Post by: hiyo on July 28, 2018, 01:52:21 am
I just discovered these and found them very interesting and I know that it’s quite late to start recording journals now since there’s precisely only 13 weeks leading to exams.
SUBJECTS I’M DOING THIS YEAR
English: Okay, I’m very weak in English, but I’m doing well this year because my teacher believes in me and I’m very blessed to have her as my English teacher this year.
Physics - I jumped into ¾ without doing ½ because I wanted to get into the Bachelor of Engineering at Monash (not sure which one) which requires either Chem or Phys. I cry every time I get my SAC back.
Computing - Informatics: I’m doing very well in this, but for a subject that scales down so much, I don’t believe I’m doing quite as well???? Idk, my teacher believes I’m one of those students that will get over 40 SS for this particular subject but idk.
Math Methods - I like this subject, but because I’m doing specialist maths, I got cocky and think methods is easier than specialist. Therefore, I didn’t do any work for it and I paid the price. I’m a changed person now.
Specialist Maths - OKAY, I did okay on the first SAC but I’m still very worried about the exams because YEAH YOU KNOW, IT’S SPECIALIST MATHS.
(Didn’t do a ¾ last year, but I wished and I wished and I wished and I wished I did one)
An overview of my VCE year so far:
TERM 1
Okay, this term was terrible. I entered year 12 with as a very weak English student - averages C - B (like on the edge of a B) - so I was really determined to improve my English for this year, putting hours and hours into English just to write ONE practice paper a fortnight since I struggle to write effectively which has consequently cost me hours and hours that I should’ve spent on either Methods and Specialist instead. I didn’t have any sacs for spesh and methods in term 1 so I had that attitude of ‘I’ll just take my time and chill’ which was veryyyyyyy wrong. Lots of regrets went into this. Term 1 I didn’t have that much sacs except for English, so I was pretty much a chill student. I went to Methods ATAR notes lecture and since I barely did any homework for Methods, had very little idea of what the presenter was talking about. (cries)
TERM 1 HOLIDAYS
I don’t remember much, but I started working around this time or maybe just right after holidays finished. Anyways, it was a pretty mess. I work in the city (about 45 minutes of travelling time) and my body had to adapt to the my routine changes which affected my studies quite a bit because then I had to stay up quite late just to finish my homework and I gave up doing that after a while. Sigh*
TERM 2
Term 2 was incredibly hard. SACs almost every week and a week cramped with SACs after SACs. I was on the verge of crying and giving up because I strongly believed that I would just get 60% for every SACs get a 70 ATAR in the end. I’m aiming for at least a 90 ATAR and my teachers predicted that I would get at least an 80 and getting below what you expect is very disappointing. I did survive the week as expected, my results were disappointing but not as much - which I can work with. I ended term 2 with much more motivation and work ethic as in motivation for doing more work and improve my SAC scores. I still cry every time I get my physics score lol. Oh yeah, after crying for 2 weeks straight, I found myself a methods and physics tutor who also became my specialist tutor later. Idk if my physics/spesh tutor would read this at all but I just want to say you’re a great guy and I’m so sorry for my results in physics.
TERM 2 HOLIDAYS
I was much more productive in the second term holidays. Finished one chapter of methods, did as much of specialist maths as I could’ve, read my English novel, did some physics homework and some general informatics questions. Couldn’t make it to ATAR notes lectures because I had work, but otherwise that was my 2 weeks of holidays summarised including going to tutor as well. Some people asked me why I work in year 12 and I told them I had to work to pay for my tutoring tuition and they thought I was crazy...
AVERAGE PERCENTAGES FOR SUBJECTS SO FAR:
English: 82% [Text RES: 83%, Creative WRIT: 80%, Lang ANALYSIS: 73%, ORAL: 92%]
Physics: 73.25% (I got 54% on the second sac and I cried days and night) [SAC1: 70%, SAC2: 54%, SAC3: 90%, SAC4: 75%]
Informatics: 92% or 92.25% to be exact ATM [SAC 1: 92%, SAT P1: 92.5]
Methods: 81% (ONLY DID ONE SAC I WILL GET BETTER ON THE NEXT SAC)
Specialist Maths: 85% (also only did one sac but I’m quite happy with this)
*Looking at my results now I lost the confidence to achieve a 90 ATAR and I really regret not studying as much as I could’ve to achieve a higher score in all my subjects. I really regret that, but I am improving and I know that it is quite late to ‘change’ but some change is better than no change at all.*
Post by: hiyo on July 28, 2018, 02:05:07 am
> Had a physics SAC
I walked out of it feeling AT LEAST 80% cause it was quite easy and I told myself 'yeah I'm picking myself up this semester, over 35 SS let's go'. Haha lol I was so wrong.
> Handed part of my Informatics SAT in
I needed to come up with 3 designs and annotate it. Yeah that's it. One of the reason why I left it to the very end to do it despite the time we were given to complete it.
> Doing Methods and Specialist homework full time
My tutor gave me 5 chapters of specialist maths homework to do and for methods, I'm so ahead with my tutor that there's so much more homework waiting for me. That also means that I'm very ahead and I can start practice exams very soon.
Post by: hiyo on July 28, 2018, 02:11:21 am
> Came to my Informatics class in the afternoon late as usual and looked at my teacher in the eyes, looks like I didn't get a very good mark for I.T.
> Got my physics back and I cried, I got 75% for a SAC which I should at least gotten an 80% for. I was genuinely sad. I felt like I'm wasting my time with physics and at the same time, money on tutoring.
> This week, I'm working 2 consecutive shifts and I'll be going to the State Library on Sunday to print out practice exams so I can start. Some of my teacher is leaving for 2 weeks so I have to get those practice exams in as quick as possible.
*I'll post in more details next update. This is just a summary I guess???? Pretty sure no one will read this but myself anyways :c*
Post by: PhoenixxFire on July 28, 2018, 05:44:24 am
It’s never too late to start a journal - I would argue that this is the most important part of year 12 anyway :)
Quote
looked at my teacher in the eyes, looks like I didn't get a very good mark for I.T.Hahaha I know that feeling. That’s how I knew I screwed up my second bio SAC, my teacher just looked at me a bit worriedly
Post by: Bri MT on July 28, 2018, 07:56:50 am
The exam is worth the bulk of your study score so you really are right that improving now does make a difference.
If you're interested in how the final study score calculation works there are some great resources and explanations in the Victorian Technical Score Discussion section of the forums.
I think feeling guilty and like you need to apologise to the people who helped you learn, when you didn't get the score you wanted, is pretty normal. That being said, you are under no obligation to feel guilty for your results and I hope that overtime you are less burdened by this weight.
If I could give you one piece of advice based on your journal so far, it would be to be aware of your mental and emotional health. For example, because you are feeling stressed, guilty, and a bit incapable you probably have an increased tendency to catastrophise (eg. Nothing you've written makes me think you are going to get a 70 ATAR.) I would highly recommend that you prioritise getting enough sleep and that exercise is part of your routine, as this is very likely to decrease stress and improve your learning, memory, concentration, self discipline.... etc.
What draws you to engineering at Monash?
Have you always been interested in STEM?
Are you going to open day?
Post by: Yertle the Turtle on July 28, 2018, 09:53:46 am
Good luck, and I look forward to reading this journal.
