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bopbopbop:
Under timed conditions and without notes...only my second practice essay for the year, but please destroy it :D (I'd also appreciate if you could possibly give it a mark out of 10? Thanks)

"The Year of Wonders presents Anna, Michael and others in the village with a time of crisis. Are the changes in these characters always positive? Discuss"

Geraldine Brooks' "Year of Wonders" depicts the horrific struggle of the English town of Eyam in the 17th century. The novel is set during the Great Plague of London in 1665 and 1666 and shows the difficult times that the villagers face from the pestilence of the Plague. For most, this is a time of tragedy but for one, namely Josiah Bont, it is an opportunity to feed their own greed. The horrors experienced during this time also have a great effect on the characters in the story, transforming them as people. While characters such as Anna and Elinor grow and prosper in resilience and in knowledge, others deteriorate and become monsters as a result.

The time period between Spring 1665 and "Leaf-fall" 1666 is undoubtedly chaotic, however certain individuals use this as an opportunity to take advantage of others' deaths. Anna's father Joss Bont is a disturbed man, who was physically and sexually abused as a teenager. Due to his past experiences, rather than this time being a time of pain and suffering, Josiah actually hopes more people will pass, allowing him to garner their possessions as a reward for his duties of burying them. Many villagers are particularly disgusted with his actions, however there is little they can do to prevent them. He continues to use the crisis as a shopping spree, stealing prized possessions such as silver from people's homes. But where Joss really "excels in his wretchedness" is when he tries to murder Christoper Unwin in order to gain his belongings. Eventually, he is brought to justice for his actions and perishes after being nailed to the walls of a mine, putting an end to his reign of terror, which only worsened the already dire crisis the village was in.

Anna manages to persevere and prosper as a result of the challenges she deals with during 1665 and 1666. Anna begins the story as a "timid girl", being almost obsequious in her role as a "servant" to Michael Mompellion and also the Bradford family. However, she makes dramatic changes to her character throughout the novel. Her two sons Tom and Jamie are among the first to be taken by the Plague and although she almost gives up, at one point reverting to the "poppies of Lethe" for relief, she perseveres through her pain. Anna becomes integral in the village's well being, gaining vast knowledge in "physick" along with Elinor, so they can help people be "better off on acount of it". During the course of the story Anna develops mentally, into a tenacious and resilient woman who has "faced more terrors than many warriors." She continues to act heroicly, at one point even helping to deliver Mary Daniels' baby, although having little experience. She becomes more knowledgeable about "how things [stand] in the world", leaving behind her previous "light and dark" mentality. She constantly questions God, wondering about why His words were "always so harsh" and ultimately ends up concluding the Plague is a "thing in Nature merely". Anna's metamorphosis as a person shows what positive change can come out of such a terrible time.
The town Vicar Michael Mompellion, also considered a leader by many due to his connection with God and also his status as a strong male, is generally a good force for most of the story until the death of Elinor, after which he deteriorates greatly. Mompellion is an optimistic and confident man and convinces the village that the Plague is simply "sent by God to test and chastise those souls He [will] save.", allowing them to them they will be able to persevere through this test from God. He exclaims that this Plague "will make heroes of us all", constantly uplifiting the spirits of the villagers. At one point he even digs "six graves" in a day in an effort to ensure the mental well being of the villagers after the death of the sexton. Through all his good deeds though, the death of his wife Elinor has a major impact on him, rendering him incapable of assistance, forcing him to sit "all day in the dark, with the shutters closed." Once a firm believer in God, Mompellion now "never opens" his Bible and exclaims that "he was wrong" for believing. He ends up sleeping with Anna to her extreme displeasure, after he reveals he never gave Elinor the same. Michael Mompellion's loss of faith and of moral character is an extremely negative change that results in the loss of ultimately, himself.

