Let me lend a hand 
Yo! I'd say that's fair, but I think focusing on principal beliefs will benefit you greatly. I structured all my essays around them. Give this a read to see what I mean! By all means reference others, but they tend to stem from the principal beliefs anyway so I'd be focusing on them 
Hey! This is basically asking you to (briefly) explain how Australia's religious patterns have changed, and why. Some things worth including:
- The increase in No Religion responses to the Census. Why is this happening?
- Which Christian denominations are getting smaller? Bigger? Why?
- What about other faiths? Going up/down? What key events caused these?
Including specific statistics would be excellent if you can
it's an outline question so a brief paragraph would be enough (in an exam at least) 
Thanks Jamon

Hi I just answered the 2017 Section 2 15 marker question in regards to Judaism. Would you be able to proofread it as the sample answers on the Bostes site aren't in reference to my significant person and practice (Marriage and Moses Maimonides) Thanks

Sure thing!
(a) (i) Briefly outline ONE significant practice within Judaism from the following. (2 marks)
• Death and mourning
• Marriage
• Synagogue services
Marriage is the unifying bond between 2 Jewish adherents, an importance practice as before marriage, Jewish adherents are seen to be unfulfilled in life without a partner. Orthodox and Progressive Jews view the act of marriage differently, with each denomination becoming more lenient in regard to the rules surrounding marriage respectively.
I would probably give you 2 out of 2 here but what you have said can be expressed with more clarity. This is what I would write: Marriage is a significant practice within Judaism which is viewed as the ideal state of existence. It is considered across all variants to be a Mitzvot and therefore an obligatory practice amongst all Jewish people. Although the significance of marriage is the same, its expression within variants differs. (ii) What is the significance for the Jewish community of the practice outlined in part (a) (i)? (5 marks)
For Jewish adherents, marriage is more than just a legal bond; it is a blessed unification that fulfils the commandments set by G-d. This is conveyed in the 613 Mitzvots, whereas it states "take a wife by Kiddushin," indicating the importance of marriage for both the individual and community as this unification fulfils a commandments set by G-d, expressing the faith those wed have in G-d.
Link to the community is not particularly strong - focus more on the fulfilling of the mitzvot of marriage as a reminder to the community of God's plan for them to be faithful Jewish adherents.For the individual, this bond signifies the beginning of a new family, which has the capacity to lead to procreation as it is taught in Genesis 1:28 "be fruitful and multiply." This sexual act is also significant within the community as it is by G-d's will that every family is to be fruitful, as it will expand the Jewish community and increase the number of Jewish adherents.
Good link but also point out how procreation strengthens the community as the new born children will grow up celebrating and contributing to the Jewish faith. For Orthodox Judaism, this unity in marriage is a significant part of both the individual's and communities' way of life. However, Orthodox Judaism is much stricter on the rules surrounding who can marry who. It is found in the Torah that mixed religion families are forbidden, with Orthodox Jews upholding this teaching, meaning that marriage between two Jewish adherents holds high significance in this denomination's community as it abides G-d's law.
Not a very strong link to the question. However, Progressive Jews are much more lenient with these rules, abiding more by their conscious to dictate who they believe should be wed. This holds significance in their community and for the individual as it allows the individual to marry whomever they want and continue to expand the Jewish community through this unity. Jewish adherents become 'one flesh' through marriage, both physically and spiritually.
