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georgiadorahy:
Hi, this is an essay for Module B. The question was
An inherent tension between stability and change is revealed through characterisation in Winton’s Cloudstreet. To what extent does your interpretation of Cloudstreet align with this view? In your response, make detailed reference to the novel.

I'm not sure if I have answered the question very well, also feel free to go crazy with the essay marking, I need all the help I can get. Thank you!

For most people, the experience of stability in one’s life is their desired state, therefore making the occurrence of change that many find difficult to come to terms with. As a result, there is an ongoing tension between the two states of existence for the characters in Tim Winton’s Cloudstreet. It is these situations of change that not only shape how the characters are portrayed, but it also offers a sense of relatability for the reader to effectively respond to the text, therefore heightening how Tim Winton’s novel possess a deep level of textual integrity.

The most notable change in the novel is when “Not all of Fish Lamb… (came) back”, and it is this event that catalyses the tension between stability and change that transcends the novel. It leaves Quick completely consumed by his guilt, which characterizes him as a pessimistic character as he tries to come to terms with his survivor’s guilt. The visual reminders of the suffering in the world are what in central to his pessimism, as it reminds him that “he was alive and well, and his brother wasn’t”. A metaphor is employed to convey how the images haunt him at night to accentuate how the change to the Lamb’s life leaves him emotionally scarred and consumed by his guilt, “But at night those cripples, those reffos, the starving weeping wounded on his walls wait till Quick is asleep and then they dance… as they throw themselves into a weird joyous tumult over his bed.” It is the characterization of Quick that is able to heighten the reader’s understanding of how change has impacted on his and other character’s lives, and leaves him yearning for more change to return it to a previous sense of stability in their lives prior to Fish’s accident.

However, following Fish’s accident, Fish tries to promote change in the other characters in order for them to feel at ease with themselves and live comfortably in a stable state. Quick believes that in going “walkabout” he will be able to be at ease with himself as he would no longer be in an environment that reminds him of the incident, however, Winton reveals via magic realism that his return is essential for him to forgive himself. This is catalyzed when he sees Fish “rowing a box across the top of the wheat”, and is emphasized with the repetition of Fish saying “Carn” to herald his homecoming. In this way, it become evident that upon his returns to Cloudstreet, Quick has come to terms with his guilt, as he knows that his brother loves and misses him. Therefore, although change is an experience that is challenging for some of the characters, it is one that is essential for them to be comfortably experience stages of stability.

The event of Fish’s drowning has a continuation of implications that lead to change in the lives of characters, such as Oriel. With Fish’s drowning, she deems it a “miracle”, which is fitting for the “god fearing” Lambs. However, when they realize he did not fully return, she is disillusioned with her faith in God. explained in Helen Thomson’s essay, “Losing that philosophy (a belief in God) which had formed her self has contributed to Oriel’s loss of identity… The tent becomes a symbol of Oriel’s alienation, not only from the house and family but from her self.” The character of Oriel therefore is one who persistently struggles with change as a result of her lack of identity from early on in her childhood; she even explains that “When I was a girl, I had this strong feeling that I did not belong anywhere”. The reflective tone established through past tense language highlights the enduring struggle Oriel faces with her identity, that heralds for constant change in her life in order to find her niche in society, which is why she defines her life as a “war”. Oriel is a character who does not deal well with change, as seen in her dramatic move to the tent, but needs to in order to find that she does in fact belong, and it is Fish who allows her to do this.

Although the change that arose from Fish’s death does not impact on him positively, the experiences that proceed that have a positive impact on both him and the other characters, as evidenced when the narration takes on the ‘Spiritual Fish’ character. A stream of consciousness passage conveys Fish’s intentions on allowing the Oriel to experience a shift in perspective in order to be one with herself, “keep strong Mum, keep the steel… Oh how I missed you all my life. You’ll see its best this way”. Thus, Fish’s thought process reveals that the ‘way’ he wants will be of most benefit for Oriel in order to no longer be alienated. Moreover, Fish’s death can be seen as the most dramatic change alongside his drowning, as it allows for a multitude of repercussions to occur, one of which being the connectedness with his other half, “I burst into the moon, suns and stars of who I really am.” The “moon, suns and stars” becomes symbolic to the reader of another dimension beyond the physical in which Fish is able to become unified with the half of him that was once lost. Thus, for some characters stability is the undesired state, as they need change to be one.
   
