ATAR Notes: Forum
HSC Stuff => HSC Subjects + Help => HSC Marking and Feedback => Topic started by: discreetalessio on October 04, 2018, 04:42:11 pm
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Hello everyone. If any of you could spare the time to read my essay (even if you just skim it) and offer any criticism at all. That would help. Thanks!
Catalysts may lead to unexpected discoveries which cause individuals to reconsider their view of themselves and/or the world around them.
To what extent is this view explored in the your prescribed text and ONE other related text of your own choosing.
New and unexpected discoveries can arise as a result of an individual’s experiences, acting as a catalyst for them to develop new understandings and values that challenge their perspectives of themselves and the world around them. An individual’s values can be transformed when they are met with new experiences that contradicts their prior context, also resulting in ramifications upon the individual’s perceptions. Within Simon Nasht’s documentary “Frank Hurley: The Man Who Made History”, Hurley’s discoveries stem from his numerous journeys, allowing him to develop new understandings and values. Tim Winton’s short story ‘Neighbours’ also depicts this concept with the couple within the story developing new attitudes as a result of the emotional and intellectual discovery of their neighbour’s compassion. Both texts, despite their form effectively demonstrate an individual’s perspective change as a result of a catalyst.
An individual being subject to unfamiliar circumstances can facilitate in the creation of unexpected discoveries which alter their perception of the world. These discoveries can challenge the individual’s preconceived outlook and provide a new perspective. Hurley’s discoveries during his journeys play a pivotal role in establishing his newfound beliefs and understandings of the world. However, it is specifically his physical discovery of the Macquarie Islands on the Mawson Expedition, that portrays this drastic perceptual transformation. Hurley’s dissatisfaction with his context saw him taken aback by the beauty of nature, emphasised through Nasht’s use of Narrative Voice Over stating “the city boy was stunned by the power of nature.” Nasht utilises archival footage of an interview with Hurley, providing the audience with an understanding of Hurley’s mundane life before he “turned my hobby photography into my profession”. Hurley’s experiences of the undiscovered world having challenged his unenthusiastic approach to life that he had. Nasht also implements the use of non-diegetic sound to heighten Hurley’s sense of awe in regards to his intellectual discovery of the power of photography, with the Mawson expedition acting as a catalyst of transformation for Hurley as he discovers a new understanding and appreciation of the power of photography. Winton’s short story also portrays a perspectival change directly as a result of the couple’s intellectual discovery. Particularly, Winton’s use of repetition of “They shouted, ranted screamed” as a means of characterising the Macedonian family in the eyes of the unnamed couple accentuates the prejudices held by them prior to their shift in values. However the couple’s outlooks and attitudes are only challenged once they are met with kindness by their neighbors due to the couple’s unplanned pregnancy. Winton demonstrates this through the use of the imagery of “autumn merging into winter” as a means of symbolising the couple’s transition in their outlook on their neighbours.
An individual’s contextual influences can influence the impact of discoveries experienced. They can challenge an individual’s preconceived notions, offering new understandings and renewed perceptions of themselves and the world around them. This fundamental concept is evident in Nasht’s documentary through Hurley’s experience of WW1. Previously unexposed to harsh reality, Hurley had “just come from the south, where human life is precious, people are working together to save human life.” This sanctity of life is immediately contrasted through the destruction of Hurley’s innocence, finding “bits of human life all over the place.” Hurley’s disillusionment is accentuated through a disorienting montage of archival footage fading in and out, showing still images of wounded soldiers whilst being overlapped by voice-over extracts of his diary. Hurley’s naive prior context renders his physical discovery of the wounded bodies firmly implanted in his new frame of reference, invoking an intellectual discovery of the true expendability of human life, clearly depicting Hurley’s drastic perceptual change as he is exposed to a new side of humanity. This is evident through the gradual disorientation of the voice-over extracts, fading his speech to the extent where phrases become indistinguishable. Within Winton’s “The Neighbours” the couple are referenced towards having lived a life of aristocracy prior to their settling down in their neighbourhood. Winton through the use of flashback alludes this through “They had lived all their lives in the expansive other suburbs where good neighbours were seldom seen and never heard”, possibly giving reason for the couple’s prejudice, having only ever lived amongst aristocracy . It is not till they are witness to the kindness of the people they seemed to hate so much that their original preconceptions are challenged. The couple are able to develop new attitudes towards their neighbours evidenced by Winton’s implementation of high modality and emotive language within the line “In the street they no longer walked with their eyes lowered. They felt proud and superior”.
