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VCE Stuff => Victorian Education Discussion => Topic started by: VCE247 on March 03, 2011, 04:39:04 pm

Title: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: VCE247 on March 03, 2011, 04:39:04 pm
As the title says...school said attending is compulsory, but if they said if you had a good reason you didnt have to go, so what excuses would they accept?
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Greatness on March 03, 2011, 04:39:44 pm
I want to study.....
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: pi on March 03, 2011, 04:41:08 pm
Why is it compulsory in the first place? What is your real reason for not wanting to go? Sometimes honesty is the best approach for these things.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: sgeorge on March 03, 2011, 04:51:49 pm
The year 12 formal is an experience, you should try to go unless you actually have a good reason. Go and have a bit of fun.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Russ on March 03, 2011, 05:04:34 pm
I want to study.....

This is not a good reason for skipping your formal
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Greatness on March 03, 2011, 05:10:02 pm
I want to study.....

This is not a good reason for skipping your formal
I was joking :P It would be way too nerdy.
What's your reason for not wanting to attend?
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: VCE247 on March 03, 2011, 05:11:24 pm
lol well im not really an outgoing guy...so it doesnt really appeal to me
+ money is also quite an issue :S

i dont think the school would approve either reason though..

Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: pi on March 03, 2011, 05:12:57 pm
lol well im not really an outgoing guy...so it doesnt really appeal to me

Fair enough then. Call up sick and if needs be, get a doctors certificate.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: appianway on March 03, 2011, 05:17:10 pm
How can paying extra money be compulsory? Try to go if you can - it's a really enjoyable evening. I didn't go to my school formal, but that was optional and I was overseas... but everyone was talking about it for ages afterwards.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Russ on March 03, 2011, 05:19:32 pm
How can paying extra money be compulsory? Try to go if you can - it's a really enjoyable evening. I didn't go to my school formal, but that was optional and I was overseas... but everyone was talking about it for ages afterwards.

Private schools have a lot of leeway in what they can and can't do but getting into a dispute over whether they could force you to pay wouldn't be worth it.

You'll have a way better time than you think you will.

Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Water on March 03, 2011, 05:25:43 pm
if your scared , just learn some party moves in those dance studios around Melbourne, then go home, and rock to the "I'm on a Boat" or the classic "Low - Flo Rida," then own that dance floor likes its yours. its a once in a life time opportunity brooooo.   ;D
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: littlebecc on March 03, 2011, 05:31:45 pm
You should go. It's a good experience.
Buuut, if you can't then....dog ate your suit?
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Ghost! on March 03, 2011, 05:39:40 pm
Pretend to be deaf and ignore them?
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: EvangelionZeta on March 03, 2011, 06:23:32 pm
Just pretend you have another committment on the night or something, like a forced family holiday.  Still, I'd recommend it - high school formals are awesome!
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: david10d on March 03, 2011, 06:26:46 pm
nothing like hitting the d-floor after a good study sesh
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Souljette_93 on March 03, 2011, 06:39:30 pm
What can the school possibly do to you for not coming? I guess it's really up to you if you do or don't want to go-you never know, you may change your mind by then. But for now, just get your parents to agree and tell your school your honest opinion and your 'rents are cool with it.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: DarkVisor on March 03, 2011, 06:45:02 pm
Go, you won't regret it :)
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: flash36 on March 03, 2011, 09:37:00 pm
If you can't get a hold of a few bucks to hire a suit and buy a few drinks at your year 12 formal with the group of people you'll never be with together as a whole ever again, just so you can study for a few extra hours, I question your integrity a great deal.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Hutchoo on March 03, 2011, 09:40:44 pm
nothing like hitting the d-floor after a good study sesh
This.

MANG, It's year 12! This is literally a once in a lifetime opportunity (unless you repeat year 12).
Just go.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: minilunchbox on March 03, 2011, 10:42:56 pm
Year 12 formal wasn't that amazing. But ours was a senior formal and there were year 10s and 11s there as well.

Graduation/Valedictory dinner was where it's at.

Anyway, just say that tickets are too expensive and get your parents to call/write a note.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: taiga on March 04, 2011, 05:52:24 pm
If you can't go because of a lack of money , nothing at school can really be compulsory. You're at Haileybury another 200 bucks added to your several thousand isn't all that much; and for a guy, a good suit is an investment not a once off thing.

If you don't want to go because you're not outgoing, man up and attend.

