Login

Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

June 09, 2023, 10:29:54 pm

Author Topic: Thesis help for Mod A (Metropolis and 1984_  (Read 6248 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

yattmoani

  • Adventurer
  • *
  • Posts: 21
  • Respect: 0
Thesis help for Mod A (Metropolis and 1984_
« on: March 26, 2017, 11:15:53 am »
0
Hello!

I've already written an essay for my Mod A essay but I've been feeling that my thesis isn't that strong. I think one of my main problems is having no substance within my first sentence of my introduction. Any help would be much appreciated!

Mod A question: Although Metropolis is about exploitation, and 1984 indoctrination, both texts stress the sanctity of the human spirit. Compare and contrast the ways in which the value of human life is considered in each of the texts


The perpetual struggle of mankind to retain the sanctity of human spirit is compared and contrasted through Metropolis and 1984’s differing mediums. Lang’s silent film, Metropolis (1927), an example of German Expressionism parallels George Orwell’s dystopic novel, Nineteen Eighty-four (1949), whereby the importance of humanity is stressed through the indoctrination and exploitation of human lives. Through the cautionary nature of each text, the bleak worlds present the potential for mankind’s absolute oppression, as well as the desire of revolution reflecting the overwhelming socio-political issues within Lang and Orwell’s respective societies. Despite the societies of Metropolis and Nineteen Eighty-Four differing as a result of context, both texts emphasises the value of humanity through their oppressive regimes, highlighting the significance of freedom and relationships.


TheFreeMarketeer

  • Trendsetter
  • **
  • Posts: 103
  • Respect: +9
Re: Thesis help for Mod A (Metropolis and 1984_
« Reply #1 on: March 26, 2017, 11:23:58 am »
0
Hello!

I've already written an essay for my Mod A essay but I've been feeling that my thesis isn't that strong. I think one of my main problems is having no substance within my first sentence of my introduction. Any help would be much appreciated!

Mod A question: Although Metropolis is about exploitation, and 1984 indoctrination, both texts stress the sanctity of the human spirit. Compare and contrast the ways in which the value of human life is considered in each of the texts


The perpetual struggle of mankind to retain the sanctity of human spirit is compared and contrasted through Metropolis and 1984’s differing mediums. Lang’s silent film, Metropolis (1927), an example of German Expressionism parallels George Orwell’s dystopic novel, Nineteen Eighty-four (1949), whereby the importance of humanity is stressed through the indoctrination and exploitation of human lives. Through the cautionary nature of each text, the bleak worlds present the potential for mankind’s absolute oppression, as well as the desire of revolution reflecting the overwhelming socio-political issues within Lang and Orwell’s respective societies. Despite the societies of Metropolis and Nineteen Eighty-Four differing as a result of context, both texts emphasises the value of humanity through their oppressive regimes, highlighting the significance of freedom and relationships.

Hmm. I don't know if I'm correct in saying this, but I'll give you my two cents anyway; I feel as if you're merely restating the question as opposed to solidifying your stance on the question.

'Through the cautionary nature of each text, the bleak worlds present the potential for mankind’s absolute oppression, as well as the desire of revolution reflecting the overwhelming socio-political issues within Lang and Orwell’s respective societies'

This is something I'd consider an address to the question, as well as the assertion of a stance on the issue. Possibly rephrase the above in someway and utilise it as the thesis statement?

Hope I helped.

yattmoani

  • Adventurer
  • *
  • Posts: 21
  • Respect: 0
Re: Thesis help for Mod A (Metropolis and 1984_
« Reply #2 on: March 26, 2017, 12:32:42 pm »
0
Hey thanks for your feedback! I tried rewriting my introduction, hopefully its better than before

Through the cautionary nature of Lang’s Metropolis and Orwell’s 1984, the sanctity of the human spirit is stressed through the indoctrination and exploitation of individual’s freedom and relationships. Metropolis (1927), a silent film evoking German Expressionism parallels with Orwell’s dystopic novel 1984 (1949), whereby both texts highlight the debilitating effects of an oppressed society, the removal of intimacy and freedom. The bleak worlds in which both texts are situated further highlights the underlying desire for revolution, reflecting the socio-political issues of Lang and Orwell’s respective societies. Despite Metropolis and 1984 differing in context, both texts emphasise the value of humanity through the intrinsic loss of freedom and compassion.