Other characters in the noval also undergo significant negative transformations due to the Plague. The Bradford family is the wealthy influence of the town and in in a position to satisfy the needs of people in the village during the "Plague season". However they show great cowardice when the Plague hits Eyam and leave the villagers on their own, stranded in their "wide green prison". The family is so abhorently unfair to the village that they leave even their most senior mades such as Maggie Cantwell, with nothing. Maggie ends up dying of a stroke. John Gordon is another character who becomes a monster out of desperation to avoid the Plague. He first takes part in the attempted murder of Mem Gowdie and the subsequent murder of Anys Gowdie, assuming them to be witches. So futile does he feel his situation is, that he actually resorted to killing one of the town's most knowledgeable physicians in order to scave off the "Plague seeds". Later, John becomes a flagellant, mutilating himself to appeal to God, having become totally insane as a result of the pain and suffering the Plague has caused. Ann's stepmother Aphra Bont follows a similar path after the death of her husband Josiah. The stress and mental strain proves too much for this "shrewd" woman, leading to an exaggerated mental deterioration into a "lunatic". She eventually goes so far as to commit a treacherous filicide of her own daughter Faith, burning her and hanging her from the roof of her home. Soon after she also stabs Elinor in the neck, killing her. Over the course of the novel, many characters like these are similarly transformed for the worst.

During this incessantly tough time, many people must face incalculable hardships and suffering. Joss Bont actually uses this to his advantage and decides to feed his greed. The characters of Anna and Elinor are able to improve themselves as people, becoming resilient and tenacious women in the face of inimitable adversity. Others struggle through this crisis, becoming intoxicated in the pain and tragedy that envelopes the village. The Great Plague of London from 1665 to 1666 certainly has a dramatic effect on the villagers of Eyam, whether they change for the best or the worst.

Splash8:
My second essay for the year. Could someone possibly read over/correct it for me/ give feedback. Thanks.

'Father Barry is the real hero in 'On the Waterfront'. Discuss.'

In the film, 'On the Waterfront', the director Elia Kazan explores the corruption surrounding the docks of Hoboken and relates it to the influences of power in the 1950's. Through the film, Kazan exposes what life was like and focuses on what it takes to stand up and be a 'hero'. Father Barry is used as one of the main influential characters in the film, and exhibits a heroic figure. Through his stature, the concept of religion and manipulation is explored relative to various characters; and in comparison to the effect it had on Kazan in the 1950s.  However, Father Barry isn't considered to be the 'real' hero, as other characters contribute to the overall development and conclusion of the film, and also affect his decisions. Kazan demonstrates this through character interactions and speech, as well as presenting other characters with heroic qualities, such as Terry's strength and determination to be a 'contender', and stand up to Johnny Friendly and the mob. These events are designed to mimic Kazan's story, to rationalise and justify the unpopular choice he made to testify at the HUAC trials.

Throughout the film, Elia Kazan uses religion as a basis to show the effect it has on the characters, in order to demonstrate the power behind it.  Kazan shows us the influence religion has on Father Barry and his desire to do 'God's will', following Joey Doyle's death. This is primarily shown after Edie asks him, 'Have you ever heard of a saint hiding in a church?'. This prompts him to venture out to the docks the next morning and observe the harsh working lifestyle himself. His observations result in him realising that not all is perfect in the world, and in order to do 'God's will' he needs to try to fix the problem. This motivates Father Barry to take action, and try to encourage Dugan and Terry Malloy to stand up against the mob and do what's right. Kazan demonstrates this through Father Barry's interactions with these characters. Father Barry encourages Dugan to take action by promising him that if  'you stand up...I'll stand up with you', to make him feel that he isn't alone in this 'war'.
To encourage Terry to take action, Kazan initially shows Terry's reluctance and uncertainty towards Father Barry's plan through the use of his jacket. By showing Terry's jacket zipped up, Kazan is able to hint at his feelings of uncertainty. However, as Terry gains more knowledge about the mob, his jacket slowly unzips, which signifys Terry's growing ease, and his alignment with 'good'. Kazan also demonstrates the effect of religion on Father Barry by always showing his face in a light, to show that he is aligned with good, and he isn't corrupted by the mob.  Kazan uses this to show that Father Barry is a hero, as he offers support to those that need extra guidance to take action. These examples are used to also show that with guidance and support, an individual is more likely to come forward and do what is 'right' or expected, as Kazan did at the HUAC trials, despite the repercussions. However, the desire to do what is religiously 'right' can also drive an individual towards using manipulation in order to achieve their goal.