The other common one is that you don't want to go because you can't find a date; girls love formals and will go with almost anyone they know reasonably well, either way even if you don't have a date, people won't really care/notice.

You will probably (even if only slightly) regret it if you don't go.

P.S if I knew you in person/full circumstances there would be a high chance of a lot of cursing/swearing/teasing/belittling at you in this post (did this on a regular basis to people who were whining about formal last year).
PPS. those people had fun :P so give it a shot and maybe you'll like it
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Russ on March 04, 2011, 09:25:32 pm
The other common one is that you don't want to go because you can't find a date; girls love formals and will go with almost anyone they know reasonably well, either way even if you don't have a date, people won't really care/notice.

Hell, I would go to the formal of someone I didn't know at all, they're very rarely crap
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: slothpomba on March 04, 2011, 10:21:18 pm
Probably worth while for us to know why you don't want to go exactly, so we can help more.

If you're not comfortable sharing it thats fine.

At our school it wasnt compulsory, if you didnt buy tickets and didnt go no one really called you up on it, well except your mates maybe but if you told them enough im sure they'd understand.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Romperait on March 04, 2011, 11:15:30 pm
"Couldn't pick up on the train" = Good excuse
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: RainerWolfram on March 04, 2011, 11:30:06 pm
I, ______, will be at a teacher's union protest demanding better pay and conditions for our hardworking teachers and hence cannot attend the formal.

Yours Faithfully,

_________
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: _henwee on March 04, 2011, 11:34:11 pm
Why do you need an excuse? if you REALLY don't wanna go, then just don't. =]
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: bomb on March 05, 2011, 12:24:45 am
If you can't get a hold of a few bucks to hire a suit and buy a few drinks at your year 12 formal with the group of people you'll never be with together as a whole ever again, just so you can study for a few extra hours, I question your integrity a great deal.
You're being a bit harsh.

If he doesn't have the money, then so be it - $200 can go a long way towards other, essential things. His family has spent thousands to send him to a good school so maybe finding money for things like the formal gets tough at times.

If it's because you want to study, trust me those extra few hours wont make much of a difference. The time you saved will be consumed by your friends telling you how great it was or telling you that you should have come - to be honest, you probably wont study most of that time anyway.

Although, if you can get a hold of $150 (When's the formal anyway? Start saving?) I daresay you can get a decent suit or maybe even hire one.

The formal isn't even that great, well ours wasn't anyway. You'll be fine without it, you'll probably regret it for about a week lol.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: QuantumJG on March 05, 2011, 09:37:15 am
I just want to say that it's 3 years since I was in year 12 and those memories of me trying to dance still haven't gone away.

For me the best part of the formal was being in a suit - that probably doesn't fit me anymore. I'm just not a sociable person and when I am, I engage in probably the most geekiest conversations like me and my friends arguing about how to pronounce 'Fourier'.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: ninwa on March 05, 2011, 01:17:35 pm
If you don't want to go because you're not outgoing, man up and attend.
That's easy for you to say. Some people are actually get physically sick at the thought of being around so many people. Not everybody is as popular/outgoing as you are.

$200 can be a lot of money. Just because he is at Haileybury doesn't mean he is well-off. Maybe he's on a full scholarship and his parents are struggling. Who are you to judge?

To the OP, if you tell your school you don't want to go they can't really force you to sign up. I know how annoying private schools can be about this sort of thing. Just be firm about it - what can they possibly do?

edit: what is a "good reason" to them? Can you plead financial hardship? They're hardly going to make you give them a copy of your parents' bank accounts or something.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: taiga on March 05, 2011, 06:15:24 pm
I don't think popularity is really a factor of it, nor should my personality be used against me in an argument. To suggest that the formal is for popular/outgoing people is also a bit ridiculous; most schools have an overwhelming majority of their students attending their formal/ball. I know you are trying to emphasize with such types of personality, but is the habit of feeling sick at the thought of being around people something which anyone, especially a school, is trying to endorse?

Your argument about money is perhaps understandable (as somewhat addressed in my post), but I am pretty sure that the formal is made compulsory to both make the event as fun as possible for everyone, and also somewhere in the back of someone's mind, it is to encourage appropriate social behavior.

If you are actually in some financial hardship, just to weigh it up; a Limo will cost 30 dollars (if you want one), your ticket(s) are probably 90(180) dollars, a corsage is 20 (if you want one); and as I said before a suit is an investment, so if you can spare it, I think it is worth it. That said, your mates will (should) understand completely if you just come on your own (having a date doesn't matter much).
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: LOVEPHYSICS on March 05, 2011, 06:20:09 pm
What does questioning his integrity have anything to do with the fact that he is not an outgoing person and is perhaps, financially troubled?

