I don't know why I feel like this.
On Tuesday I came to band rehearsal with a pit in my stomach . We're playing in the school musical in about two weeks so there's been a fair amount of pressure to nail everything and be ready for the show. I must have had a blank look on my face because the band director asked me if I was okay, and I said (in blatant denial) 'yeah I'm fine", played about ten notes and then... I don't know...just lost my grip. I had to walk out. One of the teachers talked it through with me and then told me I should have a glass of water and go for a walk.
That moment behind the tennis courts when I spilled out my guts; that was when I knew I was losing control.
I swear I'm going mad. Shouldn't I be able to, you know, cope with life in general?
I've lost all the motivation to do work, and this scares me. I mean, I'm sitting here in front of a freaking computer screen.
I've been pretty busy. Tim Costello came earlier this week, and I was my school's student rep. In June I went on a trip to central Australia; I'm part of an interfaith dialogue, I'm in the choir, the musical is approaching; not to mention band's festival, etcetera, etcetera. Get the picture? . And yet I feel like I'm not even enjoying these things anymore.
Freaking hell, I don't even know what to do except brace myself for these next few weeks.