Free AOS essay Marking!

[sudodds]

Awesome! Thanks so much Elyse! I definitely understand what you're saying, I'll make sure to fix up my response with your suggestions! You and jamon really are a machine hahaha, I cannot thank either of you enough for the help that you have given me over the last month with my creative and essays My teacher has said that she can already see a vast improvement in my drafts and it pretty much all down to your feedback! Thank you!!! 

[elysepopplewell]

Awesome! Thanks so much Elyse! I definitely understand what you're saying, I'll make sure to fix up my response with your suggestions! You and jamon really are a machine hahaha, I cannot thank either of you enough for the help that you have given me over the last month with my creative and essays My teacher has said that she can already see a vast improvement in my drafts and it pretty much all down to your feedback! Thank you!!! 

Ahh! That's what we love to hear. Thank you for being so dedicated to your work! You deserve awesome marks. Drop back by any time, of course!

[senara]

Hi Can you please look at my essay for Area of Study. I'm really stuck.

The essay is generic so statements are abit broad so I can mould it into different questions

Thanks a million 

[Bparker]

Hi Elyse, I have my textual evidence and some broad concepts about discovery, but I was wondering if you could just see if this thesis makes sense? I think i'm going slightly crazy from too much english, and just need a new perspective haha! P.S I'm doing The Motorcycle Diaries and The Apology
Thesis: The dynamic nature of discovery means it is largely an ongoing process of suppositions seeking validation.

[elysepopplewell]

Hi Can you please look at my essay for Area of Study. I'm really stuck.

The essay is generic so statements are abit broad so I can mould it into different questions

Thanks a million

Hey there! I'd love to help you out here, but we do have a 15 post requirement in order to qualify for a marked piece. You can read more about this in the link in my signature at the end of this message. Feel free to post questions, answer questions, or join in the conversation at the General Discussion page

[jamonwindeyer]

Hi Elyse, I have my textual evidence and some broad concepts about discovery, but I was wondering if you could just see if this thesis makes sense? I think i'm going slightly crazy from too much english, and just need a new perspective haha! P.S I'm doing The Motorcycle Diaries and The Apology
Thesis: The dynamic nature of discovery means it is largely an ongoing process of suppositions seeking validation.

Hey Bparker! Welcome to the forums! Be sure to let me know if you need help finding anything 

I would say that Thesis does make sense! It is saying discoveries are about asking questions/making hypothesis and having them validated. That's great! I would say it could be a tad too simple, it will definitely need an amplification where you build on the idea and delve into it a bit more (EG - challenges of making those suppositions for the individual, why discovery is dynamic, etc). It just needs a tad more depth to really make it shine, but this works really well as a generic Thesis to pull out and tailor to some specific question 

[Bparker]

Hey Bparker! Welcome to the forums! Be sure to let me know if you need help finding anything 

I would say that Thesis does make sense! It is saying discoveries are about asking questions/making hypothesis and having them validated. That's great! I would say it could be a tad too simple, it will definitely need an amplification where you build on the idea and delve into it a bit more (EG - challenges of making those suppositions for the individual, why discovery is dynamic, etc). It just needs a tad more depth to really make it shine, but this works really well as a generic Thesis to pull out and tailor to some specific question 

Okay great generic was what I was aiming for, thanks heaps Jamon!

[elysepopplewell]

Hi Elyse, I have my textual evidence and some broad concepts about discovery, but I was wondering if you could just see if this thesis makes sense? I think i'm going slightly crazy from too much english, and just need a new perspective haha! P.S I'm doing The Motorcycle Diaries and The Apology
Thesis: The dynamic nature of discovery means it is largely an ongoing process of suppositions seeking validation.

This is a really unique thesis because it makes the discovery focused on beliefs being challenged or validated. As long as this is a common thing that flows through your prescribed and related text, there's no problem. But, you need to be prepared to make a complimentary thesis statement on the spot in an exam. I used this technique. My introduction opened with two thesis statements that complimented each other - one was my prepared thesis (like you have) and the second one was a direct response to the question. The wording of my prepared thesis changed to adapt to the question more.

