jamonwindeyer on July 28, 2016, 11:56:14 pm
Hey! I wanted to ask: I am doing Frost's poems for AOS.
I will be using two of the poems in particular for my essay; however, I wanted to ask, can they give you a specified one to talk about in the trials. I am doing catholic trials by the way.
Also, how many related texts would I need; one or two?
Thanks!
Hey Justina! For AoS, they won't specify (because everyone gets the same question for every text), and they won't ask for more than one ORT, so just one for AoS is great! ;D
Post by: sudodds on July 29, 2016, 12:16:00 am
they won't ask for more than one ORT, so just one for AoS is great! ;D
What!!??!! Our teacher made us pick and study three related texts from both discovery and Module C! Ughhh what a waste of time! So if they ask for "at least one" you aren't expected to do two (that is what my teacher told me)?
Thanks!
Post by: jamonwindeyer on July 29, 2016, 12:49:40 am
What!!??!! Our teacher made us pick and study three related texts from both discovery and Module C! Ughhh what a waste of time! So if they ask for "at least one" you aren't expected to do two (that is what my teacher told me)?
Thanks!
Definitely not!! I mean you can, and it may be advantageous, but what it means (and this is me relaying my teachers comments, and I agree with them wholeheartedly) is that they want a really good amount of ORT. Do one ORT, and do it very well ;D
If they wanted 2, they'd ask for 2! That can happen in Module C, but never in AoS ;D
Edit: Despite popular belief, BOSTES won't ever expect anything from you unless they ask you to do it ;)
Post by: sudodds on July 29, 2016, 12:52:30 am
Definitely not!! I mean you can, and it may be advantageous, but what it means (and this is me relaying my teachers comments, and I agree with them wholeheartedly) is that they want a really good amount of ORT. Do one ORT, and do it very well ;D
If they wanted 2, they'd ask for 2! That can happen in Module C, but never in AoS ;D
Edit: Despite popular belief, BOSTES won't ever expect anything from you unless they ask you to do it ;)
Ughhhh I'm so annoyed right now hahaha, thank you for clearing that up for me though! At least I know now and I can just focus my attention to one of my related texts :) Thank you!
Post by: jamonwindeyer on July 29, 2016, 01:09:48 am
Ughhhh I'm so annoyed right now hahaha, thank you for clearing that up for me though! At least I know now and I can just focus my attention to one of my related texts :) Thank you!
Not a problem! So wait, what did your teacher say? That they can ask for 2 ORT's in AoS?
I mean look, they could, but they've never done it before and they would be screwing everyone over. Hell, even if they did, use one of the unseen texts from Section 1!! I highly recommend knowing one ORT for Module C, and another for AoS, and that's heaps :)
Post by: sudodds on July 29, 2016, 08:26:24 am
Not a problem! So wait, what did your teacher say? That they can ask for 2 ORT's in AoS?
I mean look, they could, but they've never done it before and they would be screwing everyone over. Hell, even if they did, use one of the unseen texts from Section 1!! I highly recommend knowing one ORT for Module C, and another for AoS, and that's heaps :)
They said they could ask for three! Though they did say that was rare.
Post by: jamonwindeyer on July 29, 2016, 12:28:58 pm
They said they could ask for three! Though they did say that was rare.
That's intense! Three is impossible, I'll happily eat the shirt I'm wearing right now if doing 3 is mandatory any time soon 8)
At the end of the day, they have to enable Standard and Advanced student to access the essay. Doing 1 is probable, doing "at least one" is possible, but then just do one really really well! ;D
Post by: jamonwindeyer on July 30, 2016, 08:38:02 pm
Hi ive attached my creative! i just need help with thinking of a way to enhance my discovery to make it more meaningful because i feel like it is abrupt as Ive put it at the end.
Hey there! Thanks for posting your creative, welcome to the forums!! Be sure to let me know if you need anything ;D
Unfortunately you have not met the posting requirements to receive feedback on your creative from one of the markers. We have a post exchange policy in place to make sure the service doesn't get too clogged (essay marking rules available here). It is 15 posts per creative piece, so if you hang around the forums for a bit, ask a few questions and have a chat (make your first post here if you like), then you'll get there really quick! Then when you are there you can post your Creative in our Creative Marking Thread to get some formal feedback ;D
That said, feel free to chat to us a bit about your story in the mean time and we might have some general suggestions to help you out! ;D what sort of discovery concept are you pushing, what is your premise? ;D
Post by: MarkThor on July 31, 2016, 12:18:14 pm
they won't ask for more than one ORT, so just one for AoS is great! ;D
My teacher told me to have 2 Related Texts prepared for discovery in the Trials. Is it true that they can only ask for 1 ORT?
Post by: elysepopplewell on July 31, 2016, 12:34:46 pm
My teacher told me to have 2 Related Texts prepared for discovery in the Trials. Is it true that they can only ask for 1 ORT?
Sorry I'm coming in with a correction here. They CAN ask for two related texts and they HAVE done it before, but it happened before you or I entered High School. There's no document that says that they won't ask for two related texts. If we look at trends of past papers, they only ask for one all of the past years (except 2008 or 2009...I forget which year it was off the top of my head). There's nothing wrong with having two related texts prepared incase they ask for two. And especially if you're doing a school-made trial paper and your teacher is telling you to use two related texts, then I'd take that as a good hint. As I've said before, I didn't thoroughly prepare a second related text. I always thought, if I get to the HSC preparation and I have time, I'll do another text. But, who has time in their cramming? So I decided that I would use one of the unseen texts from the start of paper one as my second related text if that's the case. Jake and I both recommend that you spend at least ten minutes of your study time before exams considering how you would structure an essay with two related texts, because there are a few ways.
Post by: katherine123 on July 31, 2016, 01:01:45 pm
Post by: elysepopplewell on July 31, 2016, 02:11:10 pm
are there any sample answers and tips on how to answer the unseen texts for area of study?
My top suggestions are:
1. Try finish reading all of the unseen texts in the reading time
2. Remember to relate each and every response to discovery. If this means you need to make your own mini thesis statement for each one, that's cool!
3. Using an obvious technique isn't a bad thing, especially if you're pairing it with an awesome analysis.
4. In your preparation, think about what the techniques of visual and literary texts are that gel with you the most. I have friends who could spot a metaphor from a mile away, but they hadn't refreshed visual techniques in a long time and couldn't spot the most obvious vector line. So give yourself a refresher on them :)
Post by: jamonwindeyer on July 31, 2016, 02:40:47 pm
are there any sample answers and tips on how to answer the unseen texts for area of study?
5. Be smart with how much time you give to each! Don't write half a page for a 2 marker, don't write an essay for a 3 marker, don't get stuck and write 2 sentences for a 5 marker, etc etc ;D a few sentences for 1-2 marks, a body paragraph for 3-4, extended response (don't go too far above 2 pages) for 5-6 ;D
Post by: amandali on July 31, 2016, 03:41:06 pm
can u give a sample answer for the ques : comment how the poet uses the metaphor of hand to represent an aspect of discovery 3 marks
thanks
Post by: elysepopplewell on July 31, 2016, 04:06:47 pm
(http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20160730/623fdca4ed81a7ded07cd72090a63518.jpg)I'm 100% honest when I say I'm really unsure about this text, it would definitely throw me in an exam. Poems are always my weakest point in the unseen texts, I just really feel like you need more than a few minutes to understand a poem! After reading it twice (I'm not letting myself google for the purpose of trying to simulate an exam) I'd run with the idea that the hand is a metaphor for herself. I'm focusing this on the last stanza more than the hand in the first stanza.
can u give a sample answer for the ques : comment how the poet uses the metaphor of hand to represent an aspect of discovery 3 marks
thanks
I can't give you an exact sample response as such, but I can suggest this approach:
Sentence one: Thesis
Sentence Two: Identify what the hand is a metaphor for
Sentence three: explain how and why
Sentence four: link to thesis.
I always start my unseen texts with a bit of a mini thesis. Something like "Individuals may have to experience hardship to discover the respect they have for themselves." Then my second sentence will say that the hand is a metaphor for the narrator. Explain how, by saying that she is "saluting" "each other" and treats the hand as a third person, because mind and body are connecting because of the hardship (the hardship is reduced to her cutting herself on a knife when she was younger, but the second last stanza kinds of draws it out to life in general) and then my last sentence would kind of just round that off, seal the deal, reiterate what I'm trying to express, and that's all!
How have you interpreted the hand? My interpretation isn't the only one :)
Post by: Sssssrr on August 01, 2016, 10:07:36 pm
thanks so much
Post by: elysepopplewell on August 02, 2016, 01:48:36 pm
hi, I'm studying the tempest as my prescribed text for discovery. If i were to explore the idea of colonisation, how could i link that to the rubric and to discovery.
thanks so much
Hey! I don't know the Tempest well enough to know much about the colonisation aspect of it. Do you mind giving me some more details about how colonisation is part of the Tempest? Who does it influence? Does it change opinions?
Immediately, I think this is a planned action...that potentially lead to a planned or unplanned discovery? Which do you think? The planned/unplanned nature comes from the rubric!
Post by: Sssssrr on August 02, 2016, 03:16:37 pm
Post by: elysepopplewell on August 02, 2016, 04:47:03 pm
well basically Prospero, who symbolises the coloniser, takes caliban as his slave. Caliban is the native of the land, however he is perceived as a savage and thus is displaced of his rightful land. so i was trying to explore the implications of colonisation on indigenous, and the moral ambiguity of colonising 'new' lands, however i was struggling to link this idea back to the rubric. thanks for your help
Mmm, tricky. Ok, I tend to think that the best way of approaching this is copying and pasting the rubric into here, with all creds to BOSTES of course.
Discovery can encompass the experience of discovering something for the first time or rediscovering
something that has been lost, forgotten or concealed. From what I know, I don't think this describes the situation because the colonisation didn't come with a lost, forgotten or concealed nature. Discoveries can be sudden and unexpected,
or they can emerge from a process of deliberate and careful planning Which one applies to Propsero's actions, do you think?evoked by curiosity, necessity or wonder. Discoveries can be fresh and intensely meaningful in ways that may be emotional, creative, intellectual, physical and spiritual. They can also be confronting and provocative By the sounds of it, this applies. The confronting or provocative nature seems to fit because usually colonisations aren't taken lightly.. They can lead us to new
worlds and values Does the moral ambiguity fit here?, stimulate new ideas, and enable us to speculate about future possibilities. Discoveries and discovering can offer new understandings and renewed perceptions of ourselves and others Does anyone learn something about themselves or someone else through the colonisation?.
