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March 30, 2024, 01:14:18 am

Author Topic: How to properly answer the five marker in short answers?  (Read 9771 times)

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birdwing341

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Re: How to properly answer the five marker in short answers?
« Reply #15 on: October 12, 2016, 07:25:41 pm »
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Hey birdwing, sure thing!! I've popped your response in the spoiler below so you can reference it with my comments at the bottom:

Question: Analyse the ways composers represent the positive aspects of unexpected discoveries. (6 marks)

Spoiler
Dante, author of text two, and Tredinnick, writer of text three, convey the positive impacts of unexpected discoveries. Text two suggests that despite initial apprehension, unexpected discoveries have the potential to engage and enlighten whilst text three examines the powerful ramifications of unexpected discoveries in challenging our views on the world.

Dante represents the positive aspects of unexpected discoveries in their ability to engage and enlighten despite initial apprehension. Initially he notices 'Midway along our road of life I woke/to find myself in a secret dark wood', in which the inclusive pronoun 'our' invites responders to experience his thoughts, initially of apprehension in the negative connotations of the 'dark wood'. Yet this is juxtaposed with the word 'secret' ironically suggesting the capacity of unexpected discoveries to reveal what is unknown. Soon he realises, 'Yet there I found my share of good', the surprised tone clearly drawing attention to the word 'good' and dispelling his initial apprehension. Furthermore the rigid structure and the repetitive rhyme scheme engender a flow within the poem's ideas, using rhyming pairs in particular, 'there...unaware', to emphasise the positive emotional experiences of the discovery, elucidating their ability to engage the discoverer. ultimately, Dante notices 'Yet when I looked up, saw the hill's wings with their clean early light', symbolically suggesting the power of unexpected discoveries to enlighten by the connotations of 'clean early light' of illumination, and referencing his body position of looking up to emphasise his engagement with the world arisen from his discovery. Thus Dante depicts the positive aspects of unexpected discoveries in engaging and enlightening discoverers.

Text three examines the positive ramifications of an unexpected discovery in affirming our views on the world around us. Tredinnick's immediate response to the book was 'I went outside and was shocked to find the world still living on', using emotive language to encompass his engagement with the book as he is ironically surprised to find the world still living on. Such as the powerful nature of his discovery that he likens it to 'coming away from a cathedral or a canyon or the birth of a child', utilising a tricolon to emphasise the positive experiences of the discovery and the connotations of the words to suggest his wonder at the discovery. Yet he notes the book is 'terrible beauty', in which the oxymoron contrast the terrible nature of the book's depiction of the world to its beauty in allowing Tredinnick views on the world around him to be affirmed. Thus he concludes 'McCarthy's novel celebrates and allows us to defend...[this miraculous world] against all hope', utilising hyperbolic and inclusive language to emphasises the potential of unexpected discoveries to affirm our perceptions of the world.

Thus text two, which examines the engaging and enlightening nature of unexpected discoveries, and text three, which examines the powerful capacity of unexpected discoveries to affirm world views, both depict the positive impacts of unexpected discoveries.

Comments:
- Excellent introduction. If you are going to do it separately, this is EXACTLY what you should be doing. Fantastic
- Great analysis throughout, you've packed a HEAP of techniques into this space, outstanding
- Be sure to not approach the analysis in the style of a "then this happened" sort of thing. At times you tiptoed the line; just try to keep it as abstract as possible!
- Be careful that your paragraphs match your intro; note the word "challenged" vs "affirmed" for Text 3
- Analysis in the second paragraph is less effective than the first, because you don't abstract your analysis to what the audience learns about Discovery in general, not just within the text
- Excellent conclusion!

Mark: 5.5/6

This is fantastic work birdwing, if you approach the big question like this tomorrow, you'll almost definitely score full marks ;D

Thanks so much Jamon!! That was just what I needed to hear before tomorrow :) Thanks for managing the English forums over the hectic past few weeks!!

zachary99

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Re: How to properly answer the five marker in short answers?
« Reply #16 on: October 12, 2016, 08:28:56 pm »
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I dont think they do but just for clarification, can you earn half marks in the short answers (or any section really) for example 1.5/3?

jamonwindeyer

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Re: How to properly answer the five marker in short answers?
« Reply #17 on: October 12, 2016, 09:57:57 pm »
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I dont think they do but just for clarification, can you earn half marks in the short answers (or any section really) for example 1.5/3?

Nah I think you are right, I'm pretty sure they don't give half marks in HSC Exams :)