HSC Stuff > Marking Thread Archives

Free Legal Essay Marking!

<< < (6/69) > >>

jamonwindeyer:

--- Quote from: Essej on May 24, 2016, 07:51:12 pm ---Thanks Jamon !

Unfortunately as I was working on the other parts of the assessment, I won't be able to resend you my edited draft! Apologies  :'(

However i've definitely improved my essay with your recommendations and completely forgot about adding judgement to my topic sentences and vomiting content when i fell into a writing lull, thanks for reminding me!

Haha i was given the support of marriage equality statistic by my teacher, and much to my surprise when i checked up on it it regarded the labor party! I guess to justify it I would say that over time government perception (in addition to societal) regarding marriage equality has changed, and of course even though labor aren't in power right now parliament is where the changes can best take effect.

I'm more than likely going to remove the de facto paragraph when writing the actual essay as a) it's not required in the question and b) my essay is way too long  :P .

But once again thanks heaps, hope to see you back on the forums soon!

--- End quote ---

No problem Essej! Happy to be of help  ;D

king_sanj:
Hey guys! Can I please get feedback for my family law essay?
Specific issues:
- I feel like my arguments are imbalanced or are not satisfactorily proved
- Are there enough LCMs?
Thanks so much

Evaluate the effectiveness of family law in responding to the changing values in the community
Family law is the body of law which governs specific areas such as children or property in relation to families. The main law governing this is the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth). Over the years, there has been significant law reform concerning family law, in the form of new precedents, amendments and Acts. Changing values in the community refer to the gradual shifts in morals and ethics held by wider society.  The will and views of the majority is necessary to be taken into account in the process of law reform. This reflection of changing values in by the law is necessary in a social democracy such as Australia. Two contemporary issues relating to family law which involve a degree of controversy and media attention are: the recognition of same-sex relationships as well as the care and protection of children.

A significant contemporary issue concerning family law is the rights and recognition of same-sex relationships. The substantial advancements in the wider community’s recognition of gay rights in the last few decades has coincided with reflective law reform which ultimately led to the amendments to the law concerning the recognition of same-sex relationships. In the case of Howard v Andrews (1996), an individual in a same-sex relationship was barred from being able to inherit, after his death, the property of his partner of 14 years. This led to the 1999 amendment to the Property (Relationships) Act 1984 (Cth) which gave same-sex civil couples the same rights as heterosexual de facto couples in regards to property. The law was further reformed in 2008, where 85 amendments were passed across multiple laws to erase disadvantages faced by same-sex couples compared to heterosexual de facto couples. However, in 2004, both houses of federal parliament passed an amendment to the Marriage Act 1961 (Cth), adding “marriage is between one man and one woman” in order to prevent same-sex couples from getting married since the specification had not been explicitly stated in the Act previously. In both 2005 and 2012, bills seeking to dissolve the 2004 amendment were voted down in both houses of parliament. A 2012, ABC News Article [“Lower House votes down same-sex marriage bill”], only 42 MPs were reported to have supported the private members bill  in 2012, whereas 98 MPs voted against it.  In contrast, according to an episode of “The Project”, in 2011, a Galaxy poll reported that 67% of Australians were in favour of same-sex marriage. Furthermore, support for marriage equality has statistically being growing. According to a Sydney Morning Herald article in 2014, by Lisa Cox, “Poll shows growing support for same-sex marriage”, a Crosby Textor poll found that 72% of Australians want same-sex marriage legalised”. This shows a lack of accurate representation of the public’s views in parliament. Therefore, family law has been very reflective of changing values to a large extent, concerning the rights and recognition same-sex relationships. However, its ability to accurately reflect changing community values is diminished by its failure to uphold the public majority’s support for same sex marriage.

The issue of the care and protection of children has attracted major reform to family law and related acts in the past few decades. Children are seen by the wider community to be vulnerable members of society, and hence, require greater levels of protection. Consequently, the law has also recognised this. At a state level, the Children and Young Persons (Care and Protection) Act 1998 (NSW) provides for mandatory reporting to Community Services NSW (CSN); formerly known as DoCS; in cases where a child is considered to be at risk of harm. This operates at a domestic level as well and is heavily linked to family law in epitomising the safety of children. However, despite this, many cases of child deaths continue to occur. According to the Sydney Morning Herald [“DOCS didn’t protect Kiesha”: Tim Barlass: 2013], in 2011, A 6 year old girl, Kiesha Abrahams was repeated abused and murdered while under the care of her mother and step-father. However, it is reported that there had been numerous reports to DoCS [currently called Community Services NSW [CSN]] about the concerning environment in which she lived: a mother who had previously abused her. This is despite, the law’s attempts to maximise the level of care and protection given to children. For example, courts are required to take into account, the best interests of the child while making decisions regarding families, such as divorce and custody. This ensures that children are adequately cared for. However, the NSW Ombudsman’s annual report of “reviewable deaths of children” in NSW every year reveals the children’s cases known to CSN, who have died as a result of abuse or neglect. In 2007, the figure stood at, no less than 150. Despite the significant efforts of family law and related legislation, the problem of instrumental departments such as DoCS being under-resourced allows for many children to be left in abusive environments, even facing death in some cases. This drastically reduces the law’s effectiveness in protecting children. Thus, in practice, although law reform seeks to reflect changing community values concerning the care and protection of children, it isn’t able to do so effectively.

