opening lines/structure/cohesion etc etc

[saheh]

Hey guys how are you doing

I've been told by my teacher that i need more cohesion between my ideas to make it flow more smoothly, and I agree, I just need to understand how to do it..

following the whole TEEL idea,
I have written down from class on Friday (and I've confused myself) that
"Opening line (T) links to key idea (of prompt)
and that the Linking sentence (L) links to main idea in paragraph (EE etc)"

does that make sense?
therefore,
the topic sentence links idea in paragraph to the idea of the prompt (If that makes sense)
and that the linking sentence sums up idea/links to other ideas?
This is where i get confused

How could I best get that cohesion between my ideas???

thanks everyone

[dilks]

It might be easier if you gave us an example, and have us tell you whether or not it has coherence (cohesion? feh) and why, than you simply describing it in abstract terms.

[saheh]

It might be easier if you gave us an example, and have us tell you whether or not it has coherence (cohesion? feh) and why, than you simply describing it in abstract terms.

It's cohesion that leads to coherence

I'll have to find something..

[teacher28]

The assessors' comments for 2010 mentioned responses becoming too formulaic... nevertheless the TEEL template is a useful one for students who are not 'natural' writers.

The topic sentences for your body paragraphs delineate your supporting arguments for your stance on the topic statement or question, and create a link with the final sentence of the preceding paragraph. (Note: context responses are to a prompt. Reading & Responding essays discuss a topic! Pedantic maybe... but the calling of 'topics' 'prompts', irks me!)

The final sentence of each body paragraph rephrases the topic sentence.

[saheh]

Thankyou!

It's the summing up part that I often get stuck with, and that's where I lose clarity when I jump from idea to idea...

[teacher28]

Are you referring to your conclusions?

[saheh]

That too, and just the end of my paragraphs, I tend to just end my points...