Despite change the undesired state of existence for many, it is a necessary experience in order to grow as a person. As a result of this, the responder can engage with the text through the purely human responses that Winton revealed through his characterization, thus highlight why Cloudstreet has textual integrity. Therefore, while there is ongoing tension between stability and change in the lives of the characters through the saga of Cloudstreet, the implications of these events are what herald to the reader how important it is to have the tension between these two states of existence to thrive, which is a lesson that all people can benefit from.

jaimebaker97:
Hello  :) this is my discovery essay I wrote for my Advanced English pretrial, if you could have a look at it for my Trials coming up that would be awesome  :)
I'm worried this essay doesn't have a solid structure and I feel like it's a bit all over the place.
The essay question was pretty basic "Discuss how elements of discovery was explored in the text 'The Tempest' as well as at least one related text"
Also feel free to be as critical as possible, i really need to improve this essay.
Thank You heaps :) :)

An individuals or groups discoveries or process of discovering can vary due to their society, culture, history or social statues. These discoveries can shape a person’s context and define themselves or a society. The idea of discovery is conveyed through the texts “The Tempest” by William Shakespeare, “Tomorrow When The War Began” by John Marsden and “Five Discoveries That Changed The World” by author unknown. These texts each portray several levels of discovery that define the characters and plotline, they can be compared and contrasted which develops a further understanding of the idea of discovery.
The altered perspective of Alonso shapes Prospero’s transition through “The Tempest”. Prospero’s inner journey to self-discovery is reinforced by a sense of contrite release. Prospero learns to express remorse towards his past actions and perceives himself as responsible for his own demise. The symbolism of the storm through the stage directions “A tempestuous noise of thunder and lightning heard” expresses Prospero’s emotional turmoil conveyed through the ferocity of the tempest, as it represents the built up rage Prospero has directed towards his brother. The sound and lighting effects surround the stage building in intensity as Act 1. Scene 1. progresses displaying the built up rage Prospero holds towards his brother. This extreme level of indignation consumes Prospero causing him to contradict himself with the unfair treatment of his servant Ariel who he continues to enslave longer than originally agreed in order to serve his own purposes. Once Prospero is able to let go of the rage he holds, the responder witnesses a noteworthy change in his characterisation. Prospero reconsiders what his magic has achieved and promises to relinquish his powers and thus the metaphorical tempest inside of himself. Shakespeare has used visual imagery to convey the metaphor of the tempest as it subsides “The noontide sun, called forth the mutinous, winds,/ And ‘twixt the green sea and the azured vault/ Set roaring war- to th’ dread rattling thunder” thus portraying the release of Prospero’s rage as he discovers he is able to forgive and move on. When Prospero throws his magic into the ocean it symbolises the release of his power as he realises that he does not need it, which represents the key part of his transformation.
  Much like Prospero, Ellie in “Tomorrow When The War Began” experiences a character transformation, although hers is accentuated by the discovery of inner strength catalysed by the impact of war. Ellie’s new found strength is reinforced by her characterisation; she is able to maintain a clear head during her time of tribulation. Marsden’s use of irony highlights Ellie’s internal discovery “I wasn’t scared, just fascinated to see what would happen” as it represents the transformation of her character as she grows from her experiences to a point where she no longer fears both the internal and external war that surrounds it but simply accepts it. Ellie and Prospero both undergo a significant positive character transformation, as they both learn to accept and move on from the past tragedies that impact them, letting go of the darkness that clouds their minds.

 The corruption of indigenous cultures at the hands of a ‘civilised’ world in the name of colonisation is represented through the character of Caliban. Stephano and Trinculo manipulate Caliban to adopt modern hierarchical concepts with the intention of making Stephano king of the island. As Caliban discovers the civilised world he begins to lose himself, as well as his spiritual connection to the land and his culture. Although Caliban believes Stephano and Trinculo to be worthy of kings, he is not aware that they are both drunks with no regard for their civilised society who only perceive Caliban as a financial investment. They believe people will pay money to “see an indian” this use or irony symbolises the manipulation and corruption of indigenous people around the world, conveying loss of culture by the hands of the ‘civilised world’. Caliban does eventually realise his mistakes, and much like Prospero, has his own transformation in which he repents his actions. Which includes plotting to kill Prospero. Caliban begs Prospero for forgiveness “And seek for grace. What a thrice- double ass/ Was I, to take this drunkard for a god/ And worship this dull fool!” which is bestowed upon him. Through the manipulation of Caliban the audience discovers the true nature of colonisation, and the effects it has on indigenous cultures. The discovery of new worlds can lead to negative impact upon that particular world, as Shakespeare symbolises through the characterisation of Caliban.
  While “The Tempest” explores the discovery of new worlds, “Five Discoveries That Changed The World” explores discoveries of knowledge. The scientific discovery of fingerprints has moulded the way our society deals with crime today, enabling the law to identify victims and perpetrators far more efficiently. The photo of a fingerprint communicates the global value of this discovery demonstrated through the widely recognized close up shot of a human fingerprint. The composer’s use of an extreme close up shot heightens the significance of this discovery whereas the familiarity of the photo portrays an importance for this science within our advanced society. The recognisable picture is a symbol in our society for the criminal justice system further increasing its importance. Similarly to the discovery of new worlds this scientific discovery impacts the world as a whole.

