ARGHH

[charmanderp]

With re: to choking in the exam, that's just part of life. You HAVE to be able to deal with pressure, and if you can't it's not your study habits or work ethic or intelligence level that's to blame. It's just an inexorable experience that you have to be learn to navigate.

For Lit last year I was ranked #1 and almost guaranteed in my mind to get a score of 47-50. Went into the exam completely relaxed, having done a good number of practice essays (25-30), knew my texts like the back of my mind, etc. Saw the passages for one of the texts, though to myself 'I can't do this', and choked. After I'd written (to the 1 hour mark), in a psychotic fashion, a mindless, baseless piece of over 1300 words which had no structure whatsoever, I realised that the passages had actually been brilliant conducive and exactly what I'd based my major contention of the text on. At this stage it was obviously too late and I'd bombed my exam and ended up with a 39.

I just mourned it (literally) and moved on. Haven't had this kind of experience since. That's what you need to do. Just channel yourself into an exam mode. Pressure can only do to you what you let it.

Like others have said, there's no shame in not getting a 50. I had my heart set on one for chem, having worked harder for this subject than any other academically based thing in the past. Did all the trial exams/VCAA exams, had several scores which could get me a 50 but just didn't manage to repeat this in the actual exam. Surprisingly it never really fazed me; I was more proud of the fact that I'd worked so hard for this and I knew that the interest I have for chem outweighed my drive to get a 50, which is more or less just a number.

[Surgeon]

I think it may be time for me to consider getting a tutor..

I'd just like to go into Medicine or Law and then eventually become in Politics. That's all I want.  Job that I love and enough money to sustain a comfortable lifestyle and support my family.

I think I'll have to start taking advantage of the opportunities I've got on this forum. I've got access to some of the smartest people in the state, better start asking for help here too!

Thanks so much for all of the tips guys

Charm- how can I "channel myself into an exam mode"? What exactly does that entail?

[charmanderp]

I think it may be time for me to consider getting a tutor..

I'd just like to go into Medicine or Law and then eventually become in Politics. That's all I want.  Job that I love and enough money to sustain a comfortable lifestyle and support my family.

I think I'll have to start taking advantage of the opportunities I've got on this forum. I've got access to some of the smartest people in the state, better start asking for help here too!

Thanks so much for all of the tips guys

Charm- how can I "channel myself into an exam mode"? What exactly does that entail?

Cover all of your bases, plan out exactly how you'll approach the exam, take some risks, etc.

[brenden]

I know that feel bro.
It's coincidental, at 3.30am today my Facey status was : That moment when you're so incredibly fucked, you go way past despair and can't help but laugh hysterically at how fucked you are HAHAHA. 60 COME AT ME.
I s'pose I don't have the same pressure that you've put on yourself but I see parallels between us. Last year I'd go to bed at 3am and wake up and run at 6am to make sure I was so tired that when I went to bed the next morning I wouldn't have to listen to myself think before falling asleep and I ended up fucking up my accelerated subjects as well.
If you don't have one already, you could try a blog. No one has the link to mine and it's basically a place to breakdown on (breaking down is healthy ;]) without having to cry or go to too much effort to fix yourself.
At the end of the day the ATAR is just a number, however much we may forget this. After nearly failing year eleven I had everyone sneering at me making my 90+ goal known, but they see the way I work now and no one's fucking sneering anymore. All's I wanted was people to stfu and I thought the number would do it but my efforts did and I'm proud of that. I'm disappointed in my mid-year however I know that I did really well through the semester and there wasn't really much more to ask of myself.
I say this because you're obviously very studious and whilst I wouldn't have a clue as to your habits, I know they surely must be something to take pride in. Not everyone has to courage to aim high and be absolutely vulnerable to failure but you've done it and you're on your way to gobsmacking scores is an achievement in itself. I wish I could say something of more worth 'cause I feel your pain lol. But definitely hit the gym, or go running, or box if you have a bag or such like. It's okay to relax sometimes; exams are what make or break. My partner was expecting a 60 ATAR because she just about failed on attendance, however she went absolutely beserk for exams (never seen anything like it) and got a 47 in ITApps. Take a day for yourself.

[MJRomeo81]

I'd just like to go into Medicine or Law and then eventually become in Politics. That's all I want.  Job that I love and enough money to sustain a comfortable lifestyle and support my family.

