Post by: andrewloppol on November 05, 2009, 11:25:36 pm
Post by: kat148 on November 05, 2009, 11:27:43 pm
Post by: minilunchbox on November 05, 2009, 11:30:21 pm
Post by: Edmund on November 05, 2009, 11:32:44 pm
:P
Post by: /0 on November 05, 2009, 11:35:44 pm
Post by: kat148 on November 05, 2009, 11:45:49 pm
...Are you sure??
It works every time I click my link?
http://funnyexamanswers.com/
dw it works fine now. My internet just decided to act stupid as always =S
and lol at the abstinence
Post by: Over9000 on November 05, 2009, 11:57:34 pm
I thought if u integrate batman with respect to bat symbol, u get his weight. But according to that, u get his true identity.
Post by: periwinkle on November 06, 2009, 09:11:40 am
Q: Give an example of movement in plants and an animal that doesn't move
A: Triffids and a dead cat
lmfao
Post by: dejan91 on November 06, 2009, 11:56:44 pm
http://www.cartalk.com/content/features/hell/Bestof/mit-letter.html
This guy is a legend.
Post by: shinny on November 07, 2009, 12:03:28 am
3A. ESSAY: IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION:
ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
But I have not yet gone to college.
Post by: dejan91 on November 07, 2009, 12:16:39 am
Ahah, reminds me of this (fake) college application essay:
3A. ESSAY: IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION:
ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
But I have not yet gone to college.
Sounds like Chuck Norris.
Post by: Fyrefly on November 07, 2009, 07:27:49 pm
http://www.richardpettinger.com/blog/archive/2007/03/07/funny-physics-answers
Quote
The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen.
"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."
One student replied:
"You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."
This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed. The student appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case.
The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.
For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use.
On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:
"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H = 0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer."
"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is a simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper."
"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T = 2 pi sqroot (l / g)."
"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up."
"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building."
"But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him 'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper'."
The student was Niels Bohr, the only person from Denmark to win the Nobel prize for Physics.
Post by: Fyrefly on November 07, 2009, 07:28:46 pm
(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/167/393765082_ae5a8ff183.jpg?v=0)
Post by: Edmund on November 07, 2009, 07:32:52 pm
I had that exact question on my assignment last semester.
(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/167/393765082_ae5a8ff183.jpg?v=0)
Post by: Fyrefly on November 07, 2009, 07:39:29 pm
(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/143/393765084_d46c719253.jpg?v=0)
Post by: Over9000 on November 07, 2009, 08:44:27 pm
Lol, omfg rofl, elephant in the way, Lol.
(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/167/393765082_ae5a8ff183.jpg?v=0)
Post by: sdhains on November 07, 2009, 11:31:00 pm
ahahahahhaahaaLol, omfg rofl, elephant in the way, Lol.
(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/167/393765082_ae5a8ff183.jpg?v=0)
Post by: rajah21 on November 08, 2009, 12:01:53 am
http://www.richardpettinger.com/blog/archive/2007/03/07/funny-physics-answers
The student was Niels Bohr, the only person from Denmark to win the Nobel prize for Physics.
OH SNAP!
Post by: Over9000 on November 08, 2009, 12:33:48 am
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!http://www.richardpettinger.com/blog/archive/2007/03/07/funny-physics-answers
The student was Niels Bohr, the only person from Denmark to win the Nobel prize for Physics.
OH SNAP!
Post by: ninwa on November 08, 2009, 02:37:35 am
This sort of (doesn't) apply to this, but don't wanna start a new thread. MIT acceptance letter:
http://www.cartalk.com/content/features/hell/Bestof/mit-letter.html
This guy is a legend.
Law firm clerkship rejection letter:
Dear Miss/Mr. [HR Director]:
Thank you very much for your recent letter explaining that, despite the fact I am a wonderful person and will likely win the Nobel Prize for Law someday, you were not able to offer me a call back interview and/or a position as a Summer Clerk. I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a position as a Summer Clerk/call back interview.
This year I have received an unusually large number of rejection letters, making it impossible for me to accept them all. Despite your law firm's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time.
Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately. I look forward to working with you. Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.
Sincerely,
Nobel Prize winner to be
Post by: Over9000 on November 08, 2009, 02:58:06 am
Nice, lol. That hard me laughing pretty good.This sort of (doesn't) apply to this, but don't wanna start a new thread. MIT acceptance letter:
http://www.cartalk.com/content/features/hell/Bestof/mit-letter.html
This guy is a legend.
Law firm clerkship rejection letter:
Dear Miss/Mr. [HR Director]:
Thank you very much for your recent letter explaining that, despite the fact I am a wonderful person and will likely win the Nobel Prize for Law someday, you were not able to offer me a call back interview and/or a position as a Summer Clerk. I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a position as a Summer Clerk/call back interview.
