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simba:
I'm sorry if this entire essay just sounds like a heap of word vomit, I was really struggling with the time constraints! Be as harsh as possible, text response is definitely sucking right now :(

EDIT: just read my intro again and I've used the word significantly three times, gah!

'A persons surroundings can influence them' discuss in relation to Twelve Angry Men'

1950s America was characterised by a rigid fear towards those who embodied traits of difference. Reginald Rose's 'Twelve Angry Men' examines the ways in which an individuals environment can impact their ability to view the case objectively. The physical setting of the jury room provides a significant source of tension, impacting the decision making skills of each juror. Furthermore, the surroundings in which each juror was raised contribute significantly to their position on the case. Not only the physical settings contribute to an individual's perception on the case; the other jurors significantly influence each other's viewpoint on the case, ultimately reiterating the importance of the surrounding environment in determining each jurors final verdict.

The jury room is utilised by Rose throughout the play as a means of influencing each jurors position on the case. The physical heat inside the jury room is symbolically utilised by Rose to demonstrate the mentality of the short tempered characters. The heat itself causes discomfort to the majority of the jurors, only aggravated as they realise the fan "doesn't work." This heat encourages the each juror to vote guilty in order to quickly leave the "large, drab room." It is not until the jurors begin to discuss the notion of the defendants innocence that the physical conditions of the jury room improve. As the vote stands 6 guilty to 6 not guilty, the jurors are finally able to turn on the fan, recognising "it must have been connected to the light switch." Subsequently, Rose hints that the fan will work to "cool things off" between the jurors. Furthermore, Rose utilises the props in the jury room to further influence the decision making skills of each juror. As 8th Juror requests to see the "curiously designed knife" used as the murder weapon, he produces his own switch blade, the two being "exactly alike." Since the prosecution had painfully drawn out the importance of the uniqueness of the murder weapon, the other jurors begin to reconsider their notion of the defendants guilt, influenced by the physical presence of the two switch knives.

Each juror in 'Twelve Angry Men' has been raised in differing environments, significantly contributing to how each juror views the case. Raised in Germany, the 11th Juror recognises the "importance of democracy," subsequently taking his position as a jury member seriously and "not making [it] a personal thing." When challenged by the 10th Juror about his demeanour, the 11th Juror defends himself by stating "it was the way I was brought up." Rose utilises the 11th Juror to imply the significance an individuals upbringing provides to their final verdict, with the 11th Juror being able to recognise the importance of an "honest and thoughtful" deliberation. In contrast, Rose condemns characters such as 10th Juror, who were raised in the capitalistic environment of America. Throughout the play, Rose asserts the 10th Jurors certainty of the defendants guilt, his reasoning being "they want to destroy us." The 10th Jurors constant repetition of phrases such as "them" when discussing the defendants type eludes to the fact that 10th Jurors upbringing influences his view on the case, being unable to rationalise the defendants case beyond a misconceived stereotype.

The views of each individual juror are pivotal in influencing the final verdict of the others. Throughout the play, 8th Juror maintains that the defendant "may be guilty," but he has "reasonable doubt in [his] mind" as a defence for his verdict of "not guilty." It is the 8th Jurors perceptive outlook on the case that causes the other jurors to consider the notion of the defendants innocence, encouraging them to view the case outside the overwhelming initial appearance of guilt. 8th Juror consistently challenges each jurors verdict on the case by asking them the simple question "do you think the boy is guilty?" Rose characterises the 8th Juror as perceptive, reflected in his repetitive stage direction of "looking out of the window." The window is utilised as a symbol of objectivity throughout the play, implying the 8th Juror views the case beyond the constraints of the jury room. Subsequently, this implication of a balanced and rational verdict by the 8th Juror influences the other jurors to agree with his vote. When juxtaposed with the irrational and insubstantial arguments of the 3rd and 10th Jurors, who are unable to identify solid non-prejudiced reasoning for their verdict, 8th Jurors logical reasoning heavily influences the other Jurors final verdict of "not guilty."