An individual’s discoveries and their process of discovering can vary according to personal, cultural,
historical and social contexts and values. The impact of these discoveries can be far-reaching and
transformative for the individual and for broader society. Discoveries may be questioned or challenged
when viewed from different perspectives and their worth may be reassessed over time This seems to be the most relevant to me, based on what I know. I'm sure the perspective on the colonisation would be different when looking at it through Propero's lens, as opposed to Caliban's lens.. The ramifications of particular discoveries may differ for individuals and their worlds.Again, this one seems relevant. The ramifications may be: loss of home, loss of identity, renewed perceptions, moral doubt, etc.
By exploring the concept of discovery, students can understand how texts have the potential to
affirm or challenge individuals’ or more widely-held assumptions and beliefs about aspects of human
experience and the world. Through composing and responding to a wide range of texts, students may
make discoveries about people, relationships, societies, places and events and generate new ideas.
By synthesising perspectives, students may deepen their understanding of the concept of discovery.
Students consider the ways composers may invite them to experience discovery through their texts
and explore how the process of discovering is represented using a variety of language modes, forms
and features.
What do you think? I tend to think there are at least three strong areas for development there. Let me know your thoughts!
Post by: Sssssrr on August 02, 2016, 10:25:45 pm
Mmm, tricky. Ok, I tend to think that the best way of approaching this is copying and pasting the rubric into here, with all creds to BOSTES of course.
Discovery can encompass the experience of discovering something for the first time or rediscovering
something that has been lost, forgotten or concealed. From what I know, I don't think this describes the situation because the colonisation didn't come with a lost, forgotten or concealed nature. Discoveries can be sudden and unexpected,
or they can emerge from a process of deliberate and careful planning Which one applies to Propsero's actions, do you think?evoked by curiosity, necessity or wonder. Discoveries can be fresh and intensely meaningful in ways that may be emotional, creative, intellectual, physical and spiritual. They can also be confronting and provocative By the sounds of it, this applies. The confronting or provocative nature seems to fit because usually colonisations aren't taken lightly.. They can lead us to new
worlds and values Does the moral ambiguity fit here?, stimulate new ideas, and enable us to speculate about future possibilities. Discoveries and discovering can offer new understandings and renewed perceptions of ourselves and others Does anyone learn something about themselves or someone else through the colonisation?.
An individual’s discoveries and their process of discovering can vary according to personal, cultural,
historical and social contexts and values. The impact of these discoveries can be far-reaching and
transformative for the individual and for broader society. Discoveries may be questioned or challenged
when viewed from different perspectives and their worth may be reassessed over time This seems to be the most relevant to me, based on what I know. I'm sure the perspective on the colonisation would be different when looking at it through Propero's lens, as opposed to Caliban's lens.. The ramifications of particular discoveries may differ for individuals and their worlds.Again, this one seems relevant. The ramifications may be: loss of home, loss of identity, renewed perceptions, moral doubt, etc.
By exploring the concept of discovery, students can understand how texts have the potential to
affirm or challenge individuals’ or more widely-held assumptions and beliefs about aspects of human
experience and the world. Through composing and responding to a wide range of texts, students may
make discoveries about people, relationships, societies, places and events and generate new ideas.
By synthesising perspectives, students may deepen their understanding of the concept of discovery.
Students consider the ways composers may invite them to experience discovery through their texts
and explore how the process of discovering is represented using a variety of language modes, forms
and features.
What do you think? I tend to think there are at least three strong areas for development there. Let me know your thoughts!
i think your last point on the differing ramifications works best with the related text I've chosen. Thank you so much, this was really thoughtful and helpful.
Post by: elysepopplewell on August 03, 2016, 10:48:15 am
i think your last point on the differing ramifications works best with the related text I've chosen. Thank you so much, this was really thoughtful and helpful.
Perfect! If you're looking for some more inspiration for the Tempest, it might be worthwhile looking at our AOS essay marking thread to look at how other people have approached the Tempest + the rubric! :)
Post by: caitie145 on August 03, 2016, 05:21:32 pm
i was wondering with the AOS essay if we should have themes like revenge or love or if we should just stick with proving our thesis?
Thanks !
Post by: studybuddy7777 on August 03, 2016, 05:25:44 pm
hey !I'm certainly no elyse ;) but i would think that the purpose of the aos essay is to prove your thesis (which in turn proves the question. Remember you can agree or disagree with the statement)
i was wondering with the AOS essay if we should have themes like revenge or love or if we should just stick with proving our thesis?
Thanks !
If you put in themes like revenge or love that would be not only hard to do but give you very little, if any, positive recognition.
Just my view on things. ;D
Post by: elysepopplewell on August 03, 2016, 05:38:53 pm
hey !
i was wondering with the AOS essay if we should have themes like revenge or love or if we should just stick with proving our thesis?
Thanks !
As studybuddy has suggested, it may limit your scope in terms of discussing discovery. You could certainly talk about love being a theme that is accentuated by discovery, for example. Or revenge being a motive for discovery. But the aim of the essay is not to compare themes, but rather to dissect what discovery means and is, and you can do that by linking it directly to another theme. But discovery must be the most prevalent theme in that essay! :)
Post by: brenden on August 03, 2016, 05:56:50 pm
are there any sample answers and tips on how to answer the unseen texts for area of study?Congrats on 100 posts!!
Post by: studybuddy7777 on August 03, 2016, 06:05:21 pm
Congrats on 100 posts!!
Noone congratulated me on my 100th post :'( :'( ;)
I think favouritism should be a bannable offence ;D
Post by: jamonwindeyer on August 03, 2016, 08:46:37 pm
Noone congratulated me on my 100th post :'( :'( ;)
I think favouritism should be a bannable offence ;D
Ahaha you got there before we could blink!! ;D
Post by: ktleeeee on August 07, 2016, 07:25:10 pm
I just have a quick question. Our set text is the poetry of Robert Frost, and our teacher recommends writing about 2 poems in an essay, however she also says our set texts and related need to be 50% each. I usually do a paragraph on each poem and one on my related. Is this appropriate, as I find it difficult to match what my teacher wants?
Post by: jamonwindeyer on August 07, 2016, 07:53:00 pm
Hi!
I just have a quick question. Our set text is the poetry of Robert Frost, and our teacher recommends writing about 2 poems in an essay, however she also says our set texts and related need to be 50% each. I usually do a paragraph on each poem and one on my related. Is this appropriate, as I find it difficult to match what my teacher wants?
Hey! I have a quick answer ;)
So your split right now is 66/33 in terms of Prescribed to ORT. This is good, but most markers would comment on a slight imbalance, unless your ORT paragraph was quite long and quite dense, which can throw structure off. It is certainly better to try and achieve a more direct ratio, but I know that is hard. What you have still works well ;D
To get the 50/50 split you are after, your options are:
- Write two paragraphs on your ORT
- Write an integrated response
Integrated responses construct paragraphs around ideas/themes, rather than texts. Then, your poems and ORT are all discussed in the same paragraph. It still leaves the chance for imbalance, and it is a tough thing to do, but usually the result is better in terms of Prescribed/ORT split ;D
I can tell you a bit more about an integrated structure if you like, but to keep it simple, writing another paragraph on your ORT might be something to try? Something like Poem 1 - ORT - Poem 2 - ORT might work well for you ;D
Post by: ktleeeee on August 07, 2016, 08:50:00 pm
Hey! I have a quick answer ;)
So your split right now is 66/33 in terms of Prescribed to ORT. This is good, but most markers would comment on a slight imbalance, unless your ORT paragraph was quite long and quite dense, which can throw structure off. It is certainly better to try and achieve a more direct ratio, but I know that is hard. What you have still works well ;D
To get the 50/50 split you are after, your options are:
- Write two paragraphs on your ORT
- Write an integrated response
Integrated responses construct paragraphs around ideas/themes, rather than texts. Then, your poems and ORT are all discussed in the same paragraph. It still leaves the chance for imbalance, and it is a tough thing to do, but usually the result is better in terms of Prescribed/ORT split ;D
I can tell you a bit more about an integrated structure if you like, but to keep it simple, writing another paragraph on your ORT might be something to try? Something like Poem 1 - ORT - Poem 2 - ORT might work well for you ;D
Haha, thanks for the answer! ;D
In an integrated response, may I ask you to elaborate on the structure. It sounds like something that would work well with my ideas, as I currently write Poem 1, Poem 2, ORT, repeat, with each set running on the same line of ideas/themes. In each paragraph I'll liken each text to one another based on this one idea and explain the differences, so in the end an integrated response may be the way to go.
For now I'll try your simplified suggestion, but any help would be appreciated :)
Post by: jamonwindeyer on August 07, 2016, 10:41:36 pm
Haha, thanks for the answer! ;D
In an integrated response, may I ask you to elaborate on the structure. It sounds like something that would work well with my ideas, as I currently write Poem 1, Poem 2, ORT, repeat, with each set running on the same line of ideas/themes. In each paragraph I'll liken each text to one another based on this one idea and explain the differences, so in the end an integrated response may be the way to go.
For now I'll try your simplified suggestion, but any help would be appreciated :)
Sure! So basically, you take that idea of writing your paragraphs on the same line of ideas/themes, and ditch the separate paragraphs. It all comes together. So, everything you want to say about the theme of relationships, for example, is in the one paragraph. In that paragraph, you have evidence/analysis of all your texts (for you, the 2 poems and the ORT). You have three of these paragraphs, each with a different idea that you want to talk about. So it might be, for speeches, Justice, Equality and Reconciliation. Those three themes (and a more sophisticated approach to them) form the basis for your three paragraphs. Your intro sets those themes up under a central umbrella, called your Thesis (EG - Speeches convey key aspects of humanity, or something), and then your conclusion ties it all together with a nice little bow ;D
An integrated paragraph normally looks like this:
1 Sentence Introducing the Theme/Concept (called a Motherhood Statement/Topic Sentence)
1 Sentence Linking the Idea to your Text(s)
?? Sentences of Analysis of how the Idea is Represented in ALL texts
1-2 Sentences Concluding
Repeat x3, add an intro and conclusion, bake with love, and you have an integrated response ;) that's a super quick run down, if you are interested you should give it a bit of a go and then post it here for some feedback! Just be sure you meet post requirements (click the link in my signature for essay marking policies ;)) let me know if you need anything clarified!
Post by: ktleeeee on August 08, 2016, 03:36:09 pm
An integrated paragraph normally looks like this:
1 Sentence Introducing the Theme/Concept (called a Motherhood Statement/Topic Sentence)
1 Sentence Linking the Idea to your Text(s)
?? Sentences of Analysis of how the Idea is Represented in ALL texts
1-2 Sentences Concluding
Repeat x3, add an intro and conclusion, bake with love, and you have an integrated response ;) that's a super quick run down, if you are interested you should give it a bit of a go and then post it here for some feedback! Just be sure you meet post requirements (click the link in my signature for essay marking policies ;)) let me know if you need anything clarified!
WOW! Thanks for your help. The structure sounds simple enough, so I'll give it a crack.
