Thesis statement feedback and discussion thread

[ghewitt]

Hey there,
Close! Diction covers everything!! It's the composer's choice of words, and we use diction everywhere. How we communicate ideas and how we convey information are all examples of diction. In this instance, we can discuss the diction as the composer's stylistic device, and how that conveys meaning in the second quote. It creates a very philosophical tone, and much like the first example, it gives a more profound meaning to the text. How you interpret this analysis will entirely depend on your own representation of the meaning behind the quote.

Because we see diction everywhere, it's often hard to pinpoint the function of diction on literature. It plays a part in highlighting the composer's tone, mood, and atmosphere to the reader, allowing them to immerse themselves into the world constructed by the composer.

Thank you so much!! You are awesome

[dcesaona]

Hi, I was never told about a thesis statement in class and I don't really understand it. All I was told to do was to "make sure you're answering the question all throughout your response". So I have a few questions:

1. What is the point of a thesis statement if you're going to end up changing it anyway? I don't really understand its purpose.
2. This is a ridiculous question, but why are some people talking about 3 texts in their essays? I thought we were only supposed to talk about 2 texts (your prescribed and your related)
3. I'm starting to doubt my essay writing skills now so is this a good structure (1 paragraph on prescribed, 1 paragraph on related, 1 on prescribed, then one on related)
4. Where is the place where I can get one of my discovery essays marked? Because now I don't think I actually know how to answer an english response anymore 

[owidjaja]

1. What is the point of a thesis statement if you're going to end up changing it anyway? I don't really understand its purpose.
2. This is a ridiculous question, but why are some people talking about 3 texts in their essays? I thought we were only supposed to talk about 2 texts (your prescribed and your related)
3. I'm starting to doubt my essay writing skills now so is this a good structure (1 paragraph on prescribed, 1 paragraph on related, 1 on prescribed, then one on related)
4. Where is the place where I can get one of my discovery essays marked? Because now I don't think I actually know how to answer an english response anymore 

Hey there,
1. Your thesis statement is essentially your stance on the question. You need to relate your thesis to the question and the text, and this is sustained throughout your essay. It's not that you change your thesis, you just twist your thesis to fit it with the question.

2. People are preparing two related texts just in case NESA wants to throw us under the bus since we're the last year group to use the old syllabus (technically they can ask you two related texts). You don't have to worry too much about it because you can always used one the stimuli in the short answer section.

3. There are two ways in structuring an essay: integrated and non-integrated. Personally, I prefer integrated because I can place the two texts under a topic sentence and to some teachers, they prefer integrated essays. That being said, it's not impossible to do well in essays following a non-integrated structure as long as you show a clear link between the question, the thesis and your texts.

4. You can post your essays in the Marking Thread.

Hope this helps!

[jamonwindeyer]

1. What is the point of a thesis statement if you're going to end up changing it anyway? I don't really understand its purpose.

This guide could be worth a read, just to add to owidjaja's awesome answer above!

[Conkerclub1]

Hey guys,

I was wondering how adaptable you should make your thesis statement be, and whether I should write multiple statements to take into the exam (specifically trials ) Also, how adaptable would this thesis statement/intro would be, and if there is some way to improve it or make it easier for the markers to understand.

The question was something along the lines of "The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." Discuss the extent to which discovery is transformative in nature.

One sets sail on the voyage of discovery to undergo a reconsideration of self and to obtain new eyes in which to see the world. William Shakespeare’s rural comedy The Tempest creates a flawed Prospero who is fueled to gain magical power to seek revenge. He is challenged by Ariel to forgive his enemies and so leads to a transformative discovery and renewal of character. A Rage For Curiosity by Philip Adams is a feature article in which Adams discusses the flaws of society and himself. He engages the audience by challenging them to experience and enjoy the discovery of this planet, and so leads to a new ideal in which to view the world. Therefore, both texts portray the process of discovery to be catalyzed by flaws, engaged by a challenge and resulting in a transformative discovery of self.

[jamonwindeyer]

Hey guys,

I was wondering how adaptable you should make your thesis statement be, and whether I should write multiple statements to take into the exam (specifically trials ) Also, how adaptable would this thesis statement/intro would be, and if there is some way to improve it or make it easier for the markers to understand.

The question was something along the lines of "The voyage of discovery is not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes." Discuss the extent to which discovery is transformative in nature.

One sets sail on the voyage of discovery to undergo a reconsideration of self and to obtain new eyes in which to see the world. William Shakespeare’s rural comedy The Tempest creates a flawed Prospero who is fueled to gain magical power to seek revenge. He is challenged by Ariel to forgive his enemies and so leads to a transformative discovery and renewal of character. A Rage For Curiosity by Philip Adams is a feature article in which Adams discusses the flaws of society and himself. He engages the audience by challenging them to experience and enjoy the discovery of this planet, and so leads to a new ideal in which to view the world. Therefore, both texts portray the process of discovery to be catalyzed by flaws, engaged by a challenge and resulting in a transformative discovery of self.

Welcome to the forums

I think the Thesis is a really important aspect of an essay response - The most important, probably. So it's vital it is done correctly and responds well to the question. I think having a single adaptable Thesis makes it too easy to miss the mark on the question - You are better off having a collection of statements you can pull on and morph on the fly. The more material you can draw from the better, in my opinion.