'Twelve Angry Men' serves to reiterate the multitude of ways in which and individuals surroundings can influence their perception on the case. Through creating a tense physical environment, Rose aims to demonstrate the ways in which the jurors physical environment impact their final verdict. Furthermore, Rose demonstrates the significance of each jurors upbringing in their ability to rationalise the case. By creating characters such as the 8th Juror, Rose ultimately demonstrates the significance of the surrounding physical, personal and social surroundings in influencing each jurors final verdict.

DoctorWho:

--- Quote from: Sapphire on October 25, 2013, 06:31:08 pm ---Overall, you have good ideas but sometimes it feels like your paragraphs are just a list of topic sentences. The structure you follow is 'Dickens insinuates/suggests X (you've made big claims, eg. ' Dickens suggests that morality is the saviour of mankind'), then Dickens reinforces X.' This is great but your discussion and textual knowledge seems to be lacking. I want to see you refer to the minor characters that demonstrate Dickens' ideal moral man - I'm thinking of Old Fezziwig and Fred here. Some more quoting would be nice too. The novella is laden with description, weave some of that into your own writing.

Also, don't look at the story as 'rich people need to help out the poor so they can be good people'. Scrooge himself becomes happier when he becomes a second father to Tiny Tim. There are two main elements in this prompt 'moral tale' and 'social commentary'. Be sure to define the key words explicitly in your essay. You can add some depth to it by describing the link between the two, rather than commenting on them separately.

I hope this somehow helps :)

--- End quote ---

Thank you so much! I gave this essay to my teacher and got a series of ticks and one sentence at the end which read, 'very well-written piece'. That's actually been the majority of her feedback throughout the whole year. Your comments are so helpful! I'll definitely work on what you've pointed out, I agree that I don't explore the text thoroughly enough, but it's mainly because I don't want to fall back into 'retelling' the story. I understand what you mean though and I'll definitely work on my analysis a bit more.

shooterblitz:
Just keen on some general feedback prior to tomorrow! Any advice is welcome, feel free to comment/mark :) Thanks!

Question: 'A Christmas Carol' suggests that although an obsession with money is harmful, an adequate amount of money can make people both comfortable and happy.' Do you agree?

Charles Dickens’ classical novella ‘A Christmas Carol’ is set in the midst of the Victorian London era, whereby the Industrial Revolution manifested itself within society and the economy. The tale surrounds main character Ebenezer Scrooge and his drive for money, and more so how he redeems himself to move away from greed. Dickens, the omniscient narrator additionally implements various secondary characters, who help develop an entertaining and enthralling novella, to serve his purpose. The narrative explores the negative repercussions that result from an obsession with money, which is understood through Scrooge’s life experiences. Although, the suggestion that an adequate amount of money can provide people with both comfort and happiness, stands incorrect. The novella evidently explains that it is not necessary to obtain monetary means to achieve well-being and pleasure. Dickens illustrates such an idea through the Cratchit family; a family that takes part in the proletariat aspect of society, Tiny Tim; a crippled young boy, and Belle; Scrooge’s past love interest. In turn, through secondary characters, Dickens claims that money in turn tends to destroy and harm individuals, rather than declare positive consequences. 

Dickens asserts that there is no need for monetary means, even adequate sums, to achieve or find pleasure and wellbeing through the Cratchit family. The omniscient narrator’s description of the Cratchit family suggests that ‘They were not a handsome family; they were not well dressed… their clothes were scanty…” Such a description validates Dickens’ argument at a latter point, although the reader is made aware about the lack of possessions and wealth carried by the Cratchit family and furthermore their position in society as part of the proletariat class. Dickens then asserts, “… they were happy, grateful, pleased with one another, and contented with the time.” Such an illustration painted by Dickens suggests that despite the lack of adequate money, or possessions, the Cratchit family obtained comfort and happiness. This tends to evidently suggest that there is no requirement for monetary means within families to grasp a sense of comfort or pleasure. The omniscient narrator’s idea is further validated through his description of the Christmas celebrations in the Cratchit household, whereby he states “The children were all dancing around, the fire was lit, and the potatoes were popping out of the kettle.” A descriptive statement, with an enlightened connotation declares that the Cratchit household lacked worry and stress upon Christmas, whereby their financial circumstances would not abide by such behaviour. Dickens’ illustration of the Cratchit family tends to further suggest that the author believes that there is no need for monetary means to obtain comfort or pleasure. It is further understood that Dickens’ motives to make such a claim derive form his personal experiences during the Industrial Revolution where he gave up education and worked to free his family from the debtors jail. Dickens’ drive to save his family to achieve comfort is represented through the attitudes of the Cratchit family in a slight sense. Overall, one way through which Dickens suggests that money, even an adequate amount is not necessary to obtain happiness is illustrated through the Cratchit family and their attitudes despite their financial circumstances. However, another way via which Dickens insinuates such an idea is through a different secondary character, Tiny Tim.