An individual’s discovery can have ramifications on not only themselves but the society around them. The portrayal of the Papua New Guinea segment in Nash’s documentary evidently demonstrates this. Nasht implements parallel editing at the start of the sequence, using archival footage as a means to compare both the past and present Papua New Guinea. Although two of the three shots have mirrored images, it is Nashts inclusion of the third shot, that highlights the disparity that has occurred directly as a result of Hurley’s visit. The viewer at first may believe this is as a result of something else, but Nash makes sure to include an indirect interview with a Papua local. We are given a personal statement on the impact Hurley had on the people of PNG, evident through “...destroyed our trust, pride and our identity”, portraying the consequences of Hurley’s discoveries. Nasht’s implementation of an interview with Specht, who reads Hurley’s diary in which he states “I’m on my my own here, I am out to make my name” also demonstrates Hurley’s desires and how they were the cause for his contribution in destroying the traditional values of the Papua New Guinea people. Winton however portrays the emotional and intellectual discovery within the text as having a significant impact on the individuals involved. Winston's juxtaposition of the ending of the text from the beginning demonstrates the change in attitudes that occurs as a result of the new relationships formed. The “Macedonian family were looking up and cheering” directly after the couple’s child was born contrasting the couple from the start who were wary of their neighbours and would never seek to celebrate their child’s birth prior to their discovery. The ramifications of this transition are directly seen through Winston's symbolism of the couple’s pregnancy. The pregnancy which acts a catalyst for the couple’s discovery breaks down the cultural barriers between the neighbours and highlights how the couple’s transition has resulted in them pursuing a new phase of life.
An individual’s preconceived notions can be challenged through unexpected discoveries arising from catalysts. Nasht accomplishes this through depicting the discoveries Hurley makes during the Mawson Expedition and WW1, while Winton captures this through the emotional and intellectual discoveries the couple make, they thought not possible due to their prior context.
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Hello everyone. If any of you could spare the time to read my essay (even if you just skim it) and offer any criticism at all. That would help. Thanks!
Catalysts may lead to unexpected discoveries which cause individuals to reconsider their view of themselves and/or the world around them.
To what extent is this view explored in the your prescribed text and ONE other related text of your own choosing.
New and unexpected discoveries can arise as a result of an individual’s experiences, acting as a catalyst for them to develop new understandings and values that challenge their perspectives of themselves and the world around them. An individual’s values can be transformed when they are met with new experiences that contradicts their prior context, also resulting in ramifications upon the individual’s perceptions. Within Simon Nasht’s documentary “Frank Hurley: The Man Who Made History”, Hurley’s discoveries stem from his numerous journeys, allowing him to develop new understandings and values. Tim Winton’s short story ‘Neighbours’ also depicts this concept with the couple within the story developing new attitudes as a result of the emotional and intellectual discovery of their neighbour’s compassion. Both texts, despite (the differences in??) their form effectively demonstrate an individual’s perspective change as a result of a catalyst.
Experiencing unfamiliar circumstances can facilitate in the creation of unexpected discoveries which alter an individuals perception of the world. Hmm.. Im not sure, but I dont think facilitate is used quite right here.. I think I would just insert the word catalyse into the topic sentence to really reinforce I was answerign the question. So "....unfamiliar circumstances can catalyse unexpected discoveries....." . Not a huge thing tho. These discoveries can challenge the individual’s preconceived outlook and provide a new perspective. (consider, is this sentence really necessary?) Hurley’s discoveries during his journeys play a pivotal role in establishing his newfound beliefs and understandings of the world. However, it is specifically his physical discovery of the Macquarie Islands on the Mawson Expedition, that portrays this drastic perceptual transformation. Hurley’s dissatisfaction with his context saw him taken aback by the beauty of nature, emphasised through Nasht’s use of Narrative VoiceOver stating “the city boy was stunned by the power of nature.” Nasht utilises archival footage of an interview with Hurley, providing the audience with an understanding of Hurley’s mundane life before he “turned my hobby photography into my profession”. Hurley’s experiences of the undiscovered world having challenged his unenthusiastic approach to life that he had. Nasht also implements the use of non-diegetic sound to heighten Hurley’s sense of awe in regards to his intellectual discovery of the power of photography, with the Mawson expedition acting as a catalyst of transformation for Hurley as he discovers a new understanding and appreciation of the power of photography. I love this sentence - but try to begin sentences with idea, and follow it up with technique. Winton’s short story also portrays a perspectival change directly as a result of the couple’s intellectual discovery. Particularly, Winton’s use of repetition of “They shouted, ranted screamed” as a means of characterising the Macedonian family in the eyes of the unnamed couple accentuates the prejudices held by them prior to their shift in values. However the couple’s outlooks and attitudes are only challenged once they are met with kindness by their neighbors due to the couple’s unplanned pregnancy. Winton demonstrates this through the use of the imagery of “autumn merging into winter” as a means of symbolising the couple’s transition in their outlook on their neighbours.