Post by: Vaike on July 28, 2018, 10:45:34 am
MY VCE JOURNEY SO FAR
*snip*
*Looking at my results now I lost the confidence to achieve a 90 ATAR and I really regret not studying as much as I could’ve to achieve a higher score in all my subjects. I really regret that, but I am improving and I know that it is quite late to ‘change’ but some change is better than no change at all.*
Hey! Welcome as the others have said :) Just wanted to add that an ATAR of 90 or above is definitely not out of the question! You've still got that 13 weeks left until exams, which is plenty of time to really buckle down, work hard and make some progress :) Term 3 is definitely the most important term in Year 12 in my opinion, so don't feel discouraged that you've left a little bit on the table over the last two terms.
Also I think it's worth noting that your exam results will have a much larger affect on your ATAR in comparison to individual SACs. I know I personally had some struggles with SACs in year 12, but if you can get through them alright and really prepare yourself well for the end of year exams, an ATAR of above 90 is definitely within reach! Good luck!
Post by: hiyo on July 28, 2018, 09:59:16 pm
Welcome!
It’s never too late to start a journal - I would argue that this is the most important part of year 12 anyway :)
Hahaha I know that feeling. That’s how I knew I screwed up my second bio SAC, my teacher just looked at me a bit worriedly
Thank you! I'm glad it's not too late to start one haha. Writing diary entries is one of my favourite hobby - I often write them in my school diary at the end of every week just so I could look back later on and have a little laugh with it. I didn't want my friends to read it though because I get embarrassed easily and everyone wants to hide how they really feel right :p So this VCE Journal trend is just perfect for me >_<
Post by: hiyo on July 28, 2018, 10:32:53 pm
That 54 percent looks very similar to one of my SAC scores.
The exam is worth the bulk of your study score so you really are right that improving now does make a difference.
If you're interested in how the final study score calculation works there are some great resources and explanations in the Victorian Technical Score Discussion section of the forums.
I think feeling guilty and like you need to apologise to the people who helped you learn, when you didn't get the score you wanted, is pretty normal. That being said, you are under no obligation to feel guilty for your results and I hope that overtime you are less burdened by this weight.
If I could give you one piece of advice based on your journal so far, it would be to be aware of your mental and emotional health. For example, because you are feeling stressed, guilty, and a bit incapable you probably have an increased tendency to catastrophise (eg. Nothing you've written makes me think you are going to get a 70 ATAR.) I would highly recommend that you prioritise getting enough sleep and that exercise is part of your routine, as this is very likely to decrease stress and improve your learning, memory, concentration, self discipline.... etc.
What draws you to engineering at Monash?
Have you always been interested in STEM?
Are you going to open day?
Thank you so much. I actually saw your comment early in the morning and it has changed me for the better (well slowly). I usually skip out family invitations and party invitations just so I could go home and 'study' while in call with a bunch of my friends but today was one of those days where I didn't decline their invitation and decided to go along to the family dinner. I didn't regret going at all.
Physics is the only subject that makes me realise my vulnerability. However, unlike the previous SACs where I got extreme low marks, I didn't dwell as much on this one because for once, I understood my mistakes and I know that I can improve by reading the question better. It's another thing to inform my tutor about my sac mark, I guess he'd be disappointed but that's fine because I would be too.
And yes! I'm going to open day! Aug 5th, here I come. Initially, I wanted to study Engineering at RMIT because their graduation is cool and I loved that blue sash that engineering students get to wear once they graduate. I don't know if they are the same colour every year, but the one year I went to an RMIT graduation, it was blue. A few years later, I opened my eyes to Monash, a university that also provides lots of opportunities to their students and like RMIT, they are also known for their Engineering courses. Their campus is big and apparently, it's in the middle of nowhere - which means if I do get in, I have to move out. Moving out means independence and I love it. I'm probably just being naive though, yikes. Anyways, Monash is also considered as 'prestige' so if I make it, my family can boast about it to my relatives. I didn't want them to look down at my family anymore. I did consider Melbourne, but based on the things that people have said, Melbourne is probably the worse Uni for Engineering out of RMIT, Monash and Melb. I didn't even know what STEM was until you mentioned it T_T.
Oh and I'll take your advice and go to sleep early tonight. Thanks.
Post by: hiyo on July 28, 2018, 10:37:27 pm
Hey, it's really great to see a good start to a journal, and as PheonixxFire says, it's never too late to start a journal. You are doing similar subjects to me, and I'm looking at going into Monash Engineering as well! Good luck with that, I can understand that you might find it interesting! :D Have fun this year is probably my biggest tip, as it helps relieve the stress if you just make sure that you leave time for fun.Imagine if we get into the same course at Monash next year haha. That'd be so cool and I'll try to have fun even though I think doing methods homework is really fun.
Good luck, and I look forward to reading this journal.
Good luck to you too!! Let us make it to Monash.
Post by: hiyo on July 28, 2018, 10:43:02 pm
Hey! Welcome as the others have said :) Just wanted to add that an ATAR of 90 or above is definitely not out of the question! You've still got that 13 weeks left until exams, which is plenty of time to really buckle down, work hard and make some progress :) Term 3 is definitely the most important term in Year 12 in my opinion, so don't feel discouraged that you've left a little bit on the table over the last two terms.
Thanks a lot! It's funny how people online or people that don't know me quite as well are more encouraging and positive compare to the people that actually know me. I'll be sure to make my last few months of highschool worth it.
Post by: PhoenixxFire on July 28, 2018, 10:55:07 pm
Post by: hiyo on July 31, 2018, 11:05:18 pm
TERM 3 WEEK 3 - [ TUESDAY ] - 91 DAYS LEFT TIL EXAMS
THE WEEKENDS It’s a shame that I couldn’t do homework on the weekend. I worked after school on Friday and straight away, the morning after. By the time I was finished with both of my shifts, I was mentally and physically exhausted. I needed a rest so I slept for 10 hours straight that night. I hate working on Saturdays, it’s always so busy, my brain could never rest. I still wonder if working is worth it, if my studies would’ve been better. Plus, they generally give me a 5 hour shift on a Saturday, so I can’t get a break, (if you work up to 5 hours, you don’t get a break, but if you work more, you get 1 break or 2 if you work 8 hours) which is why I dislike them, hmph.
On Sunday, though, I woke up feeling energetic, like I was rebooted and have forgotten about the last two days. It was a reward, but at the same time, it wasn’t. I was blessed with a deep, beauty sleep, but at the same time I had to be back to school the next day and to top it off, a mountain of homework waiting for me. So basically, I had no weekends. I was able to finish English homework, which wrecked my brain because I didn’t want to do it and I also finished Physics, which, because of my procrastination, took me longer than I thought.
MONDAY
Today was the first time I expressed my interest in the science/medicine field to my friends. A part of me wanted to be a part of that field, but not a doctor. I wasn’t taken seriously though, they thought I was joking because I suck at physics, but I’m considering it. Am I being naive? Maybe? But on the other hand, I’m only 17, the time to explore is now.
Struggled with my English homework because I didn't want to do it. Went into class and found out I was the only one that did it... I wasn't sure I was proud of it or not, I just knew that there are other people who must've despised English more than me.