Through the film, Kazan is able to explore the effects of manipulation, through Father Barry's ability to convince Terry that the right thing to do is stand up to the mob. Kazan uses Father Barry to demonstrate manipulation, in order to show that it isn't always a negative thing. Father Barry's manipulation is shown to be more subtle than the mobs, and is based on planting ideas in Terry's head, and overseeing his actions in order to encourage him to speak out. Kazan shows this by constantly having Terry meet Father Barry in times of conflict and struggle. These meetings are essential in Terry's discovery of what is right, as well as his growing motivation to stand up to the mob and 'get [his] rights'. Kazan relates these events to McCarthy and HUAC in the way that they both use manipulation in order to encourage speaking out, or naming names. In his autobiography, Kazan describes the growing influence of McCarthy and HUAC in Hollywood as 'A terrible threat was in the air and moving closer...the clouds not grey but black, lightning bolts thrust through the heavy overcast and no on can be sure where they would strike next'.
Kazan also portrays Father Barry as a puppet master, or a 'Mr Upstairs' of the good. This is shown by having Father Barry overlook Terry's confession to Edie from the fence. It is also demonstrated at the end of the film when Father Barry says to Terry, 'Johnny Friendly's laying odds that you won't get up', which prompts Terry to get up and go to work despite having been beaten and in pain.  Kazan uses Father Barry's manipulative acts as a puppet master, to relate to the communists using manipulation in the 1950s.  The communists were using manipulation similar to 'Mr Upstairs', with a single leader calling the shots and overseeing progress. Kazan deliberately uses  both of these types of manipulation to show the audience that everyone was using manipulation.
Although Father Barry is using manipulation, he is still trying to do what is right, and is still a heroic figure in the film, because he is encouraging Terry to change and do the right thing. It is because of this heroic action that Father Barry isn't the real hero, as he encourages Terry to make sacrifices and become a hero himself.

Within the film, Kazan investigates what it takes to be a hero. Father Barry is considered a hero throughout the film, as he exhibits heroic qualities. However, he isn't the real hero as other characters affect his decisions and contribute to the outcome of the film.  Kazan demonstrates  other characters exhibiting heroic qualities through Terry Malloy and his decision to stand up to the mob. Kazan shows Terry's strength and determination mainly at the end of the film, after he has been beaten up by Johnny Friendly, and still makes the decision to take the 'chance to win the war' and go to work, despite being in pain. This strength and courage is a true heroic quality and it is what makes a real hero. This development in the film relates to Kazan's story and the difficult decision he made to testify at the HUAC trials. It is also used as a reflection of Kazan's journey and a way for him to justify his informing.
Kazan also presents a heroic quality in Edie's character, after her brother Joey's death at the beginning of the film. Edie displays a heroic quality by initially motivating Father Barry to do the right thing and take action against the mob, by questioning the way he conducts himself and his religious beliefs, by asking him 'Did you ever heard of a saint hiding in a church?'. This prompts Father Barry to go down to the docks and 'take a good look for [himself]'. Kazan uses this event in the film to set the story in motion.
Although Father Barry provided Terry with guidance and encouragement, he isn't the real hero, as he didn't stand up himself and make a change, instead he recruited others to do the work for him, such as Terry and Dugan. However, the closing shot of the film, with only Edie and Father Barry, indicates that Father Barry is a hero in the film, because he was the one with the power to guide the other characters towards taking down the mob. Kazan ends the film like this to show that although Father Barry isn't the real hero in the film, he is a very influential character with a heroic nature.

­Kazan represents Father Barry as a main influential character and a heroic figure in the film 'On the Waterfront'. However he isn't considered to be the real hero, as other characters contribute to the overall development of the film and the outcome. Kazan explores the influence of religion on various characters, including Father Barry, and manipulation, to demonstrate how it can be used to bring out heroic qualities in an individual, and encourage them to do the right thing. Kazan also  reviews what it takes to be a real hero. By examining these points, Kazan is able to relate these events to his story and justify the decision he made to testify at the HUAC trials. He is also able to prove that although Father Barry is a heroic figure and exhibits a heroic nature, he isn't the real hero.
 

brenden:
“Anna Frith is a different person after 1665.” In what ways is she changed and what caused the change?