I would probably give you 3/5 for this. The information is great but it is not very closely related to the true significance to the community. I would look at the community's involvement in the marriage itself, for instance in The Reception the guests are called to honour the bride and groom by visiting them and blessing them and their families by serving cake and drinks. During the ceremony itself (the Kiddushin) the community is also involved as, for example, the honour of the reading of the Seven Blessings is often distributed among guests. Later in the Nissuin, the Sedudat Mitzvah is held, which is a festive meal which is a symbol of the role of the support of friends and family in the marriage. I also personally discussed how in the Progressive strand, women are more actively involved in the ceremony reflecting contemporary concerns of gender equality and thus engaging with key issues in the community. (b) I command you today, to love the Lord your God, and to walk in His ways. Deuteronomy 19:9 Torah
How has ONE significant person or school of thought, other than Abraham or Moses, encouraged adherents to follow the command ‘to love the Lord your God, and to walk in His ways’? (8 marks)
Moses "Rambam" Maimonides was a Jewish scholar who had a major impact upon the Jewish faith that it even instigated the saying "From Moshe to Moshe, there arose none like Moshe," comparing the Prophet Moses to Moses Maimonides, a major honour in the Jewish faith. Thus, Rambam guided adherents with his scripture commentary, allowing Jewish adherents to follow the command 'to love the Lord your God, and to walk his way.'
Nice information but it does not contribute to your argument. You slapped the quote on the end and justified it by saying essentially that MM is very well known.
True - yet you should be mentioning in here the texts he used to contribute to the Jewish faith.The ease of access to the Jewish teachings is a major contribution of Rambam.
Refer to him as Maimonides. Rambam did this through writing the Commentary on Mishnah and the Mishneh Torah. The Commentary on the Mishnah explained the link between learning Torah and putting it into practice. Within this Commentary Maimonides formulated the thirteen principles of faith which is recognised as a creed for Judaism. The Mishneh Torah contained the Book of Knowledge, concerning belief in God, idolatry, repentance and the study of Torah. Other 13 books detail Jewish ritual and civil laws e.g. blessings, circumcision, holy days, relationships, dietary laws and ethics. He also wrote the Guide of the Perplexed, a philosophical work attempting to reconcile the Jewish concept of God with the Aristotelian view of God. Furthermore, Maimonides compiled the 613 mitvutz into the Book of Commandments in order to make it easier for Jewish adherents to properly comprehend these rules that dictated their spiritual lives. Therefore, encouraging adherents to get closer to G-d by strengthening their faith.
Discussing all three texts in the one paragraph is confusing to follow.
It also discounts how each text had a different purpose and impact.Maimonides' philosophical exploration of the faith and interpretation regarding a wide range of sources allowed for the development and overall survival of a religion which was under threat during his lifetime. Both Liberal and Reform Jews have a high regard for the philosophical works of Maimonides, his Commentary on the Mishnah making Jewish law easily accessible without large amounts of study of Talmud. This allowed the ease to follow the command 'to love the Lord your God, and to walk his way,' establishing a greater link between G-d and the Jewish adherents from past generations until now. His writings are still referenced due to their ease of understanding for all adherents and even Rabbi's hold his commentary in extremely high regard.
This is all relevant information here but I think firstly structure is off and secondly some quotes from the texts would back up what you are saying to give your response sophistication.Moses Maimonides established the ease of access between the adherents and scriptures such as the Talmud. This entices Jewish adherents to properly follow their faith and be able to follow the important command 'to love the Lord your God, and to walk his way.'
Good ideas but not put in a strong way.If I am being harsh, I would give you a 5/8 here. A lot of what you are saying is 100% correct!
But you really should have separate paragraphs on each of MM 3 texts as they each had different purposes and influences and at times your response gets repetitive. Some textual references from Maimonides' texts would also add to your argument - eg.
• “Every person among Israel is obligated to learn the Torah… to fix a time for Torah study.” (Mishnah Torah 1:8:9)
• “In plain language”… “so that thus the entire Oral Law might become systematically known to all” … accessible to young and old.” (Maimonide’s introduction to the Mishneh Torah)
So my main feedback is to do 3 body paragraphs dealing with the complexities of each text in isolation but connecting them by how they as a whole contributed to making Judaism more relevant and comprehensible as you said. Discuss the threat of Aristotelian philosophy for GFTP. Look at how the persecution and diaspora of the Jews following Almohades invasion called for MM to write the MT to allow the Jews to maintain their faith despite limited time and opportunities to do so.
Do things like that and you are looking at a 7-8/8 