Dickens further insinuates that an adequate amount of money does not necessarily incline to provide happiness and comfort, through the secondary character of Tiny Tim. Tiny Tim is the youngest child of the Cratchit family, and is understood to have a generic medical condition, which is life defying and causes him to have a ‘wooden-leg’. Such medical conditions tended to be regular amongst the children of the proletariat class, and can be understood to be due to the appalling working conditions in the past for Tiny Tim, during the manifestation of the Industrial Revolution. The novella illustrates Tiny Tim as a positive and happy child, with a sustaining attitude to life, which tends to oppose the generalised view to life he should instead possess – which is on the opposite spectrum. Although the reader is not exposed to much dialogue from Tiny Tim, the memorable statement “God Bless us all everyone!” upon the dinner table summarises the joy and care Tiny Tim has for other, more so than for himself. The words ‘bless everyone’ suggest that he wishes to give his family blessings and grace, despite the understanding that he in turn needs it more than anyone else due to his medical circumstances. Although at a latter point in the narrative, the omniscient narrator asserts that Scrooge provided monetary means to help Tiny Tim recover, the idea that money does not provide happiness and comfort stands clear. Dickens positions the character of Tiny Tim to have generosity and comfort in life despite a serious medical condition, which requires money to fixate, but without an adequate sum, Tiny Tim is shown to still have happiness. Overall, the idea that money, in generous sum tends to provide Dickens argues one with comfort and happiness against, through his portrayal of Tiny Tim’s character. Dickens showcases Tiny Tim as a positive and generously hearted being who wishes the best for everyone, despite his financial and medical circumstances. The omniscient narrator further develops his argument through another secondary character in the narrative, Belle.

Another character, which Dickens tends to characterise to illustrate that money, even an adequate sum has no contribution to an individual’s level of comfort and happiness is Belle. Belle is a secondary character in the narrative that appears during the sequence in Stave 2, where the Ghost of Christmas Past shows Scrooge his younger years. The character of Belle is used by the omniscient narrator in a subtle sense, whereby her role tends to be significantly short, yet significantly influential. Moreover, Dickens tends to insinuate that comfort and happiness is not a product of money, as Scrooge’s drive for money and his support of Belle leads to a break up in their relationship. Belle claims “All your other hopes have merged into the hope of being beyond the chance of its sordid approach. I have seen your nobler aspirations fall off, one by one, until the master passion, Gain, engrosses you.” Dickens purposely claims through Belle’s thoughts that despite having an adequate amount of money, she fails to obtain happiness and comfort, which further illustrates that the omniscient narrator is against the idea of finding comfort and happiness through money. In the narrative, it is observed that Belle is instead worried and uncomfortable with the amount of ‘gain’ her fiancée is obtaining, which essentially puts her away from comfort and happiness. Making such an assertion allows Dickens to continue to suggest that regardless of the amount, money tends to have no causation in comfort or happiness, whereby in Belle’s scenario, she is instead forced to give up money and her relationship with Scrooge to obtain pleasure and wellbeing. Overall, Dickens, the narrator uses the minor secondary character of Belle to essentially educate the audience that regardless of the amount of money, happiness and comfort cannot be achieved. Particularly, Dickens showcases Bella breaking up her relationship with Scrooge as money provided her with relationship problems, as well as a lack of well being and comfort.

