ATAR Notes: Forum
General Discussion => General Discussion Boards => Rants and Debate => Topic started by: EEEEEEP on May 05, 2016, 11:25:21 am
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Tiger parenting - a strict or demanding mother who pushes her children to high levels of achievement. There's also an element of perfectionism. In some Asian households, kids get yelled and shamed at for hurting themselves with comments like, "Why didn't you be more careful!" or "What's wrong with you?!". There is also not an emphasis on happiness and children's desires.
*as we know... tiger parenting is associated with asian and east asian countries*
Western parenting - helps kids grow up with the ability to think creatively, be innovative and learn from their mistakes. It involves listening to kids and developing their potential without forcing them to obey authority. Being free to pursue what they want, they are able to think outside the box. More of the decision making rests with the children in Western homes. Individuality is of high importance in this style of parenting.
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Which is better and why?
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Like with everything, I think both have desirable elements, and both are equally undesirable when done to an extreme.
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Tiger parenting - a strict or demanding mother who pushes her children to high levels of achievement. There's also an element of perfectionism. In some Asian households, kids get yelled and shamed at for hurting themselves with comments like, "Why didn't you be more careful!" or "What's wrong with you?!". There is also not an emphasis on happiness and children's desires.
*as we know... tiger parenting is associated with asian and east asian countries*
Western parenting - helps kids grow up with the ability to think creatively, be innovative and learn from their mistakes. It involves listening to kids and developing their potential without forcing them to obey authority. Being free to pursue what they want, they are able to think outside the box. More of the decision making rests with the children in Western homes. Individuality is of high importance in this style of parenting.
depends on the situation and the kid.
i was pretty good mates with most of the elite kids i knew at my high school (98+ atars) and none of them really had tiger parents. they would still go out with everyone on the weekends, some weeknights, would be active on fb and instagram, play league and cs and fifa and shit, and live pretty normal lives. the parents would just give them space and enable them. i guess this counts as western parenting.
but that methodology only really works if the kid themselves is motivated, and wants to do well, or has pretty big goals. bc i knew a few aussie kids whose parents didnt care and they just didnt give a damn either and did nothing all year 12.
on the flipside, i knew kids who were really really bright, really really motivated, and if they could've done what they liked without parental pressure, wouldve easily gotten 99+, BUT their parents would force them to do subjects that the parents wanted, and force them to go to tutoring services that werent the best way for this particular kid to prepare for sacs and learn (everyone learns differently) and as such these potential stars would end up getting a high 40's in their one humanities subject and high 20's low 30's in like chem and bio and shit. one of the main things to be a really good student is to want things for yourself, getting pushed only goes a certain way, and at the tip top of the mega elite all rounders, i definitely have noticed a lower level of tiger parenting which is contrary to popular belief. of course there are always exceptions, and you definitely see people who are the product of tiger parenting in individual skill classes, like music, or science olympiads, and that sort of thing, but i dont see it as much in the high atar/school captain/plays sport/lots of extra curriculars kids
also though tiger parenting is probably better if the kid is lazy or a potential drop out or not motivated at all. i knew a few kids like that who if they had the choice wouldve gone to tafe or something or just wagged school every day, but their parents forcing them to do study and go tutoring and shit managed to get them atars in the 80's and low 90s
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I wouldn't really say I was completely tiger parented, but in high school I was almost never allowed out. Whilst it meant my high school years weren't 100% enjoyable, it paid dividends for me very well. The side effect, however, is that I am now habitually somewhat reclusive and have a tendency to be rather shy, although this is starting to change as I become older and more confident; giving the AN lectures were one major step towards fighting my natural shyness.
I'd likely lean more towards stricter parenting - but wouldn't belittle.
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I was brought out with the western parenting. All my parents wants is to go to uni in terms of education. I was given a bit of space, but i would always get that phonecall at 9pm to see where i was. If i played too much cs or dota my parents would step it, but in year 12 i had full control, and i wish i did a bit better but altogether my parents have supported me in everything. My parents have emphasized that there is always money for books to read, textbooks and university projects, not so much video games or going out. Its interesting because i got pushed way harder that my brother who got a low atar, i guess it helped since i doubled his atar, but i think my parents still had higher expectations.. idk.
Im spanish so socializing is massive, im encouraged to go to out every day that im not supposed to study, and this led to me joining soccer clubs and what not.
I think that with western parenting its very common for the kid to leave after 18, my english teacher who was western was shocked that some of us would stay at home till we are 26-27. In my case i dont have to move out till i get married, which means i will be able to get into my graduate dream course with a FFP. I guess its allright to have that kind of parenting support, but i wish i was pushed a little harder in vce.
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I think both have their pros and cons. I have massively Western parents, and I'll definitely be raising my kids the same way I was raised when that time rolls around. Throughout my HSC my Mum just gave me the space to do what I needed to do, she would express concern if I seemed un-productive, but ultimately she trusted me. I think that having that trust is what enabled me to do well; ultimately you have to want it yourself. Push too hard and you'll just foster resentment, and even if success follows, it might not be right for that individual.
That said, there are definitely people who would likely benefit from a stricter parenting style. It's just not me :)