HSC Stuff > Marking Thread Archives
Modern History Essay Marking
sudodds:
--- Quote from: dancing phalanges on July 23, 2017, 07:32:48 pm ---Sweet as! Thanks :)
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hey! I tried opening the dropbox link, however apparently the "folder does not exist?" - almost definitely a case of me not knowing how to use dropbox, but do you think you might be able to send the file to me another way? If it's a case of the document being too big, you can find PDF compressors online for free :)
dancing phalanges:
--- Quote from: sudodds on July 24, 2017, 11:02:17 am ---hey! I tried opening the dropbox link, however apparently the "folder does not exist?" - almost definitely a case of me not knowing how to use dropbox, but do you think you might be able to send the file to me another way? If it's a case of the document being too big, you can find PDF compressors online for free :)
--- End quote ---
It still doesn't work after compressing? Do you have an email I can send it to you through at all? :)
sudodds:
--- Quote from: dancing phalanges on July 24, 2017, 11:39:47 am ---It still doesn't work after compressing? Do you have an email I can send it to you through at all? :)
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Would it be possible to upload it to a google drive, then send me the link?
dancing phalanges:
--- Quote from: sudodds on July 24, 2017, 11:42:20 am ---Would it be possible to upload it to a google drive, then send me the link?
--- End quote ---
https://onedrive.live.com/edit.aspx?cid=24ddc0d7a25db4fc&page=view&resid=24DDC0D7A25DB4FC!2798&parId=24DDC0D7A25DB4FC!273&app=Word
copy all of the link, dont know why it cut off
hopefully this works aha
sudodds:
--- Quote from: dancing phalanges on July 23, 2017, 10:48:32 am ---Hi Susie,
Just wondering if you can take a look at my source analysis, especially on making it more succinct and making a stronger argument I guess.
I've attached the 2012 HSC and I'm sure you know where to find the sources that are copyrighted ;)
https://www.boardofstudies.nsw.edu.au/hsc_exams/hsc2012exams/pdf_doc/2012-hsc-exam-modern-history.pdf
Thanks!
https://www.dropbox.com/preview/SOURCE%20ANALYSIS%202012.docx?role=personal
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Okay!! Sorry this took so long to sort out, but here is my feedback :D
Question 2
This is a full mark response, no doubt about that - however you don't need to write this much for it to be a full mark response :) You've most likely spent a bit too long on this question, you could cut out that whole last sentence and I still would have given you 2 marks.
Question 7
- Fairly minor point, but I suggest underlining every time you use the source. Make it as easy for the markers to see your source integration as possible.
- "in saying that" - a bit too colloquial, and looks like you're sitting on the fence. Would prefer - "Despite this..." or "In contrast to..."
- Might sound like weird advice, but I think you potentially integrate the source TOO much. Don't get me wrong - integrating the source is super important! However remember that this question isn't a source analysis - you don't need to analyse source A and C for their usefulness, you just need to use its content to answer the question.
Overall though a great attempt :) I'd give this probably a 6/8, as I think more of your own detail is required.
Question 8 - Source Analysis
- FIRST SENTENCE MUST BE A JUDGEMENT. It must be - you'll lose marks if it isn't. So, "Source A would be (highly/partially) useful to a historian studying recruitment and propaganda in Britain and Germany, as it (explain your judgement)." It's really important that you have a sentence like this, before delving into the content/source type.
- Underline the words "perspective" and "reliability", every time that you use them. Again, just making sure that the marker 100% can see that you're addressing the question.
- Couldn't it be said that the absence of a mention of conscription in regards to the German perspective actually makes the source useful? As it would highlight to a historian that it was not as great of a concern than in Britain due to conscription? Though I personally, outside of source analysis structure, agree with your assessment, the constant back and forth between "useful" and "useless" makes it look as though you are sitting on the fence. I think it'd be better to try and argue that it is "overall" something and mention the limitations.
- Really really strong analysis here. But I want a bit more of a consistent judgement, and that will come from it being at the beginning of your response. At the moment, as I said before, it looks like you're sitting on the fence. What I think you should make your judgement be is "Source A would be partially useful to a historian studying recruitment and propaganda in Britain and Germany, as though it provides a detailed analysis of the role of recruitment, the sources discussion upon the role of propaganda is limited". That is what you're arguing (though I think you need to simplify and try your best to assert that the second perspective is useful for recruitment), but by making this your judgement, it'll look less like you're sitting on the fence.
- You have a judgement for Source D :) Fantastic, but why not Source A?
- Not sure about your first point - 1917 was still pretty far into the war, so I don't think it's usefulness is that limited in this regard.
- Great discussion of how the source is still reliable as evidence of attitudes, despite some factual inconsistencies.
- I think you are perhaps a bit too harsh on sources haha. Not many sources will be able to cover all aspects of the content, however I don't think that is necessarily means a source is of limited usefulness. If the source is focusing on women in the red cross, I don't think that the source is "limited" because it doesn't discuss other occupations. I'd say that the source is still useful, however other sources must be used in conjunction with this source in order to provide a more complete picture :) However, that being said, I LOVE how in depth you are going, I am splitting straws a bit here.
Overall, I'd probably give you an 8/10 :) This was a really good response, and your analysis was great, however you potentially go a bit too far, and sometimes your judgements got a bit confusing because of it. Rather than attempting to dissect every last minute detail of the source, just focus on the bigger picture :)
Great work dancing phalanges! These responses were awesome (I'm quite a hard marker btw, just because I know that in the HSC they can be brutal). Sorry again that it took so long!
Susie
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