I didn’t do my maths homework for tutor and I felt bad. I’m pretty sure I’m one of the very few students that does tutor homework so whenever I tell him that I didn’t do them, he looks quite disappointed. So the point is, I try to do my tutor homework as much as I could, just so he could be happy and to give myself extra practice. I enjoy doing them, although sometimes there are some questions that gives me pain. Remember how I said I couldn’t do homework on the weekends? Yeah, I am now behind on classwork in methods, fun. At the end of the day, I managed to do one paper out of 3 for my tutor and he seemed pleased enough. We went through the questions that I was stuck with and throughout the entire session, I came to the conclusion that this guy is going to be my best best best best friend before the exam period.
Downside of tutoring is that I get home pretty late, I missed my bus stop and had to wait extra 15 minutes for the bus to make it to the last stop and go back. By the time I got home, I was exhausted, only did some questions for spesh tutor homework and made it to bed by 11 or 12. I had taken the advice of sleeping early, it’s better like this anyways.
TUESDAY
Very rarely do I actually get up on time, feeling that packet of confidence in my body and ACTUALLY make it to the bus. Today was one of those day where I didn’t have to run with a piece of bread, candy, nectarine or mandarin in my mouth to the bus. I walked at a leisure pace, made it to the bus a tad early, found a seat and sat down on the bus. Mmmmmm. Then I had to sit on that damn bus for nearly 40 minutes because the traffic was crazy. I ended up arriving late to school despite my effort to wake up early to catch the ‘perfect-timed’ bus, what the hell.
Again with I.T today, teacher said he had gotten all the marks so he advised that everyone come see him individually to get their marks and hopefully, feedback for future improvements. He didn’t look too happy whenever he glanced at me, in fact, I have come to a realisation that he only display his cheery expression when he talks to the high-achievers or the people who had made an improvement in their work. I didn’t want to be sad so I never went to see him to get my marks, it’ll come to me eventually anyways, what’s the rush with finding out that I didn’t get a perfect mark. I feel pressured to do good by my peers and teacher, they’re expecting so much from me when I repeatedly told them I haven’t put enough effort in this subject for the past 6 months. Already exhausted whenever someone mentions I.T.
Did I ever talked about spesh homework? My brain was wrecked by spesh today. I am ahead in spesh, but because I am ahead, I found that no one was available to help me. Why is my class moving so slow? I desperately needed help. I tried to finish my final specialist questions and I couldn’t do it. I couldn't unpack the question, my working out didn’t make sense. I don’t get it, 2 chapters of pretty much the same thing and I couldn’t answer this one question. Am I really set up to be successful in spesh? My tutor expected them to be done and I wanted to fulfill his expectations. He’s like a parent figure, eh, maybe a brother that I never had that checks on my homework, my wellbeing and how I’m going in VCE once a week. He basically took on the role of my family. I felt that without his guidance, I wouldn’t be so intrigued and obsessed over school work, but instead be spending time crying over physics. In my family, I was like a bird without its cage, I could go anywhere, do anything as long as I was working during the weekends. Never have they asked me ‘How are your studies?’, ‘Have you done your homework?’, ‘Are you okay?’ since VCE started. I always assume they trust me to do the right thing though, so I guess that’s a good thing.
Anyways, I got really stressed because I couldn’t do a spesh question and couldn’t finish my tutor homework. I had spesh/physics tutor later that day and explained to him my situation and that I ‘technically’ finished the assigned homework, I was just stuck with no clues. To my surprise, he looked delighted because FOR ONCE, I actually completed the homework he gave me. We went over the question/s I was stuck with and for some reason my method didn’t work, his did so I just had to use a different approach. All I could think of though was that if this was on the exam, I would’ve left the exam room thinking I aced it. Haha. At the end of the day, it was a great tutoring lesson. I did my homework, he helped me with questions, both parties were happy. On the other hand, he gave me homework. Like. Lots.
Jk, it’s an alright amount of homework, I complain a lot whenever my tutors give me homework, but I’ll actually never tell them that I like getting homework, that I ‘enjoy’ doing them.
*Omg it's so long, I'm so sorry D: I tried to make it as short as possible but it still came out long. I'm also very sleepy, so excuse my grammar and spelling mistakes. Also, I didn't do my English homework so rip rip me.*
Post by: Bri MT on August 03, 2018, 10:28:37 am
No problem at all! Can you believe that open day is already this Sunday? I was giving a tour to some year 11 students from Mildura yesterday, and it was strange to think that in a few days almost everyone interested in Monash will be doing just that.
Definitely recommend taking the opportunity to visit the different types of accomodation available on campus and seeing the rooms, especially since independence is both daunting and alluring.
You should be proud of yourself for being able to change your mindset and take a learning/growth approach - it'll probably take you a bit of practice to be able to sustain this, but it's certainly worth it!
I'm glad that you gave yourself some extra rest & that the family reunion was a positive experience for you :)
No need to apologise for long posts at all!
It's hard when you share something connected to your identity or interests and your friends aren't supportive, but I promise not only that there are people in science that aren't the best at physics, but also that it's 100% possible for physics to go from a weakness to a strength.
Hope to see an update on how you found Open Day, what you didn't expect etc. soon!
Post by: hiyo on August 04, 2018, 12:34:44 am
TERM 3 WEEK 3 - [ FRIDAY ] - 88 DAYS LEFT TIL EXAMS
*wrote this on a friday night but posted on sat*
WED + THURSI don't specifically remember anything happening on these days except that I had double English once and I wanted to kms for the rest of the day. It was so uninteresting and so.... boring. Part of me wanted to sleep during those double periods but I myself know too much about sleeping in English and the consequences of it so I stayed awake the entire lesson, pretty sure I yawned every 5 minutes. I also had a Methods SAC. I did a lot of work prior to this SAC, hoping that I would get 100% so my average can finally be up to par with the top 5 in the cohort. Well, I definitely did not get 100%. Eavesdropping into everyone's conversation after the SAC made me realise I may have lost a great amount of marks which may bring me down to 80%. I forgot my greatest weakness was skimming over questions instead of reading into it. Perhaps I got too excited for the SAC and that's how I messed up the question. Overall, I won't be disappointed if I get 90%. I just want to get at least over 90%... If not, I'll be sad. Maybe disappointed. Nope nope, just sad.
FRIDAY
I.T teacher released the markings for part one of our unit 4 SAT today. Prior to this, he mentioned that he marked our sacs 'harsher' this year because last year his class was marked down by VCAA and he didn't want it to happen again. I don't get it, informatics always get scale down and if he was going to mark it more harsh, then there's no way he'll let me get away with my little work in his class. WELL, THE UNEXPECTED ALWAYS COME WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECTED IT. I received a perfect score. I'm not sure whether this would change in any way since he did mention some of the scores might change once he goes over them for the 5th time. So what does that mean? It means I got 10% of my final mark for Unit 4 Outcome 1 locked in ( IT COULD CHANGE) and a reason to try in the second part of this SAT to achieve a perfect score.
Also, working the same shifts this week :'( and Open Day this Sunday!! I just realised it'd take me 2 and a half hours to get to Monash which means I'll really have to make Open Day worth it. It'll decide whether I want to go to Monash for Engineering or Melbourne for Science (Melb Open Day soon). I also got my shifts for next weekends. Sat and Sun, 6 hours each. That is horrendous. How dare they take my weekends away from me.
I have to start my methods practice exams next week and perhaps physics. Ahhh so much work :'(.