200 bucks or so is not simply a 'few bucks.' You sir have obviously no experience with earning money, and also hold no regard to the fact that not everyone has a million dollar sugar-daddy they could live off from. Your comments really did do your image as a shallow and ignorant guy. It is your integrity that ought to be questioned, not his.

Also, what does being an extrovert has to do with your virility? There's absolutely no logical correlation within that.

No school should force their students into events, unless it is to do with learning and thus no excuses are needed. I don't actually think that you need to physically do anything, but if you have to, just tell them the truth- the formal does not interest you and that you are also not financially at the best position to attend. Tell them the truth and get over it.

Personally, I didn't attend the formal. I believe that its a waste of money and unnecessary, going as far as to Carlton at nigh, hire limos, suits and the event money by itself just cost a lot. My parents actually wanted me to go, and they are also willing to pay for everything but I said no because I can see better use with that money and time. That's just me. And for the friends bit, a couple of casual barbecues, night outs or lanning parties are good enough for me. You can have a great party in casual, simple wear, and the tux just doesn't cut it for me. But that's only my opinion anyways. Obviously, I am sure that people enjoy dressing up in a suit at times and find the whole experience of it rewarding. And I have no problem with that as well.

Just don't make your belief/interest a need for others to abide by. After all, we are all very different people.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: flash36 on March 05, 2011, 06:40:55 pm
My point was that the formal, for most, is a once-off event that will most likely be a memorable one. If money/another plausible reason is to blame then fair enough. My point was that if you're able to go but choose not to in order to save a bit of money or study some more, then I think your priorities are in the wrong order.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: LOVEPHYSICS on March 05, 2011, 06:45:43 pm
Why, it simply does not interest me. Money wasn't a problem, and I don't recall using the time to study. I just believe that there are better ways out there to have a farewell party, be it financial or the 'fun bit'. And the formal wasn't once off, not in our school anyways, they organised 3 formals from year 11 to 12, and also a Valedictory. That's like 4 formals in 2 years time and needless to say, a lot of unnecessary money spent.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Cianyx on March 05, 2011, 06:57:23 pm
Spread a rumour that you plan to indecently expose yourself. You will be banned from the place quicker than Osama trying to get an American visa

If it's because you are sort of a timid person, i could halp by posting Courage Wolf pictures until you go
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: flash36 on March 05, 2011, 07:01:07 pm
Well our school only had one, so I suppose I appreciated ours more than you would.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: ninwa on March 05, 2011, 07:34:21 pm
I know you are trying to emphasize with such types of personality, but is the habit of feeling sick at the thought of being around people something which anyone, especially a school, is trying to endorse?

I am not "endorsing" it, merely pointing out that if someone really has such crippling social anxiety, telling them to "man up" is not the best way to go about things.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Visionz on March 06, 2011, 04:41:53 pm
tell them you want to be a virgin hermit for the rest of your life.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: VCEMan94 on March 06, 2011, 05:20:08 pm
^this coming from a Liverpool supporter

but seriously, no need to attack the guy...
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Visionz on March 06, 2011, 06:36:12 pm
says the guy attacking me for being a scouser :(

Im not attacking the guy just challenging him.
Its easy to stay in your comfort zone. If you work in that area for the rest of your life though what else are you going to miss out on?? You may have convinced yourself youre not interested in doing what most people would see as a lot of fun, but deep deep down you probably wish you were one of those people who enjoy opportunities like these.

Maybe this isnt the time for OP to come out of his shell. But if there is no desire to one day challenge themself then what are they living for? Do you really want to be THAT GUY, when if you pushed yourself you could be whoever the fuck you wanted to be?

I dunno some people just arent wired like me...
 
As long as youre striving towards whatever you want to be then good job man, keep it up.. but if you cant look in the mirror and honestly tell yourself the future youve got planned will bring you success and fulfillment, then youre in a real situation..
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: david10d on March 06, 2011, 06:41:42 pm
says the guy attacking me for being a scouser :(

Im not attacking the guy just challenging him.
Its easy to stay in your comfort zone. If you work in that area for the rest of your life though what else are you going to miss out on?? You may have convinced yourself youre not interested in doing what most people would see as a lot of fun, but deep deep down you probably wish you were one of those people who enjoy opportunities like these.