As for your Thesis paragraph, your first sentence is essentially establishing a Thesis of self evaluation and new perspectives. This matches the rest of the paragraph, except the phrases catalysed by flaws, engaged by a challenge. Not sure how that fits with the rest of the paragraph - But this is good, this is something you could incorporate to adapt it. It would just need to be woven through the paragraph, not quite so sudden at the end

[moq418]

For the discovery essay I am doing motorcycle diaries and my related text felks skrzynecki (poem) by Peter Skrzyneck. should i use that for my related text or choose another. please tell me ASAP  becuase im currently preparing my essay for paper 1 trail exam. Also how do i write a thesis for example this question: The process of discovery involves uncovering what is hidden and reconsidering what is known. How is this perspective on discovery explored in your prescribed text and ONE other related text of your own choosing?
can i start off by saying: Discovery is defined as... or The process of discovery is...

Thanks everyone.

[NowYouTseMe]

For the discovery essay I am doing motorcycle diaries and my related text felks skrzynecki (poem) by Peter Skrzyneck. should i use that for my related text or choose another. please tell me ASAP  becuase im currently preparing my essay for paper 1 trail exam. Also how do i write a thesis for example this question: The process of discovery involves uncovering what is hidden and reconsidering what is known. How is this perspective on discovery explored in your prescribed text and ONE other related text of your own choosing?
can i start off by saying: Discovery is defined as... or The process of discovery is...

Thanks everyone.

I noticed you double-posted this so i'm just going to copy my answer to this here...

Hey there,
Upon a first reading of the poem, it definitely explores a complex process of rediscovery so it should be a suitable related text. However, it also happened to be on the 2009-2012 English syllabus as an AOS Belonging text. You can still use it, but I personally wouldn't as my school tends to frown upon reusing old prescribed texts as related material because it looks like a copout from a student who couldn't be bothered finding a unique related text and independently analysing it. I'm not too sure how your school or the HSC Marking Centre would receive it though...

In relation to thesis(theses? thesis's?), I like to approach them as conceptual statements which answer the question in light of one's study of discovery as a concept through their texts. Specifically in relation to your practice question; The process of discovery involves uncovering what is hidden and reconsidering what is known. How is this perspective on discovery explored in your prescribed text and ONE other related text of your own choosing? , I would probably do something similar to these:

• Catalysed by uncovering hidden truths, the process of discovery provokes unique emotional responses, which can lead to a reconsideration of what is known.
• Discovery is a provocative and intensely meaningful process through which an individual's emotional response to an uncovering of hidden truths can facilitate a reconsideration of what is known about themselves and their world.

Note how these don't mention the texts at all, implicitly or explicitly. This is because your topic sentences should also be conceptual sub-arguments that construct your overall argument, which is your thesis.

(take this with a grain of salt as im also in y12, but my school did our trials early so my pain is over. good luck and you can do it!!!)

[moq418]

Thanks.
I have now chosen to do invcitus by William Ernest Henley as a related text for motorcycle diaries. but i dont really know how they relate can someone tell me how they relate each other through self discovery. Also for the thesis how would i start this thank you.

[NowYouTseMe]

Thanks.
I have now chosen to do invcitus by William Ernest Henley as a related text for motorcycle diaries. but i dont really know how they relate can someone tell me how they relate each other through self discovery. Also for the thesis how would i start this thank you.

Think about what each of your texts say about discovery and group them into common aspects of discovery - either the catalyst, experience and ramifications of discovery if you're willing to try integrated paragraphs or two other statements from the rubric. Once you've figured that out, form a conceptual argument about the notion of discovery that is a natural conclusion of your insights on discovery that you've gained from your study of the texts. That argument is your thesis.

[Fergus6748]

Hey guys, I had a quick q about form in a creative piece. Personally I'm not much into creative writing and generally opt for the short story jsut because it's familiar. I'm looking to try writing a speech for my creative, any tips on how I could approach that?

[beatroot]

Hey guys, I had a quick q about form in a creative piece. Personally I'm not much into creative writing and generally opt for the short story jsut because it's familiar. I'm looking to try writing a speech for my creative, any tips on how I could approach that?

Hey there! You can check out this guide that Elyse wrote

[Jemima w]

Hey!! if i were to answer the 2017 paper 1 question, "Whether motivated by need, wonder or curiosity, discovery has the power to be transformative", would these thesis statements be appropriate/ which of the two is strongest? 

While motivations may vary, discoveries stimulate new ideas and renewed perceptions. Thus, the process of discovery enables a transformation of perspective which is integral to the cultivation of a rich understanding of ourselves and the world.

Discoveries stimulate new ideas and renewed perceptions, thus enabling a transformation of perspective which is integral to a rich understanding of ourselves and the world. However, the extent of this transformation is reliant upon receptive motivations such as need, wonder or curiosity.

Thanku!!!!:)

[jamonwindeyer]

Hey!! if i were to answer the 2017 paper 1 question, "Whether motivated by need, wonder or curiosity, discovery has the power to be transformative", would these thesis statements be appropriate/ which of the two is strongest? 

Welcome to the forums Jemima!

Both work, but I personally think the second is stronger because it proposes more of its own idea as well. Like, your Thesis incorporates the question, but it doesn't totally rely on it - You've spun it to make it yours. So I think it works better for that reason

[Jemima w]

what the hell that was so quick thankyou