Unhappy with many tutors

[I_I]

Hi guys
I just had a tutor come by so he could help me with English. He was not a tutor I anticipated On email, he seemed so friendly, enthusiastic and capable. I met him in person today and he was quiet, and seemed quite eager to leave as soon as the clock struck after an hour. 5 minutes passed while I was talking to him about VCE and generally trying to get to know him but after a while he was like, 'I would like to go now'. I spent 30 dollars for that hour, but it wasn't worth it. Why do so many tutors resemble him? Is this how tutoring work? Reading (basically) my language analysis essay for an hour and getting 30 bucks for it? I don't understand. I'd rather get help from AN, the submission and marking board is so much better!

Just felt a little frustrated. //end of rant.

[silverpixeli]

Hi guys
I just had a tutor come by so he could help me with English. He was not a tutor I anticipated On email, he seemed so friendly, enthusiastic and capable. I met him in person today and he was quiet, and seemed quite eager to leave as soon as the clock struck after an hour. 5 minutes passed while I was talking to him about VCE and generally trying to get to know him but after a while he was like, 'I would like to go now'. I spent 30 dollars for that hour, but it wasn't worth it. Why are so many tutors resemble him? Is this how tutoring work? Reading (basically) my language analysis essay for an hour and getting 30 bucks for it? I don't understand. I'd rather get help from AN, the submission and marking board is so much better!

Just felt a little frustrated. //end of rant.

Not all tutors are like this

Building a relationship with students is an important part of the support that tutoring is supposed to provide, so you're definitely being short-changed if you feel like they don't want to be there!

Maybe face to face isn't the best way to go about english tutoring? When I was in year 12 I had an english tutor but we never met, I'd email him essays and he'd email me written, detailed feedback for ~$8 per essay. Just food for thought, you could try to find someone like that.

[heids]

Give him another lesson.

This might give you some perspective.  I'll assume he's like me (unlikely, but ah well).  Starting tutoring recently, I hit the sharpest learning curve on earth.  I suddenly landed 3 students in a row - I was tutoring them three days in a row, giving lessons to three new students all at once when I'd never even tutored before.  I'm personally very shy, not confident in my own skills, and struggle when I'm put on the spot.  So, while I can easily appear 'friendly, enthusiastic and capable' online, in person I can suddenly look incompetent, until I become confident.  I shivered out of my first session clutching $25, utterly stunned - like, what did I even do to earn that money!?

So, while I had all the care, enthusiasm, (hopefully) friendliness, eagerness to help, and willingness to stick round for more than the hour, I felt like I wasted their hour and their money.  I was shy, apologetic and indecisive; I couldn't explain a really basic concept I knew well, I just got that rising panic you get in the middle of a tricky exam; I got lost halfway through the lesson with no clue where to head next.  And the student was equally shy, apologetic and indecisive.

I'm learning, though.  You know how nurses learn to give injections to oranges before humans?  Oh to be able to hire dummy students so I don't make a mess on the real thing.

Morals:
> The first lesson is always the most awkward; you have to approach different students in totally different ways, and second lesson you're prepared a bit more for what that student needs.
>  If he's a new tutor, he'll probably change and learn extremely fast.  Give him leeway.  If he's been tutoring for ages, chances are he's not likely to improve much.
> He may be friendly, enthusiastic, caring and capable - just shy and nervous at first.  That's not good, but it doesn't mean he's hopelessly incompetent or doesn't care about helping you.  Do you know exactly what you want from the lesson?  Taking the lead for 5-10min might help him settle in and take over.  Not that it's your job to help your tutor LOL.
> Tell him how you feel (gently)!  Honestly, as long as you don't say 'you're hopeless and I just wasted my money', I'd LOVE to hear what my students want from the lesson and how they think I should improve.


Well, maybe he just isn't caring or learning, in which case, dump him.


P.S. Feel free to pay me to mark your essays online jks jks

[Coffee]

On email, he seemed so friendly, enthusiastic and capable. I met him in person today and he was quiet, and seemed quite eager to leave as soon as the clock struck after an hour.

A few things to consider:

• He's shy in person and that's why he seemed so friendly online. It's much easier to express yourself online. He's probably very friendly offline too but since he doesn't know you it might not come off that way. Besides, it's not uncommon for both parties to be a little shy the first time meeting.
• Do you think his quietness in conjunction with his eagerness to leave might stem from a different source? Family emergency perhaps? Maybe he didn't feel comfortable talking about this to you because you're his student and he felt he didn't need to bother you.

It might be nice if you email him explaining how you felt and that you hope everything is alright as he left so quickly. I'm sure he would appreciate your concern and perhaps this would put your mind at ease.

Is this how tutoring work? Reading (basically) my language analysis essay for an hour and getting 30 bucks for it?

This isn't how tutoring works but for a first lesson, maybe. He might have just wanted to get an idea as to where you were at, strengths/weaknesses, etc before planning a proper lesson. I think you ought to give him another go but if you're worried about wasting another $30 for a similar lesson I would email him asking what he is planning for next lesson.

[I_I]

@silverpixeli Yes, there are (I hope) many tutors who are really awesome I really like your idea though, after all, essay marking was what I wanted initially.

@bangli_lok Yes, I'm an introvert too, so I can understand him in some perspective. Perhaps I was so focused on the money (have to work 2-3 hours to earn that money) that I forgot to realise how nervous he was... and showing it If I was tutoring a primary school child, then I can't guarantee I'll do better than him. I think he tried his best.