In conclusion, the novella ‘A Christmas Carol’, written by Charles Dickens tends to educate the reader that an obsessive amount of money is harmful, although even an adequate amount of money can not provide one with comfort or happiness. The omniscient narrator asserts such an idea through showcasing the attitudes, circumstances and decisions of secondary characters. In particular, Dickens presents the proletariat class family; the Cratchit’s and their attitudes in life despite their difficult financial and medical circumstances, Tiny Time and his ideas and attitude to life despite not having enough funds t save himself, and Belle; Scrooge’s love interest who decides to leave Scrooge after not finding happiness or comfort solely with money. The overall idea is sufficiently emphasised upon by Dickens, and tends to portray a significant life lesson to the reader.

Sapphire:

--- Quote from: John__Doe on October 26, 2013, 07:23:35 pm ---Thank you so much! I gave this essay to my teacher and got a series of ticks and one sentence at the end which read, 'very well-written piece'. That's actually been the majority of her feedback throughout the whole year. Your comments are so helpful! I'll definitely work on what you've pointed out, I agree that I don't explore the text thoroughly enough, but it's mainly because I don't want to fall back into 'retelling' the story. I understand what you mean though and I'll definitely work on my analysis a bit more.

--- End quote ---
You're welcome :) Oh that's annoying, I've had my fair share of those kinds of teachers. Best of luck tomorrow John!

for shootersid:

Question: 'A Christmas Carol' suggests that although an obsession with money is harmful, an adequate amount of money can make people both comfortable and happy.' Do you agree?

Charles Dickens’ classical novella ‘A Christmas Carol’ is set in the midst of the Victorian London era, whereby the Industrial Revolution manifested itself within society and the economy. It’s great to see you starting with a contextualising sentence but it doesn’t need to be that long. Refer to Victorian England or the Industrial Revolution, not both. However, you can use them interchangeably throughout your essay. The tale surrounds main character Ebenezer Scrooge and his drive for money, and more so how he redeems himself to move away from greed. Good. Dickens, the omniscient narrator additionally implements various secondary characters, who help develop an entertaining and enthralling novella, to serve his purpose. I don’t see the relation here? I know what you’re getting at BUT you really need to make yourself clearer. Especially in the introduction, EVERYTHING should link to the question clearly. The narrative explores the negative repercussions that result from an obsession with money, which is understood through Scrooge’s life experiences. Although, the suggestion that an adequate amount of money can provide people with both comfort and happiness, stands incorrect. This is pretty much copied from the question, think of another way to say it. The novella evidently explains that it is not necessary to obtain monetary means to achieve well-being and pleasure. Dickens illustrates such an idea through the Cratchit family; a family that takes part in the proletariat aspect of society, Tiny Tim; a crippled young boy, and Belle; Scrooge’s past love interest. you don’t need to be so specific in your introduction. Mentioning the Cratchit family is enough, you do not need to list characters and provide description about them, that’s what the body paragraphs are for In turn, through secondary characters, Dickens claims that money in turn tends to destroy and harm individuals, rather than declare positive consequences. 

Dickens asserts that there is no need for monetary means, even adequate sums, to achieve or find pleasure and wellbeing through the Cratchit family. refer to feedback at the bottom about this point The omniscient narrator’s description of the Cratchit family suggests that ‘They were not a handsome family; they were not well dressed… their clothes were scanty…” Such a description validates Dickens’ argument at a latter point, although the reader is made aware about the lack of possessions and wealth carried by the Cratchit family and furthermore their position in society as part of the proletariat class. Dickens then asserts, “… they were happy, grateful, pleased with one another, and contented with the time.” Such an illustration painted by Dickens suggests that despite the lack of adequate money, or possessions, the Cratchit family obtained comfort and happiness. This tends to evidently suggest that there is no requirement for monetary means within families to grasp a sense of comfort or pleasure. The omniscient narrator’s idea is further validated through his description of the Christmas celebrations in the Cratchit household, whereby he states “The children were all dancing around, the fire was lit, and the potatoes were popping out of the kettle.” A descriptive statement, with an enlightened connotation declares that the Cratchit household lacked worry and stress upon Christmas, whereby their financial circumstances would not abide by such behaviour. Dickens’ illustration of the Cratchit family tends to further suggest that the author believes that there is no need for monetary means to obtain comfort or pleasure. It is further understood that Dickens’ motives to make such a claim derive form his personal experiences during the Industrial Revolution where he gave up education and worked to free his family from the debtors jail. Dickens’ drive to save his family to achieve comfort is represented through the attitudes of the Cratchit family in a slight sense. Overall, one way through which Dickens suggests that money, even an adequate amount is not necessary to obtain happiness is illustrated through the Cratchit family and their attitudes despite their financial circumstances. However, another way via which Dickens insinuates such an idea is through a different secondary character, Tiny Tim.