You need some direction. Please don't go thinking that med or law is your pathway to a successful life. It might be for some people but go and take a look at the saturated law market. All these kids saying "hey i  have a law degree im a fawkin lawyer" are still office bitches. All three of those professions are incredibly stressful (thus affecting your family life).

You need to decide what career is ideal for you. Only then you will have some specific goals that can be measured (dat dere bus_man SMART goals).  Considering that the only courses you seem to mention are the 'elite' ones is an alarming concern. Find your true passion. You'll soon realise that there's more than one pathway to achieve your goals.

[ninwa]

You need to take a fucking deep breath and think about the following:

1. Your ATAR has little to no impact on your future career. I can give you about 20 examples of people I know personally who got much lower ATARs than I did and are far more successful than I am today.

YOUR ATAR IS NOT YOUR LIFE

2. Medicine and law are not the magical panaceas for getting you tonnes of money. Especially not law. Hell you could have dropped out in year 10 and done an apprenticeship and end up earning more than most lawyers. This "medicine or law" attitude is not going to get you very far. Open your mind a bit.

3. This pressure you're feeling now will be nothing compared to the pressure you'll feel in the courtroom, the operating theatre or the parliamentary chamber. Think of it as practice for your future career.

4. Go look up the famous pale blue dot photo, step back and remind yourself that this is the tiniest most insignificant sliver of your life, the world, and the universe.

tl;dr chill the fuck out you are being irrational

[Neuron]

An ATAR is not the end of the year, you and a lot of Year 12s percieve that way because of the weight that teachers, family, and friends put on it. Not getting a 50 isn't a big deal, not getting an ATAR in the 90s is not a big deal, you should be thankful that you live in a country whose education system rewards hard work and effort no matter what your circumstances are. My cousin who is a refugee from Iraq came to Australia barely knowing English and was putrid at Math and Science, she was too old to complete her VCE (she was in her early 20s) and basically had only TAFE as her option. Through TAFE she worked her ass off until she got into Monash Pharmacy, she got her degree and now she's a practicing pharmacist, this is just one story out of a plethora of stories of people who didn't get into that prestigious Uni, didn't get that high ATAR, or were faced with grave circumstances who managed to overcome them through sheer hard-work and determination. If you're really determined enough as you clearly are, then you will get into Law or Medicine if you wanted to, even if you don't get in the easy way.

You need to chill as everybody here has stated, by seeing VCE as just an insignificant part of your life which doesn't determine your future and being learning for the sake of gaining knowledge instead of getting into a specific Uni or a course, your marks will certainly improve, as it's clear the pressure your putting yourself into is being deterimental to your studies.. so let go and stop worrying about it so much.

I agree with nina has said also, there are so many other careers besides Law or Med that I don't see how anyone can have this shallow view of future job opportunities. It seems that you only want to get into those careers because of prestige, pride and wealth instead of actually enjoying them (sorry if this is a bad interpretation, but on the surface it seems that way); well if this is your view, then how do you think you'll feel before a law or med exam where you'll have to understand and regurgitate many different concepts, often difficult? Without having a strong passion for those careers it'll be a very long and difficult journey to not break down.. so keep that in mind.

[Tomw2]

Surgeon, as per nina - Im concerned you are tying a large part of your identity and self-worth on a number with little meaning and a romanticised idea of a small array of professions. Be weary of the fine line between ambition and narcissism (ie. narcissists tend to believe they are worthless unless they are perfect and all-powerful. They also tend to focus obsessively on intangible end points that they call 'achievements', while forgetting completely about the importance of journeys).

That said, I acknowledge it is a bit rich of me to extol the virtues of perspective when I was pacing like a crazy person in my lounge room the night before GAMSAT :S

Take a breather. Realise that your realistic worst case scenario is actually a very advantageous position in the scheme of things.

[Biceps]

Trust me your ATAR does not affect what course you end up doing. You can get into medicine with even an 80 ATAR. There are so many pathways. Maybe not direct but in the end you can achieve what you desire.
Let go of any results you got in the past and move on.
Life continues it doesn't end after year 12.

[Surgeon]

Thanks for all of your responses, I really appreciate them all.