An individual’s contextual influences can influence the impact of discoveries experienced, acting as a catalyst for a renewed outlook on life. They can challenge an individual’s preconceived notions, offering new understandings and renewed perceptions of themselves and the world around them. (consider merging this with tpic sentence) This fundamental concept is evident in Nasht’s documentary through Hurley’s experience of WW1. Previously unexposed to harsh reality, Hurley had “just come from the south, where human life is precious, people are working together to save human life.” This sanctity of life is immediately contrasted through the destruction of Hurley’s innocence, finding “bits of human life all over the place.” Great! Hurley’s disillusionment is accentuated through a disorienting montage of archival footage fading in and out, showing still images of wounded soldiers whilst being overlapped by voice-over extracts of his diary. Hurley’s naive prior context (hmmm - rephrase i think) renders his physical discovery of the wounded bodies firmly implanted in his new frame of reference, invoking an intellectual discovery of the true expendability of human life, clearly depicting Hurley’s drastic perceptual change as he is exposed to a new side of humanity. This is evident through the gradual disorientation of the voice-over extracts, fading his speech to the extent where phrases become indistinguishable. Within Winton’s “The Neighbours” the couple are referenced towards having lived a life of aristocracy prior to their settling down in their neighbourhood. Winton through the use of flashback alludes this through “They had lived all their lives in the expansive other suburbs where good neighbours were seldom seen and never heard”, possibly giving reason for the couple’s prejudice, having only ever lived amongst aristocracy . It is not till they are witness to the kindness of the people they seemed to hate so much that their original preconceptions are challenged. The couple are able to develop new attitudes towards their neighbours evidenced by Winton’s implementation of high modality and emotive language within the line “In the street they no longer walked with their eyes lowered. They felt proud and superior”.
An individual’s discovery can have ramifications on not only themselves but the society around them. The portrayal of the Papua New Guinea segment in Nash’s documentary evidently demonstrates this. Nasht implements parallel editing at the start of the sequence, using archival footage as a means to compare both the past and present Papua New Guinea. Although two of the three shots have mirrored images, it is Nashts inclusion of the third shot, that highlights the disparity that has occurred directly as a result of Hurley’s visit. The viewer at first may believe this is as a result of something else, but Nash makes sure to include an indirect interview with a Papua local. We are given a personal statement on the impact Hurley had on the people of PNG, evident through “...destroyed our trust, pride and our identity”, portraying the consequences of Hurley’s discoveries. Nasht’s implementation of an interview with Specht, who reads Hurley’s diary in which he states “I’m on my my own here, I am out to make my name” also demonstrates Hurley’s desires and how they were the cause for his contribution in destroying the traditional values of the Papua New Guinea people. Winton however portrays the emotional and intellectual discovery within the text as having a significant impact on the individuals involved. Winston's juxtaposition of the ending of the text from the beginning demonstrates the change in attitudes that occurs as a result of the new relationships formed. The “Macedonian family were looking up and cheering” directly after the couple’s child was born contrasting the couple from the start who were wary of their neighbours and would never seek to celebrate their child’s birth prior to their discovery. The ramifications of this transition are directly seen through Winston's symbolism of the couple’s pregnancy. The pregnancy which acts a catalyst for the couple’s discovery breaks down the cultural barriers between the neighbours and highlights how the couple’s transition has resulted in them pursuing a new phase of life.
An individual’s preconceived notions can be challenged through unexpected discoveries arising from catalysts. Nasht accomplishes this through depicting the discoveries Hurley makes during the Mawson Expedition and WW1, while Winton captures this through the emotional and intellectual discoveries the couple make, they thought not possible due to their prior context.
I only had a very quick skim of the first ish part of your essay .
In my opinion, its really good - well done :)
Overall, just try to have techniques at the tail end of sentences rather than at the beginning of them. So instead of
"Nasht utilises archival footage of an interview with Hurley, providing the audience with an understanding of Hurley’s mundane life before he “turned my hobby photography into my profession,"
you might like to say
"Antithetically suggesting the importance of discovery by proving how its absence can hinder self-growth, Nash narrates Hurley's mundane life "before he turned photography into his proffession" to imply an unenthusiastic approach to life shelters individuals from vast possibilities of discovery. "
Idk. But it goes idea, technique, effect .
Good luck :)
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Idk. But it goes idea, technique, effect .
Hi...
Just wanted to add, there is no right or wrong way to order these. Having techniques at the start vs the end is equally good, as long as the sentence makes sentence. Also, sometimes having a technique at the start can help maintain an active voice rather than passive. :)
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Overall, remember that discovery is about how the concept is represented (like in mod C if you do advanced). Try and link back to your concept/thesis as much as you can and you can refer to general stuff like the documentary form rather than specific quotes also