ATAR Notes: Forum

VCE Stuff => Victorian Education Discussion => Topic started by: 99.96 on December 18, 2011, 05:38:54 pm

Title: Dux speech jokes
Post by: 99.96 on December 18, 2011, 05:38:54 pm
I have to make a speech at my school and was wondering if you guys have any good jokes to chuck in there :) Should be relevant to VCE or school, not just random jokes haha
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: Stick on December 18, 2011, 05:44:59 pm
Well whenever all of our college leaders have made speeches, they've shared funny moments with their year level. I'd recommend throwing in a few of them. :)
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: luken93 on December 18, 2011, 05:48:49 pm
Yeah also needing ideas, problem is we're talking to the year levels below us, not my peers...
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: aes_999 on December 18, 2011, 05:54:27 pm
Remember boys and girls, having a carbon copy of yourself always help your VCE scores (referring to MHS twins).
Lame joke, i know. But that's the only one I could come up in such a short notice.
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: Stick on December 18, 2011, 06:05:29 pm
Yeah also needing ideas, problem is we're talking to the year levels below us, not my peers...

It still works. One leader was talking about how one of his mates managed to pash a random girl while on an excursion to the zoo. I couldn't stop laughing until a teacher told me off.
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: transgression on December 18, 2011, 06:11:38 pm
Just say your scores were a fluke (they laugh) but it secretly was
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: luken93 on December 18, 2011, 06:35:52 pm
Yeah also needing ideas, problem is we're talking to the year levels below us, not my peers...

It still works. One leader was talking about how one of his mates managed to pash a random girl while on an excursion to the zoo. I couldn't stop laughing until a teacher told me off.
I turned up late to my chem exam...sunrise and the morning show were just too good to leave! I suppose I'll be using that hahaha
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: totaled on December 18, 2011, 06:39:07 pm
LOL awks if kids from your school go on here and read this, and all the jokes you plan to use in your speech :D
i hope not though !
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: pi on December 18, 2011, 07:08:36 pm
Grab something about Russell Peters childhood and say it was yours


"somebody gonna get a hurt real bad!"


:D
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: aes_999 on December 18, 2011, 07:13:27 pm
Make a parody of Achmed the dead terrorist, substituting him with your teacher / parents / guardian / etc.
If you don't get the scores we expect you to...'we'll kill you!'

Or something like that.
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: Sellingman on December 18, 2011, 07:15:51 pm
To be fair, when delivering a speech, you need to crack a joke whereby if it doesn't go to plan, people will think it's just part of the speech, not an attempt at a joke.

I'd say:

But there isn't just an academic side to Year 12. Never again will it be socially acceptable to.. ( walk around stoked because you've got a zooper dooper?)
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: aes_999 on December 18, 2011, 07:17:54 pm
^Don't think the example will happen spontaneously. Unless of course, one tries to overstimulate himself (or herself, for that matter).
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: nubs on December 18, 2011, 09:09:55 pm
opening line:

'I won't lie to you guys, I longed for this more than a hyperbola longs for the sweet touch of its asymptote'
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: Panicmode on December 18, 2011, 09:29:51 pm
So guys, I hear you have VCE coming up. Sucks to be you :). No but seriously...


That's not a bad opening line.
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: 99.96 on December 18, 2011, 09:40:57 pm
Thanks for the input guys I will defs use of this :)
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: Special At Specialist on December 18, 2011, 09:44:49 pm
Hey guys, what up?

*Awkward silence for 5-10 seconds*

Okay as I was saying...
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: abd123 on December 18, 2011, 09:46:53 pm
opening line:

'I won't lie to you guys, I longed for this more than a hyperbola longs for the sweet touch of its asymptote'
Hmmm, his speaking to a younger audience they may be like year 7 to 10s that won't understand what a 'hyberbola' and 'asymptote' is.
So i wouldn't think that would be a good idea for that joke for targeting younger kids (7-10).

Its really good though :), the senior students (future i.e. yr 11/12s), science teachers and maths teachers will have a good laugh on that good joke you've made.

Op perhaps throw in "Drinking all the energy drinks day and night has made of what i've became without it i wouldn't be standing here" dunno if its relevant & funny

Hope I helped :). 

Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: MicroShift on December 18, 2011, 10:16:55 pm
It would be a crime not to use Nirbaan's hilarious joke.
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: Sellingman on December 18, 2011, 10:25:57 pm
opening line:

'I won't lie to you guys, I longed for this more than a hyperbola longs for the sweet touch of its asymptote'

Honestly, 90% of your school will think you're an absolute faggot if you say this.
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: Sellingman on December 18, 2011, 10:30:56 pm
I found it funny, but majority will think you're a fag.
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: nubs on December 18, 2011, 10:34:57 pm
Nah you wouldn't understand my school, trust
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: aes_999 on December 18, 2011, 10:51:36 pm
Nice opening line, but IMO not even smart MHS cohorts would laugh at this.
Then again, I expect them to be entertained with more...let's just say
'crude' jokes.
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: nubs on December 18, 2011, 10:57:03 pm
no seriously, for our year 12 assembly we impersonated teachers and did rap battles, Chemistry V Maths etc, huge hit

trust me,
Title: Re: Dux speech jokes
Post by: Special At Specialist on December 19, 2011, 12:01:48 am
no seriously, for our year 12 assembly we impersonated teachers and did rap battles, Chemistry V Maths etc, huge hit

trust me,

Yeah some people at my school did that in year 8 camp for their red faces act, but then the teachers impersonated the students  8)