The influences and experiences encountered in life are said to be the foundation of one’s identity Sounds more like the start of an expository essay haha. But cool cool. My suggestion is the same as last time; try out contextualising. . Anna Frith, a young maid in Geraldine Brooks’ “Year of Wonders”, is a testament to this; as she is transformed from a feeble maid,needs no comma because next word is 'to' so it's joining x and y to an independent, altruistic woman “who has faced more terrors than many warriors.”  Various individuals such as Anys Gowdie and Elinor Mompellion play a significant role in influencing such changes, as they provide Anna with an alternate view of the world in times of hardship. The positive changes embodied by Anna Frith reflect the truth in the title of the novel; that the adversity of the plague can in fact give rise to many “wonders.” Thesis statement. I also can't identify your three main points which should be the bulk of your intro. Writing is solid

Despite the explicit misogyny present in the 17th century, several influential females hold their own values, contrary to the social norm.  Figures such as Elinor Mompellion “could not, or would not, see the distinctions that the world wished to make between weak and strong, between women and men.”  Such perceptions cause Anna to question these values held by society, and consequently, her conformity to such distinctions. Sounding promisingAnna’s shift in values is evident through her endeavours with Elinor, where she too, does “not scruple to toil with her hands.”Yeah but where's the shift? What values is this challenging? Why is this significant? Anna and Elinor proceed to undertake many tasks that are considered to be only conducted by men, including the excavation of Merry Wickford’s mine, again reflecting their lack of concern in performing dangerous, ‘male-only tasks.’ That answers some of my questions. Symbolism of the mine? What's the chapter title and the significance? You can discuss a lot here and you're selling yourself short by moving on. Elinor Mompellion is also a strong, selfless woman, from whom “the whole parish benefits.” Elinor lives to assist others, be it miners or aristocratic rich, not seeing “the distinctions... between labourer and lord.” Anna adopts this lack care for a social hierarchy, helping all those in need, ranging from orphaned children to the damaged Rector Mompellion. Anna’s altruistic character is signified when she delivers and adorapts Elizabeth Bdford’s baby, despite the Bradfords’ blatant betrayal of the village. The changes in characteristics displayed by Anna reflect Elinor’s strong influence on her as a young woman. Too shallow. The start seemed looking good. You need more depth (and subsequently more length). Answer those questions ^. If you mention the mine, talk symbolism. Talk how she had to change from phobia, Sam etc. Body of the mine. Towards the end was a bit more shallow/retelly again.

Alike Elinor,This is just a yucky sentence starter imo. Alike seems so out of place. I'd use 'Similarly to' Anys Gowdie also holds social expectations in a low regard could have just said "defies social expectations" , albeit although I think sounds more natural than albeitshe does so in a more selfish manner. Anys explicitly expresses to Anna that she does not desire to be married, through stating “I’m not made to be any man’s chattel.” Such a concept of freedom of women is almost unheard of in the 17th century, and causes Anna to consider the lives of her and other woman from a different perspective. This perspective leads Anna to perceive other women through the eyes of Anys; “shackled to their menfolk.”  Anys’s influence of freedom and independence upon Anna is signified when Anna elects to start her new life in Oran, rather than follow the guidance of Mompellion in staying with Elinor’s family.retelly but at least it's strong on the prompt Moreover, Anys provides Anna with her perspective of religion, or lack thereof. Anys Gowdie is a blatant heathen, again, something that is unheard of in the 17th century. Anys’s blasphemy causes Anna to constantly question the legitimacy of her religion, prompting questions such as “did I really believe that God put the rock in my path to trip me?”  This doubt in religion is heightened by the seemingly illogical suffering of “good” people such as Maggie Cantwell, considering the plague is supposedly meant to be merely a test for “sinners”.  Anna’s eventual loss of faith is a testament to the heathenish influence bestowed upon her by Anys, as well as the absence of God during the suffering of “good people”.I think you've a habit of like.. Thinking you need to talk about something else and slipping it in as the last line. In the first para it was something about the baby, and here you've just slipped in Maggie Cantwell. If you're going to mention something. Explore it. You also didn't do it this paragraph. Nice writing, but I feel like I would read this essay before sitting my school's verification test (they test you on knowledge of the text) rather than read it if I wanted your opinion/analysis on the text.