Is it too early to start predicting my ATAR now? Can I just do it? haha, here goes nothing ~
English - 33
Methods - 40
Specialist - 32
Informatics - 43
Physics - 32
ATAR: 91.35 - I HOPE I GET HIGHER
Definitely recommend taking the opportunity to visit the different types of accomodation available on campus and seeing the rooms, especially since independence is both daunting and alluring.
I've looked at Monash 'living on campus' site several times and the first thought that came to my mind was that it's really expensive and the cheapest room there looks kinda 'eh' :<. Plus, the thought of sharing a bathroom with more or less 100 people doesn't really appeal to me. I'm hoping Open Day can change my mind.
It's hard when you share something connected to your identity or interests and your friends aren't supportive, but I promise not only that there are people in science that aren't the best at physics, but also that it's 100% possible for physics to go from a weakness to a strength.
I don't really hate physics, but people seem to think I do because of my exaggerated cries after every SAC. In fact, ever since I met my tutor, I never once thought that I'd give up on this subject. However, I don't think physics would become a strength for me at all :'(, I'll try though. I'll update on my Open Day experience at soon as I can ;D. Literally so excited because this is my first time going to Monash Clayton campus, I even asked for this Sunday off work so I can enjoy my Open Day.
Post by: not.yet.a.nerd on August 04, 2018, 09:20:32 am
Although probably not in real life as we don't know each other haha 😆
Your vce journal is super detailed and I'm enjoying reading it- keep it up!
Post by: Yertle the Turtle on August 06, 2018, 08:05:19 pm
snipGreat job on your SAC, sounds awesome! I was pretty upset that I couldn't get to Monash Open Day, hope it was good for you though! Good luck for the rest of the year, and I really love reading your journal entries :) Keep it up!
Post by: hiyo on August 07, 2018, 12:30:33 am
After spending my entire day at Monash and preparing for my upcoming SAC, I didn't have any energy left to write my personal experience at Monash on Sunday. Since I'm pretty much stressing over spesh homework again, I told myself this would be a good time to take a break and make a post about it before I forget everything.
SO HOW WAS IT?
Well, there's always the good and the bad, but in my honest opinion, the bad outweighs the good.
Upon entering year 12, I had a goal. I knew I needed to work hard for it, I knew I wanted to go to Monash for its Engineering course, I knew what I wanted to do and I knew I needed a 91 ATAR or less with SEAS in order to achieve it. What I thought I knew and wanted more or less vanished once I left Monash, Clayton, the very UniI had my eyes fixed onto since the very beginning of my VCE journey.
I came to Monash Open Day with a group of friends, each and everyone interested in a different course - which meant we'd have to visit almost every faculty and that meant a lot of walking. I was so glad that there were student volunteers from Monash everywhere to help guide us vce kids. If it weren't for them, I don't think I would've made it home. I didn't mind travelling there since I know for a fact that if I do decide to go to Monash, I would definitely move out to some areas closer to it. I can't imagine commuting 2 hours or more to Monash everyday, it'd be too much.
My first impression of the Clayton campus was 'wow'. Its buildings are huge, tall, beautifully built and don't even get me started on the new built building with wooden stairs (aka: the education building on the day). I saw myself studying in it, sitting in one of its spaces, studying for my exams. It was spectacular, it seemed like an achievable dream, but it was short lived. The education building was the only one I went into, besides the engineering building, residencies and almost half of the available tent and who would have thought that it would take 4 hours to travel between these. I liked the campus, I liked the freebies, the free doughnuts, the kind people, but that's about it.
I got to the Engineering area, hoping I could get some information out of the course I specifically wanted to do just to confirm that the course is really what I think it is for the final time. To my surprise, it wasn't. Upon getting my questions answered, I saw my goal disappearing in front of me and for the first time since forever, my future didn't look very clear. It wasn't what I was expecting and I KNEW I didn't want to do what I thought I wanted to for those 2 years. I began to feel restless and suffocated because I didn't a goal anymore. I questioned myself with questions that I should've asked myself earlier, one of which was 'Do I want to do it because I like it as a hobby? or Do I want to do it because I can see myself pursuing it as a career?' My friends were happy with the information they were given regarding their courses, it looked like they're on a very good track. I, on the other hand, was left confused and lost.
However, residencies ended the day for me. I was taken on tours to see what a room with no wash basin and bathroom look like and a room with pretty much everything including bathroom and wash basin in them. Residential village rooms were old, small and its building or hall had a very tight layout. I think it depends on different halls, but the one I went into, it was sad. I was expecting it so I guess it's okay. I strongly believe some people that went on that tour with me felt the same way. On the other hand, Logan Hall and similar halls with studio apartments was beautiful. If I was to live on campus, I would definitely want to live there despite its cost. It held the perfect title for 'privacy'. I would want to live there.
Anyways, I didn't realise how much I miss the busy city until I returned to Melbourne Central - probably an indication of how I'm more suited for a city life - and how absolutely tired/drained I was after Monash Open Day. I really thought Monash and Engineering was what I wanted, but now I'm not so sure. Open Day has brought me back to square one, now I didn't know what I wanted to do or what I was interested in doing, I just know that I have roughly 2 months to lock in my preferences. This brings me to my next target, Melb Uni - Bachelor of Science, probably one of the most popular bachelors for people that are unsure of what they want to do.
> P.S: No regret that I went to Open Day, but I may have lost some motivation because of it.
*I'm so tired. 12AM is sleep time ~ zzz*
Your vce journal is super detailed and I'm enjoying reading it- keep it up!Thank you so much! I sometimes thought my journals are way to long too long for anyone to read, but I'm glad you're enjoying it! And who knows, we might have met :P.
Great job on your SAC, sounds awesome! I was pretty upset that I couldn't get to Monash Open Day, hope it was good for you though! Good luck for the rest of the year, and I really love reading your journal entries :) Keep it up!You're too kind ;D Good luck to you too! I've read your journal too ! Just yet to caught up or comment haha.
Post by: Joseph41 on August 07, 2018, 01:13:01 pm
P.S. I wouldn't discount Engineering at Monash entirely. But I hope the UoM open day is more pleasing for you. :)
Post by: hiyo on August 07, 2018, 08:28:24 pm
Hey! Interesting that the open day had that effect on you. I can definitely see how that would be unsettling, but I really recommend, if possible, seeing this as progress rather than taking a step back. After all, you're now one step closer to finding the right path for you!I hope UniMelb open day will help me decide my preferences, or at least give me a clearer view of my future than right now. I didn't completely cross off engineering at monash, or engineering at all because I'm still unsure of whether engineering is right for me. One of the things I didn't include in my open day experience was that I met an engineering student, currently in his final years, at Monash. He specifically told me that his experience at Open Day was the same a few years back, but only when he started the course did he find it fun and interesting. I still have this lingering feeling over engineering, but I definitely need to see my other options. The Clayton campus is no doubt beautiful and alluring, but I still need more reasons to choose it. Finally, I didn't regret going Monash Open Day at all because, as you said, it's one step closer to finding the right path for me.
P.S. I wouldn't discount Engineering at Monash entirely. But I hope the UoM open day is more pleasing for you. :)
I WISHED i collected more freebies though :'(.