Maybe this isnt the time for OP to come out of his shell. But if there is no desire to one day challenge themself then what are they living for? Do you really want to be THAT GUY, when if you pushed yourself you could be whoever the fuck you wanted to be?

I dunno some people just arent wired like me...
 
As long as youre striving towards whatever you want to be then good job man, keep it up.. but if you cant look in the mirror and honestly tell yourself the future youve got planned will bring you success and fulfillment, then youre in a real situation..

FINALLY, SOME BALLS ON VCENOTES
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Dr.Lecter on March 06, 2011, 06:42:05 pm
Humans are supposed to rationalize and think critically, Visionz does have a point.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Water on March 06, 2011, 06:50:03 pm
says the guy attacking me for being a scouser :(

Im not attacking the guy just challenging him.
Its easy to stay in your comfort zone. If you work in that area for the rest of your life though what else are you going to miss out on?? You may have convinced yourself youre not interested in doing what most people would see as a lot of fun, but deep deep down you probably wish you were one of those people who enjoy opportunities like these.

Maybe this isnt the time for OP to come out of his shell. But if there is no desire to one day challenge themself then what are they living for? Do you really want to be THAT GUY, when if you pushed yourself you could be whoever the fuck you wanted to be?

I dunno some people just arent wired like me...
 
As long as youre striving towards whatever you want to be then good job man, keep it up.. but if you cant look in the mirror and honestly tell yourself the future youve got planned will bring you success and fulfillment, then youre in a real situation..

FINALLY, SOME BALLS ON VCENOTES


+1
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: taiga on March 06, 2011, 07:05:04 pm

Visionz for president!
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: LOVEPHYSICS on March 06, 2011, 08:05:49 pm
"As long as youre striving towards whatever you want to be then good job man, keep it up.. but if you cant look in the mirror and honestly tell yourself the future youve got planned will bring you success and fulfillment, then youre in a real situation.. " Visonz

I am lost. What does that have to do with anything about OP's formal issue? Are you trying to say that just because OP might be an introvert, he hasn't the balls to look at himself in the mirror and plan for a decent future? Just because someone's more of an introvert doesn't mean that they have no goals, low self-esteem or has no understanding about themselves in general. No, you are not challenging him, you are provoking him, and perhaps preying on the fact that he is unable to defend himself, given your assumption that all introverts are seemingly naive and fearful.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Water on March 06, 2011, 08:14:22 pm
No offence LovePHYSICS, but

From The OP:

"lol well im not really an outgoing guy...so it doesnt really appeal to me
+ money is also quite an issue :S

i dont think the school would approve either reason though..
"


If you interpret this, then it appears that he hasn't been to a formal once, and it also appears to me, that you have. So, what does it mean? It means, that we are advising him to at least, go to the formal to try it out.

Put money aside,

There is more to lose in not going to a formal during your time in high school , than to go to a formal once. And if he hasn't been to a formal once, then wouldn't your encouragement to him only serve to reinforce his perception of formals, that it isn't "very appealing." Clearly, if someone hasn't experienced something, they should experience it before labeling it.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Ghost! on March 06, 2011, 08:27:55 pm
IMO this thread should have been locked a long time ago, everybody's comments are based on assumptions, and considering the OP hasn't posted since this thread was opened, no good can come from any of this discussion. Not trying to moderate or anything, but yeah.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: LOVEPHYSICS on March 06, 2011, 08:38:30 pm
Please read my previous posts. I have never participated in the formal.

First off, he did not ask for our opinion or evaluation about the formal, he asked for 'good excuses.' We are not supposed to give our opinions or push him to attend the formal in the first place. That said, positive encouragement for him to go to the formal is great, but they are quite a few posts previously that made unnecessary attacks on his virility and integrity.

Secondly, I don't see the point in putting money aside, just like you have quoted from him, "money is also quite an issue," so the financial part does play a role and reason for him not to participate.  His family may be financial troubled and thus he doesn't wish to place a greater financial burden on them.

Finally, I have never fostered or imposed any negative perceptions of formal on other people, like I have acknowledged, many people find it enjoyable to dress up in a suit and rendezvous. I did not in any way, attempt to reinforce his perception of formals as unappealing.
 
