ATAR Notes: Forum
HSC Stuff => HSC Subjects + Help => HSC Marking and Feedback => Topic started by: _OwO_ on June 17, 2019, 06:02:25 pm
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Hi all!
I'm doing an assignment of South Africa, specifically the apartheid. Any help would be greatly appreciated, even if it is to check vocabulary!
THANK YOU
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Hey there,
I added a few comments in the document.
Just some overall thoughts:
- Some of your sentences are way too long
- There were a few grammar and phrasing issues (don't worry, these are fixable!)
- You also tend to use a lot of emotive language in your writing. Maybe one or two I wouldn't be too fussed, but mainly we should be making judgements (e.g. severely impacted)
- I do like your use of detail (e.g. the acts, statistics, dates etc.)
Also, a reminder that I didn't study South Africa so if there are any comments that didn't align with your knowledge, feel free to ignore it! (Though a quick fyi, some HSC markers will mark essays with topics that they have no clue about/didn't teach so I guess this is good practice to prepare for that!)
Hope this helps :)
-
Hey there,
I added a few comments in the document.
Just some overall thoughts:
- Some of your sentences are way too long
- There were a few grammar and phrasing issues (don't worry, these are fixable!)
- You also tend to use a lot of emotive language in your writing. Maybe one or two I wouldn't be too fussed, but mainly we should be making judgements (e.g. severely impacted)
- I do like your use of detail (e.g. the acts, statistics, dates etc.)
Also, a reminder that I didn't study South Africa so if there are any comments that didn't align with your knowledge, feel free to ignore it! (Though a quick fyi, some HSC markers will mark essays with topics that they have no clue about/didn't teach so I guess this is good practice to prepare for that!)
Hope this helps :)
Thank you so much! You're a life saver!!