Post by: hiyo on August 10, 2018, 12:30:30 pm
TERM 3 WEEK 4 - [ FRIDAY ] - 81 DAYS LEFT TIL EXAMS
This week has been a very busy week, and so will next week. With the realisation that I won't have the weekend to myself, I have tried to finish all my homework during the week, but it's not going so well. It seems like I can't utilise my time when I'm at home. I nap, I eat, I watch youtube, get in calls with friends and end up only finishing 2 subjects for homework. Bleh :(
Also got my methods SAC back. I'm disappointed, 44/50 :(. It's not bad, but I lost 2 marks over 2 multiple choice questions which should've been free. I'm very salty and I can't help but think I would've gotten 46/50, which brings me over 90%, if I didn't get those two wrong. Overall, our high-achievers got 48-49/50 whilst the poor performing students got around 28/50. However, in a small cohort of about 30 students, I am currently in the top 10, probably rank 9 or 10 and now I'm questioning whether I'll be able to get a 40+ SS for Methods at all.
I'm sad. I barely do any work in class for I.T and I'm rank 2. I do so much work for methods and couldn't get a 90. I feel burnout. :(
*This post is short because I just want to complain about methods, hmph.*
TL;DR: sad because I didn't get what I want for methods.
Post by: PhoenixxFire on August 10, 2018, 01:40:13 pm
Quote
It seems like I can't utilise my time when I'm at home. I nap, I eat, I watch youtube, get in calls with friends and end up only finishing 2 subjects for homework. BlehTotally recommend studying at a library or at school if you’re allowed to stay after school. I almost never study at home because I just cannot concentrate. If you’re in an environment that you associate with studying then you’ll probably focus better - it’s also easier when you can’t go check the fridge again just in case food has materialised haha - also some libraries don’t allow food and some have (supposedly) silent areas which will reduce the distractions
Post by: hiyo on August 25, 2018, 12:20:04 am
TERM 3 WEEK 5 - [ FRIDAY ISH ] - 75 DAYS LEFT UNTIL EXAMS
LAST WEEK : I wrote this but never got the chance to publish it.
It had been a very busy week. Ever since I worked those two 6+ hour shifts on the weekends, I became a lost soul in the midst of this journey to acquire a 90+ atar.
Joke jokeee, I’m doing fine and ever since I have changed my habit to sleep early, i never felt better. I must keep this journal short, all the assessments are catching up to me. Term 3 is a very tricky term I suppose.
I had a physics SAC and it was ‘ok’. I walked out of it feeling ‘okay, maybe 60s’ and then my friends started discussing the answers and I was like ‘ah shit, please god give me one more chance on this subject’. It took our teacher 2 days to mark all our sacs, and prior to getting our marks back, he was like ‘your marks are SUBJECT TO CHANGE’ so I assumed that my mark would get bumped up even if I failed BUT NOOOOO, I think they’re going down. I received a 77%, which I was very happy about ( since i’ve been praying for second chances ), but not very happy when he said scores are gonna change.
Other than that, nothing new or exciting, just general spesh homework that kills me from all directions and the more work i do the more i get stuck like i just can’t. Cambridge Maths Textbook gives you a grade 2 example, then goes from 0 to 100000 in their questions or maybe i’m just dumb.
TERM 3 WEEK 6 - [ FRIDAY ] - 68 DAYS LEFT UNTIL EXAMS
Today is supposedly the last day to work on my final part of my i.t sat and in all honesty, I don’t think I’ll get anywhere near 90% for this SAT. Informatics for me is not excruciating or hard in any way, the only ‘hard’ thing about it is management. This subject requires work every day, but I hate juggling homework on the laptop and the books at the same time. It’s so tiring. HOWEVER, I FINISHED THE DAMN SAT AND I’M FREEEE. Omg, I legit hate informatics so much, I just want to cry whenever the deadline comes.
Anyways to summarise up the past 2 weeks.
> Basically finished my entire course for physics, we’re now preparing to do some investigation project, which is gonna stress me out even more.
> We’re going through probability so fast, I don’t understand why. I thought probability is probably the chapter that we would have to spend the majority of our time on, not just spend 45 minutes on it. But it’s ok, I’m doing alright.
> Spesh: my teacher skips so much chapters holyyyyyyy. I was ahead with spesh and it was my pride, but now i’m like 3 chapters behind… I cry.
> I.T: I hate i.t.
> English: I hate English too
>Tutoring: I love my tutors, I feel like they play such a big role in my year 12 journey and I feel like I should write a bigger paragraph to thank them at the end of the year. They may not know it, but beyond everyone that I have met at parties or social gathering, they are my favourites.
> I was supposed to work today, but I caught a flu and end up bedridden for the past couple of days. I missed out on school and surprisingly, not much work to catch up onto.
> I WENT TO MELB OPEN DAY. I collected much more freebies at Melbourne than I did at Monash. Melbourne Uni was easier to familiarise, perhaps it was because it was my 4th time at The University of Melbourne, but I instantly recognises part of the campus once I stepped my foot on it. Melbourne’s location is way more convenient, more prestige and its model is also different. However, no matter how much I try to find my way around it, I still see myself studying at Monash more. I liked Monash more, I liked its vibe, I liked its buildings, I liked the idea of studying there, belonging there. It was weird because if I wanted to study medicine, I would definitely want to be at Melbourne, but do I really want to study medicine? Do I want to go to medical school? Can I go to medical school? Am I ready to commit myself to medicine? Is medicine for me?
> Almost one month left until VTAC applications must be submitted, I have one month to list all my preferences down and get my paperwork right. At the moment, Monash is still at the top of my list.
P.S: Today I called in sick so I obviously didn’t have to go to work. In a home with usually 6-7 people has now become 3. I suddenly realised my selfish desire of wanting to live alone, how naive was I for wanting to move out and being independent when it would mean abandoning my mother every night in this lonely house.
Totally recommend studying at a library or at school if you’re allowed to stay after school. I almost never study at home because I just cannot concentrate. If you’re in an environment that you associate with studying then you’ll probably focus better - it’s also easier when you can’t go check the fridge again just in case food has materialised haha - also some libraries don’t allow food and some have (supposedly) silent areas which will reduce the distractionsThis I cannot agree more, but given my circumstances, going to a library on a weekday would do me more harm than good. The closest library to my house is about an hour an a half away. My family is busy and therefore cannot pick me up at any given time and if even if I decide to go to the library on a weekday, I would have to leave before the sun sets or else,
ALSO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLY!!
Post by: hiyo on August 26, 2018, 10:52:26 pm
TERM 3 WEEK 7 - [ SUNDAY] - 66 DAYS LEFT UNTIL EXAMS
Omg, I'm on the verge of crying. What have I been doing this weekend? I have 3 chapters of spesh to complete, 2 practice exams for physics and a practical investigation to write. One entire chapter on probabilities for methods + 2 practice exams and a dozen of english practice essays to hand in. I haven't done anything, I haven't started, I haven't touch them, I haven't look at them. I could probably finish spesh tomorrow if I only do half the amount of questions, but practice is perfect and I would feel so guilty doing that. I would feel guilty if I choose the beauty sleep over the unfinished homework tonight, but why am I so bad at time management. 66 days left until exams and I've written no practice essays for english or start any practice exams for spesh and I've only done one practice exam for methods. Oh my dream to study at Monash or Melbourne, my dream to acquire a 90 ATAR, will they ever come true?
Post by: kevdog007 on August 26, 2018, 11:26:30 pm
Spesh killed me when I was in year 12. I averaged like 50-60% on every sac, but still managed a 30 raw (40+ scaled).
