HSC Stuff > Marking Thread Archives
Modern History Essay Marking
dancing phalanges:
--- Quote from: sudodds on July 25, 2017, 05:31:31 pm ---Okay!! Sorry this took so long to sort out, but here is my feedback :D
Question 2
This is a full mark response, no doubt about that - however you don't need to write this much for it to be a full mark response :) You've most likely spent a bit too long on this question, you could cut out that whole last sentence and I still would have given you 2 marks.
Question 7
- Fairly minor point, but I suggest underlining every time you use the source. Make it as easy for the markers to see your source integration as possible.
- "in saying that" - a bit too colloquial, and looks like you're sitting on the fence. Would prefer - "Despite this..." or "In contrast to..."
- Might sound like weird advice, but I think you potentially integrate the source TOO much. Don't get me wrong - integrating the source is super important! However remember that this question isn't a source analysis - you don't need to analyse source A and C for their usefulness, you just need to use its content to answer the question.
Overall though a great attempt :) I'd give this probably a 6/8, as I think more of your own detail is required.
Question 8 - Source Analysis
- FIRST SENTENCE MUST BE A JUDGEMENT. It must be - you'll lose marks if it isn't. So, "Source A would be (highly/partially) useful to a historian studying recruitment and propaganda in Britain and Germany, as it (explain your judgement)." It's really important that you have a sentence like this, before delving into the content/source type.
- Underline the words "perspective" and "reliability", every time that you use them. Again, just making sure that the marker 100% can see that you're addressing the question.
- Couldn't it be said that the absence of a mention of conscription in regards to the German perspective actually makes the source useful? As it would highlight to a historian that it was not as great of a concern than in Britain due to conscription? Though I personally, outside of source analysis structure, agree with your assessment, the constant back and forth between "useful" and "useless" makes it look as though you are sitting on the fence. I think it'd be better to try and argue that it is "overall" something and mention the limitations.
- Really really strong analysis here. But I want a bit more of a consistent judgement, and that will come from it being at the beginning of your response. At the moment, as I said before, it looks like you're sitting on the fence. What I think you should make your judgement be is "Source A would be partially useful to a historian studying recruitment and propaganda in Britain and Germany, as though it provides a detailed analysis of the role of recruitment, the sources discussion upon the role of propaganda is limited". That is what you're arguing (though I think you need to simplify and try your best to assert that the second perspective is useful for recruitment), but by making this your judgement, it'll look less like you're sitting on the fence.
- You have a judgement for Source D :) Fantastic, but why not Source A?
- Not sure about your first point - 1917 was still pretty far into the war, so I don't think it's usefulness is that limited in this regard.
- Great discussion of how the source is still reliable as evidence of attitudes, despite some factual inconsistencies.
- I think you are perhaps a bit too harsh on sources haha. Not many sources will be able to cover all aspects of the content, however I don't think that is necessarily means a source is of limited usefulness. If the source is focusing on women in the red cross, I don't think that the source is "limited" because it doesn't discuss other occupations. I'd say that the source is still useful, however other sources must be used in conjunction with this source in order to provide a more complete picture :) However, that being said, I LOVE how in depth you are going, I am splitting straws a bit here.
Overall, I'd probably give you an 8/10 :) This was a really good response, and your analysis was great, however you potentially go a bit too far, and sometimes your judgements got a bit confusing because of it. Rather than attempting to dissect every last minute detail of the source, just focus on the bigger picture :)
Great work dancing phalanges! These responses were awesome (I'm quite a hard marker btw, just because I know that in the HSC they can be brutal). Sorry again that it took so long!
Susie
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Hey yeah sorry I always do a judgement at the start I was just basing it off an example source analysis I saw which started with the origins of the source. other than that i 100% agree i need to argue more than sit on the fence, definitely agree. and in terms of being not as reliable because it doesnt give a full view haha i think i did that because my brother did that on all his exams but i understand if thats too harsh. and also thanks for the feedback r.e using your own knowledge more, i understand the need for balance more now thanks for the feedback much appreciated! :)
sudodds:
--- Quote from: dancing phalanges on July 25, 2017, 06:07:15 pm ---Hey yeah sorry I always do a judgement at the start I was just basing it off an example source analysis I saw which started with the origins of the source. other than that i 100% agree i need to argue more than sit on the fence, definitely agree. and in terms of being not as reliable because it doesnt give a full view haha i think i did that because my brother did that on all his exams but i understand if thats too harsh. and also thanks for the feedback r.e using your own knowledge more, i understand the need for balance more now thanks for the feedback much appreciated! :)
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No worries! So glad you found it helpful :) Sounds like that example source analysis was using a structure like TOMCARUP or OMCAPUR (yuck :P). Very common in junior history, but I'd personally avoid it like the plague for HSC Modern ;)
dancing phalanges:
--- Quote from: sudodds on July 25, 2017, 08:00:31 pm ---No worries! So glad you found it helpful :) Sounds like that example source analysis was using a structure like TOMCARUP or OMCAPUR (yuck :P). Very common in junior history, but I'd personally avoid it like the plague for HSC Modern ;)
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Yep that was it haha! Luckily there are experts at ATAR Notes to help ;)
elysepopplewell:
Hey all, in 48 hours from now we will be locking these marking threads for the trial period. The two main reasons being, we want to be able to help lots of students in the time it takes to mark an essay/creative (usually 30-45 minutes at least) while lots of students need the help during trials, and also because feedback becomes less constructive with minimal time until the exam because we want to avoid panicking you with big changes, so the feedback isn't as worthwhile for you.
Not to fear - you still have 48 hours to post your work and we will get to marking them even after the threads are locked (if there's backlog).
We'll still be here to help you during the trials with all of our Q+A threads, downloadable notes, and so on. Thanks for understanding! We're still here to help on all of the boards that aren't marking threads! :)
dancing phalanges:
--- Quote from: elysepopplewell on July 26, 2017, 05:37:32 pm ---Hey all, in 48 hours from now we will be locking these marking threads for the trial period. The two main reasons being, we want to be able to help lots of students in the time it takes to mark an essay/creative (usually 30-45 minutes at least) while lots of students need the help during trials, and also because feedback becomes less constructive with minimal time until the exam because we want to avoid panicking you with big changes, so the feedback isn't as worthwhile for you.
Not to fear - you still have 48 hours to post your work and we will get to marking them even after the threads are locked (if there's backlog).
We'll still be here to help you during the trials with all of our Q+A threads, downloadable notes, and so on. Thanks for understanding! We're still here to help on all of the boards that aren't marking threads! :)
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Hey Elyse could you possibly look at my Extension English creative if I post it in the appropiate thread :)
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