I can't believe no one has ever taught me about integrated essays before - you're a legend! :D
Post by: bethjomay on August 08, 2016, 05:17:52 pm
hi, I'm studying the tempest as my prescribed text for discovery. If i were to explore the idea of colonisation, how could i link that to the rubric and to discovery.
thanks so much
Hey sssssrr! I also am no Elyse, but I'm studying The Tempest as my set text and I think another interesting way to talk about colonialism in The Tempest is to look at the reaction of Stephano and Trinculo in their discovery of the island and Caliban! Although this isn't a planned colonial act, as such, it is a good commentary on how quickly people will assume roles of power (as they immediately plot to colonise the island for themselves) in the light of new discovery as well as how discovery can change people and their traditional roles - as Stephano and Trinculo are really only a butler and a jester at home!
Hope that makes sense! :)
Post by: jamonwindeyer on August 08, 2016, 06:40:05 pm
WOW! Thanks for your help. The structure sounds simple enough, so I'll give it a crack.
I can't believe no one has ever taught me about integrated essays before - you're a legend! :D
Happy to help! I love integrated responses, they are my bread and butter ;) let me know how you go! ;D
Post by: bethjomay on August 08, 2016, 09:47:03 pm
I was wondering if I could get some help with a couple of specific techniques. Dialogue and intertextuality are both used widely in my related text (Me, Earl and the Dying Girl - Film) and I was wondering how they can contribute to discovery just in a more general sense as I don't feel my links for these are strong! Thanks! :)
Post by: conic curve on August 08, 2016, 09:55:33 pm
Post by: jamonwindeyer on August 09, 2016, 12:24:26 am
Hey Atar notes,
I was wondering if I could get some help with a couple of specific techniques. Dialogue and intertextuality are both used widely in my related text (Me, Earl and the Dying Girl - Film) and I was wondering how they can contribute to discovery just in a more general sense as I don't feel my links for these are strong! Thanks! :)
Hey there! I can lend a hand ;D
So speaking generally, dialogue is something that can have a variety of effects. Using it allows a closer link between the persona and what is being said, it gives the idea a bit more authority. The audience can "hear" the conversation taking place. It's a realism thing (in my opinion, of course there are other interpretations) ;D
Intertextuality is used so that a knowledgeable responder can associate the power of another text with ideas in the one they are reading. The ideas in the other text are automatically positioned with those being presented by the composer ;D so, for example, referencing Shakespeare's Julius Caesar accentuates themes of manipulation and political control. Referencing Harry Potter accentuates themes of love and friendship. So, intertextuality capitalises on the authority of other composers and their conceptual ideas ;D
Talking generally about techniques is a little tricky, but these might give you some ideas! ;D
Post by: jamonwindeyer on August 09, 2016, 12:28:41 am
If your prescribed text for the AOS were a set of poems and your related texts were a set of poems, then how would you write the essay?
Hey conic! I suppose it depends on the question and how many poems you are studying, but you would either do a block response or an integrated response! Block responses have one poem per paragraph, integrated responses discuss all your poems at once under three ideas of your choosing ;D
Any more detail than that totally depends on the question, how many poems, and any time constraints involved might affect your choice too ;D
Post by: conic curve on August 09, 2016, 10:49:24 am
Hey conic! I suppose it depends on the question and how many poems you are studying, but you would either do a block response or an integrated response! Block responses have one poem per paragraph, integrated responses discuss all your poems at once under three ideas of your choosing ;D
Any more detail than that totally depends on the question, how many poems, and any time constraints involved might affect your choice too ;D
Given that english is a very broad subject and that they can ask you anything, anytime I don't know whether or not having a poem as a related and a prescribed text be a great idea. Also I think it would be harder to compose an essay by doing so
If you were to do it though (in an integrated response format) what should the structure be?
e.g.
Poem A +related A
Poem B +related B
Poem C+related A
Would this seem alright?
Post by: bethjomay on August 09, 2016, 10:56:20 am
Post by: jamonwindeyer on August 09, 2016, 01:32:37 pm
Given that english is a very broad subject and that they can ask you anything, anytime I don't know whether or not having a poem as a related and a prescribed text be a great idea. Also I think it would be harder to compose an essay by doing so
If you were to do it though (in an integrated response format) what should the structure be?
e.g.
Poem A +related A
Poem B +related B
Poem C+related A
Would this seem alright?
That would still be a block response, just slightly blended, but it would work well! An integrated response would discuss everything together, every poem you want to talk about in every paragraph. Absolutely, all your prescribed poems would need to be in the paragraph for it to be effectively integrated, but of course that isn't mandatory ;D
All poetry could be a difficult road to go down, just in figuring out where you discuss what, but if it works conceptually/analytically better than your other choices then it is still the way to go. Your ability to answer questions won't be restricted by studying only poetry ;D
Post by: bethjomay on August 09, 2016, 01:46:17 pm
"Shakespeare’s use of supernatural imagery in Miranda’s first encounter with Ferdinand shows the audience that Miranda has not fully grasped Ferdinand’s nature. “What is it, a spirit? I might call him a thing divine.” In this way it is clear that Miranda’s discovery of “The third man that e'er I saw, the first man that e’er I sighed for” is merely based on initial infatuation and wonder, rather than the true implications of a human relationship and thus her discovery although deeply meaningful, is incomplete."
Thank you! :)
Post by: jamonwindeyer on August 09, 2016, 02:15:05 pm
Just wondering if I'm on the right track with a sentence like this in terms of integrating techniques with the concept:
"Shakespeare’s use of supernatural imagery in Miranda’s first encounter with Ferdinand shows the audience that Miranda has not fully grasped Ferdinand’s nature. “What is it, a spirit? I might call him a thing divine.” In this way it is clear that Miranda’s discovery of “The third man that e'er I saw, the first man that e’er I sighed for” is merely based on initial infatuation and wonder, rather than the true implications of a human relationship and thus her discovery although deeply meaningful, is incomplete."
Thank you! :)
This is great! However, the bit I bolded/put in red above is unnecessary textual retell. Remember, don't tell me things about the text and its plot or its characters! Purely conceptual statements are the best avenue, the important bit is the bit in green! However, your integration of quotes into your sentences is superb! Well done ;D
Post by: bethjomay on August 09, 2016, 05:13:25 pm
E.g. Storm as a symbol for social upheaval in one paragraph, symbol for inner turmoil in another.
Post by: elysepopplewell on August 09, 2016, 05:26:10 pm
Do you think I can use the same symbol as a technique in two different points?
E.g. Storm as a symbol for social upheaval in one paragraph, symbol for inner turmoil in another.
Absolutely! If the storm symbol is used several times, you might also look at it as a recurring symbol (increased significance). But, even if it is just an isolated quote, you can use it for different meanings. Great unpacking of the quote!
Post by: bethjomay on August 09, 2016, 05:28:51 pm
Post by: znaser on August 18, 2016, 12:06:22 pm
Post by: jamonwindeyer on August 18, 2016, 01:04:12 pm
In the AOS essay, is it necessary to mention impact on responder? I feel compelled to do so because isn't that the composer's point. To make an impact on the responder and challenge their viewpoints and attitudes etc. But I'm not sure if this will actually improve your mark or not. Thanks ;D
Hey znaser! It is definitely necessary to discuss what the composer teaches the responder about the idea of Discovery, what new understanding they provide through techniques ;D it isn't an audience focused part of the course, but definitely still should be high on your priority list ;D
Post by: znaser on August 18, 2016, 03:58:44 pm
Post by: shazzzzzz on September 10, 2016, 12:00:07 pm
Doing an essay with two poems and one related text has me already pushing my limits (which around 900 -1000 words :'() so an essay with two poems + two or more related texts would be crazy so could you recommend a way in which i could do an essay with more than one related text, keep it a reasonable length and not lose any important content?
Post by: elysepopplewell on September 11, 2016, 11:36:45 am
Hey guys for my discovery essay I'm studying Robert Frosts poems, the two I'm doing are the tuft of flowers and the mending wall - anyways I've written an essay with the two poems + one related text but it's already pretty long and the thing is my teacher wants us to be ready for a question that could ask us for more than one related text.
Doing an essay with two poems and one related text has me already pushing my limits (which around 900 -1000 words :'() so an essay with two poems + two or more related texts would be crazy so could you recommend a way in which i could do an essay with more than one related text, keep it a reasonable length and not lose any important content?
Your teacher is definitely extending you here - which can be stressful, but you might be thanking your lucky stars later on! If you're doing the poems, treat them like the one text. So if you usually give a paragraph per text, just remember that you can do the two poems simultaneously in a paragraph.
If you're doing two related texts, the ratio kind of changes. So, let's say the normal ratio for related text to prescribed text is 40/60. That doesn't change a whole lot if you have two related texts - it just means that you spend 20% of your time on one related, and 20% on the other. If your ratio is more like 50/50, then your related texts will take up like 25% each. The essay doesn't necessarily have to be longer because of the extra related text, or because you're studying poems. It's just about breaking down the structure and dividing it up so that you do justice to everything. I think naturally, the essay will be longer by up to 100 words perhaps with a second related text, because you need to use some extra words to introduce the text and link to it. So that will come about naturally. But, it doesn't mean you have to put in entirely new body paragraphs per se, and instead it might just mean you need to adjust the body paragraphs you have currently. Does that make sense?
To me, it sounds tricky! My strength is digging really deep into a text, rather than being able to pick out the most important parts and connecting their themes to other texts, for example. So it would be tricky for me, this isn't an easy task! But, I think if you shift your mindset to understand that the essay doesn't HAVE to be longer in order to do this, and instead you just need to make all of your analysis really punchy so that you can afford to have less of it per text, then you sound like you have a good deal happening! :)
Post by: Lauradf36 on September 11, 2016, 02:06:07 pm
Like, thinking about the future, assumptions, forming new ideas? Idk
Post by: jamonwindeyer on September 11, 2016, 02:19:14 pm
Thoughts on what the heck "speculation" is referring to in the rubric?
Like, thinking about the future, assumptions, forming new ideas? Idk
Hey! For the reference of others, this is the sentence we are referring to:
They can lead us to new worlds and values, stimulate new ideas, and enable us to speculate about future possibilities.
I'd go with your interpretations! Essentially, it's about exploring how Discoveries can re-shape our perspectives on the rest of our lives, develop new viewpoints, consider new paths (etc.), it links (imo) to self enlightenment ideas ;D
Post by: Lauradf36 on September 11, 2016, 02:30:56 pm
Hey! For the reference of others, this is the sentence we are referring to:
They can lead us to new worlds and values, stimulate new ideas, and enable us to speculate about future possibilities.