cricketlad1998:
Hi Ned Nerb,
Thanks so much for this service, you're a legend! :) So here is my Mod A essay involving King Richard III and Looking For Richard, I may not be answering the question and my argument may not be concise and clear. So some feedback would be really appreciated. Thanks again :D  (Note: I haven't done the conclusion)
Through exploring connections between texts, enriched perspectives of each text is possible
By exploring commonalities between texts we understand how although our human nature remains constant, our values are susceptible to change in different contexts. In Shakespeare’s Richard III, we discover the desire for authority present amongst us, and how this quest for power demands the sacrifice of an individual’s moral compass.  Shakespeare’s 16th century context crafts the persona of Richard as; a quintessential Machiavellian vice, whose transgressions sully the Divine Order, which dictated the Christian Elizabethan society. Yet Al Pacino’s Looking for Richard (1997) has a different aim: creating a psychological portrait of a tragic Richard and embrace Shakespeare’s legacy as necessary for a  multiracial, highly secular American audience, reflecting the authority exploited nature of modern politicians and leaders. Through the power of docudrama format, Pacino examines how our perception of morality has shifted in a post-modernist context, through his education adverse audience. Thus, the relationship between Shakespeare’s text and Pacino’s film epitomises that although the journey for power remains constant, it is appropriated to reflect the moral standards of society.   
The quest for power is pursued for greater recognition, which hence prompts negative individual ambition. The War of Roses, during the 15th century transformed the honourable nature of power, into a largely self-driven Machiavellian cause, affirming the instability of control during the epoch. Thus, Richard’s exaggerated physical flaws illustrate a ruthless tyrannical figure who chooses “to prove a villain,” creating the perspective of an outcast in the York family. Richard’s endless drive for power stems from instability in the British monarchy considering his recognition of “hate of the idle pleasures.” The soliloquy of Richard’s rhetoric vindicates his marginalisation from social paradigms, to “dive thoughts, down to my soul,”  personification reinforces Richard’s isolation to resort speaking to his audience, thus revealing that power needs to be recognised subconsciously before “by proof we see.” Initially, Richard’s ambition for supremacy is largely unrecognised by others but foiled through his attribute as a “foul hunch-backed toad.” In response, Richard questions the Divine Order by usurping his authority over God, who “bids us to do evil,” reiterating how the social cataclysms such as reformation of Protestant Religion allowed   Richard’s  jurisdiction to manipulate perception of religion. Thus, power is evoked by greater respect within society however can result in radical transformation of pre conceived notions.
However, power allows a wider scope of an individual’s mentality. Pacino’s Looking for Richard embodies post-modernist thinking; consequently empowering the viewer to be the judge of Shakespeare’s Richard III.  Post-modernism is characterised through a late 20th century view that traditional forms of power are corrupt while free thinking serves as the basis of individual views rather than religion.  Pacino manipulates our preconceived judgments about Shakespeare, through a fade in shot of the title, from ‘King Richard’ to ‘Looking for Richard,’  epitomising how modern audiences have the power to formulate their own perceptions without bias, utilising Shakespeare to “instruct us.” Furthermore, the essence to understand Shakespeare stems from modern day leadership where people “want a change,” with greater voice. Hence, breaking of the fourth wall from Pacino makes Richard’s leadership motives more accessible to the audience who have a “connection made.” Furthermore, the use of vox pops, allows Pacino to distribute authority and voice to mass American audience, thus bridging the stigma of “inferiority… from the British.  Consequently, Pacino has the power “communicate…Shakespeare to others,” however alternatively uses Hollywood actors, to generate greater moral teachings so we “wouldn’t be so violent.” Essentially, Pacino extends his authority through this film format, to contextualise the relevance of Shakespearean ideas in a modern, multicultural society. 
Morality and conscience are determined by the extent to which individuals pursue their desires, in which our socio-cultural context influences the reception of our actions by society. The immoral actions of Richard become highly chastised by an Elizabethan society which demean “God’s enemy.” Evidently, Richard acknowledges that others “hold him a foe,” establishing his forthcoming will to transform the nobility of the monarchy to a “boisterous storm,” pathetic fallacy is reinforced by a Citizen highlighting how Richard’s dispute from Providentialism created widespread injustice to “this son of York.”   to how the ethics of society are commonly adapted  monumental and widespread injustice towards “this son of York.” Notably, the hierarchy was reined through the Divine Order by an ailing King Edward of whom Richard confesses has no “touch of pity.” Consequently, Richard’s malicious conscience is allegorically recognised with “the boar,” on his coat of arms, reflecting the Elizabethan recognition of fate and external forces. Hence supporting Shakespeare’s affirmation of the Tudor Myth questioning Richard III’s legitimacy to rule, given the “defacer of God’s handiwork.”  Furthermore, Richard’s lack of conscience is further rekindled by his mother; his birth was “a grievous burthen,” an accurate prophecy as he “murders his brothers.” Richard’s lack of regard for family ties vindicate a non-existent moral encompass which “Brother…G…the murderer be,” reiterating how the Elizabethan hierarchical system permitted Richard’s ability to manipulate the tactical nous of a “harsh extremity.” Ultimately, theocentric and feudalistic upholding during Elizabethan England permitted Richard to exploit his human morality, while his actions reinforce a villainous corrupted individual with his non-secular society.
Our morality can often be acknowledged by how we perceive and respond to our past shortcomings. Looking for Richard  exhibits Richard as a morally flawed individual rather than a “grand tyrant of the Earth.” The docudrama format seeks alternate perspectives; by utilising the adoration of Pacino to shed greater perceptions on Richard’s inner working of conscience. Manipulation of chiaroscuro embodies Richard in darkness highlighting the extent of his disability juxtaposing the “some pity for him.” Pacino, attempts to re-establish how 20th century audiences with a greater sense of liberal ethics fail to understand Shakespeare’s emphasis on creating a “kind of devil.” Additionally, Pacino’s costuming of regal clothing contrasted with a baseball cap, indicates the collaboration within his character. Hence, Pacino conceptualises Richard as a modern cult figure, with common values rather than one who “wants to be king.” The ethics of leadership on the basis of one’s religious affiliations is also questioned through the meta-documentary format. Although, Pacino being Richard is prominent in non-secular Elizabethan society, Pacino transitions away indoctrination suggesting “a person has an opinion,” reinforcing the postmodern view against naďve realism. Hence, Pacino sets important scenes at the Cloisters rather than various religious confinements, enforcing the transition to which we base our fundamental principles on the achievement of mankind rather than God. Therefore, Looking For Richard enforces how our changing environment contributes to the degree that one’s moral conscience is assessed.