jamonwindeyer

  • Honorary Moderator
  • Great Wonder of ATAR Notes
  • *******
  • Posts: 10150
  • The lurker from the north.
  • Respect: +3108
Re: Thesis help for Mod A (Metropolis and 1984_
« Reply #3 on: March 26, 2017, 01:43:31 pm »
+1
Hey thanks for your feedback! I tried rewriting my introduction, hopefully its better than before

My turn ;) I think this is better! A definite improvement and you've got something great here. My next recommendation for you would be to use your first sentence more conceptually - Don't bring up the texts until the second or even third sentence! Say, "Composers often use their text to communicate the sanctity of the human spirit, a concern that is relevant to audiences universally." Or something similar. This sort of introduction sets you up to be less text focused, and more conceptual/comparative. Then you later shift into it with, "This is exemplified in the texts ______."

You can see an example of this here ;D

Only a small recommendation - I think this is excellent! ;D

yattmoani

  • Adventurer
  • *
  • Posts: 21
  • Respect: 0
Re: Thesis help for Mod A (Metropolis and 1984_
« Reply #4 on: March 26, 2017, 03:12:11 pm »
0
Thanks for your help guys! I feel bad for constantly asking haha. I've added a more conceptual sentence to the start of my introduction.

Composers often focus on the importance of intrinsic human values, a key aspect within humanity that has been stressed through oppressive regimes.  Through the cautionary nature of Lang’s Metropolis and Orwell’s 1984, the sanctity of the human spirit is stressed through the indoctrination and exploitation of individual’s freedom and relationships. Metropolis (1927), a silent film evoking German Expressionism parallels with Orwell’s dystopic novel 1984 (1949), whereby both texts highlight the debilitating effects of an oppressed society, the removal of intimacy and freedom. The bleak worlds in which both texts are situated further highlights the underlying desire for revolution, reflecting the socio-political issues of Lang and Orwell’s respective societies. Despite Metropolis and 1984 differing in context, both texts emphasise the value of humanity through the intrinsic loss of freedom and compassion.

jamonwindeyer

  • Honorary Moderator
  • Great Wonder of ATAR Notes
  • *******
  • Posts: 10150
  • The lurker from the north.
  • Respect: +3108
Re: Thesis help for Mod A (Metropolis and 1984_
« Reply #5 on: March 26, 2017, 04:13:08 pm »
0
Thanks for your help guys! I feel bad for constantly asking haha. I've added a more conceptual sentence to the start of my introduction.

Composers often focus on the importance of intrinsic human values, a key aspect within humanity that has been stressed through oppressive regimes.  Through the cautionary nature of Lang’s Metropolis and Orwell’s 1984, the sanctity of the human spirit is stressed through the indoctrination and exploitation of individual’s freedom and relationships. Metropolis (1927), a silent film evoking German Expressionism parallels with Orwell’s dystopic novel 1984 (1949), whereby both texts highlight the debilitating effects of an oppressed society, the removal of intimacy and freedom. The bleak worlds in which both texts are situated further highlights the underlying desire for revolution, reflecting the socio-political issues of Lang and Orwell’s respective societies. Despite Metropolis and 1984 differing in context, both texts emphasise the value of humanity through the intrinsic loss of freedom and compassion.

Never feel bad! ;D that's beaaaauuuuuutiful stuff - You've got yourself one top notch Band 6 introduction right there, provided you can back it up ;D

henry6

  • Fresh Poster
  • *
  • Posts: 1
  • Respect: 0
Re: Thesis help for Mod A (Metropolis and 1984_
« Reply #6 on: November 05, 2021, 06:43:16 pm »
-1
Hello, I'm writer. I graduated from Oxford University. I am currently working at Assignment Bank. The main motive of Researcher is to assist students with online assignment help through which they can attain high grades in their final year. The essay writer are qualified enough to produce top quality content and deliver all types of academic assignment writing service regardless of any limitations. Their procedure and technique assist students so that they can achieve the results of plagiarism free writing. Let’s visit best economics Assignment help experts and the accounting Assignment help online service.
« Last Edit: November 05, 2021, 06:47:26 pm by henry6 »