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October 04, 2023, 11:50:23 pm

Author Topic: Can someone please help me looking over my practice essay?  (Read 1215 times)  Share 

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Can someone please help me looking over my practice essay?
« on: April 22, 2022, 07:29:59 pm »
Can someone please look over my practice essay and provide some feedback? Thank you!
As the new South Korean TV series “Squid Game” becomes increasingly popular on Netflix, a debate raises regarding whether the show is purely violence or it conducts meaningful message about current society, an opinion piece written by Jessica Staveley targeting readers who are interested in the new Squid Game is published on “Mamamia” website. Personal and passionate in tone, Staveley praises Squid Game’s popularity while asserting the show Is interesting with deeper meanings. Conversely, a review written by Mike Hale titled “Haven’t watched ‘Squid Game’? Here’s What You’re Not Missing” is published on the New Yorke Times. Caustic and criticising in tone, Hale expresses his contrasting viewpoint criticising Squid Game’s violence is toxic for young children while condemning it’s outdated and meaningless plot. An image is included to support his point of view.

Stavely begins by praising the popularity of Squid Game. Through referring readers directly as “you”, Staveley builds a friendly rapport with her readers. In using the description of “dominating”, Staveley appeals to majority popularity and thus creates a popular impression of the show within her readers’ minds. As Staveley ends with the statement “It’s easy to see why”, she not only evokes sense of curiosity within readers towards the show, but also paves the way for her following praises of the Squid Game. Use of subtitle in the form of a question drives readers to the selection between watch the show or not, thus sets them up for Staveley’s further persuasion. The writer raises people’s competitiveness through presenting watching Squid Game as a challenging task and therefore encourages her readers to watch the show to prove themselves capable of “sit[ting] through some visceral violence and gore”. Also, Stavely intentionally paints a violent image here in evoking public curiosity of novelties, positioning her readers willing to watch the show. By using an “although” syntax, Staveley rebuts against the countered argument of the show is too violent while re-directing her readers’ attention back to her perspective. An effect that is enhanced through ending with the statement of “it’s easy to see why”. Thus, the readers’ viewpoints are aligned in favouring Squid Game as intended.

Staveley continues by asserting Squid Game is highly intense and connotative. Shifting into a more exicted tone, Staveley once again employs the “although” syntax, combined with description such as “incredibly intense” and the exaggeration of having viewers “glued to the screen”, the author highlights the show’s extreme high intensity and stimulates her readers’ interest in watching the Squid Game. Similarly, Staveley also introduces the characters of the show from a variety of background to highlight the level of interesting of the show from various of aspects. Staveley then uses the colloquial language of “white-knuckle” in building rapports with her readers while also emphasising the intensity of the show. In doing so, the writer positions her readers wanting to watch the Squid Game as intended. Staveley moves on to highlight the meaningful message which the Squid Game conducts to the audience about society. By putting the negative aspect of the show being “undoubtly brutal” with the positive aspect that the show reflects social conditions, Staveley intends to undermine the brutality nature of the show by covering it up with an advantage. This encourages readers to look up on the show and thus to watch as intended by the author.

Conversely, Mike Hale expresses the contrasting viewpoint towards the show, he condemns Squid Game is toxic for young children with obsolete plot. In a sarcastic tone, Hale pins his argument against Squid game in the title of his piece. This way, he positions the audience to have the preconceived notion that Squid Game is not worthy to watch before the commencement of his text. Through using the personal anecdote of how the children in his “own household” is attracted by Squid Game and the death game played by the protagonists is a version of “childhood games”, Hale conjures to instil fear within readers, that Squid Game may have already planted a seed of violence within their own children’s minds. Thus aligning their views against Squid Game. Shifting into a condemning tone, Hale uses descriptions such as “traditional, predictable” in describing the plot while “strong”, “silent” and “moody” are used to describe the characters. These words induce a feeling of Squid Game’s plot is poorly designed among readers which encourages them to look down on the show as boring and meaningless. Similarly, through describing the characters in the show are all “debtors” who are “sufficiently desperate” in winning money, Hale associates them with negative human quality of greediness and depict them as life losers. In doing so, the author positions readers to look down on characters with contempt and thus reject the show as intended. As a direct contrast with Staveley’s argument, Hale believes the show reflects the negative unfair “class strafication of South Korea”, further emphasising the show’s negative aspects. The accompany image aids Hale’s persuasion, the blood on “Ho Yeon Jung’s” face and her defensive posture connotates strong sense of violence, while the red-clothed masked guard holding gun in his hands further emphasises the brutal nature of Squid Game. In his conclusion, Hale rebuts opposing arguments through accusing those who love Squid Game are fans of “businesslike dispatch” and “cartoonish exaggeration in the killing”. Hale intentionally depicts people favouring the show as low and brainless, creating a dichotomy and thus positions his readers to accept the conclusion that violence in Squid Game is just “empty, bloody calories”.