"There is more to lose in not going to a formal during your time in high school , than to go to a formal once. " In the end, that's only a matter of opinion. I have no regrets in not participating in any of those formals. "Clearly, if someone hasn't experienced something, they should experience it before labeling it." With all due respect, that strikes me as a very naive outlook on life, realistically, we don't have the time nor the effort to smell each and every individual roses of the universe. For example, I don't need to experience bungee jumping to know that it would be an unpleasant experience given that I am not comfortable with great heights. Ultimately, it is up to the individual to decide what to pass and what to pursue, and regrets are something that we must tolerate and overcome.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Water on March 06, 2011, 08:43:40 pm
@Above Post, I don't want to provoke you or anything. But Bungee Jumping can be done in your entire lifetime. contrary to high school, you only go to high school from 12 - 17 years of age, give or take. High school only happens once. That Formal High school will also only happen once or twice in any person's lifetime. It might end up being a regret, not everyone has the luxury to have 4 formals like yours.




Tbh,like Ghost,  I think this topic should be closed. I think the poster has gotten enough advice, from both sides of the spectrum.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: LOVEPHYSICS on March 06, 2011, 08:48:22 pm
I do not understand why there should be a spectrum of 2 sides in the first place. We are supposed to help him find 'good excuses,' and not argue about whether the formal is worth-going or whether OP has balls or not. And really, what OP seems to get more out of this thread is not advice; but rather in-your-face attacks and balls bashing comments from unnecessary posts. It's sad really.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Visionz on March 06, 2011, 08:52:00 pm
"As long as youre striving towards whatever you want to be then good job man, keep it up.. but if you cant look in the mirror and honestly tell yourself the future youve got planned will bring you success and fulfillment, then youre in a real situation.. " Visonz

I am lost. What does that have to do with anything about OP's formal issue? Are you trying to say that just because OP might be an introvert, he hasn't the balls to look at himself in the mirror and plan for a decent future? Just because someone's more of an introvert doesn't mean that they have no goals, low self-esteem or has no understanding about themselves in general. No, you are not challenging him, you are provoking him, and perhaps preying on the fact that he is unable to defend himself, given your assumption that all introverts are seemingly naive and fearful.

If you read my post as a whole then youll understand exactly what I was saying in that little extract.

Ill lay it out for you though...
OP is socially challenged. He has no legitimate reason not to go to the formal, hence the thread. Hes not being truthful to himself anyway, money is an issue blah blah, when the reason is psychological. Hes ignoring the real reasons. Validation will just reinforce his thinking and we'll see the same shit in the future. (Honestly, this thread is a lie. OP has said his stuff in a way that he hopes we will swallow easily. He hopes we reply the way he has planned in his head - ie. 'just say this, just say that..' then he'll use that acceptance [of his refusal to go] as reason to do the same in the future.. know what I mean? He needs those typical responses so he can quieten that one part of his psyche that knows its restricting him. Eventually that part of your mind shuts off, goes silent, you ignore logic and you cannot see that what youre doing is doing damage)

Im not saying he has to go to the formal now but hopefully it can plant the seed in his head at least (if this is the problem) and maybe he'll work on getting better in these situations sometime in the future. Baby steps.
Its just antisocial behaviour if not a phase, is a vicious cycle. If not tackled head on he could spiral out of control in the future and end up far from where he would really like to be.  

My first formal/AP was a great experience and one of the best nights of my life tbh.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: LOVEPHYSICS on March 06, 2011, 08:55:17 pm
"@Above Post, I don't want to provoke you or anything. But Bungee Jumping can be done in your entire lifetime. contrary to high school, you only go to high school from 12 - 17 years of age, give or take. High school only happens once. That Formal High school will also only happen once or twice in any person's lifetime. It might end up being a regret, not everyone has the luxury to have 4 formals like yours."

I still don't get why we are evaluating the importance of attending the prom/formal. That's not the point of this thread in the first place. And the bungee jumping analogy is made to explain the flaw in your reasoning of, "Clearly, if someone hasn't experienced something, they should experience it before labeling it." We don't need to assess whether the analogy holds a once-in-a- lifetime importance to deem it as a credible or valid point, because the importance of the event is not in question. I am merely explaining the weakness in your life-philosophy.

I know you are not trying to provoke me Water, and I am fine with such debates, as long as it it healthy and is done in a reasonable way.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: taiga on March 06, 2011, 08:56:35 pm
You can't expect a thread like this not to invoke a response LOVEPHYSICS; most these people (in a masculine boy's school tone) are pretty surprised as to why one would go out of their way to make an excuse. If there are financial issues; I can understand, but to not want to go because of it "not being your thing" is an actual concern. In all honesty; I think that having a habit of not wanting to attend social events can be rather detrimental in so many different ways; not just for your immediate social "status" as such, but that sort of attitude is more likely than not going to have some negative effect (be it big or small) in the future.

