A blogger I used to read proposed this manifesto:
Flogging Offences
* Use of the Grocer's Apostrophe;
* Starting paragraphs in a newspaper article with the word "And". Especially if you are a politician;
* Blaming the weapon, rather than the person wielding it;
* Driving in the middle lane of a busy motorway without good cause;
* Advocating Socialism as a means for organising the relationships between communities larger than a small farm;
* Confusing correlation with causation;
Flogging Offences. Such flogging to be administered on the steps of the perpetrator's club
This is separate category of crime, where it is important that a visible example is set.
* Advocating Socialism for communities larger than a small farm, when one is in a position of power;
* Advocating Creationism when one ought to know better;
* Inviting, on live television, an evidently distressed relative to advocate a ban on whatever it was that killed the recently deceased person in question;
* Confusing "equality of outcome" with "equality of opportunity".
Hanging Offences.
Let's not beat about the bush: We have to make a stand and stop this dangerous nonsense.
* Preferring "equality of outcome" over "equality of opportunity";
* Advocating Creationism when one is in charge of educational policy or children or both;
* Moral Equivalence;
* Unwarranted use of the split infinitive.