This Boy's Life Text Response Introduction!

[Apink!]

Hi guys,

I would really appreciate it if you could have a look and see if I'm on the right path:

Prompt: This Boy's Life demonstrates the struggles to find an identity in a harsh environment

Tobias Wolff's This Boy's Life encapsulates the struggles to achieve self-actualization within a conformative as well as a violent world, where individualism is suppressed and where one's existence is devalued. Within this social sphere, Wolff suggests that manifestation of one's identity cannot reach absolute majesty; or that such image can be an unhealthy or untrue representation of self. However, although Wolff demonstrates the struggle to develop a holistic identity, Wolff also recognizes that the confrontation with a difficult environment may also  force us to recognize the darker facets of our identity.

I think this sounds a bit like Context. What am I doing wrong?

[Callum@1373]

Hi guys,

I would really appreciate it if you could have a look and see if I'm on the right path:

Prompt: This Boy's Life demonstrates the struggles to find an identity in a harsh environment

Tobias Wolff's This Boy's Life encapsulates the struggles to achieve self-actualization within a conformative as well as a violent world, where individualism is suppressed and where one's existence is devalued. Within this social sphere, Wolff suggests that manifestation of one's identity cannot reach absolute majesty; or that such image can be an unhealthy or untrue representation of self. However, although Wolff demonstrates the struggle to develop a holistic identity, Wolff also recognizes that the confrontation with a difficult environment may also  force us to recognize the darker facets of our identity.

I think this sounds a bit like Context. What am I doing wrong?

It all sounds very sophisticated, and I can clearly see a lot of thought was put into it! I definitely think I can see where you're coming from when you say it sounds like context. In this section:

'where individualism is suppressed and where one's existence is devalued'

This is clearly context-y because it is talking about society as a whole. But in This Boy's Life, I don't think it's always the case that one's existence is devalued, which defeats your argument. By being more specific to This Boy's Life (without the holistic interpretations of society) it would definitely sound a lot more like a text response.

What I mean is, It's hard to say 'one's existence is devalued' because look at Mr Howard. He is quite fond of Jack as he offers a tonne of Hill uniforms and clothes to him, clearly valuing Jack and the contribution he can make to Hill.

If you post up that full essay I'd be happy to look at it (like you did with mine!) 

[Apink!]

Hi Callum,

I haven't written a full essay for this yet, but I will try to write a full essay anyway soon (even though it may not be on this prompt)
I just did the intro as a little practice! (because writing a full essay is too tiring and time consuming!)

That's so nice of you to help me in return! I'm so happy. Thank you so much. I totally agree with you that I should be making it more specific. I'll try that next time.
Thank you so much!
If you write up another essay, I will also have a look at it. You can post it here again! The SAC is very soon, so I think we would both benefit from this