ATAR Notes: Forum
VCE Stuff => VCE English Studies => VCE Subjects + Help => VCE English & EAL => Topic started by: clinton_09 on April 29, 2008, 06:39:11 pm
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here is my comparative anlaysis, sorry i dont have the articles but any advice or tips on anything about it would be awesome. Thanks
The highly discussed controversial issue concerning wild party boy Corey Worthington and his party has provided heated debate in the community and media. The party which was estimated at 500 people, rocked and turned the quiet Narre Warren suburb into a frenzied riot of alcohol and hostility. Corey’s parents were in Queensland and had not granted permission for him to host the party. Christine Nixon the police chief commissioner is considering presenting the estimated $20,000 bill to the party organiser, which has ignited an animated debate about whether he should be blamed. The subsequent letter “Don’t blame the partying teen” and the cartoon by Alistair Paton reflect this hotly contended dispute.
The title of Michael O’Shea’s letter “Don’t blame the partying teen” is the contention in itself. The title is neither dramatic nor emotive but mildly suggests the basis of the letter. O’Shea’s letter commences “I was amazed”. The tone is subtle mild anger that fails to lift the reader into a state of immediate excitement but rather leaves them in the same manner as they began reading, uninspired. This is dissimilar to Paton’s cartoon which uses comical humour through the verbal communication between Corey and his parents to strongly express the contention “Corey is blind to the consequences of his actions and social norms he should be following”. Paton’s cartoon has an immediate impact that draws the reader’s attention, whilst O’Shea’s subtle approach to the title and opening paragraph does little to influence the reader’s beliefs to coincide with his own.
O’Shea’s efforts in attempting to justify Corey’s irresponsible and unapologetic demeanor by saying “While inviting 500 people may be immature and foolish, he is only 16” relies on the reader also believing that all sixteen year olds are unwise and undeveloped. This scathing attack on the future of this nation would not be taken gratefully amongst teens that pride themselves on their responsibility and their ability to foresee potential problematic perils.
A direct comparison of Corey’s foolish juvenile behaviour is shown again in Paton’s cartoon where Corey says to his mother and father “Hey, come in. the party’s still going just don’t tell my parents”. Paton paints Corey as brainless and blind to his own parents. The cartoon and the letter both position Corey as a reckless immature teenager who is dominated by his own foolishness, however the former humorously declares through comical mirth whilst the latter avows through subtle suggestion.
Paton’s cartoon employs obviousness rather than O’Shea’s subtleness. Corey wearing the large thick dark sunglasses relates to his own comment as it may be seen as a metaphor to he is blind to the consequences and the circumstances that will arise because of his “immaturity”. His glasses act as a barrier to the reality that awaits him. This is not the only metaphor that can be drawn from Paton’s cartoon. The broken window that separates Corey and his parents emphasises the wildness and unruliness that happened. The broken window may also be viewed as a metaphor to the broken respect Corey possesses for his parents. The father’s saddened “predictable” expression reflects the brokenness between the family and the hurt that will erupt from it.
This cartoon shows a different contrast to O’Shea’s letter which explores the suggestion Corey is not to blame. This is constructed through a series of if statements to create logical structure. “If police can track down the partygoers who damaged police vehicles, then by all means charge them”. The reason this comment is logical is O’Shea states Corey is not to blame because organising a party is not against the law, but damaging property of the law is. Through logical structures readers will be encouraged to concur with O’Shea because logical sense is deemed right. O’Shea’s letter applies higher regard to Corey in stating he is not to blame while Paton’s cartoon illustrates Corey in a light that perceives juvenile and thoughtless.
Paton’s cartoon and O’Shea’s letter both reflect views about wild party boy Corey Worthington. Although they reflect on the same issue both authors use different influences to attempt to persuade the reader into accepting their contentions. O’Shea uses a subtle mild outraged tone whereas Paton’s cartoon is obvious in its approach and carries a strong message regarding Corey’s lack of attention to social norms and responsibilities. Paton’s cartoon has hidden messages that people interpret differently according to their insight and beliefs whilst O’Shea’s letter is relatively straight forward with no hidden twists or turns. People who learn and relate better to visual images will find Paton’s cartoon more convincing rather than a person who relates better to written letters. Paton’s cartoon captures the reader for the reason “a picture tells more than a 1000 words”. It has a stronger tone with an easier identifiable message which encourages the reader to agree with what Paton is contending, compared to the conservatively structured argument “Corey is not to blame”. O’Shea fails to use impact grabbing language to impress and ignite the reader into believing his argument thus failing to capture the hearts of the open minded readers.