Conversely to the many positive changes embodied by Anna, there were also negative effects as a result of the plague epidemic.This is great!! The ruthless conditions of the plague brought about a metamorphosis of even the most resilient of individuals, including Anna. Although Anna is transformed into an independent, altruistic woman through the influence of Elinor and Anys, she is also emotionally damaged by its conditions. This damage is evident upon Anna reflecting that “I, who always prided myself on grace, now allow myself a deliberate clumsiness” and “my body acts despite the firm resolve of my mind. Such statements signify that Anna is a damaged woman, who has indeed “faced more terrors than many warriors.” Regardless of the many changes displayed by Anna, there remains parts of her character that are unchanged. Despite the betrayal and evil expressed by figures such as the Bradfords, Josiah and Aphra, Anna retains her compassion for others that she has before the year of the plague. This is evident through her unparalleled love for her two new children; Aisha and Elinor. Such compassion displayed by Anna reflects that some characteristics of an individual cannot be changed, regardless of the adversities they are faced with.Not much to say other than more depth. Seems so short/lacking. I want analysis. Good idea though. Nice writing. Lack of metalanguage that will come naturally when you're analysing. This is an awesome prompt to talk about what values (feminism? skeptical?) the author is conveying through her embodiments in Anna etc etc etc. 

The year of the plague brought about the metamorphosis of many individuals within Eyam, including Anna Frith. This resulted in the transformation of Anna from an obedient, feeble young maid,feel like I've read this before? to a damaged, yet independent and altruistic woman. Such changes embodied by Anna are direct results of the influences bestowed upon her by figures such as Elinor and Anys, and the plague epidemic itself. Not a bad conc.

Really, just, most depth/analysis.

brenden:
"The Year of Wonders presents Anna, Michael and others in the village with a time of crisis. Are the changes in these characters always positive? Discuss"
Hm. An interesting prompt. Obviously positive is a key word here but it's interesting that the other half essentially specifies what you need to talk about and leaves you one idea open. Interested to see how you tackle this :)
Geraldine Brooks' "Year of Wonders" depicts the horrific struggle of the English town of Eyam in the 17th century.Quite a short sentence for an opening line. It's very matter-of-fact. I say contextualise (scroll up page 2 to see 507's first submission, I explain there) The novel is set during the Great Plague of London in 1665 and 1666 and shows the difficult times that the villagers face from the pestilence of the PlagueMy first suggestion would also serve you very well here, this sentence isn't doing much. For most, this is a time of tragedy but for one, bit weird here. "one, namely".. sort of makes each other redundant. Could even cut them both out, if you only mention JB, it's "one" or "namely" by default, isn't it?namely Josiah Bont, it is an opportunity to feed their own greed. Their is a plural but we're talking 'one'. The horrors experienced during this time also have a great effect on the characters in the story, transforming them as people. While characters such as Anna and Elinor grow and prosper in resilience and in knowledge, others deteriorate and become monsters as a result. Thesis statement. A line that sums your contention in its entirety. I often starts it with "Hence," but there are better ways. I googled it a lot and clarified with werdna after my own learning. Do the same imo.