If you say you're bad at time management, then what would that make me? Lol
Oddly enough, my cousin and brother are both doing engineering (hons) and medicine at Monash respectively (I'm doing biomedical science at Melb uni, looking to do doctor in medicine later) and I can tell you this, I die everytime I go to lecture. The content is hard as hell, definitely can't say I struggled a lot in high school, but if you don't pick up the slack this year then, to cut it short, you should probably not consider doing an undergrad that leads to medicine.
However, judging by your score, I can definitely see a potential 90+ atar, just don't give up!
Post by: hiyo on August 27, 2018, 12:03:17 am
I feel your pain.
Spesh killed me when I was in year 12. I averaged like 50-60% on every sac, but still managed a 30 raw (40+ scaled).
If you say you're bad at time management, then what would that make me? Lol
Oddly enough, my cousin and brother are both doing engineering (hons) and medicine at Monash respectively (I'm doing biomedical science at Melb uni, looking to do doctor in medicine later) and I can tell you this, I die everytime I go to lecture. The content is hard as hell, definitely can't say I struggled a lot in high school, but if you don't pick up the slack this year then, to cut it short, you should probably not consider doing an undergrad that leads to medicine.
However, judging by your score, I can definitely see a potential 90+ atar, just don't give up!
First of all, thank you for being the first person to tell me not to walk on the medicine path, it makes my view a little clearer. People that I've met that are looking to follow a medicine pathway don't usually tell me about how they're doing in their chosen field. In fact, a first year told me she likes it (biomed) and she's doing particularly fine despite barely making it into her course. I guess I was, no, I am inspired and influenced by the people around me and part of me may have just wanted to follow their footsteps. Thank you for believing in my potential to get a 90+ atar, it actually means so so so much to me. There's only 2 months left so I'll definitely give myself a final push, thank you. Also, I believe my spesh sacs are easier than the other cohorts, so I can't really use it to compare :(, but that's one of the reasons why I'm doing so much work for it, for the end of year exam. I just hope hard work pays off.
Post by: Bri MT on August 27, 2018, 08:01:37 am
Trying to complete that many things in one weekend sounds overwhelming, try not to beat yourself up if it takes you multiple weeks to get through that.
Study guilt can be powerful but it's weakened by not only achieving goals, but also sleep, healthy diet and exercise.
If you're not kind to yourself you increase the chance of burning out - please try to remember that you are working hard and that breaks can be beneficial.
Post by: kevdog007 on August 27, 2018, 11:46:31 am
First of all, thank you for being the first person to tell me not to walk on the medicine path, it makes my view a little clearer. People that I've met that are looking to follow a medicine pathway don't usually tell me about how they're doing in their chosen field. In fact, a first year told me she likes it (biomed) and she's doing particularly fine despite barely making it into her course. I guess I was, no, I am inspired and influenced by the people around me and part of me may have just wanted to follow their footsteps. Thank you for believing in my potential to get a 90+ atar, it actually means so so so much to me. There's only 2 months left so I'll definitely give myself a final push, thank you. Also, I believe my spesh sacs are easier than the other cohorts, so I can't really use it to compare :(, but that's one of the reasons why I'm doing so much work for it, for the end of year exam. I just hope hard work pays off.
Sorry about what I wrote, you probably misconstrued my text.
I never told you to not follow a medicine pathway, I'm just merely stating that if you wish to study medicine in uni (especially Monash or Melb U), you need to pick up your game, because science at uni is nothing like VCE science. I definitely sound a bit hypocritical with my spesh scores being quite low, but for biomedicine you don't really need maths, so I spent more time on chemistry and biology (with both being 45+ SS). Not that you're not doing well, I can definitely read that you're trying your best, but if you have a negative attitude towards your chosen subject, then that may impact your results.
Post by: hiyo on August 27, 2018, 10:36:23 pm
When you're stressed about time it's very easy to focus on the things that you haven't done rather than what you have. You've probably completed more than you realise, and the standards you're setting yourself are pretty high.
If you're not kind to yourself you increase the chance of burning out - please try to remember that you are working hard and that breaks can be beneficial.
Yep, I figured being behind on homework isn't that big of a deal so I stopped stressing last night and went to bed. Instead, I was catching up on homework during lunch and pretty much decided to leave the practice exams out until I finished the entire course. I feel like a better person that way :).
Sorry about what I wrote, you probably misconstrued my text.
I never told you to not follow a medicine pathway, I'm just merely stating that if you wish to study medicine in uni (especially Monash or Melb U), you need to pick up your game, because science at uni is nothing like VCE science. I definitely sound a bit hypocritical with my spesh scores being quite low, but for biomedicine you don't really need maths, so I spent more time on chemistry and biology (with both being 45+ SS). Not that you're not doing well, I can definitely read that you're trying your best, but if you have a negative attitude towards your chosen subject, then that may impact your results.
Yes, yes. I'll pick up my games.
Alright since my last post got removed, I'll repeat what I said, but with less of an attitude lol
Do your homework. Yes, VCE is hard, stressful, emotional etc. but if you're not prepared enough (as in not even looking at your homework), then you're really digging your own grave.
Your scores are definitely good and, as kevdog007 mentioned, I too believe in you getting a 90+ atar, but right now I think you're at a mentality in which is 100% not recommended at uni.
That's all I have to say. Good luck with your journey :)
PM me if you have any inquiries.
haha what did you say? I think I may have exaggerated a little in my entries, but I'm up to date in every subject except for spesh (1 chapter behind now). The practice exams that I mentioned are actually work my tutors or my teacher (english) recommend I do, they're not really expected to be done by tomorrow or anything so I stopped stressing once I realised it. Also, I'm not that emotional or stressed out as when I first started year 12, I'm much better now thanks to the people I surround myself with.
Thank you for believing in me :D.
Post by: userrrname on August 27, 2018, 11:07:40 pm
Post by: K888 on August 28, 2018, 12:13:57 am
but I honestly doubt any student out there completely has their shit togetherSo true 🙌 I don't think I've met a single person at uni who always has their shit together! Everyone goes through periods of being organised and on top of things, and periods of being super stressed and behind. :) There's absolutely nothing wrong with falling off the wagon a bit - as long as you work to get yourself back on each time!
Well said.I might just be misunderstanding the phrasing of your sentence, but the ATAR requirement for a course is purely based on demand - i.e. how many people apply for the course vs how many spots there are. Unis don't set ATAR requirements to try and weed out or discriminate between students who they perceive to be good or bad.
I did biomedicine at Melbourne Uni and assignments/homework played a big role with the course. I get where you're going that not doing homework to the best of one's ability isn't the end of the world but there's a reason why Monash/Melb require such high atars. It's better if you get into the habit of doing homework regularly before uni as to not get more stressed and procrastinate.
I personally found that doing my homework during my VCE times helped me understand content better, but I definitely agree with what you wrote.
@OP: I'm looking forward to reading your updates over the coming months. :) Year 12 can be a very stressful time but trust me, you'll get out the other side of it! It's a hard slog at the moment, but it'll all pay off eventually.
Post by: hiyo on September 07, 2018, 06:08:08 pm
TERM 3 WEEK ??? - [ FRIDAY ] - 54 DAYS LEFT TIL EXAMS
It's Friday afternoon, the sun is still out and I'm feeling nice so it's time to write one of my final journies before I officially finish all my sacs. I believe it's a courtesy to myself, who may go back and read this in 3 years time, to update what has happened over the last time I updated. I'll do my best to keep this entry short since the majority of my entries are quite long.