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I can't read through it all but I would recommend changing the opening sentence to something like...
The prominent and controversial issue of self-confessed 'party boy', Corey Worthington and his antics, has ignited heated debate in the community and the broader media about teenagers, their responsibilities and their attitude to society.
(Everything after "broader media" can be manipulated to express what issues you feel the "Corey" situation has conveyed.This immediately shows the examiner that you understand the issue rather than just saying that debate has been prominent in the media)
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Worthington?
Why do i remember that as Delaney? =S
that aside
a couple things I remember my english teacher saying:
1. always include how a particular technique positions the reader. I couldnt find many examples where you did that, so you might include them when you describe particular things.
2. your conclusion included analysis not discussed before, such as "It has a stronger tone with an easier identifiable message which encourages the reader to agree with what Paton is contending"
3. avoid evaluation of techniques, analyse HOW they are used and its effects, not how WELL it was used. this also happede to be in the conclusion "O’Shea fails to use impact grabbing language to impress and ignite the reader into believing his argument thus failing to capture the hearts of the open minded readers."
(at least I think these are the guidelines, though mods might have different opinions)
other than that, it was a very nice read
except why is it Worthington? =S
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When doing a comparative lang anal I'm pretty sure you should evaluate which uses of languages are better but not sure in this case.
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thanks for the tips mao and costargh they have helped alot. As to mao yeh im not sure what his last name is i've heard it's Delaney and then other people say it's Worthington. Not sure whats the go with that
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When doing a comparative lang anal I'm pretty sure you should evaluate which uses of languages are better but not sure in this case.
my first piece of comparative analysis involved a lot of evaluation of how effective techniques were, and I got told to avoid them (along with using past tense).
thats my teacher though...
will be great if mods can get back to us on how examiners might expect things like these.
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Worthington?
Why do i remember that as Delaney? =S
except why is it Worthington? =S
Delaney was used at first because the media was not allowed to say Corey's "real" name.
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Worthington?
Why do i remember that as Delaney? =S
except why is it Worthington? =S
Delaney was used at first because the media was not allowed to say Corey's "real" name.
good one jsimmo, that makes sense now
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Worthington?
Why do i remember that as Delaney? =S
except why is it Worthington? =S
Delaney was used at first because the media was not allowed to say Corey's "real" name.
Oh, I thought I read somewhere that 'Delaney' was his real dad's name. But his parents are divorced, and the mum changed to Worthington, and maybe it was unknown to the media which last name Corey took.
At least, I think I read that. :S
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i thought everyone said Worthington Delaney like apple said ones each parents.
i have my comparative sac today arghh
and its on 3 things arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
but i got an a on my oral :)
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my comparative analysis starts tomorrow (goes for 180 minutes)!!!!!
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Good luck man. Don't write too much like I did LOL ... in excess of 6 pages for a language analysis LOL
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Good luck man. Don't write too much like I did LOL ... in excess of 6 pages for a language analysis LOL
DAMN! 6 pages LOL
How did you 'structure' it?
I'm going to do: intro (all 3 articles), first article a, introduce comparative articles, article b, article c, article c, article b, conlcusion (all 3 articles)
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I did
Combined intro for all 3.
Article 1
Article 2 (linked by something like .."while article 1 by No Name offers this view, article b by No Person offers this view).
Article 3 (Same linkage)
Conclusion for all 3 combined with final discussion on which article offers the most effective forms of persuasion.
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Good luck man. Don't write too much like I did LOL ... in excess of 6 pages for a language analysis LOL
wow thats pretty lengthy. Must have been good articles to write on, hopefully i get some good articles to write on
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Lol at least she can't complain that I wasn't thorough enough =P Oh btw I got top range mark for mine =) YAYY
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gotta be happy with that, good on ya.
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Good luck man. Don't write too much like I did LOL ... in excess of 6 pages for a language analysis LOL
That's good! You can't really have an analysis that's 'too long' in timed SACs, due to the time factor. How long did it take you to do 6+ pages?
In English Language, I managed to write about 6.5 pages in 90 minutes, and still, it was unfinished (but I did a good conclusion to make it seem complete)