heids:
Hey!  Sorry, with the site being down a few days, we've left three unmarked essays.  If you've posted your essay and no one's responded, and you still want feedback, please just quickly post to say so, otherwise I won't mark your essay (Ned Nerb may, this is just my own statement).

All the best with your trial results guys! :D

Dump:
Hey i just found this amazing website from a post on Facebook
This service is truly amazing, from what i've read, the feedback is so detailed and actually provide insightful knowledge to improve ones ability in order to write a band six essay. 
Anyways... sadly i got my trials next week, if you could look at my discovery essay, creative and mod C: wag the dog essay it would mean the world to me! thanks
i have the marking criteria of Mod C attached within the document, unfortunately for creative writing and discovery text i do not have the criteria, but i would assume its similar.
i have few questions
in regards to discovery text
-do you see constant engagement with discovery concepts/rubric?
-do you see how the essay can be mended and suit the question on the day of trials? if not where can i change to improve?
-does some sentences make sense? I've :-[ been told by my tutor i sometimes use words out of content :/
in regards to Mod C, this is the very same essay i memorised and got 15/20 for. the essay question was
"the manner in which composers represent people and politics has the capacity to influence society's perception of power and integrity" Evaluate the above statement making close reference to Barry Levinson's Wag the Dog, and ONE other related text of your own choosing.
-what is missing from my essay and the top band?
-where can i improve? sophistication? better techniques? structure?
In regards to creative
-does my creative convey the ideas/concepts of discovery clear?
i attempted to cover
-self discovery
-rediscovery at the end
-physical discovery
-ramification of scientific discovery
-emotional discovery
-self realization
-how discovery discerns the protagonists about himself and the others around him
-the endless future possibilities, new ideas and values stimulated by discovery
-how discovery may constrain further discoveries

Thanks so much for the help in advance. i'm really utilizing this opportunity to improve :)

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