ATAR Notes: Forum

VCE Stuff => VCE English Studies => VCE Subjects + Help => VCE English & EAL => Topic started by: Faraz on July 16, 2008, 09:41:26 pm

Title: Review my Look Both Ways essay please!!
Post by: Faraz on July 16, 2008, 09:41:26 pm
Look Both Ways show Characters in crisis who are dealing with real and imagined fears. Discuss


Look Both Ways is an Australian film written by Sarah Watt, which is said to show
its characters in crisis who are dealing with real and imagined fear throughout the film.
This is very true and by using three key characters Nick, Meryl and the train accident
at Arnow Hills’s we can understand how these elements are presented throughout the film.

Beginning with Nick a Photojournalist who at the start of the film finds out that he has
testicle cancer and spends the rest of the film trying to come to terms with his life threatening
problem while still living his life, the way he normally did. Nick fears death. A very common fear
that many of us share, he fears to what will happen to him if the cancer is successful. In the film
this fear for his life is shown throughout montages and also the way he communicates with people
and how he starts to see death and its meaning. For example how he reacts when he finds out
Meryl’s father passed away, or the way he argues with his mother about his father who had also
passed away. Nick’s story is a great example of a person going through a crisis in his case cancer
which many people deal with in today’s world and having a real fear of death and not living a long lived life.

Our second great example is Meryl who is an artist who is struggling in her career. In the beginning
of the film Meryl is shown in deep thought and we later on find out that she has recently lost her
father and is returning from her parent’s home. Throughout the film Meryl imagines herself in a disaster
at every turn. These disasters are shown in animations few examples are the car accident, shark attack
and getting shot by a stranger.  Meryl even thought has no life threatening illness unlike Nick, spends
just as much of her thoughts thinking of the worst case scenario death. This fear of death is very
important in the mutual bond that Nick and Meryl share throughout the film.

Another great example is the train accident at Arnow Hill’s, which is a very good example of the day
to day tragedies we face and which brings fear to our thoughts. This accident is shown on the news
through the film. This tragedy had taken more than a dozen lives and nearly every character of is shown
at one stage is watching or listening to the news being read and the story of the train accident in
Arnow Hill’s being told. In the end of the film set on Sunday the positive side of this tragedy is shown,
when a young girl is found alive found in the rubble of the accident.

It’s correct to state that Look Both Ways characters during the film do go through a crisis and deal with
real and imaginary fears. Nick who has a real fear for death and Meryl who has an imaginary fear of death,
also the train accident which affects all characters in one way or another it might have not personally affected
them but like all of us during our lives these tragedies do face us, and it sparks fear in us one way or another.
Title: Re: Review my Look Both Ways essay please!!
Post by: Ken on July 16, 2008, 09:46:58 pm
in the first sentence u said 'written' by sarah watt, u should use 'directed instead.
don't use 'movie' instead use 'text' or 'film'
Title: Re: Review my Look Both Ways essay please!!
Post by: sisqo1111 on July 16, 2008, 10:15:33 pm
try not to use the exact words the question asks. i.e. in your conclusion and intro, use synonyms
Title: Re: Review my Look Both Ways essay please!!
Post by: Faraz on July 17, 2008, 05:09:41 pm
alright keep em coming...
and like what else can I improve to make it a A+ standard of work?
Title: Re: Review my Look Both Ways essay please!!
Post by: ganges on July 17, 2008, 07:36:51 pm
DOnt you wanna signpost all your arguments in the intro, i feel you are jumping right into the essay, i dunno thats what my teacher would say........
Title: Re: Review my Look Both Ways essay please!!
Post by: phagist_ on July 18, 2008, 04:04:57 pm
In the intro.. state your topic sentences and what relevance and what relevance they have to the question.

then in the conclusion just re-word your intro, re-stating your topic sentences and then wrap it all together and state how the things you discussed answered the question.

That's what I did anyway.
Title: Re: Review my Look Both Ways essay please!!
Post by: xox.happy1.xox on July 18, 2008, 04:52:15 pm
You seem to leave out lots of little words which makes a sentence cohesive. For example, ... 'an Australian film written by Sarah Watt, which said to show' should be written as 'an Australian film written by Sarah Watt, which is said to show'. I don't know, it just makes sentences flow with more consistency and easier legibility.
Title: Re: Review my Look Both Ways essay please!!
Post by: bridgethuss on September 25, 2008, 04:45:30 pm
oh i had to do this topic as a practise sac.  i think for this one i tried to do a "yes yes but" as my teacher calls them
yes it shows characters in crisis
yes it demonstrates the various fears that are in fact real and/or imagined
but, more importantly, it shows that we can overcome these fears, one of the key messages that director sarah watt conveys

i think thats what i did for it. it wasnt very good, but it allowed me to explore the topic further i felt.
Title: Re: Review my Look Both Ways essay please!!
Post by: amyminchin on September 25, 2008, 06:45:43 pm
It was an alright essay, you may want to add some more sophisticated vocab and try not to use the first person "our" etc. Also, Sarah Watt directed LBW and while she also wrote it, as the director has more creative control- refer to Watt as the director.
Title: Re: Review my Look Both Ways essay please!!
Post by: xox.happy1.xox on September 25, 2008, 09:30:31 pm
Hehe... This topic has been miraculously revived. :P
Title: Re: Review my Look Both Ways essay please!!
Post by: Electioneering on September 27, 2008, 04:01:28 pm
I think some of the language is rather informal, e.g. "another great example is...". I can just imagine this coming out of the mouths of those women who stand in front of jewellery stores promoting its wares through a microphone.

Also, I don't like to use any adjective more than once. Avoid inclusive language.
Title: Re: Review my Look Both Ways essay please!!
Post by: brendan on September 27, 2008, 06:00:57 pm
There is a lot of "filler" i.e. strings of words and phrases that are just there to pad the essay out, that don't add very much to the substance of the essay.
Title: Re: Review my Look Both Ways essay please!!
Post by: xox.happy1.xox on September 27, 2008, 09:39:35 pm
I think some of the language is rather informal, e.g. "another great example is...". I can just imagine this coming out of the mouths of those women who stand in front of jewellery stores promoting its wares through a microphone.

Lol, this was my laugh for the day!