The time period between Spring 1665 and "Leaf-fall" 1666 is undoubtedly chaotic, however certain individuals use this as an opportunity to take advantage of others' deaths.I'm not sure I like this sort of reference as a topic sentence. I think it's the matter-of-fact statement and then a follow up Anna's father Joss Bont is a disturbed man, who was physically and sexually abused as a teenager. Due to his past experiences, rather than this time being a time of pain and suffering, Josiah actually hopes more people will pass, allowing him to garner their possessions as a reward for his duties of burying them. Many villagers are particularly disgusted with his actions, however there is little they can do to prevent them. He continues to use the crisis as a shopping spreemuch too informal. You're retelling the story a bit at the moment., stealing prized possessions such as silver from people's homes. But where JossDon't call him Joss. really "excels in his wretchedness" is when he tries to murder Christoper Unwin in order to gain his belongings. Eventually, he is brought to justice for his actions and perishes after being nailed to the walls of a mine, putting an end to his reign of terror, which only worsened the already dire crisis the village was in. More analysis, and this will also bring in more quotes (shows a good textual knowledge without retelling)..bit short[depth]

Anna manages to persevere and prosper as a result of the challenges she deals with during 1665 and 1666. Anna beginsuh oh. seems like a retell is coming the story as a "timid girl", being almost be definitiveobsequious in her role as a "servant" to Michael Mompellion and also the Bradford family. However, she makes dramatic changes to her character throughout the novel. Her two sons Tom and Jamie are among the first to be taken by the Plague and although she almost gives up, at one point reverting to the "poppies of Lethe" for relief, she perseveres through her pain. Anna becomes integral in the village's well being, gaining vast knowledge in "physick" along with Elinor, so they can help people be "better off on acount of it". During the course of the story Anna develops mentally, into a tenacious and resilient woman who has "faced more terrors than many warriors." She continues to act heroicly, at one point even helping to deliver Mary Daniels' baby, although having little experience. She becomes more knowledgeable about "how things [stand] in the world", leaving behind her previous "light and dark" mentality. She constantly questions God, wondering about why His words were "always so harsh" and ultimately ends up concluding the Plague is a "thing in Nature merely". Anna's metamorphosis as a person shows what positive change can come out of such a terrible time.Not bad character descriptions, writing is nice, no huge flaws but lacking analaysis. (I know I'm suggesting this left right adn centre, it's one of the things I remember better about YoW)... you could talk about the body of the mine and the symbolism therein. what's the author trying to onvey through Anna's subversion of traditional gender roles? What's significant about the mine in terms of society and Anna's inner-self? I want more discussion and less summation.
The town Vicar Vicar? dafuq? Michael Mompellion, also considered a leader by many due to his connection with God and also his status as a strong male, Double also? No. "also considered a leader" is just, ankaeu, because his position IS the leader. Except for the quakers, he is literally the town leader. Status as a strong male? What do you mean? Becaues he is physically strong he has status or what? that's too ambiguousis generally a good force for most of the story until the death of Elinor, after which he deteriorates greatly. Mompellion is an optimistic and confident man and convinces the village that the Plague is simply "sent by God to test and chastise those souls He [will] save.", allowing them to them they will be able to persevere through this test from God. RetellingHe exclaims that this Plague "will make heroes of us all", constantly uplifiting the spirits of the villagers. At one point he even digs "six graves" in a day in an effort to ensure the mental well being of the villagers after the death of the sexton. Through all his good deeds thoughinformal,, you'd hear this in conversation, the death of his wife Elinor has a major impact on him, rendering him incapable of assistance, forcing him to sit "all day in the dark, with the shutters closed."smashing out the commas here. Could use less for more flow Once a firm believer in God, Mompellion now "never opens" his Bible and exclaims that "he was wrong" for believing. He ends up sleeping with Anna to her extreme displeasure?? makes it sounds like rape, really. She defs wanted the D, just was disgusted afterwards when he started talking. , after he reveals he never gave Elinor the sameokay my feedback is evidence that this sentence is a bit confusing. You're  writing things backwards, you should write that his revelation causes the displeasure, becaues that's how it happens in the story, make that happen in your sentence.. Michael Mompellion's loss of faith and of moral character is an extremely negative change that results in the loss of ultimately, himself.I think it's easier to retell with a prompt like this. You're essentially outlining what someone was prior to a change and then after the change to address the prompt but you're losing potential for analysis in doing so.