Dickens further insinuates that an adequate amount of money does not necessarily incline to provide happiness and comfort, through the secondary character of Tiny Tim. Tiny Tim is the youngest child of the Cratchit family, and is understood to have a generic medical condition, which is life defying and causes him to have a ‘wooden-leg’. Such medical conditions tended to be regular amongst the children of the proletariat class, and can be understood to be due to the appalling working conditions in the past for Tiny Tim, during the manifestation of the Industrial Revolution. The novella illustrates Tiny Tim as a positive and happy child, with a sustaining attitude to life, which tends to oppose the generalised view to life he should instead possess – which is on the opposite spectrum. Although the reader is not exposed to much dialogue from Tiny Tim, the memorable statement “God Bless us all everyone!” upon the dinner table summarises the joy and care Tiny Tim has for other, more so than for himself. The words ‘bless everyone’ suggest that he wishes to give his family blessings and grace, despite the understanding that he in turn needs it more than anyone else due to his medical circumstances. Although at a latter point in the narrative, the omniscient narrator asserts that Scrooge provided monetary means to help Tiny Tim recover, the idea that money does not provide happiness and comfort stands clear. Dickens positions the character of Tiny Tim to have generosity and comfort in life despite a serious medical condition, which requires money to fixate, but without an adequate sum, Tiny Tim is shown to still have happiness. Overall, the idea that money, in generous sum tends to provide Dickens argues one with comfort and happiness against, through his portrayal of Tiny Tim’s character. Dickens showcases Tiny Tim as a positive and generously hearted being who wishes the best for everyone, despite his financial and medical circumstances. The omniscient narrator further develops his argument through another secondary character in the narrative, Belle.

Another character, which Dickens tends to characterise to illustrate that money, even an adequate sum has no contribution to an individual’s level of comfort and happiness is Belle. Belle is a secondary character in the narrative that appears during the sequence in Stave 2, where the Ghost of Christmas Past shows Scrooge his younger years. The character of Belle is used by the omniscient narrator in a subtle sense, whereby her role tends to be significantly short, yet significantly influential. Moreover, Dickens tends to insinuate that comfort and happiness is not a product of money, as Scrooge’s drive for money and his support of Belle leads to a break up in their relationship. Belle claims “All your other hopes have merged into the hope of being beyond the chance of its sordid approach. I have seen your nobler aspirations fall off, one by one, until the master passion, Gain, engrosses you.” Dickens purposely claims through Belle’s thoughts that despite having an adequate amount of money, she fails to obtain happiness and comfort, which further illustrates that the omniscient narrator is against the idea of finding comfort and happiness through money. In the narrative, it is observed that Belle is instead worried and uncomfortable with the amount of ‘gain’ her fiancée is obtaining, which essentially puts her away from comfort and happiness. Making such an assertion allows Dickens to continue to suggest that regardless of the amount, money tends to have no causation in comfort or happiness, whereby in Belle’s scenario, she is instead forced to give up money and her relationship with Scrooge to obtain pleasure and wellbeing. Overall, Dickens, the narrator uses the minor secondary character of Belle to essentially educate the audience that regardless of the amount of money, happiness and comfort cannot be achieved. Particularly, Dickens showcases Bella breaking up her relationship with Scrooge as money provided her with relationship problems, as well as a lack of well being and comfort.

In conclusion, the novella ‘A Christmas Carol’, written by Charles Dickens tends intends to educate the reader that an obsessive amount of money is harmful, although even an adequate amount of money can not provide one with comfort or happiness. The omniscient narrator asserts such an idea through showcasing the attitudes, circumstances and decisions of secondary characters. In particular, Dickens presents the proletariat class family; the Cratchit’s and their attitudes in life despite their difficult financial and medical circumstances, Tiny Time and his ideas and attitude to life despite not having enough funds t save himself, and Belle; Scrooge’s love interest who decides to leave Scrooge after not finding happiness or comfort solely with money. The overall idea is sufficiently emphasised upon by Dickens, and tends to portray a significant life lesson to the reader.  Same as with the introduction, you do not need to list your examples all over again and provide so much detail in a conclusion.