I'd go with your interpretations! Essentially, it's about exploring how Discoveries can re-shape our perspectives on the rest of our lives, develop new viewpoints, consider new paths (etc.), it links (imo) to self enlightenment ideas ;D
Ok thanks. It's just so random 😂
Post by: EmileeSmith on September 12, 2016, 10:57:21 am
Post by: lozil on September 19, 2016, 10:18:14 pm
Post by: jamonwindeyer on September 19, 2016, 11:08:40 pm
I'm doing Robert Frost poems, and I'm just wondering what the likelihood would be of them specifying which poems to talk about in HSC?
Hey hey!
In the current exam format, every text gets the same question. So it's impossible for them to specify in the AoS ;D
Post by: fizzy.123 on September 20, 2016, 03:51:29 pm
So far I have:
Para #1: Intro
Theme 1
Para #2: PT
Para #3: RT1
Theme 2
Para #4: PT
Para #5: RT 1
Para #6: Conclusion
Post by: EmileeSmith on September 20, 2016, 04:49:59 pm
Post by: karenc. on September 20, 2016, 04:51:25 pm
can we just talk about one theme or do the hsc markers prefer 2+ themes?definitely at least 2, if not 3.
Post by: EmileeSmith on September 20, 2016, 04:54:57 pm
definitely at least 2, if not 3.
oh thank you
so I need two themes that relates to both texts?
and I don't really understand how to incorporate the theme in the essay
Post by: karenc. on September 20, 2016, 05:02:49 pm
oh thank you
so I need two themes that relates to both texts?
and I don't really understand how to incorporate the theme in the essay
yeah think of an umbrella theme/idea that fits both texts
From personal experience, include quotes that represent the theme and analyse them:)
Post by: EmileeSmith on September 20, 2016, 05:40:37 pm
yeah think of an umbrella theme/idea that fits both texts
From personal experience, include quotes that represent the theme and analyse them:)
Thank you so much !!
Post by: ssarahj on September 20, 2016, 05:49:29 pm
Hi! I was wondering what the best structure for the AOS essay would be?
So far I have:
Para #1: Intro
Theme 1
Para #2: PT
Para #3: RT1
Theme 2
Para #4: PT
Para #5: RT 1
Para #6: Conclusion
That structure looks great to me! I know Elyse used a similar structure to this and it was really effective, it really just comes down to your ideas and your texts. If you have a practise essay using this structure feel free to post it up on the marking forum (once you reach 15 posts) and you can get some feedback :)
oh thank you
so I need two themes that relates to both texts?
and I don't really understand how to incorporate the theme in the essay
Just to clarify: Usually the terms "theme" and "ideas" are used interchangeably so for your essay you need 2-4 ideas depending on your paragraph structure and whether you're writing an integrated response or not. There are quite a few possibilities. So for example, you could use a similar structure to fizzy.123 or you could do something like this:
Intro.
Idea 1 = Paragraph 1 = PT & RT
Idea 2 = Paragraph 2 = PT & RT
Idea 3 = Paragraph 3 = PT & RT
Idea 4 = Paragraph 4 = PT & RT
Conc.
Post by: conic curve on September 20, 2016, 06:21:18 pm
Post by: ssarahj on September 20, 2016, 06:25:13 pm
DO all essays (i.e. AOS, Mod A, Mod B and Mod C all have the same/similar structure?
Not necessarily. By all means you CAN, but often the structure will vary simply because you will have different ideas and different ways of approaching each module, so each essay is going to be very different. It really comes down to figuring out the most effective way of presenting your ideas and the text/s you're going to discuss.
It can be very much a process of trial and error, so do lots of brainstorms and lots of drafts and discuss with your teacher (or here on the forum) to figure out what's going to work the best for your essay.
Post by: fizzy.123 on September 20, 2016, 07:59:29 pm
Post by: conic curve on September 20, 2016, 08:03:46 pm
For my Go Back essay, i have 1000 words and i'm aiming for 1200 words for the HSC exam. So far, i have 2 main themes and each theme has 2 paragraphs (1 for PT & 1 for RT). I don't know where i could add another 200 words because already my paragraphs are really long.. Can someone please guide me? Should i make a new paragraph?
You could make another essay paragraph and talk about another point
Most people usually have 3 paragraphs
Post by: elysepopplewell on September 20, 2016, 08:56:13 pm
For my Go Back essay, i have 1000 words and i'm aiming for 1200 words for the HSC exam. So far, i have 2 main themes and each theme has 2 paragraphs (1 for PT & 1 for RT). I don't know where i could add another 200 words because already my paragraphs are really long.. Can someone please guide me? Should i make a new paragraph?
Do you think you have enough in there as is? It mightn't be necessary for you to go another 200 words! Perhaps you could use the extra time to spend on another part of the exam?
Consider, do your examples need beefing up? Or, do you think that perhaps the 200 words you've spared yourself might come in handy for when the exam question throws something at you?
Personally, I'd be inclined to cut it at 1000 if you can get your point across clearly there :) What do you think?
Post by: jamonwindeyer on September 20, 2016, 09:03:23 pm
For my Go Back essay, i have 1000 words and i'm aiming for 1200 words for the HSC exam. So far, i have 2 main themes and each theme has 2 paragraphs (1 for PT & 1 for RT). I don't know where i could add another 200 words because already my paragraphs are really long.. Can someone please guide me? Should i make a new paragraph?
I think with 1000 words and 4 paragraphs, you are exactly where you need to be. Definitely no need to add another paragraph, perhaps you could add a little more detail to your others? How long are your introduction and conclusion? ;D
Most people usually have 3 paragraphs
Fizzy has 4 paragraphs already ;) and although you are right, this isn't a hard and fast rule! I've seen incredible essays with more than 3 paragraphs, and ditto with less paragraphs (though those were semi-split by text), so it is very much a case of personal preference, even though 3 is normally a good choice ;D
Post by: fizzy.123 on September 20, 2016, 09:07:11 pm
Do you think you have enough in there as is? It mightn't be necessary for you to go another 200 words! Perhaps you could use the extra time to spend on another part of the exam?
Consider, do your examples need beefing up? Or, do you think that perhaps the 200 words you've spared yourself might come in handy for when the exam question throws something at you?
Personally, I'd be inclined to cut it at 1000 if you can get your point across clearly there :) What do you think?
I'm not too sure if i have enough analysis within each paragraph? I've read through it a few times and think there is enough analysis maybe, but i'll wait till i have 15 posts so i can post my essay for you to check! :)
Post by: fizzy.123 on September 20, 2016, 09:09:18 pm
I think with 1000 words and 4 paragraphs, you are exactly where you need to be. Definitely no need to add another paragraph, perhaps you could add a little more detail to your others? How long are your introduction and conclusion? ;D
Fizzy has 4 paragraphs already ;) and although you are right, this isn't a hard and fast rule! I've seen incredible essays with more than 3 paragraphs, and ditto with less paragraphs (though those were semi-split by text), so it is very much a case of personal preference, even though 3 is normally a good choice ;D
My intro and conclusion are about 100 words each.
Post by: jamonwindeyer on September 20, 2016, 09:11:13 pm
I'm not too sure if i have enough analysis within each paragraph? I've read through it a few times and think there is enough analysis maybe, but i'll wait till i have 15 posts so i can post my essay for you to check! :)
Sounds like a plan to me!! But based on this...
My intro and conclusion are about 100 words each.
I reckon you could add 50 words in your introduction, a nice solid 150 word introduction would be beneficial for your conceptual focus!! ;D besides that, perhaps one extra technique/effect in each paragraph? ;D
Post by: elysepopplewell on September 21, 2016, 09:08:51 am
My intro and conclusion are about 100 words each.
This is an addition to what Jamon has mentioned. I try to make introductions and conclusions about four sentences long minimum. Don't sell yourself short on either of these, they are incredibly important. The introduction sets the tone for your essay and the conclusion leaves a taste in the marker's mouth about your work. I usually set up my conclusion something like this:
-Sentence about my thesis
-Sentence about the first text and its argument
-Sentence about the second text and its argument
-Sentence about the essay question to tie it all together.
Obviously this is quite rigid and needs some bending, but you get the point. I find that introductions that are a sentence or two long can let down the essay. If you've got 100 words, you aren't letting the essay down. But, do consider a similar structure to that!
Post by: angiezhang9 on September 26, 2016, 11:01:41 pm
I am still really confused on how I should create points in response to an AOS essay question. I am planning to memorise my essay for the HSC so I am aiming to make my 3 points as adaptable as possible. My text is Go Back to where you came from.
I started off with 3 thematic points (identity, truth, hope).
I then changed my points to 1. how an environment stimulates discovery, 2. how discoveries can challenge an individual's perception, 3. how discoveries can affirm an individual's perception. I did this for trials but the feedback I got was to explore the beginning, process and impacts of the discoveries on the participants.
After trials, I changed my structure to 1. how an environment stimulates discovery ( I discussed the pre packaged introductions of Adam and Raye), 2. the emotional/physical process of discovery (I discussed key scenes such as Masudi family, immigration raids) and 3. The transformative impacts of discovery (changing perspectives of Raye and Adam). However, my teacher suggested that I shouldn't just talk about the prepackaged introductions in one paragraph. She said I should also include their discoveries and show how the discoveries change the participant's beliefs from their introductory videos.
So now I am thinking of changing my points to 1. the transformation of an individual's perception towards themselves, 2. the transformation of an individual's attitude towards others and i am still thinking of a third point.
What is your suggestion on how I should create three, easily adaptable points?
Thanks for your help! :)
Post by: Emerald99 on September 28, 2016, 07:46:30 pm
Post by: elysepopplewell on September 28, 2016, 09:25:01 pm
Hey :)
I am still really confused on how I should create points in response to an AOS essay question. I am planning to memorise my essay for the HSC so I am aiming to make my 3 points as adaptable as possible. My text is Go Back to where you came from.
I started off with 3 thematic points (identity, truth, hope).
I then changed my points to 1. how an environment stimulates discovery, 2. how discoveries can challenge an individual's perception, 3. how discoveries can affirm an individual's perception. I did this for trials but the feedback I got was to explore the beginning, process and impacts of the discoveries on the participants.
After trials, I changed my structure to 1. how an environment stimulates discovery ( I discussed the pre packaged introductions of Adam and Raye), 2. the emotional/physical process of discovery (I discussed key scenes such as Masudi family, immigration raids) and 3. The transformative impacts of discovery (changing perspectives of Raye and Adam). However, my teacher suggested that I shouldn't just talk about the prepackaged introductions in one paragraph. She said I should also include their discoveries and show how the discoveries change the participant's beliefs from their introductory videos.
So now I am thinking of changing my points to 1. the transformation of an individual's perception towards themselves, 2. the transformation of an individual's attitude towards others and i am still thinking of a third point.
What is your suggestion on how I should create three, easily adaptable points?
Thanks for your help! :)
Wowee! You've been suggested a few conflicting things I see!
I think your second structure is perfect! So, to combine this with your most recent structure, I'd make a paragraph about environments being a fertile ground for discoveries. That way, you're taking in some of the work you did earlier in the year, and combining it with what you have now! You don't want to sell yourself short if the essay question asks you to talk about the process of discovery - and an environment paragraph is an excellent way to address the prompt for discovery! How does this sound?