Is there a place for such discussion? Perhaps not in this thread; but the OP has clearly invoked a pretty damn response from a majority of people in asking the question; so you can't say that we can not contribute to this thread unless we give him excuses to not attend.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Kennybhoy on March 06, 2011, 09:00:39 pm
I didn't attend he senior social in year 11 and I found myself stuck at home playing tetris and watching YouTube videos of people getting hurt.

Seriously, what would you be doing instead?
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: LOVEPHYSICS on March 06, 2011, 09:06:49 pm
We are responding on a internet community with rules, and if I am not mistaken, one of those rules are to keep to the topic. If comments do go out of topic slightly, it is not of any concern unless it is considerably negative, and in this case, several comments did spiral out of control.

We are not here to judge and condemn anyone, calling someone else 'socially challenged' reiterates my point that many are having a go at him. And given that we have no idea who he is, we can only answer the questions that he specified, and not generalising unhealthy and illogical assumptions, "es not being truthful to himself anyway, money is an issue blah blah, when the reason is psychological. Hes ignoring the real reasons..."

Besides, do you think making face bashing comments on him would make him improve his self-confidence, if he really does has a personal esteem problem?
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: burbs on March 06, 2011, 09:09:12 pm
Just a small thing - The bungee jumping example doesn't seem to fit, and seems a bit odd. A fear of heights is NOT a good thing to have by any means, and actually bungee jumping is a great way of getting over that fear. Anyone who has bungee jumped will tell you how it was an invigorating experience and helped them to get over their fear.
I myself had mild vertigo but one 52m jump put it all in perspective.

However, I realise I am nitpicking and its a bit of an unreasonable thing of me to do.

cool.


In the same way, if this IS a social anxiety thing, what a great way to get over it whilst surrounded by friends in suits.


peace.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: bomb on March 06, 2011, 09:09:28 pm
If you read my post as a whole then youll understand exactly what I was saying in that little extract.

Ill lay it out for you though...
OP is socially challenged. He has no legitimate reason not to go to the formal, hence the thread. Hes not being truthful to himself anyway, money is an issue blah blah, when the reason is psychological. Hes ignoring the real reasons. Validation will just reinforce his thinking and we'll see the same shit in the future. (Honestly, this thread is a lie. OP has said his stuff in a way that he hopes we will swallow easily. He hopes we reply the way he has planned in his head - ie. 'just say this, just say that..' then he'll use that acceptance [of his refusal to go] as reason to do the same in the future.. know what I mean? He needs those typical responses so he can quieten that one part of his psyche that knows its restricting him. Eventually that part of your mind shuts off, goes silent, you ignore logic and you cannot see that what youre doing is doing damage)

Im not saying he has to go to the formal now but hopefully it can plant the seed in his head at least (if this is the problem) and maybe he'll work on getting better in these situations sometime in the future. Baby steps.
Its just antisocial behaviour if not a phase, is a vicious cycle. If not tackled head on he could spiral out of control in the future and end up far from where he would really like to be.  

My first formal/AP was a great experience and one of the best nights of my life tbh.

Lol you sound like one of them people who do VCE Psych and think not only that they are now qualified to label people as "socially challenged" but also read people's true thoughts through their forum posts.

If, Dr. Phil, you truly believe that it is a "psychological" issue, then you wouldn't mind offering to pay? Seeing as he wouldn't accept your money because he doesn't want to go for other reasons?

Anyway he asked for an excuse, not an evaluation of his life - you're giving him irrelevant pointers (considered a career at Microsoft?).

Back on topic.

O.P, if you don't want to go just say you have family commitments, feel sick, etc. Or you could use the end all, be all of excuses - it's against my religion *Waits for VN Religious Debate XXV*
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Visionz on March 06, 2011, 09:12:47 pm
Lovephysics your only issue seems to be that half the posts in here dont address the OPs question DIRECTLY. We're not actually his servants. Last time i checked he didnt pay me to do his thinking for him. Thats why ill lay down my thoughts in my own way and he can take from that what he wants. I dont care if he prints it out and and hails it the 3rd testament or if he puts it on 1ply A4 and uses it to wipe his a$$.
OP can use what I said to come to a conclusion on what he should do to address his situation and thats how my posts are relevant.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Dr.Lecter on March 06, 2011, 09:13:09 pm
Not participating in this debate but Visionz is 'psychologically' correct but this isn't the place to post damaging information that could lower the self esteem of the OP as stated by LOVEPHYSICS.