This year I have received an unusually large number of rejection letters, making it impossible for me to accept them all. Despite your law firm's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time.
Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately. I look forward to working with you. Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.
Sincerely,
Nobel Prize winner to be
Post by: Fyrefly on November 08, 2009, 04:10:00 pm
This sort of (doesn't) apply to this, but don't wanna start a new thread. MIT acceptance letter:
http://www.cartalk.com/content/features/hell/Bestof/mit-letter.html
This guy is a legend.
Law firm clerkship rejection letter:
Dear Miss/Mr. [HR Director]:
Thank you very much for your recent letter explaining that, despite the fact I am a wonderful person and will likely win the Nobel Prize for Law someday, you were not able to offer me a call back interview and/or a position as a Summer Clerk. I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a position as a Summer Clerk/call back interview.
This year I have received an unusually large number of rejection letters, making it impossible for me to accept them all. Despite your law firm's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time.
Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately. I look forward to working with you. Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.
Sincerely,
Nobel Prize winner to be
Hahahah, that's awesome :P.
Lol... it reminds me of this... (something I read *years* ago)
(http://www.strangebusiness.com/images/content/1438.jpg)
Post by: Ilovemathsmeth on November 25, 2009, 04:34:53 pm
Another one is for this year's Chem exam (midyears). "Name this molecule." Answer: "Fred"
Post by: TrueLight on November 25, 2009, 10:07:11 pm
http://www.richardpettinger.com/blog/archive/2007/03/07/funny-physics-answersQuoteThe following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen.
"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."
One student replied:
"You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."
This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed. The student appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case.
The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics.
For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use.
On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:
"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula H = 0.5g x t squared. But bad luck on the barometer."
"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is a simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper."
"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force T = 2 pi sqroot (l / g)."
"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up."
"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building."
"But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him 'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper'."
The student was Niels Bohr, the only person from Denmark to win the Nobel prize for Physics.
haha omg thats hilarious
i like the last line
Post by: n.f on November 25, 2009, 10:55:32 pm
Nice read but unfortunately cannot be true. His son (and someone else) have one the Nobel Prize in physics as well.
EDIT:
"Recent (1999) versions identify the barometer problem as "a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen" and the imaginative student who answers it as "Niels Bohr, the only Dane to win the Nobel Prize for Physics." (This is not accurate, as two Danes, Benjamin R. Mottelson and Aage Niels Bohr, shared the Nobel Prize for physics in 1975.)"
Source: http://www.snopes.com/college/exam/barometer.asp
Post by: QuantumJG on November 25, 2009, 10:55:49 pm
http://funnyexamanswers.com/2007/09/30/shes-a-woman/
:P
I can't say that this is funny. This is blatant sexism! If we want to end these arguments regarding sexism, we should not laugh at things like this.
Post by: Over9000 on November 25, 2009, 11:27:46 pm
Oh no, how cruel, a joke which should be taken seriously.http://funnyexamanswers.com/2007/09/30/shes-a-woman/
:P
I can't say that this is funny. This is blatant sexism! If we want to end these arguments regarding sexism, we should not laugh at things like this.
From now on, jokes should only be allowed that complement women/men/animals/black/white or mexican people otherwise its just condoning sexism, racism, violating animal rights....
Get over it, its a joke ><
Post by: doboman on November 25, 2009, 11:29:15 pm
I can't say that this is funny. This is blatant sexism! If we want to end these arguments regarding sexism, we should not laugh at things like this.
Rattled your feathers, did it?
Post by: QuantumJG on November 25, 2009, 11:43:17 pm
Ahah, reminds me of this (fake) college application essay:
3A. ESSAY: IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU, THE APPLICANT, BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION:
ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat 400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
But I have not yet gone to college.
Sounds like Chuck Norris.
lol
Post by: QuantumJG on November 26, 2009, 12:00:28 am
Hilarious answers, some of them. Last year in the Methods exam, for the Tasmania Jones question, "how long will it take him to get the antidote" or something, some person answered that this would be impossible to calculate as he gets eaten by a lion in the middle.
This was my favourite question in the exam!
Post by: periwinkle on November 26, 2009, 12:18:22 am
This is from a teacher's blog, "Silly" being one of her pupils
"Impossible - Unlikely - Even - Likely - Certain (These are the possible answers)
Which word from the box best describes the likelihood of each of these events?
1. You throw an ordinary dice and get an eight.
2. You throw a coin and get a Heads.
3. December 6th 2008 is the day after December 5th 2008.
What were Silly's answers?
1. Unlikely
2. Likely
3. Impossible"
this is the full post
http://tomisswithlove.blogspot.com/2009/08/certainty.html