It's so difficult to say to myself that I will be happy with my ATAR no matter what it is because I tried my best. The value of my ATAR has been instilled so heavily into me that it seems like it's the be all and end all.

Even if I do badly, I wouldn't bee too phased. I would be very, very upset for a long time but then I would go to whatever course I got into and then work as hard as humanly possible to get into whatever I wanted initially.

My parents are not that understanding, unfortunately.

Just today, my mum told me not to come home again unless I get four 50s this year. Obviously, I'm not going to be disowned or evicted of my house, but it's the thought that counts.

That's the sort of pressure I've been under for as long as I can remember.

I remember as a small child, maybe 7-8 years old, I wanted to be a scientist. I actually had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to do, considering I was so young. I wanted to research cures to diseases to help people and eradicate diseases off the face of the planet.

That's the first time my parents told me that I have to study medicine.

I actually just remembered this happening for the first since it happened while I was reading through this thread.

I always thought that I consciously made the decision that I would like to study medicine, by myself. Now, I'm questioning this...

Was it my parents' instillation of the idea that I have to study medicine that caused me to want to, or was it a decision I reached on my own accord?

In regards to wanting to study medicine or law, it's not a decision I made absent mindedly.

I can't think of any other professions that I would enjoy.

I'm not strong enough in mathematics to become an engineer, or investment banker, or pretty much anything decent in the commerce sector. Nor do these professions particularly appeal to me, anymore.

I think Law would be awesome because english is one of my strengths, I'm an avid public speaker and debater, I find it interesting to read about past cases and what happened historically, and it just seems like an awesome, long career with plenty of opportunity to move up the ranks.

On the other hand, I think medicine would be awesome because I love reading and learning about the human body, it's interesting functions, it's susceptibility to diseases, how it combats disease, things along those lines. Also, having personally experienced just how big of an impact doctors can make on peoples lives, I would love to be able to help people and have them experience the same positive impacts I did.

Job security isn't too bad with either of the above, and they should allow me and my family to live a comfortable life. I don't want to become a billionaire.

[Gloamglozer]

I feel worthless.

Never, and I mean never, ever feel worthless.

Remember, you were once the quickest sperm.

[pi]

My parents are not that understanding, unfortunately.

Just today, my mum told me not to come home again unless I get four 50s this year. Obviously, I'm not going to be disowned or evicted of my house, but it's the thought that counts.

Seriously, who cares what your parents say when they are being unreasonable. They're not going to sit your exams and they aren't going to work for you in the future. Make your own future and ignore that crap if it isn't supportive.

I was lucky enough to never inform my parents about the system of VCE (I didn't even tell them when my exams were haha) so I never got told what to aim for. This probs wasn't the best, as in hindsight I think a bit more guidance from my parents would have helped my ATAR a fair bit to reduce procrastination etc. but in another way, it was good because I had no-one to blame except myself.

And I think that's what you should do, if your parents aren't going to help, just multiply what they say in relation to your studies by zero and do your own thing and make your own goals and follow your own dreams.

[RTandon]

I feel worthless.

Never, and I mean never, ever feel worthless.

Remember, you were once the quickest sperm.

this.

[Kanon]

I feel like you're really living in a "VCE Box", you've consumed yourself with VCE and getting into Uni.  It's great that you're so driven to do so, however it's not healthy. Take a breather for now, pick up a hobby, do something interesting, read on something you've always wanted to learn about.  Because in the end, it's not the end of the world if you don't get into medicine.  For lack of a better expression, YOLO mate, YOLO.

As for these preconceptions of worth being related to ATAR, try to find out where these come from and block them out a bit.
- Could it be the teachers at your school?  You mentioned you attend Hailebury College, could the teachers there be putting unrealistic expectations and dreams into your head?
- Could it be solely your parents influence? If so, do as LovePhysics said, and multiply what they said by 0.
- Was it your upbringing?  Which primary school did you attend?  Were they considered a top school?

[Jenny_2108]

I feel worthless.

This is exactly what I feel now. Share the same feeling with you!
I'm totally useless, stupid, foolish, lazy.
So sad, disappointed like being broken into fragments. I lost hope, belief in my dream. I wanna find myself of yesterday back
How can I stand up and strive for end-of-year exams?

I think I wanna cry...