Post by: elysepopplewell on September 28, 2016, 09:25:34 pm
Hi, I was wondering if i should write an integrated essay for discovery?
Integrated between texts or integrated between ideas? What is your current structure?
Post by: angiezhang9 on September 28, 2016, 10:25:43 pm
Wowee! You've been suggested a few conflicting things I see!
I think your second structure is perfect! So, to combine this with your most recent structure, I'd make a paragraph about environments being a fertile ground for discoveries. That way, you're taking in some of the work you did earlier in the year, and combining it with what you have now! You don't want to sell yourself short if the essay question asks you to talk about the process of discovery - and an environment paragraph is an excellent way to address the prompt for discovery! How does this sound?
Thanks so much Elyse <3 you are a massive help
Post by: p2sang on September 29, 2016, 09:11:35 pm
Is there anyway that allows me to quickly understand the question.
I'm doing ESL...
Also I still don't get on how to write a good thesis...
For example,
"An individual's discovery shapes the way they understand themselves and the world around them"
Anyone can help?
I'll be really appreciated
Thanks. :)
Post by: elysepopplewell on September 30, 2016, 08:29:58 am
Im struggled in trying to figure out what the question is asking as well as which part of the syllabus need to be included in my essay ... :(
Is there anyway that allows me to quickly understand the question.
I'm doing ESL...
Also I still don't get on how to write a good thesis...
For example,
"An individual's discovery shapes the way they understand themselves and the world around them"
Anyone can help?
I'll be really appreciated
Thanks. :)
Hey! So when you look at a question, immediately identify the subject noun, the verb (cause, trigger, expect, entertain) and then the type of discovery that it specifies: unexpected, planned, meaningful, transformative, etc.
So with these three things down pat, you can string together a few ideas about what you need to talk about! That thesis statement is great, it's pretty well flawless! Just be ready to bring up a new concept statement on the spot to support that one, based off what the essay question asks of you!
Number one tip for now: Know the discovery rubric as best as you possibly can - know what all the words mean and how they work together. This will help you be able to write on the spot, but it'll also help you to use great terminology!
Post by: Emerald99 on September 30, 2016, 11:51:25 pm
Post by: elysepopplewell on October 02, 2016, 11:03:52 am
Hi me again :P I meant Integrated between texts? What's the difference between integrated between texts and integrated between ideas? wouldnt you integrate the texts based on their similar or opposing ideas?
Usually yes!
Some people do a structure like this:
Paragraph 1: prescribed text and related - one idea
Paragraph 2: prescribed text and related - one idea
Paragraph 3: prescribed text and related - one idea
Whereas some people do
paragraph one - prescribed text
paragraph two - related text
paragraph three - prescribed text
paragraph four - related text
And then they are likely to link the ideas, even though the texts are in different paragraphs. So it's more about a structural thing, because you should always be linking ideas :)
Post by: Emerald99 on October 03, 2016, 11:25:36 pm
Post by: ssarahj on October 04, 2016, 10:37:47 am
Thank you! Also there was a question asking composer's portray the process of discovery through the texts forms and features , how is this shown in prescribed+related? By form and features does it mean the structure of the text and the techniques? For a play what would be the structure ?
Yep you're right, form and features = structure and techniques. :)
For a play you could talk about the structure of the acts/scenes. Maybe there is a cyclic nature to the way the acts are set out? Maybe there's a prologue? Epilogue? Try and think about how the structure adds another layer of meaning to the play ;D
Post by: elysepopplewell on October 04, 2016, 11:38:09 am
Thank you! Also there was a question asking composer's portray the process of discovery through the texts forms and features , how is this shown in prescribed+related? By form and features does it mean the structure of the text and the techniques? For a play what would be the structure ?
Just adding to Sarah's comment, because she's spot on. But I want to put it out there that sooooo often we underestimate the importance of form! It's really important that you give a serious amount of focus to form, and not just content.
Post by: Emerald99 on October 05, 2016, 09:46:09 pm
Post by: jamonwindeyer on October 05, 2016, 10:22:07 pm
Thanks guys! I was also wondering do we have to mention the impact of the discovery on us, even if the question doesn't ask us to? And if have to do we say this discovery impacted me by causing me to revaluate my perspective or something? Are you allowed to say "me," b/c isn't that informal?
Hey Emerald! So you can use that sort of statement, but you just say "impact on the responder" in general, to maintain formality :) just take what you'd say about yourself and apply it to the audience in general! :) as a rule of thumb, never use first person in essays :)
Post by: Emerald99 on October 06, 2016, 09:41:07 pm
Post by: Nicki on October 06, 2016, 09:50:51 pm
i know this is a silly question but i want to ask it anyway haha
what are people predicting the essay question for discovery will be in 2016? i get the rubric is massive so it could literally be anything
i personally feel it will be something to do with ''new understandings'' or ''renewed perspectives'' just based off the fact that many trial papers have this (which isn't necessarily an indicator but maybe thats what teachers or the people who make trial papers think) and also because we are only the second year doing this area of study so they choose something more broad or simpler?
i was just wondering what other people were predicting because i'm really worried it will be something that doesn't fit my text or selection of techniques at all haha
Post by: elysepopplewell on October 06, 2016, 11:13:36 pm
Thanks Jamon:) But do we lose marks if we don't mention the impact of the discovery on the audience?
Nope! Not unless it is specified in the essay question, which I doubt would happen, especially in the second year of discovery being examined. I didn't mention the audience except very vaguely in one point. It didn't hurt my mark :)
hey!
i know this is a silly question but i want to ask it anyway haha
what are people predicting the essay question for discovery will be in 2016? i get the rubric is massive so it could literally be anything
i personally feel it will be something to do with ''new understandings'' or ''renewed perspectives'' just based off the fact that many trial papers have this (which isn't necessarily an indicator but maybe thats what teachers or the people who make trial papers think) and also because we are only the second year doing this area of study so they choose something more broad or simpler?
i was just wondering what other people were predicting because i'm really worried it will be something that doesn't fit my text or selection of techniques at all haha
Honestly, I'd love to predict it or at least have a crack at it! But, because there is only one year of past papers, it's hardly as though we could look at trends and have a guess. If I took the most wild guess in the world, I'd go for the transformative nature of discovery - and that purely comes from me thinking it would be a great question for most texts. I have no idea what the question may be - so don't take this as prophetic! The rubric is created with the intention of being broad, and the texts are chosen in a way that they relate to several aspects of the rubric, so my gut feeling is not supported by anything lol! And to prove how far off I am...I thought the 2015 paper would be about the transformative nature of discovery too ;) It wasn't! lol.
Post by: jamonwindeyer on October 06, 2016, 11:19:13 pm
Thanks Jamon:) But do we lose marks if we don't mention the impact of the discovery on the audience?
No worries! I want to extend on Elyse's answer. So the following is from the marking guidelines for Section 3:
Explores skilfully how the perspective ‘that the process of discovery involves uncovering what is hidden and reconsidering what is known’ is represented in the prescribed text and one other related text
The key word there is represented. Ultimately, it is being represented to the audience. For this reason I think it's really good to include! I agree in that I don't necessarily think it is mandatory for high marks, but it shows that you've carefully considered this part of the rubric. Most of the strong essays I see incorporate the impact on the audience for the AoS :)
Post by: Nicki on October 07, 2016, 10:30:14 am
but thank you for your insight! i really hope its something to do with the transformative nature of discovery i love that stuff hehe :)
Nope! Not unless it is specified in the essay question, which I doubt would happen, especially in the second year of discovery being examined. I didn't mention the audience except very vaguely in one point. It didn't hurt my mark :)
Honestly, I'd love to predict it or at least have a crack at it! But, because there is only one year of past papers, it's hardly as though we could look at trends and have a guess. If I took the most wild guess in the world, I'd go for the transformative nature of discovery - and that purely comes from me thinking it would be a great question for most texts. I have no idea what the question may be - so don't take this as prophetic! The rubric is created with the intention of being broad, and the texts are chosen in a way that they relate to several aspects of the rubric, so my gut feeling is not supported by anything lol! And to prove how far off I am...I thought the 2015 paper would be about the transformative nature of discovery too ;) It wasn't! lol.
Post by: dylan862 on October 07, 2016, 02:25:27 pm
Post by: jamonwindeyer on October 07, 2016, 02:51:03 pm
Is it ok to talk about 1 character in depth or is it better to talk about 2?
Either are fine provided you get a good amount of analysis in!! ;D
Post by: fizzy.123 on October 07, 2016, 08:28:05 pm
Post by: jamonwindeyer on October 07, 2016, 08:47:19 pm
For the AOS essay, whenever i write 'human condition', my teacher asks me to explain it further. I don't understand how to explain that? How do i make it more specific?
Hey! So the definition of human condition: The characteristics, key events, and situations which compose the essentials of human existence, such as birth, growth, emotionality, aspiration, conflict, and mortality.[/i]
So when you are exploring aspects of the human condition, you need to be specific what aspects of the human condition you mean. Inherent human desires; greed, ambition? Commentary on mortality and the nature of existence?
Essentially, the human condition encompasses anything to do with being human, you will need to hone in on exactly what aspect of our humanity you are talking about :)
Post by: kb123 on October 08, 2016, 11:15:41 am
Thanks :)
Post by: justdoit on October 11, 2016, 07:50:53 am
I was just wondering, if I tun out of time to write four points for the essay, can i still get 'good' marks with a 3 ideas
Post by: ailsa on October 11, 2016, 09:54:20 am
I just wrote a practice essay for Discovery with Robert Frost, and I do not feel good about it. I feel like I haven't written enough, that it was messy, and not as coherent as an essay would be if I'd have several days to do it (obviously). I had trouble creating a thesis and sub-points that actually worked with the Q (it was about rediscovering). Anyway, does anyone have tips for writing more, with more detail, in the couple of days that we have? I know, risky, but I want to be able to do my best with what I have :)
Post by: massive on October 11, 2016, 10:55:20 am
The reason is because my related in a sonnet and its so short that it's kinda difficult writing two paragraphs? Any thoughts?
Post by: BPunjabi on October 11, 2016, 11:09:34 am
hey guys quick question, if we only have one paragraph for our related text can it still work (as in get a band 6) or do you need to have 2 paragraphs?
The reason is because my related in a sonnet and its so short that it's kinda difficult writing two paragraphs? Any thoughts?
Im sure you can spit out 2 paragraphs for an essay. Whats your essay called? I can easily write four paragraphs on 'In an Artists Studio'. If you tell me the name of your sonnet, I can help out! There also must be some analysis on the internet you can refer to!
