HSC Stuff > Marking Thread Archives
English Standard Essay Marking
jamonwindeyer:
--- Quote from: beatroot on September 02, 2017, 03:44:41 pm ---Thanks for your feedback and comments Jamon, really appreciate it! Instead of giving plot summaries and character descriptions, what do I put in instead? I can't help but add in the text's storyline because it is a novel after all. What should I do? Thanks again :)
--- End quote ---
You're welcome! Great question, you put in quotes and techniques. So instead of describing a character and what they represent, say, "Yo, the composer uses this technique to show this characters quality, which tells the audience _____ about gender roles/corruption/whatever." It's sort of communicating the same thing, but you are approaching it analytically by relating it to a choice made by a composer, not just reciting details from a text. Essentially, the marker/reader doesn't need to know the plot to be able to appreciate the ideas being communicated by the composer. Sort of like how you can point to examples in Harry Potter where you are shown the power of love, without knowing the whole plot of Harry Potter :)
Adammurad:
Hey, I have a creative for english and I'm currently doing a feature article on the refugee crisis around the world and how developed countries should accept them I was wondering anyone could give me a good sample thesis statement to help out to start plotting ideas Thanks
jamonwindeyer:
--- Quote from: Adammurad on September 03, 2017, 06:45:47 pm ---Hey, I have a creative for english and I'm currently doing a feature article on the refugee crisis around the world and how developed countries should accept them I was wondering anyone could give me a good sample thesis statement to help out to start plotting ideas Thanks
--- End quote ---
Hey! For a Feature Article you don't have to worry about fancy wording or anything like that - You just need a main message. What is the main thing your feature article wants to portray/represent? It sounds like you've already got that, so start thinking how you want to do it. Perhaps you follow the story of a (made up) refugee (or more than one) as they try unsuccessfully to find refuge, or perhaps face discrimination when they do? Ultimately you should go with your gut, it sounds like you know what you want to do so you just need to decide how to do it :)
Adammurad:
Hey @jamonwindeyer thank you for the info what do you think of this as an intro?
The issue of immigration and the influx of refugees from third world countries to industrially developed countries has raised security concerns to many citizens globally because they may fear that immigrants may take their jobs and homes. However, I do believe the presence immigrants and refugees are a positive contributor to society and the economy for example job vacancies and skills gaps can be filled, economic growth can be sustained ,services to an ageing population can be maintained when there are insufficient young people locally, the pension gap can be filled by the contributions of new young workers and failing schools (and those with falling numbers) can be transformed.
jamonwindeyer:
--- Quote from: Adammurad on September 03, 2017, 10:38:32 pm ---Hey @jamonwindeyer thank you for the info what do you think of this as an intro?
The issue of immigration and the influx of refugees from third world countries to industrially developed countries has raised security concerns to many citizens globally because they may fear that immigrants may take their jobs and homes. However, I do believe the presence immigrants and refugees are a positive contributor to society and the economy for example job vacancies and skills gaps can be filled, economic growth can be sustained ,services to an ageing population can be maintained when there are insufficient young people locally, the pension gap can be filled by the contributions of new young workers and failing schools (and those with falling numbers) can be transformed.
--- End quote ---
Not bad at all! I'd say that you might want to have a more unique, shorter, punchier introduction to hook the reader first. THEN go into this paragraph. This is good contextualisation but it doesn't quite have the 'grab' that the start of a feature article needs :)
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version