I read your small printed message~ I'm trying couple of more tutors today but if that doesn't work out, YOU KNOW I'm going to turn to you 

This is kinda random but: what's the meaning of your username, bangli_lok? I was curious for a while.. but you don't have tell me if it holds  private, personal meaning to you. I value privacy 

@Coffee Thanks for helping me consider the tutor's perspective. Perhaps I need to grow up a little more 

Thanks everyone for answering back!

[heids]

Note that of course if he keeps ON being shy, then he won't be a great tutor no matter how well-intentioned or knowledgeable.

I read your small printed message~

I was jokin' anyways but feel free

This is kinda random but: what's the meaning of your username, bangli_lok? I was curious for a while.. but you don't have tell me if it holds  private, personal meaning to you. I value privacy 

Nothing private - it just means (I hope ) 'Bengali person' in the language Bengali.  It's the product of joining up to a site while you're doing something else and you just plump on something, anything.  I'm not even Bengali. !?!

[anna.xo]

Give him another lesson.

This might give you some perspective.  I'll assume he's like me (unlikely, but ah well).  Starting tutoring recently, I hit the sharpest learning curve on earth.  I suddenly landed 3 students in a row - I was tutoring them three days in a row, giving lessons to three new students all at once when I'd never even tutored before.  I'm personally very shy, not confident in my own skills, and struggle when I'm put on the spot.  So, while I can easily appear 'friendly, enthusiastic and capable' online, in person I can suddenly look incompetent, until I become confident.  I shivered out of my first session clutching $25, utterly stunned - like, what did I even do to earn that money!?

So, while I had all the care, enthusiasm, (hopefully) friendliness, eagerness to help, and willingness to stick round for more than the hour, I felt like I wasted their hour and their money.  I was shy, apologetic and indecisive; I couldn't explain a really basic concept I knew well, I just got that rising panic you get in the middle of a tricky exam; I got lost halfway through the lesson with no clue where to head next.  And the student was equally shy, apologetic and indecisive.

I'm learning, though.  You know how nurses learn to give injections to oranges before humans?  Oh to be able to hire dummy students so I don't make a mess on the real thing.

Morals:
> The first lesson is always the most awkward; you have to approach different students in totally different ways, and second lesson you're prepared a bit more for what that student needs.
>  If he's a new tutor, he'll probably change and learn extremely fast.  Give him leeway.  If he's been tutoring for ages, chances are he's not likely to improve much.
> He may be friendly, enthusiastic, caring and capable - just shy and nervous at first.  That's not good, but it doesn't mean he's hopelessly incompetent or doesn't care about helping you.  Do you know exactly what you want from the lesson?  Taking the lead for 5-10min might help him settle in and take over.  Not that it's your job to help your tutor LOL.
> Tell him how you feel (gently)!  Honestly, as long as you don't say 'you're hopeless and I just wasted my money', I'd LOVE to hear what my students want from the lesson and how they think I should improve.


Well, maybe he just isn't caring or learning, in which case, dump him.


P.S. Feel free to pay me to mark your essays online jks jks

Can confirm this. Tutoring was the steepest learning curve of my life as well..I still remember, I was such a nervous wreck in my first lesson that I actually taught my student a concept wrong ><

Anyway, moral of the story; don't be too quick to judge and give him another chance. Everyone deserves a second chance but not for the same mistake --> apply this to your tutor selection and you should be okay

[tange]

I hope you have sorted everything out by now. I'm also an introverted/ shy person but finally after five years of tutoring, I'm able to hide this side when I meet a new student (who is often quiet and unsure). Confidence usually comes with experience so I suggest that you give him another opportunity to prove himself and hopefully he will open up over time. I started to wear a watch recently instead of relying on my phone or laptop to check the time. I find myself going over 15-20 minutes almost every lesson and the next student has to wait for me. However, the fact that I'm checking my phone every 15- 20 minutes to ensure that I'm keeping track of time probably makes me appear like I want the lesson to be over (not my intention at all). Of course I'm happy to go over for 5/10 minutes but it is unfair for the next student if they have to wait for an extra 20 minutes just for me to finish up.

If you are trying to find someone to mark your essay, you can find tutors who are willing to mark them online for you without meeting up. Personally, I think it is a waste of time to spend the whole lesson marking an essay. The tutor should be willing to mark your essay outside of class and then briefly go over the main points in the following lesson or email you the feedback/correction during the week. I never charge my students for essay correction outside of lesson times but some tutors might charge a fee.

If you want more structured lessons, you can ask your tutor to create a schedule for you that outlines the topic/ focus of each lesson. For example, I would let student know in advance what we will be working on for the following six weeks (e.g. text analysis, essay introductions, symbols etc) but I'm also happy to alter plans if something comes up and they want to work on something else. Although it really isn't your responsibility to help the tutor to do his work, you can still try to take a proactive approach by telling him what particular skill or topic your want to work on. Tutors are there to guide you while much of the learning is up to you.

[brenden]

I think there's a huge benefit to face to face English tutoring if you've got a tutor that can communicate it effectively. There's definitely a place for online essay marking, but I think if you get a tutor who's inclined to explain to you the theory behind good essay writing, then having that person gesticulate wildly at you might do you a lot of good.