On a side note, I hate Physics.

You actually are.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Water on March 06, 2011, 09:14:34 pm
If there was a topic that labelled

"A Hot Girl asked me out on a date, please give me excuses on how to avoid her, because "I don't have money and going out dates doesn't appeal to me"


I"m sure, you would have comments that would go away from the topic. Lol



Many people would say

a) Go Out With Her, ITS AN EXPERIENCE
b) YOU CHAMPION!
c) BEAST
d) LET ME TAKE HER



So are you guys who say, give him an excuse, suggest that in this hypothetical situation, we give the guy an advice on how to avoid her.


If it is the latter, then no point in arguing anymore.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: iNerd on March 06, 2011, 09:15:22 pm
Not participating in this debate but Visionz is 'psychologically' correct but this isn't the place to post damaging information that could lower the self esteem of the OP as stated by LOVEPHYSICS.

On a side note, I hate Physics.

You actually are.
Alright then nitpicker, I'll remove the post. I'm not interested in this argument.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Dr.Lecter on March 06, 2011, 09:17:42 pm
Not participating in this debate but Visionz is 'psychologically' correct but this isn't the place to post damaging information that could lower the self esteem of the OP as stated by LOVEPHYSICS.

On a side note, I hate Physics.

You actually are.
Alright then nitpicker, I'll remove the post. I'm not interested in this argument.
shut up you conniving cunt
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: iNerd on March 06, 2011, 09:20:41 pm
Someone has anger management issues...
I would tend to agree.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: LOVEPHYSICS on March 06, 2011, 09:20:52 pm
Thank god for bomb. Someone who understand the main point of my argument, that we are not debating OP's personal issues or evaluating the usefulness of the prompt, we are here to answer OP's question, and that's if we want to. Visionz cannot be 'psychologically correct,' especially not when he is inferring from illogical assumptions.  Also, My mom knows a person who panic and had an heart-attack mid flight because he was convinced that bungee jumping would help him overcome his fears of height. He died, and I wouldn't called that an invigorating experience.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Visionz on March 06, 2011, 09:23:11 pm
If you read my post as a whole then youll understand exactly what I was saying in that little extract.

Ill lay it out for you though...
OP is socially challenged. He has no legitimate reason not to go to the formal, hence the thread. Hes not being truthful to himself anyway, money is an issue blah blah, when the reason is psychological. Hes ignoring the real reasons. Validation will just reinforce his thinking and we'll see the same shit in the future. (Honestly, this thread is a lie. OP has said his stuff in a way that he hopes we will swallow easily. He hopes we reply the way he has planned in his head - ie. 'just say this, just say that..' then he'll use that acceptance [of his refusal to go] as reason to do the same in the future.. know what I mean? He needs those typical responses so he can quieten that one part of his psyche that knows its restricting him. Eventually that part of your mind shuts off, goes silent, you ignore logic and you cannot see that what youre doing is doing damage)

Im not saying he has to go to the formal now but hopefully it can plant the seed in his head at least (if this is the problem) and maybe he'll work on getting better in these situations sometime in the future. Baby steps.
Its just antisocial behaviour if not a phase, is a vicious cycle. If not tackled head on he could spiral out of control in the future and end up far from where he would really like to be.  

My first formal/AP was a great experience and one of the best nights of my life tbh.

Lol you sound like one of them people who do VCE Psych and think not only that they are now qualified to label people as "socially challenged" but also read people's true thoughts through their forum posts.

If, Dr. Phil, you truly believe that it is a "psychological" issue, then you wouldn't mind offering to pay? Seeing as he wouldn't accept your money because he doesn't want to go for other reasons?

Anyway he asked for an excuse, not an evaluation of his life - you're giving him irrelevant pointers (considered a career at Microsoft?).

Back on topic.