Post by: massive on October 11, 2016, 11:45:12 am
Im sure you can spit out 2 paragraphs for an essay. Whats your essay called? I can easily write four paragraphs on 'In an Artists Studio'. If you tell me the name of your sonnet, I can help out! There also must be some analysis on the internet you can refer to!
HOW CAN YOU WRITE FOUR PARAGRAPHS FOR SUCH A SHORT POEM!!!?? how many quotes/techniques are you using for each??\
Also my poem is called "on first looking into chapman's homer" by john keats, any help would be greaatly appreciated!! :P
Post by: BPunjabi on October 11, 2016, 12:10:31 pm
HOW CAN YOU WRITE FOUR PARAGRAPHS FOR SUCH A SHORT POEM!!!?? how many quotes/techniques are you using for each??\
Also my poem is called "on first looking into chapman's homer" by john keats, any help would be greaatly appreciated!! :P
With in an artists studio, If I was attacking it souly as an essay I would address my composers context and how different ideals appeared for her to write this. i would mention the similies, metaphors, imagery, personification, themes, form and a whole lot of more bullshit garbage. I would talk about the use of Opium at that time and how it distanced siblings and how she is an educated woman in a socially strict society have a negative effect on her poetry. Blah Blah Blah...
Yours is so good my friend. Talk about contexts (political, historical, social), form, audience, tone. Then get into the messy analysis. I have never read this poem and I am absolutely shit at english but Ill have a go.
Picked out in first 20 seconds:
"Apollo" Religious connotation for homer as greek mythology (metaphor/imagery)
"Planet swims into its Ken" (metaphor again)
There find some more...Sorry I dont have much ahah I am tryna memorise my essays. These links should help you heaps though:
http://www.brighthubeducation.com/homework-help-literature/52128-on-first-looking-into-chapmans-homer-analysis/
https://www.cliffsnotes.com/literature/k/keats-poems/summary-and-analysis/on-first-looking-into-chapmans-homer
http://www.shmoop.com/on-first-looking-into-chapmans-homer/summary.html
http://www.enotes.com/topics/first-looking-into-chapmans-homer/in-depth
Post by: senara on October 11, 2016, 12:52:13 pm
Post by: jamonwindeyer on October 11, 2016, 01:12:40 pm
Hi,
I was just wondering, if I tun out of time to write four points for the essay, can i still get 'good' marks with a 3 ideas
Hey! Absolutely, most people will just use three points anyway! Three paragraphs per essay is the most common configuration, so that is definitely more than fine :)
Post by: jamonwindeyer on October 11, 2016, 01:16:46 pm
Hi all
I just wrote a practice essay for Discovery with Robert Frost, and I do not feel good about it. I feel like I haven't written enough, that it was messy, and not as coherent as an essay would be if I'd have several days to do it (obviously). I had trouble creating a thesis and sub-points that actually worked with the Q (it was about rediscovering). Anyway, does anyone have tips for writing more, with more detail, in the couple of days that we have? I know, risky, but I want to be able to do my best with what I have :)
Hey alisa! Unfortunately the best answer is just practice, practice, practice; there is no set formula to writing in more detail or making your ideas more cohesive. You just need to keep doing it until those things happen naturally.
- Do lots of essay plans over the next couple of days to practice responding to questions
- Ensure you've got lots of techniques and quotes to draw from as your evidence
Beyond all, don't be afraid to really keep it simple. Your concepts for Discovery don't have to be super perceptive, conceptual things if you aren't there yet. Simple concepts like "Discovery is challenging," or "Discoveries can be unexpected," re-enforced by evidence, will still perform really, really really well and they are usually easier to organise in the context of an essay :)
Post by: jamonwindeyer on October 11, 2016, 01:17:47 pm
Heyy, so my prescribed for AOS is Robert Frost poetry and we were told to do a minimum of two poems. I have two related texts one for each poem... is that too risky? coz last year's paper asked specifically for ONE
Hey senara! If the questions asks for one specifically, that is what you need to do: You should practice linking each ORT to the other poem just in case you need to focus on just a single ORT! Not that if they say at least one then you are all set to go ;D
Post by: massive on October 11, 2016, 02:30:02 pm
With in an artists studio, If I was attacking it souly as an essay I would address my composers context and how different ideals appeared for her to write this. i would mention the similies, metaphors, imagery, personification, themes, form and a whole lot of more bullshit garbage. I would talk about the use of Opium at that time and how it distanced siblings and how she is an educated woman in a socially strict society have a negative effect on her poetry. Blah Blah Blah...
Yours is so good my friend. Talk about contexts (political, historical, social), form, audience, tone. Then get into the messy analysis. I have never read this poem and I am absolutely shit at english but Ill have a go.
Picked out in first 20 seconds:
"Apollo" Religious connotation for homer as greek mythology (metaphor/imagery)
"Planet swims into its Ken" (metaphor again)
There find some more...Sorry I dont have much ahah I am tryna memorise my essays. These links should help you heaps though:
http://www.brighthubeducation.com/homework-help-literature/52128-on-first-looking-into-chapmans-homer-analysis/
https://www.cliffsnotes.com/literature/k/keats-poems/summary-and-analysis/on-first-looking-into-chapmans-homer
http://www.shmoop.com/on-first-looking-into-chapmans-homer/summary.html
http://www.enotes.com/topics/first-looking-into-chapmans-homer/in-depth
Thanks bruv!!
Post by: senara on October 11, 2016, 09:16:21 pm
My AOS prescribed are poems and I'm doing two poems. Do I need the same amount of writing on each poem or can I pay more attention to one poem more than the other if it suits the question better? :)
Post by: jamonwindeyer on October 11, 2016, 09:47:02 pm
Heyyy
My AOS prescribed are poems and I'm doing two poems. Do I need the same amount of writing on each poem or can I pay more attention to one poem more than the other if it suits the question better? :)
Hey hey! In general, if you are writing about both poems, you will want a balance between each of them and then your ORT as well, perhaps one on each? If you want to focus on one, it is likely better to just write about that poem. Not hard and fast rule, but it would normally be a little nicer :)
Post by: senara on October 11, 2016, 10:32:08 pm
Hey hey! In general, if you are writing about both poems, you will want a balance between each of them and then your ORT as well, perhaps one on each? If you want to focus on one, it is likely better to just write about that poem. Not hard and fast rule, but it would normally be a little nicer :)
Hey so is it okay to do just one poem? I thought since it's a collection of poems we have to do at least two? :)
Post by: jamonwindeyer on October 11, 2016, 11:20:33 pm
Hey so is it okay to do just one poem? I thought since it's a collection of poems we have to do at least two? :)
I'll await a second opinion on this, but I don't see any actual reason not to. It is smart to do more than one for sure! Getting the required depth out of one poem is tough, but if you can, then I don't think you would be disadvantaged by doing that. Again though, I await confirmation, not sure how this works for the AoS :)
Post by: studybuddy7777 on October 12, 2016, 08:29:29 am
Hey so is it okay to do just one poem? I thought since it's a collection of poems we have to do at least two? :)
Hey senara,
This is just my take on things :)
You wouldn't be metaphorically shooting yourself in the foot, and it is certainly okay to do just one poem, (+ 1 or 2 ORT's). It has however unadvisable to do just one as it is great if you can draw connections between poems and this can be down in as little as 2 poems.
I also do Poetry for AoS and had a friend that only did one poem. At the time I thought he wouldve been fried, but then he got his mark back and still got a B (this was a standard student, so stereotypes aside he wouldntve got an A no matter how many poems he used. I am certainly not saying this for all, just my friend's expertise lie in other areas..)
Otherwise you are stuck with just drawing connections from one poem and one related text. If you can write 4-5 pages on one poem and one related text, I dont see why not. But if you cant, and I know I cant, you will have to have more than one.
Hope this helps :)
Post by: Emerald99 on October 12, 2016, 09:21:44 am
Post by: :3 on October 12, 2016, 09:24:17 am
Can I still get an A range essay if my structure for AOS or the english advanced modules essays is : Paragraph 1- text 1, Paragraph 2- text 2 with a link to text 1 and paragraph 3 - integrated paragraph? Or is this unsophisticated and disjointed?
That's a viable structure to get a band 6.
Post by: Emerald99 on October 12, 2016, 09:36:34 am
Post by: elysepopplewell on October 12, 2016, 09:57:03 am
What does it mean by aspect of discovery? is that like type?
What is the "it" you are referring to?
Typically, an aspect of discovery is one section/element of the process (planning, outcome, etc) or it's nature (physical, emotional, etc).
Post by: senara on October 12, 2016, 10:13:53 am
Hey senara,
This is just my take on things :)
You wouldn't be metaphorically shooting yourself in the foot, and it is certainly okay to do just one poem, (+ 1 or 2 ORT's). It has however unadvisable to do just one as it is great if you can draw connections between poems and this can be down in as little as 2 poems.
I also do Poetry for AoS and had a friend that only did one poem. At the time I thought he wouldve been fried, but then he got his mark back and still got a B (this was a standard student, so stereotypes aside he wouldntve got an A no matter how many poems he used. I am certainly not saying this for all, just my friend's expertise lie in other areas..)
Otherwise you are stuck with just drawing connections from one poem and one related text. If you can write 4-5 pages on one poem and one related text, I dont see why not. But if you cant, and I know I cant, you will have to have more than one.
Hope this helps :)
Thank you Studybuddy and Jamon!
Post by: studybuddy7777 on October 12, 2016, 11:58:00 am
Thank you Studybuddy and Jamon!
No problems at all!! Make sure to flick me a pm if there is anything you are not sure about that I said, or if you just want any further advice/someone to talk to :D
Post by: kb123 on November 05, 2016, 08:55:01 pm
Do we have to put equal amounts of analysis into both the related and prescribed text?
And also - what would be a good way to structure the essay?
Thanks :)
Post by: jamonwindeyer on November 05, 2016, 11:28:17 pm
Hi!
Do we have to put equal amounts of analysis into both the related and prescribed text?
And also - what would be a good way to structure the essay?
Thanks :)
Hey kb123! Usually equal treatment is best, although you can stretch it to 60% Prescribed, 40% ORT if you really need too ;D
You can structure your essay all sorts of ways! Two paragraphs per text, or maybe an integrated approach! There is no right or wrong answer to that question, it totally depends on your preferred approach and writing style :) whatever you do, remember to have a solid introduction and conclusion, and a Thesis that you keep linking back to throughout your paragraphs! :)
Post by: kb123 on November 06, 2016, 12:46:29 pm
Hey kb123! Usually equal treatment is best, although you can stretch it to 60% Prescribed, 40% ORT if you really need too ;D
You can structure your essay all sorts of ways! Two paragraphs per text, or maybe an integrated approach! There is no right or wrong answer to that question, it totally depends on your preferred approach and writing style :) whatever you do, remember to have a solid introduction and conclusion, and a Thesis that you keep linking back to throughout your paragraphs! :)
I've heard that integrated responses work better, but I was just wondering what the 3 concepts would be... they should just be concepts relating to discovery, correct?