Other characters in the noval also undergo significant negative transformations due to the Plague. The Bradford family is the wealthy influence of the town and in in a position to satisfy the needs of people in the village during the "Plague season". However they show great cowardice when the Plague hits Eyam and leave the villagers on their own, stranded in their "wide green prison"You can get soooooooooooooo much analysis out of this quote. Wide. Green. Prison. Look at that. The juxtaposition of these words... . The family is so abhorently unfair to the village that they leave even their most senior mades such as Maggie Cantwell, with nothing. Maggie ends up dying of a stroke. hugely informal. You've really got to fix this problem. John Gordon is another character who becomes a monster out of desperation to avoid the Plague. He first takes part in the attempted murder of Mem Gowdie and the subsequent murder of Anys Gowdie, assuming them to be witches. So futile does he feel his situation is, that he actually resorted to killing one of the town's most knowledgeable physicians in order to scave off the "Plague seeds". Later, John becomes a flagellant, mutilating himself to appeal to God, having become totally insane as a result of the pain and suffering the Plague has caused. Ann's stepmother Aphra Bont follows a similar path after the death of her husband Josiah. The stress and mental strain proves too much for this "shrewd" woman, leading to an exaggerated mental deterioration into a "lunatic". She eventually goes so far as to commit a treacherous filicide of her own daughter Faith, burning her and hanging her from the roof of her home. Soon after she also stabs Elinor in the neck, killing her. Over the course of the novel, many characters like these are similarly transformed for the worst.
This paragraph is essentially summarising the stories of many characters and their changes.
During this incessantly tough timetough time, informal., many people must face incalculable hardships and suffering. Joss His name isn't Joss. Unless you're a sailing buddy, don't call him that, it's informalBont actually uses this to his advantage and decides to feed his greed. The characters of Anna and Elinor are able to improve themselves as people, becoming resilient and tenacious women in the face of inimitable adversity. Others struggle through this crisis, becoming intoxicated in the pain and tragedy that envelopes the village. The Great Plague of London from 1665 to 1666 certainly has a dramatic effect on the villagers of Eyam, whether they change for the best or the worst.Nice conclusion.


Alrighty you definitely have to work on your informality that crops up from time to time. (I really had to do this as well, as one of my biggest battles). You definitely need some more analysis in there, btu this is to be expected for your second practice essay, especially without notes. Try to actively involve yourself in class discussion and pay keen attention. When you offer the quotes you do, analyse them. Don't just slip them in as if an essay were a checklist and you needed to tick the 'evidence' square. Your writing is not bad... you have a tendency to overuse commas and this can damage your flow. This is actually a rather fair effort under time at this point in the year. Keep generating practice pieces/redrafting according to your teacher's feedback. You could also add some flair but this is a couple of stepping stones over, I wouldn't worry about it right now, I'm just pointing out everything that's wrong so if I mark an essay of yours in three months and I say "add flair" you don't think "why didn't he tell me last time". Well done :)

bopbopbop:
Okay, I'll try and rewrite this now. Tried to up the analysis, improve fluency and general language control as a whole, embed more quotes and use symbolism as well. Hope it's better :D

"The Year of Wonders presents Anna, Michael and others in the village with a time of crisis. Are the changes in these characters always positive? Discuss."

Following the restoration of the English monarchy and the end of the Puritan era, England is ravaged by the pestilence of the Great Plague of London. Geraldine Brooks explores the differences in how people deal with the hardships they are faced with during the "Plague season" in her historical fiction novel "Year of Wonders". The characters of a country town are exposed to the pain and suffering brought by the Plague in 1665, with many being driven insane from the fear with which they constantly live. For these people, their lack of mental strength causes them great anguish and prevents them from persevering through the challenges before them. Conversely, a minority of characters exhibit remarkable tenacity in the face of crisis and this allows them to evolve, gaining knowledge about the world and moving away from death and "towards life".