O.P, if you don't want to go just say you have family commitments, feel sick, etc. Or you could use the end all, be all of excuses - it's against my religion *Waits for VN Religious Debate XXV*

I can see where youre coming from totally. Im not saying this from a VCEpsych perspective though im saying this from personal experience. I missed out on going to my year 10 formal with the girl I spent the next year and a half trying to get because I suffered from an anxiety disorder with huge social ramifications.
It might be off topic in your eyes but whatever. Hopefully like I said it can at least get OP thinking about changing IF THIS IS HIS PROBLEM. It looks eerily similar and its honestly worse than cancer. Hopefully its completely irrelevant and he doenst have it but if he does hopefully its enough to stop him from hitting rock bottom the same way I did.
I never said he had to attend. I always said IF this is his problem (nowhere am i holding a gun to his head and telling him to admit it) then hopefully it plants that seed in his mind that will make him think about the real reasons for skipping social situations and maybe get help.
To be perfectly honest I dont give a flying fuck if theres a 1 in a million chance that hes got something wrong with him cause if what I said makes any difference at all its worth the bitch fight with you and your friend lovephysics.

And hey if its not that then tell em that youre having an abortion and its a very private thing...

Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Romperait on March 06, 2011, 09:24:27 pm
What was the topic again?
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: burbs on March 06, 2011, 09:27:25 pm
What was the topic again?

I have said this many times, but you are one of the best posters on this site.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Visionz on March 06, 2011, 09:27:39 pm
What was the topic again?

How to train your dragon orsumshit
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: bomb on March 06, 2011, 09:32:04 pm
its honestly worse than cancer.
Anyone want to take advice from this guy?

Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: LOVEPHYSICS on March 06, 2011, 09:33:00 pm
"Lovephysics your only issue seems to be that half the posts in here dont address the OPs question DIRECTLY. We're not actually his servants. Last time i checked he didnt pay me to do his thinking for him. Thats why ill lay down my thoughts in my own way and he can take from that what he wants. I dont care if he prints it out and and hails it the 3rd testament or if he puts it on 1ply A4 and uses it to wipe his a$$.
OP can use what I said to come to a conclusion on what he should do to address his situation and thats how my posts are relevant."

My problem is not only because the posts do not address his question, but because people seem to have the discretion to judge and impose their views on someone they do not really know. And the views imposed are all personal attacks on that individual. You are not his servant, true, but he never forced you to answer his question, if you see his question as pathetic and sore, then just ignore it or give some positive criticism if you have to, and not blatant assumptions and attacks on his virility. No, your posts are not relevant because its simply assumption->attack statements. And he did not ask on how he 'should an address his situation,' that's too broad, he specifically ask for 'good excuses,' nothing more and nothing less. Don't twist posts.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: nacho on March 06, 2011, 09:34:26 pm

You can apply quotes to your post by clicking on "Quote" on the top right corner of a post.
Alternatively, you can manually type:
[quote ] <message> [ / quote]
minus any space within the square brackets that i have included
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Dr.Lecter on March 06, 2011, 09:37:57 pm
You lewd, crude, rude bag of pre-chewed food dude
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: david10d on March 06, 2011, 09:38:09 pm
Hey LOVEPHYSICS, you seem a bit mad =/

No need to get worked up over a topic on VCENotes.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: Visionz on March 06, 2011, 09:44:26 pm
bomb - wouldnt expect you to understand. Try being housebound with no idea if youll ever get better and not being able to tell anyone whats wrong. Not like cancer where youve got the support for everyone who you speak to.

lovephysics - its hardly a personal attack. Why would I attack someone in the same situation I was. It was a bit of cold hard reality but yeah fair enough my first post I hadnt created a context where it could be seen that way.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: taiga on March 06, 2011, 09:46:07 pm
lets all chill like this hamster cuz this thread probably aint going nowhere
(http://dwarf-hamster.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/pink_hamster-300x300.jpg)
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: bomb on March 06, 2011, 09:52:02 pm
bomb - wouldnt expect you to understand. Try being housebound with no idea if youll ever get better and not being able to tell anyone whats wrong. Not like cancer where youve got the support for everyone who you speak to.

I'm hoping that you're trolling hard because I refuse to believe that someone would honestly make that comparison. Sure, having a psychological problem would be terrible, as would cancer, but saying that it's "honestly" WORSE than cancer is idiotic.

Unless, of course you had cancer after this psychological problem and thought "hey, I think I like this one better", in that case I apologise. Or maybe you've met a cancer patient undergoing Chemotherapy who has said "atleast I'm not housebound".

Stupid comment to make man.
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: nacho on March 06, 2011, 09:54:12 pm
can we close this thread so that the 20 or so people viewing this thread can go out and answer desperate year 12's questions..lol
Title: Re: Good excuses for not going to school formal?
Post by: shinny on March 06, 2011, 09:56:54 pm
Locked.