ATAR Notes: Forum
General Discussion => General Discussion Boards => Lifestyle and Entertainment => Topic started by: Kopite on December 20, 2007, 10:36:44 pm
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In light of this locked thread, I reckon we should have a Jokes Thread :)
http://freestudynotes.com/VCEforum/index.php/topic,1240.0.html
Defiler can have the honour of starting us off. Make it a good one :P
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You're a joke.
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You're a joke.
Not very funny, I'm disappointed.
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Theres already a similar thread
http://freestudynotes.com/VCEforum/index.php/topic,1011.0.html
Close thread. Another waste
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Your mum said it was funny.
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You're a joke.
Why did you have to start with the big guns?
I've got one.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from Kopite's thread.
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Sheikh that is possibly the most genius joke I have ever read only instead of thread it should say head, because his head is a really terrible one.
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You're a joke.
Why did you have to start with the big guns?
I've got one.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from Kopite's thread.
i srsly hope u don't get into engineering nxt yr. i've done nothing to you, and your just bagging me out and made this personal.
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Is jokes :)
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Is jokes :)
yeah but they're personal attacks.
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srsly dude, just srsly
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srsly dude, just srsly
wanna elaborate??
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so it's still resentment over the 'Do you believe in God' thread??? i'm not suprised tbh
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Kopite, the 'srsly' was a reference to you saying 'srsly' a moment ago. Liven up kid, don't take what I say seriously otherwise you'll probably die.
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(http://www.lolcats.com/images/u/07/24/lolcatsdotcomiel0o61wk5n8oybw.jpg)
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Kopite, the 'srsly' was a reference to you saying 'srsly' a moment ago. Liven up kid, don't take what I say seriously otherwise you'll probably die.
kk, just dunno wat i did to get all this lol
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At least you didn't get cancer. If you did that'd really suck.
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At least you didn't get cancer. If you did that'd really suck.
true :)
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Q. Why didn't sin and tan go to the party?
A. Just cos.
Q. Why did 'The One' enter The Matrix?
A. Someone was doing linear algebra homework.
I know, they're almost too awesome.
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Heisenberg may have been here.
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re: Toothpick's Santa Claus:
Is there a Santa Claus? - a physicist view
Consider the following:
1) No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.
2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical).
This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.
Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.
This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.
4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight.
On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that 'flying reindeer' (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine.
We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.
5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each.
In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second.
Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.> In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
EDIT: this will be possible if time travel is true =P
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Bahaha I least expected that type of reply Mao.
Gees, what can't you do with physics?
EDIT- (No one needs to answer this just to get their post count up) :)
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A man and his girlfriend are in bed
Girlfriend: You're a pervert
Man: That's a difficult word for a nine-year-old ;D
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A man and his girlfriend are in bed
Girlfriend: You're a pervert
Man: That's a difficult word for a nine-year-old ;D
Lol good one =P
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A man and his girlfriend are in bed
Girlfriend: You're a pervert
Man: That's a difficult word for a nine-year-old ;D
Lol good one =P
Jimmy Carr's
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I love joke threads...I have this great book of 'politically incorrect' jokes.
A couple are in bed and the guy says, "How about it?"
"Not tonight," she says, "I'm going to the gynaecologist tomorrow and I want to be fresh."
"You're not going to the dentist, are you?"