Fear is the main catalyst for the loss of many people's sanity and humanity. The village's decision to seclude themselves from the rest of the world to prevent the spread of "Plague seeds" confines them within a "wide green prison". The villagers are essentially trapped, forced to attempt to live through a vicious season of death. This decision is met with at least some worry by everyone in the village, especially the wealthy Bradford family, who actually decide to flee the village, leaving the rest of the village to "satisfy [their] needs" by themselves. The fact people are confined causes great unrest within the village and also outside it, as when Maggie Cantwell and the pantry boy Brand encounter people from other villages, they are met with utter contempt. This all goes to cause fear within the minds of the villagers, as no matter how "wide" they venture, they will be unable to escape the effects of the Plague, whether they be literal or consequential. Brooks also makes use of pathetic fallacy when Anna describes an impending storm as "marching" towards her in "advancing columns", as if an army is marching towards her, preparing for war. This can be linked to the same ominous and sickening feeling the villagers experience when they are faced with impending and inevitable death. This feeling drives several people insane, as it did with John Gordon, whose desperation to stave off the plague results in him becoming a murderer and later a flagellant. The image of him mutilating himself for God's mercy is an extreme one and depicts just how profound the changes in certain characters are as a result of being faced with the depressing banality of crisis.

The transformation of Michael Mompellion is a testament to what effect loss and grief can have on even the most strong-willed of individuals. Michael Mompellion is the town leader, having a strong connection with God and can be likened to Jesus with his white robe. Mompellion's will far exceeds "his body" motivating him to dig "six graves" in a single day to ensure the well being of the villagers. He is a determined and resilient man and excels in his moral and ethical attitude. However, with the death of his wife Elinor, Mompellion deteriorates to the point where he is reduced to sitting "all day in the dark, with the shutters closed." His dehumanisation is similar to the decline of Elinor's garden, as no matter whose "hands" tend to it, "yet it will not be her garden", just as he will no longer be "Elinor Mompellion's Michael". Without Elinor, Michael becomes unhinged. He admits "he was wrong" for believing in God, having lost all faith as a result of Elinor's death, "never open[ing]" his Bible following it. Michael is a changed individual, stripped of his once God-like character he now acts immorally and unjustly, not informing Anna that he "never lay" with Elinor until he had already bedded her. This was to her extreme displeasure and subsequently resulted in Anna leaving town. For grief to change a man so drastically shows just how powerful it can be in transforming an individual. Michael Mompellion's loss of faith, character and morals is an extremely negative change that can only be caused by crisis and its effects.

But unlike Michael Mompellion and others that have similarly fallen victim to the strain of the Plague, Anna Frith's transformation shows what positives can arise from even the most dire of situations. Anna is unlike other weaker characters in the village and evolves from a "timid girl" to an anachronistic woman who has "faced more terrors than many warriors." Through Anna's defiance of traditional gender roles and Michael Mompellion's deterioration, Brooks conveys that women are capable of vastly more than they are generally thought to be in the 17th century. This idea is furthered through Anna's willingness to explore the world of "physick", leaving behind her previous "dark and light" mentality to see how "things stood in the world". Her garnering of knowledge and her forward-thinking attitude shows Anna to have changed dramatically for the best. Anna constantly confronts her most poignant fears, venturing into a mine to perform the same maneuver that killed her husband Sam. When she is covered by the "ore" on the walls of the mine, it is as if the physical and mental struggles of the months before have finally taken their toll on her, burying her under what she has been dealing with. However when she is rescued by Elinor, she effectively rises from the ashes, having succeeded in her goal to secure the financial situation of young Merry Wickford and also in conquering one of her greatest phobias. Anna's metamorphosis into a resilient, tenacious and optimistic individual is finalised with the naming of her adopted daughter Aisha, meaning life. She has persevered through the deaths of her two sons and learnt to love, care and live again, even through a "season of death".

Year of Wonders displays how dystopian the world can be in a time of crisis and how fear can affect the lives of so many. Pain and suffering are abundant in the novel, as evidenced by the reactions of villagers such as John Gordon in response to being isolated in a "prison" filled with rampant death. The novel shows how strong individuals can succumb to the power of grief and anguish, losing themselves in the pain and suffering they have endured. However, Anna's perseverance and growth as a person highlights that not everything in this pessimistic time period is negative, as she changes for the better, defying gender generalisations and prospering. It is clear, that whether the pestilence of the Plague results in positive or negative transformations, crisis can cause alterations in everyone.

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