I have a teacher that is very vague so I literally have no idea what I'm supposed to do in the essay...
Post by: jamonwindeyer on November 06, 2016, 03:04:49 pm
I've heard that integrated responses work better, but I was just wondering what the 3 concepts would be... they should just be concepts relating to discovery, correct?
I have a teacher that is very vague so I literally have no idea what I'm supposed to do in the essay...
In my experience, integrated essays make it harder to fall into textual retell. You are more likely to be conceptually driven, which is important, especially for the AoS ;D for this reason, although they are tougher, I do suggest everyone at least give them a go :)
Yeah that's 100% right! So say your main focus for the essay (Thesis) was on the beneficial nature of Discoveries. Then you might have one paragraph on the benefits of long journeys that culminate in a discovery, one paragraph on unexpected sudden discoveries, etc etc. You take your big idea and break it into chunks!
A parallel would be, say I'm talking about burgers. My Thesis might be, Burgers are Awesome. My paragraphs could be: Beef Burgers are Awesome, Chicken Burgers are Awesome, Veggie Burgers are Awesome. All still about how burgers are awesome! But on specific parts of that ;D
Your best bet to start the essay would be to do some brainstorming, think about what ideas you could use and how you'd break them up. Getting your ideas for each paragraph done/finalised first will save you a lot of hassle :)
Post by: ssarahj on November 06, 2016, 05:01:09 pm
Hi!
Do we have to put equal amounts of analysis into both the related and prescribed text?
And also - what would be a good way to structure the essay?
Thanks :)
Just to add onto what Jamon has said, for my AOS Essay I had 4 paragraphs in total; 3 integrated (Prescribed and Related) plus 1 that was Prescribed only. That was just how the structure of my ideas turned out after drafting throughout the whole year, so start off trying an integrated response and then see how you go 8)
Post by: kb123 on November 06, 2016, 06:13:34 pm
Just to add onto what Jamon has said, for my AOS Essay I had 4 paragraphs in total; 3 integrated (Prescribed and Related) plus 1 that was Prescribed only. That was just how the structure of my ideas turned out after drafting throughout the whole year, so start off trying an integrated response and then see how you go 8)
oooh interesting... Thanks for that!
Post by: kb123 on November 06, 2016, 06:14:45 pm
In my experience, integrated essays make it harder to fall into textual retell. You are more likely to be conceptually driven, which is important, especially for the AoS ;D for this reason, although they are tougher, I do suggest everyone at least give them a go :)
Yeah that's 100% right! So say your main focus for the essay (Thesis) was on the beneficial nature of Discoveries. Then you might have one paragraph on the benefits of long journeys that culminate in a discovery, one paragraph on unexpected sudden discoveries, etc etc. You take your big idea and break it into chunks!
A parallel would be, say I'm talking about burgers. My Thesis might be, Burgers are Awesome. My paragraphs could be: Beef Burgers are Awesome, Chicken Burgers are Awesome, Veggie Burgers are Awesome. All still about how burgers are awesome! But on specific parts of that ;D
Your best bet to start the essay would be to do some brainstorming, think about what ideas you could use and how you'd break them up. Getting your ideas for each paragraph done/finalised first will save you a lot of hassle :)
oh that makes so much sense thank you!
Post by: olr1999 on November 09, 2016, 07:57:38 pm
Post by: elysepopplewell on November 10, 2016, 10:08:11 am
Hi! Something I generally have problems with is the length of my body paragraphs in essays; they end up being a whole page of writing in exams or assessments tasks. Is there any suggested amount of paragraphs we should have in our AoS essay? Also, how can I make my body paragraphs concise? Another thing, in terms of linking the text back to the thesis at the end of the paragraph, how can l go about pulling everything together that was in the body paragraph like textual evidence and the smaller idea? Hope that makes sense :o Thanks :)
Hey there! I know that when I type essays, they all look nice and tight in paragraphs. But then when I write them, especially in exam conditions, a single paragraph can take up the entire page. For this reasons, it is my suggestion that when you're writing in an exam, you actually break up the paragraphs a little further - so if you're discussing two texts in the one paragraph, then be sure to start the next line and indent when the new text comes in. Alternatively, when you're actually ready to start an entirely new paragraph, you skip a line and then proceed. By no means is this a requirement of high marks, it's just something that I find impacts the way that your work is digested. Nonetheless, this is for a later experience. For an AOS essay, you could have 3-6 paragraphs I suppose! Some people go with just two, but I always think it's more easily digested if those two are broken down, even if just a little. It really depends on your structure, how many paragraphs you have!
Making body paragraphs concise really comes down to questioning every single sentence with scrutiny. "Does this sentence directly answer the question with evidence or judicious concepts?" If the answer is no, you've got a wasted sentence, and that is usually where plot retell is highlighted. You may not be at the stage in your analysis yet to do this, it may come after you get feedback for your first assessment, or it may come after reading the text more intensely, but you'll be able to tighten your analysis by pulling out several meanings from a single quote, or piggy backing techniques and quotes in a really dense way. For me, this didn't come until the end of the year, as I developed my analytical skills and writing style. But, it happened :)
Be sure that you're not just linking back to the thesis at the end of the paragraph, and that you're doing it throughout. Without doubt, topping and tailing your paragraphs with the thesis is a great starting point, but then it needs to become more woven and seamless. That's when each point you make directly answers the question or proves your thesis :) If you're doing it in little ways throughout the paragraph, it means you won't have to make a big stretch at the end to bring it back to the central argument.
Post by: olr1999 on November 10, 2016, 01:35:39 pm
Hey there! I know that when I type essays, they all look nice and tight in paragraphs. But then when I write them, especially in exam conditions, a single paragraph can take up the entire page. For this reasons, it is my suggestion that when you're writing in an exam, you actually break up the paragraphs a little further - so if you're discussing two texts in the one paragraph, then be sure to start the next line and indent when the new text comes in.
Thanks a tonne!
Post by: elysepopplewell on November 10, 2016, 06:10:50 pm
Thanks a tonne!
No worries! If you ever need help finding anything around the site, just let us know! Welcome to ATAR Notes :)
Post by: kb123 on December 04, 2016, 07:39:04 pm
How would you tackle this sort of question in an essay?
"Texts have the potential to challenge assumptions and beliefs about aspects of human experience and the world."
-Discuss this statement in relation to your prescribed text and ONE related text of your own choosing.
Post by: jamonwindeyer on December 04, 2016, 11:34:02 pm
How would you tackle this sort of question in an essay?
"Texts have the potential to challenge assumptions and beliefs about aspects of human experience and the world."
-Discuss this statement in relation to your prescribed text and ONE related text of your own choosing.
This is a heavy question for the AoS! Seems like it would be better suited to a module, since it relates to texts specifically! If you did get it though, I'd be linking the statement to Discovery, with a train of thought that goes something like this:
- Texts portray Discoveries and this shapes how the audience views their own discoveries
- It is through seeing discovery in texts that audience views of the world around them are challenged, and this enables them to make their own discoveries.
It's a little shaky, but the basic idea is that the Discoveries made by the audience, and the way they respond to them, are shaped by the texts they read. Something like that, and then you could direct the conceptual side of things however you choose.
Is this an actual AoS question? I've not seen one like this before! :P
Post by: kb123 on December 11, 2016, 06:41:52 pm
This is a heavy question for the AoS! Seems like it would be better suited to a module, since it relates to texts specifically! If you did get it though, I'd be linking the statement to Discovery, with a train of thought that goes something like this:
- Texts portray Discoveries and this shapes how the audience views their own discoveries
- It is through seeing discovery in texts that audience views of the world around them are challenged, and this enables them to make their own discoveries.
It's a little shaky, but the basic idea is that the Discoveries made by the audience, and the way they respond to them, are shaped by the texts they read. Something like that, and then you could direct the conceptual side of things however you choose.
Is this an actual AoS question? I've not seen one like this before! :P
its not an actual question, but its in the syllabus and i just wanted to know how to answer a question based on the concept :)
Post by: jamonwindeyer on December 11, 2016, 06:52:19 pm
its not an actual question, but its in the syllabus and i just wanted to know how to answer a question based on the concept :)
Ahh okay cool! Good on you for being prepared! I don't know the AoS syllabus like I should, since I did the old one (Belonging, woo) ;) yeah, I doubt they'd throw exactly that in that way, it's a little heavy, but they could definitely give you something about the human experiences and the world part! It's just the bit referencing the texts that feels out of place; working with the latter half of the sentence could definitely prep you well for a heap of AoS essay questions ;D
Post by: RuiAce on December 11, 2016, 06:57:09 pm
don't know the AoS syllabus like I should, since I did the old one (Belonging, woo) ;)To what extent do you belong to our daily discoveries :P
Post by: shreya_ajoshi on January 02, 2017, 08:23:36 pm
I was wondering, how would you write a generic essay for AOS and keep that essay, then continuously manipulating your essay to suit any question that is thrown at you?
Thanks :)
Post by: jamonwindeyer on January 03, 2017, 09:57:04 pm
Hi!
I was wondering, how would you write a generic essay for AOS and keep that essay, then continuously manipulating your essay to suit any question that is thrown at you?
Thanks :)
Hey! I replied to this in the separate post you made, but especially for the AoS, when there is a fairly broad conceptual spectrum of questions they can ask, you need to be practicing responding to AoS questions. It's only by doing this that you'll start to notice the sorts of buzzwords and themes that occur a lot, and this will indicate the best themes to use for body paragraphs :)
Disclaimer: I'm not a fan of memorising and adapting generic essays, and I chat about why here ;)
Post by: epherbertson on April 24, 2017, 01:52:06 pm
I am seriously struggling to come up with some strong ideas for this essay question:
“As well as enlightening, discoveries can be confronting.”
I seem to be circling around the same idea in which an unexpected discovery has the ability to alter and craft a reviewed psychological and spiritual revelation of self purpose.
My prescribed is Life of Pi and related is Ozymandias by PBS.
Any help is appreciated
:) Emily
Post by: jamonwindeyer on April 24, 2017, 04:58:30 pm
Hi,
I am seriously struggling to come up with some strong ideas for this essay question:
“As well as enlightening, discoveries can be confronting.”
I seem to be circling around the same idea in which an unexpected discovery has the ability to alter and craft a reviewed psychological and spiritual revelation of self purpose.
My prescribed is Life of Pi and related is Ozymandias by PBS.
Any help is appreciated
:) Emily
I really like the idea you are tossing around!! I'd try and simplify it a tad though - At its core, you are saying that unexpected discoveries can significantly change an individuals sense of self. And that is a really cool concept!! Keeping it simple to start is almost always the way to go. Some things you could explore in more depth to form your paragraphs:
- The positive vs negative ramifications of unexpected discoveries
- The role of the individual in unexpected discovery, do they embrace it or do they resist it?