Okay, I’ve had a quick read through your essay but I haven’t gone through your body paragraphs and essay structure in detail because I have so much to do today since I always leave everything to the last minute…
Anyway, here’s some general feedback
I think you’re missing a point, the questions says ‘BOTH’ comfortable AND happy. The Cratchits are NOT comfortable, you're using this word incorrectly.
Comfortable:
1.   (especially of clothes or furnishings) providing physical ease and relaxation.
"comfortable sturdy shoes"

2.   as large as is needed or wanted.

Do you think this applies to the Cratchits?

They are described to wear ‘scanty’ clothes, 'their shoes far from being water-proof'. They are struggling to make ends meet. They have a crippled little boy, they don’t see one of their daughters half the time because she’s off at work, they are a large family living on Bob’s meagre salary.
So, while they are happy and content with the little that they have, an adequate amount of money would certainly ease their suffering and make their lives easier. In fact, when Scrooge redeems himself, he raises Cratchit’s salary and takes it upon himself to look after Tiny Tim and ensure the boy does not die because of an implied lack of healthcare or nutrition.

Also, you argue:
‘Dickens claims that money in turn tends to destroy and harm individuals, rather than declare positive consequences.‘

Dickens does not claim that money destroys and harms individuals. There is nothing in the novella that suggests that. If there is, you haven’t demonstrated that to me. Rather, Scrooge’s consuming obsession (key word) with money and the pursuit of wealth is his downfall. What Dickens does insinuate however, is that the wealthy should look after the poor and employers have a duty towards their employees (through paralleling Fezziwig and Scrooge and Bob and Scrooge).


I would suggest keeping your introduction and conclusion succinct and really thinking about the key words in the question and all their implications before you write tomorrow because you do seem to know your text well. Good luck! :)

shooterblitz:

--- Quote from: Sapphire on October 29, 2013, 03:26:02 pm ---
Okay, I’ve had a quick read through your essay but I haven’t gone through your body paragraphs and essay structure in detail because I have so much to do today since I always leave everything to the last minute…
Anyway, here’s some general feedback
I think you’re missing a point, the questions says ‘BOTH’ comfortable AND happy. The Cratchits are NOT comfortable, you're using this word incorrectly.
Comfortable:
1.   (especially of clothes or furnishings) providing physical ease and relaxation.
"comfortable sturdy shoes"

2.   as large as is needed or wanted.

Do you think this applies to the Cratchits?

They are described to wear ‘scanty’ clothes, 'their shoes far from being water-proof'. They are struggling to make ends meet. They have a crippled little boy, they don’t see one of their daughters half the time because she’s off at work, they are a large family living on Bob’s meagre salary.
So, while they are happy and content with the little that they have, an adequate amount of money would certainly ease their suffering and make their lives easier. In fact, when Scrooge redeems himself, he raises Cratchit’s salary and takes it upon himself to look after Tiny Tim and ensure the boy does not die because of an implied lack of healthcare or nutrition.

Also, you argue:
‘Dickens claims that money in turn tends to destroy and harm individuals, rather than declare positive consequences.‘

Dickens does not claim that money destroys and harms individuals. There is nothing in the novella that suggests that. If there is, you haven’t demonstrated that to me. Rather, Scrooge’s consuming obsession (key word) with money and the pursuit of wealth is his downfall. What Dickens does insinuate however, is that the wealthy should look after the poor and employers have a duty towards their employees (through paralleling Fezziwig and Scrooge and Bob and Scrooge).
[/b]

I would suggest keeping your introduction and conclusion succinct and really thinking about the key words in the question and all their implications before you write tomorrow because you do seem to know your text well. Good luck! :)

--- End quote ---

Appreciate the feedback! Yep, I think the reason why I misconstrued the meaning of the word 'comfortable' was just the pressure, as I put myself in a 50 minute limit, rather than 60. I've just gone about misinterpreting the question, although thanks a bunch for looking into it! Good luck for tomorrow as well :)

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