Ever since I caught the flu/cold, my motivation/energy dropped and it wasn't long until I discovered that I had the symptoms of a 'burnt out' student. Over the past week, I struggled to 'care' for any of my assessments or upcoming sacs. I didn't stress or cry or get anxiety like I normally would. I was free in my own world, working at my own pace with my studies. I felt lost because I didn't know what I was working towards. I didn't know what I wanted to do, I was scared of receiving my atar in December, I was scared that I would not pass my expectations and overall, I was scared of the uncertainty of the future. Well, don't be depressed because I have figured almost everything out now.
With the help of several YouTubers and my tutors, I have pretty much decided my preferences for next year and I only have to fill in an application for seas and scholarships next. I had a methods sac today, it was horrible. Not only did I get several 3 marks question wrong, I also had no idea what I was doing in that probability sac, I was only doing what 'made sense'. Yeah, no idea how to use the calculator for probability. On the other hand, the high achievers were commenting how the sac was such a 'breeze', like :|. Can't wait to get my sac back. All my final sacs are next week, somehow I'm not stressing as hard as I thought I would. I was also assigned an 8 hours shift for tomorrow and a 4 hours shift the next day which is beyond horrible, but I guess a 90 minutes break won't be that bad. I'll bring my books and go to the state library to do my homework or something (lol). Once I finish all my sacs, I will have to start writing practice essays every day since there will be less than 50 days until the English exam commence. I'm aiming for a 35 or more in English, so I definitely need to pick myself up.
With more or less 50 days left until the exams start, I find it quite upsetting how my peers in my study period don't take their education as seriously. I know that they are not aiming for a 90 atar or expecting anything high, but I still want them to do their best together so that year 12 will be a memorial experience. Instead, they're lazing around, chatting, laughing and constantly on their phone, I wish they were a little more motivated (not like I'm in a very good position to talk though).
These days, I keep thinking about my regrets regarding my education. I should've moved to a more competitive school when I was given the choice. I should've handed in the application form to undertake biology unit 1/2 in year 10. I should've kept going with language school instead of dropping it in year 11. I should've uninstalled all the games on my laptop because recently, they are in my way. I wished over and over that, I could go back and re-pick my choices, but no matter how much of a hypocrite I am, I can't say that I regret meeting the people who became my precious friends today.
Oh yeah, I did a practice exam for physics and got 45%... I guess I need to do A LOT of work. (sad)
P.S. My number one preference is Bachelor of (__________) Engineering at Monash. Lots of thought and research was put into it,but I finally figured what was most important and more interesting to me and it was this in the end. I couldn't deny that I love the environment the vibes at Monash anyways. teehee ALSO, to the people who supported me and gave me a bit of encouragement (in a way) when I was deciding between medicine and engineering. THANK YOU. I'm not a burnout kid anymore, I stay back afterschool and come early before school whenever I can now, just to make up the amount of work that could've been done on the weekend that I never have anymore. I'm aiming for Monash now, I really want to get into Monash. ;D
Post by: Maya24 on September 07, 2018, 09:43:45 pm
Post by: hiyo on September 08, 2018, 08:28:49 pm
I enjoyed reading these entry. I can also relate to when people in your class who don't seem to care about their marks. Sometimes it's sad when you worry more about their marks than them, but there is nothing you can do.At the end of the day it's up to them. Good luck for all your remaining tests/ sacs!
Thank you for liking my entries!! I also love your entries haha and yes it's very upsetting to see my peers like that, they have so much potential sigh. I'll try in my sacs, but i don't think i can do that well in all of them :'(
Post by: hiyo on September 12, 2018, 12:40:06 am
TERM 3 WEEK ??? - [ TUESDAY ] - 50 DAYS LEFT TIL EXAMS
Today marks the 50th day before exams start and I'm feeling suicidal. VCE has been a bumpy road. I would feel ecstatic one moment and the next, not so good. I have just about 3 sacs left for the term, forever. I know I'm nearly there, but at this moment, it's just me dragging my entire body to the finish line. I got my sacs score back. First, it was methods, then it was spesh, both of them was a 10% drop from my recent scores and I wouldn't be surprised if my I.T was the same. I don't know why but I'm feeling so much pressure at the thought of achieving a 90 atar. My biggest fear is not getting what I want and it is taking over me, breaking me. I know an atar won't define one's life, but this huge expectation that is hanging over my head is killing me.
I have 3 sacs left in 3 days. Once I finish them, I would be free, but my scores aren't looking so good which got me worried about my atar. I tried to convince myself that the exam will bring me up, that sacs don't matter, that it is possible to beat people of higher rank. However, deep down, I know that those things are close to being not true. If I can't beat them in sacs, how will I beat them in the exam? Sure I could study more, do my best, but they are also doing their best, they are also studying hard.
I'm so pessimistic, I don't like it.
Yesterday was one of those days where I was strongly driven by the suicidal thoughts, I thought that maybe if I take my life, I could run from this mess forever and perhaps, be free elsewhere. I was never going to do it, I knew I didn't want to hurt those around me and essentially cause my mother to feel pain and grief. I knew that there are other pathways to get to where I want, but at the time, the thought of 'the easy way out' tempted me. I actually contacted lifeline as they were my last hope to get me out of my terrible situation/mindset and they helped me a lot. Still, the thought of escaping everything entices me and I'm so emotionally tired. I just want to graduate, please.
I'm sorry for being negative.
Post by: Bri MT on September 12, 2018, 07:44:47 am
I want to thank you for your openness and for reaching out to people who can help. That's something that's difficult to me, and I admire your ability to do that.
I know that you've heard this before, and that right now it probably doesn't feel true, but the ATAR becomes fairly unimportant pretty quickly. Getting a high one makes things more convenient and not much else. It answers the question "how well did this person do at answering tests in the way we like compared to the other students? " It does not answer questions about your future career, intelligence, work ethic, or value. It will never be able to answer those questions.
Post by: Maya24 on September 12, 2018, 06:09:24 pm
Post by: hiyo on October 29, 2018, 02:08:32 am
TERM 4 EXAMS WEEK 1 - [ MONDAY ] - 2 DAYS LEFT TIL EXAMS :)
First of all, sorry for neglecting my VCE journal. I guess after two weeks of not uploading, I felt guilty and neglected my journal even more. At this point, I’m just looking for ways to procrastinate and with the English exam in less than 3 days, I’m under so much stress that I’ve almost uninstalled all the socialising apps and I'm here. I’ll give you guys a quick ‘honest’ update and how much of a disappointment I was being in my final term of high school.
There isn’t much to say about term four, there were a lot of plans for us since we only had to come to school for 2 weeks and then it was SWOTVAC. I honestly didn’t come to the 2 weeks of school at all. In fact, I came to school for about 5 days and stayed at home for the rest. I’ve disappointed a few people by not coming to school for the full last 2 weeks, saying that I’ll ‘regret’ not coming and that ‘10 atar points have been deducted from [my] final atar’. I think I’ve also disappointed my I.T teacher, seeing how I’m the top 3 of the class, but he predicted that I will only get a 40 SS in the final exam.