- Any barriers that must be overcome to truly benefit from unexpected discoveries
- Unexpected vs expected discoveries - Which causes the greater revelation? Why?
I'd be basing my arguments around the fact that is it the unexpected discoveries that are the most confronting, but that being confronting is what makes them so powerful ;D
Post by: epherbertson on April 28, 2017, 02:15:25 pm
I really like the idea you are tossing around!! I'd try and simplify it a tad though - At its core, you are saying that unexpected discoveries can significantly change an individuals sense of self. And that is a really cool concept!! Keeping it simple to start is almost always the way to go. Some things you could explore in more depth to form your paragraphs:
- The positive vs negative ramifications of unexpected discoveries
- The role of the individual in unexpected discovery, do they embrace it or do they resist it?
- Any barriers that must be overcome to truly benefit from unexpected discoveries
- Unexpected vs expected discoveries - Which causes the greater revelation? Why?
I'd be basing my arguments around the fact that is it the unexpected discoveries that are the most confronting, but that being confronting is what makes them so powerful ;D
Thank you so much. This really helped!!!
Post by: Mockingjay on April 29, 2017, 12:41:22 pm
Post by: epherbertson on April 30, 2017, 10:01:54 pm
Just wondering if you guys had any guidelines towards how many ideas that should be included in an AOS essay in order to be in the high band 6 range. Just struggling a bit to determine whether I have done enough with my essay.
Post by: jamonwindeyer on April 30, 2017, 11:08:36 pm
Hi,
Just wondering if you guys had any guidelines towards how many ideas that should be included in an AOS essay in order to be in the high band 6 range. Just struggling a bit to determine whether I have done enough with my essay.
Hey epherbertson!! So there really are multiple paths to your destination in this scenario. One conceptual idea, really picked apart and delved into properly, can easily get 15/15. Equally, a group of ideas explored cleverly and related logically can also easily get 15/15. There's no magic formula of how the detail gets there, as long as it is there ;D
Personally, I always chose to look at one group of conceptual ideas - I did Belonging, so I'd do like, 'barriers to belonging,' for example. In each paragraph I'd take an aspect of that concept and break it down, show how it is shown in the texts - Usually with three paragraphs. But each to their own, I've seen Band 6 essays doing all sorts of different things conceptually ;D would love for others to chime in with what they've found works well for them :)
Post by: epherbertson on May 11, 2017, 09:22:42 pm
Post by: yattmoani on June 21, 2017, 09:40:37 pm
Is it possible to ask for feedback on just my discovery introduction? If not, what are some concepts that could be used if the question is:
"Discoveries offer new understandings of ourselves and the world.’
Is this your view? Discuss this statement through an analysis of your core text and the given extract."
Post by: elysepopplewell on June 21, 2017, 11:19:02 pm
Hey!
Is it possible to ask for feedback on just my discovery introduction? If not, what are some concepts that could be used if the question is:
"Discoveries offer new understandings of ourselves and the world.’
Is this your view? Discuss this statement through an analysis of your core text and the given extract."
Hey there! We can definitely give feedback on just the introduction if you'd like :)
That question is quite broad, but I suppose it naturally focuses on the result of discovery moreso than the process. Although you could still definitely draw on the process! Feel free to show your intro :)
Post by: yattmoani on June 24, 2017, 09:36:57 pm
‘Discoveries offer new understandings of ourselves and the world.’
Is this your view? Discuss this statement through an analysis of your core text and the given extract.
The term ‘Discovery’ focuses on more than the simple uncovering of an old memory, but rather illustrating a multilayered expression that serves as a catalyst for new understandings of the world and more importantly, ourselves. The depth of personal discovery can be glimpsed through Ingmar Bergman’s The Magic Lantern, with the use of a reminiscent voice expressing the ability for new understandings of the world to surface. Rosemary Dobson’s poems, “Wonder” and “Painter of Antwerp” focuses on the accumulation of new experiences, which resulted from the natural wonder of humans. Within both poems lies the subtle references to paintings, expressing the importance of the past in the understanding of the present world. The discoveries within all three texts allow for new understandings of the world to occur.
Post by: elysepopplewell on June 26, 2017, 02:05:57 am
Oh okay thanks! Here's my introduction:
No worries! Here's my thoughts:
‘Discoveries offer new understandings of ourselves and the world.’
Is this your view? Discuss this statement through an analysis of your core text and the given extract.
The term ‘Discovery’ focuses on more than the simple uncovering of an old memory, but rather illustrating a multilayered expression that serves as a catalyst for new understandings of the world and more importantly, ourselves. The part that stands out to me here is "more importantly, ourselves." This is important because you've identified a main part of your unique take on the question by saying that the new understanding of ourselves is most important. Whether or not you intended to - this is what will differentiate your essay if you follow it through. The depth of personal discovery can be glimpsed through Ingmar Bergman’s The Magic Lantern, with the use of a reminiscent voice expressing the ability for new understandings of the world to surface. Rosemary Dobson’s poems, “Wonder” and “Painter of Antwerp” focuses on the accumulation of new experiences, which resulted from the natural wonder of humans. Within both poems lies the subtle references to paintings, expressing the importance of the past in the understanding of the present world. The discoveries within all three texts allow for new understandings of the world to occur. What I like about your introduction, and I did it in my own, is the way you've given each text a sentence of their own to talk a little bit about the discovery they uniquely offer, rather than just listing a bunch of things from the rubric and sticking the texts on the end. I think you're definitely on the right track here!
Post by: bennyboyyyy on June 27, 2017, 02:30:52 pm
Post by: Evil.Morty on October 11, 2017, 05:55:21 am
Post by: av-angie-er on October 12, 2017, 09:31:54 pm
If for example I come in with a pre-prepared essay, what ways should I prepare to adapt to the question?Hey! I think trying to find as many practice questions as you can and trying to adapt your prepared essay to these questions would be a really appropriate way to go about it, cause it's essentially 'adaptation' training. Maybe not necessarily adapting to practice questions under timed conditions, but simply writing essay plans and topic sentences to fit the question, and dotpointing the evidence that you've prepare underneath it to see if you can make it fit. It'd also be safer to not memorise the essay word-for-word to make room for addressing the question appropriately - instead maybe you can focus on 'ideas' rather than exact techniques, like memorising TEPs in groups based on the rubric aspects. Make sure you especially challenge yourself by trying to address questions that could really screw you over in the exam, like trying to adapt your essay to a tricky/rare questions - e.g. asking about the influence of historical/social context on discovery or the ramifications for the wider society. I hope this makes sense and good luck! :)
Post by: alisoneom on April 21, 2018, 11:47:27 pm
Awesome! Okay, so there are a number of ways to look at this. For me, I looked at discovery in stages.
First stage: the environment that lead to the discovery.
Second stage: The plot/actions that lead to the discovery
Last stage: How the discovery impacted the individual.
Hey Elyse! My apologies if I'm bumping up an old thread but in terms of these stages of discovery, would I need to discuss all three of these in my thesis / essay or simply one to two? I definitely find it much more manageable (in terms of sticking to the question) to discuss one or two, but I'm slightly worried that this means I'm not fully answering the question - let me know! :D
Post by: moq418 on July 15, 2018, 03:15:24 pm
Re: Thesis statement feedback and discussion thread
« Reply #336 on: 2 minutes ago »
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For the discovery essay I am doing motorcycle diaries and my related text felks skrzynecki (poem) by Peter Skrzyneck. should i use that for my related text or choose another. please tell me ASAP becuase im currently preparing my essay for paper 1 trail exam. Also how do i write a thesis for example this question: The process of discovery involves uncovering what is hidden and reconsidering what is known. How is this perspective on discovery explored in your prescribed text and ONE other related text of your own choosing?
can i start off by saying: Discovery is defined as... or The process of discovery is...
Thanks everyone.
Post by: NowYouTseMe on July 15, 2018, 11:37:17 pm
For the discovery essay I am doing motorcycle diaries and my related text felks skrzynecki (poem) by Peter Skrzyneck. should i use that for my related text or choose another. please tell me ASAP becuase im currently preparing my essay for paper 1 trail exam. Also how do i write a thesis for example this question: The process of discovery involves uncovering what is hidden and reconsidering what is known. How is this perspective on discovery explored in your prescribed text and ONE other related text of your own choosing?
can i start off by saying: Discovery is defined as... or The process of discovery is...
Thanks everyone.
Hey there,
Upon a first reading of the poem, it definitely explores a complex process of rediscovery so it should be a suitable related text. However, it also happened to be on the 2009-2012 English syllabus as an AOS Belonging text. You can still use it, but I personally wouldn't as my school tends to frown upon reusing old prescribed texts as related material because it looks like a copout from a student who couldn't be bothered finding a unique related text and independently analysing it. I'm not too sure how your school or the HSC Marking Centre would receive it though...
In relation to thesis(theses? thesis's?), I like to approach them as conceptual statements which answer the question in light of one's study of discovery as a concept through their texts. Specifically in relation to your practice question; The process of discovery involves uncovering what is hidden and reconsidering what is known. How is this perspective on discovery explored in your prescribed text and ONE other related text of your own choosing? , I would probably do something similar to these:
- Catalysed by uncovering hidden truths, the process of discovery provokes unique emotional responses, which can lead to a reconsideration of what is known.
- Discovery is a provocative and intensely meaningful process through which an individual's emotional response to an uncovering of hidden truths can facilitate a reconsideration of what is known about themselves and their world.
Note how these don't mention the texts at all, implicitly or explicitly. This is because your topic sentences should also be conceptual sub-arguments that construct your overall argument, which is your thesis.
(take this with a grain of salt as im also in y12, but my school did our trials early so my pain is over. good luck and you can do it!!!)
Post by: caitlin.micallef on October 17, 2018, 09:44:23 am
1) prescribed
2) related
3) prescribed
It's not a 50/50 ratio so i'm not sure if that's the way to go but he's marked HSC responses and reminded me its not so much an essay as it is an extended response since it's only 15 marks. On the other hand, some people said they got marked down (internally) for doing his structure but I probably feel more comfortable doing that than integrated paragraphs.
Is that structure okay or should I consider something else.
Thanks :D
Post by: jamonwindeyer on October 17, 2018, 09:33:04 pm
Hi, I did 4 bodies for my essay in the trials but it didn't work so my tutor suggested:
1) prescribed
2) related
3) prescribed
It's not a 50/50 ratio so i'm not sure if that's the way to go but he's marked HSC responses and reminded me its not so much an essay as it is an extended response since it's only 15 marks. On the other hand, some people said they got marked down (internally) for doing his structure but I probably feel more comfortable doing that than integrated paragraphs.
Is that structure okay or should I consider something else.
Thanks :D
Hey!! At this late stage, do whatever you feel more comfortable with. You've got this! Good luck ;D