I think your thesis is limited in the expression. Currently, you're implying that discovery is mainly about beliefs being challenged. If this is the only main idea you want to flesh out in your response, then that's fine. But if you want to give yourself more scope, you might have to adjust the expression to incorporate the effects of these suppositions being validated, or how that impacts on people's relationships, or how it offers renewed perspectives, etc, etc. If you're comfortable with your supporting thesis to do this work for you, then that's cool too. But if I were you, I'd be teasing out the expression of that sentence a bit more to encourage that wider scope for the different stages and elements of discovery.

[Bparker]

This is a really unique thesis because it makes the discovery focused on beliefs being challenged or validated. As long as this is a common thing that flows through your prescribed and related text, there's no problem. But, you need to be prepared to make a complimentary thesis statement on the spot in an exam. I used this technique. My introduction opened with two thesis statements that complimented each other - one was my prepared thesis (like you have) and the second one was a direct response to the question. The wording of my prepared thesis changed to adapt to the question more.

I think your thesis is limited in the expression. Currently, you're implying that discovery is mainly about beliefs being challenged. If this is the only main idea you want to flesh out in your response, then that's fine. But if you want to give yourself more scope, you might have to adjust the expression to incorporate the effects of these suppositions being validated, or how that impacts on people's relationships, or how it offers renewed perspectives, etc, etc. If you're comfortable with your supporting thesis to do this work for you, then that's cool too. But if I were you, I'd be teasing out the expression of that sentence a bit more to encourage that wider scope for the different stages and elements of discovery.

Thankyou for the speedy and detailed response! I think i'll take your advice and add something about the impact of discovery onto the end of my thesis, as I do explore that in my essay too.

[elysepopplewell]

Thankyou for the speedy and detailed response! I think i'll take your advice and add something about the impact of discovery onto the end of my thesis, as I do explore that in my essay too.

For sure! It's better to give yourself that bit of extra scope that wows a marker in the beginning, because you're showing that you have confidence with an extra part of the rubric!

[hannahboardman98]

Hi, how many related texts do we need for AOS Standard English?? I thought it was one but recently I've been reading two!??

[studybuddy7777]

Hi, how many related texts do we need for AOS Standard English?? I thought it was one but recently I've been reading two!??

Hey hannahboardman98 welcome to atarnotes!! The AoS is a common paper between standard and advanced. I have ever only done 1 related text for English and most people have they have been fine!! The only reason some people study two is because ONCE they asked for two related texts. (But in that case, I would just pick one of the unseen texts) but you definitely can get by quite okay with one related text its what i have been doing. 

To use Jake's words (forum legend )

"Obviously I can't speak for people during the Trial, but I would strongly recommend NEVER doing more than is required of you in a question. You WON'T get any more marks for using 174 related texts"

Hope all this helps and hope you get a lot out of atarnotes!!
Thanks

[jamonwindeyer]

Hey hannahboardman98 welcome to atarnotes!! The AoS is a common paper between standard and advanced. I have ever only done 1 related text for English and most people have they have been fine!! The only reason some people study two is because ONCE they asked for two related texts. (But in that case, I would just pick one of the unseen texts) but you definitely can get by quite okay with one related text its what i have been doing. 

To use Jake's words (forum legend )
Hope all this helps and hope you get a lot out of atarnotes!!
Thanks

Love your work study buddy! I'll expand by saying that using one of the unseen texts is a very good idea in AoS (in case of emergency). Use the techniques you found in Section 1 and put them straight into Section 3, it works really well (this also requires doing Section 1 first) 

Hannah's been around for a while!! She was one of the first to hang around the Standard English Threads (Hannah is my hero) 

[studybuddy7777]

Love your work study buddy! I'll expand by saying that using one of the unseen texts is a very good idea in AoS (in case of emergency). Use the techniques you found in Section 1 and put them straight into Section 3, it works really well (this also requires doing Section 1 first) 

Hannah's been around for a while!! She was one of the first to hang around the Standard English Threads (Hannah is my hero) 

Thanks and oops sorry hannah i just like saying welcome to everyone that I meet because im new here and dont know many people!!

[isaacdelatorre]

Hey guys,

Can someone please direct me to where the feedback for my essay is. I can't seem to find it.
I posted it a while ago, it's on page 9.
Did I skip a page or overlook it somewhere?
Or is trials making me go crazy and see things hahaha

Thanks