During SWOTVAC, I honestly don’t think I did enough studying/practice at all. At the moment, I’ve written 4 practice essays for English, 5 exams one and 2 exams two for specialist, 5 exams for physics, 3 exams for I.T, 15 exams one and 6 exams two for methods. English is stressing so much, solely because I’m so convinced of the fact that I won’t get over 30 even though I’ve been given so much time to write practice essays. I go to an underrepresented school, so a score under 30 for English is extremely possible and I am so scared that it’ll be me. I’ve been constantly reminded that I’m ‘better than think’ at English and that I will ‘definitely’ get over 30 for English but how do they know? I haven’t done much practice, the exam matters more than sacs and what if I screw my exam? That’s a 25 for sure. Our school had trial exams over the school holidays and my English marks came back as a ‘7,7,6’. Despite not studying prior to the exam and getting 20/30, I thought to myself that’s pretty amazing considering it’s me.
From my practice exams list, methods is obviously my favourite subject at the moment. I love exam ones, where we don’t have to use a calculator and do everything by hand, it’s so cool. I was genuinely scared of exam two since we had to use calculators and I hate them, I didn’t know how to properly use them so I had to do some Edrolo about calculator functions and ever since I learned them, exam two was a lot easier to complete. However, despite all my efforts, I have never gotten an A+ in the VCAA exams, I would always get a mid-A or a high A but never an A+. I gave up on physics, despite spending the majority of my time on physics, my exam mark always comes out the same, ‘60%’. Specialist is a little different, I get around the 60s to 70s and for English, I get around a 7 - 8, never a 9 or 10. As for I.T, I haven’t handed them in for marking, purely because I know he’s extremely disappointed in me already, pretty sure he’s wishing that I don’t drag down the other students below my rank.
I still want to get into Monash, I dream of it every day. I know the guaranteed entry is an ATAR of 86, but I desperately want an atar of 90, since my family promised to reward me gifts if I do. I’m so sorry for being a disappointment. Even though I’m over here stressing about how I won’t be able to achieve my dream ATAR, my friends are kicking back, relaxing with their online games, probably haven’t started studying and it’s breaking my heart.
P.S: my tutor predicted my atar and apparently, I will get over 90 IF I get a 36 for English and over 40 for i.t… oh no…...nooooooooooooooo :((((( I did get 50/60 for my comparative writing. Even though it was, apparently, everyone’s worst sac, it was my best sac out of text response, language analysis and comparative. Kinda confused, hopeless and praying atm.
Post by: hiyo on November 09, 2018, 11:05:33 pm
I don't even know where to begin. Despite completing more than 16 practice exams for methods and around 8 for specialist maths, I've managed to completely screwed up my exams. The moment I sat in those exams, my mind completely went blank and the more I look at the clock ticking and the time I've got left, my brain complelety froze and I went into a panic. Seeing answers to those exams online made me more depressed because I realised I just GRABBED a solid 50% for both of my maths exams and I am extremely devastated. Maths has been my favourite subjects all year and I was heavily relying on them to bring my ATAR up. I'm so disappointed at myself and I felt like all my work up to now has been a waste. With the realisation that I can't get a 90 ATAR and may BARELY scrap an 85 to get into Melbourne has made me cried over and over again. It's so hard, I even got a nose bleed and vomitted after my spesh exam, knowing that I've finally screwed up one of the easiest exam and that was my last chance to get into monash. It's been so hard to hold my tears back in front of my family, knowing that they've been hoping the best for me and only I know how badly I performed on those exams. I have Specialist Exam 2 on Monday, Physics on Wed and I.T on Friday, but I basically lost all my motivation to try for them because I simply cannot do it anymore. I am a wreck for physics and knowing that exam 1 for specialist was 'easy', exam 2 will kill me even more. I am at the lowest of the lowest state of mind right now and currently considering repeating year 12.
Post by: andytime on November 10, 2018, 12:07:00 am
POST ENGLISH METHODS AND 1/2 SPESH EXAMS
I don't even know where to begin. Despite completing more than 16 practice exams for methods and around 8 for specialist maths, I've managed to completely screwed up my exams. The moment I sat in those exams, my mind completely went blank and the more I look at the clock ticking and the time I've got left, my brain complelety froze and I went into a panic. Seeing answers to those exams online made me more depressed because I realised I just GRABBED a solid 50% for both of my maths exams and I am extremely devastated. Maths has been my favourite subjects all year and I was heavily relying on them to bring my ATAR up. I'm so disappointed at myself and I felt like all my work up to now has been a waste. With the realisation that I can't get a 90 ATAR and may BARELY scrap an 85 to get into Melbourne has made me cried over and over again. It's so hard, I even got a nose bleed and vomitted after my spesh exam, knowing that I've finally screwed up one of the easiest exam and that was my last chance to get into monash. It's been so hard to hold my tears back in front of my family, knowing that they've been hoping the best for me and only I know how badly I performed on those exams. I have Specialist Exam 2 on Monday, Physics on Wed and I.T on Friday, but I basically lost all my motivation to try for them because I simply cannot do it anymore. I am a wreck for physics and knowing that exam 1 for specialist was 'easy', exam 2 will kill me even more. I am at the lowest of the lowest state of mind right now and currently considering repeating year 12.
I'm so sorry that you've had a terrible experience with your exams and I wanted to remind you that it is okay to be disappointed and to cry it out. If you are one to prefer being alone, what I find helpful to do is to write out all my feelings, fears, thoughts and to describe them in words as a way of letting it all out - for some reason, our minds when under so much stress and pressure, start to accumulate all this negativity and chaos but when you write it down, you find there's not too much to say and I hope that is the case for you.
The hardest part now is to do your best to let the past go; acknowledge it as you are doing and then let it go. I believe in you, and I believe that you are able to do it. I hope that the Hilary of the present takes care of themselves (get a good nights sleep, drink lots of water, eat nutritious food, practices breathing deeply and being in the present) and that you stop telling yourself that exam 2 will kill you but rather, reaffirm to yourself that you have prepared thoroughly, you are capable and you truly, truly love maths as I've been able to gauge from your posts! Hilary, I know you're not in the best mindset right now but you can go in on Monday and give that Specialist Exam 2 the best shot you can because if you do that, you cannot have regrets. (I might add, it might be best if you refrain from checking the answers post exams if it stresses you out - I'm honestly a post exam answers avoider because it stresses me out and it seems to have the same effect on you.) On Tuesday, you might do some light revision and make sure you take time to rest, refresh and breathe.Then, on Wednesday, Hilary, you are going to go in and smash that Physics Exam with all you've got and with that energy you gained from resting on Tuesday. Thursday, you are going to take it easy, do light revision again if needed and remind yourself that you can do this. And finally, on Friday, you're in for your final exam which is IT and your adrenaline and inherent energy will kick in and you will do the best that you can once again, but this time, its the last time!!!!! And post IT exam, you are to be proud of yourself, no matter how arduous that journey was, you got to the end. It was you who supported yourself, you who dedicated yourself and you who gave it your all. Take each and every one of these inevitably hard days one step at a time and it will be over more quickly than you realise.
In relation to considering repeating Year 12, that is for future Hilary to deal with and it is up to future Hilary to decide what they would like. Your task is to focus on the upcoming, day by day and truly give it one last push to the end. I know it's hard, but I know you have the strength to keep on pushing and I hope you will.
Sending my energy to you - you can do this.