The law has undergone tremendous reform over the past few decades in terms of families in order to correlate with the community’s changing values and perceptions. This is particularly true in terms of the recognition of same-sex relationships as well as the care and protection of children. In the area of same-sex relationships, discrimination is still yet to be effectively curbed and the need for marriage equality is yet to be served. In the issue of the care and protection of children, family law’s effectiveness is inhibited by under-resourced departments. Therefore, to a large extent, family law has been effective in reflecting changing values of the community. However, it is still yet to keep up with these changes in current times due to flaws either in representation of the public in the legislature or the ability of the legal system to cater for its purposes effectively.   

jamonwindeyer:

--- Quote from: king_sanj on May 25, 2016, 10:13:00 am ---Hey guys! Can I please get feedback for my family law essay?
Specific issues:
- I feel like my arguments are imbalanced or are not satisfactorily proved
- Are there enough LCMs?
Thanks so much

--- End quote ---

Hey king_sanj! Definitely, I've attached your essay with some comments throughout. To give you (and myself) an idea of how much LCMTR you are using (LCM, same thing), I'll highlight them red  ;D

SpoilerEvaluate the effectiveness of family law in responding to the changing values in the community.

Family law is the body of law which governs specific areas such as children or property in relation to families. The main law governing this is the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth). It is better to start your essay with an argument or position, you don't need facts like this, the marker knows this already! Over the years, there has been significant law reform concerning family law, in the form of new precedents, amendments and Acts. Changing values in the community refer to the gradual shifts in morals and ethics held by wider society.  Again, you don't need to define terms like this. The will and views of the majority is necessary to be taken into account in the process of law reform. I like this statement! Summarises the ideas behind the essay very succinctly. You could blend this with the following sentence to make it more succinct. This reflection of changing values in by the law is necessary in a social democracy such as Australia. Two contemporary issues relating to family law which involve a degree of controversy and media attention are: the recognition of same-sex relationships as well as the care and protection of children. What you are missing here is a judgement; how effective has law reform been in responding to this issue? If you don't make a judgement, you aren't answering the 'evaluate' aspect of the question.

A significant contemporary issue concerning family law is the rights and recognition of same-sex relationships. The substantial advancements in the wider community’s recognition of gay rights in the last few decades has coincided with reflective law reform which ultimately led to the amendments to the law concerning the recognition of same-sex relationships. How effective have they been?  In the case of Howard v Andrews (1996), an individual in a same-sex relationship was barred from being able to inherit, after his death, the property of his partner of 14 years. This led to the 1999 amendment to the Property (Relationships) Act 1984 (Cth) which gave same-sex civil couples the same rights as heterosexual de facto couples in regards to property. Great example! You now need to use it to say "law reform has thus been effective/ineffective in responding to changing societal attitudes towards homosexual relationships," for example. The law was further reformed in 2008, where 85 amendments were passed across multiple laws to erase disadvantages faced by same-sex couples compared to heterosexual de facto couples. Better to use the actual amendment act, but cool! However, in 2004, both houses of federal parliament passed an amendment to the Marriage Act 1961 (Cth), adding “marriage is between one man and one woman” in order to prevent same-sex couples from getting married since the specification had not been explicitly stated in the Act previously. These little extra tidbits of fact are good, but be careful to keep the focus on analysis and evaluation. These are good, but you don't need them. In both 2005 and 2012, bills seeking to dissolve the 2004 amendment were voted down in both houses of parliament. A 2012, ABC News Article [“Lower House votes down same-sex marriage bill”], only 42 MPs were reported to have supported the private members bill  in 2012, whereas 98 MPs voted against it. Good inclusion of media, but the wording there was a little sloppy.  In contrast, according to an episode of “The Project”, in 2011, a Galaxy poll reported that 67% of Australians were in favour of same-sex marriage. Furthermore, support for marriage equality has statistically being growing. According to a Sydney Morning Herald article in 2014, by Lisa Cox, “Poll shows growing support for same-sex marriage”, a Crosby Textor poll found that 72% of Australians want same-sex marriage legalised”. This shows a lack of accurate representation of the public’s views in parliament. Therefore, family law has been very reflective of changing values to a large extent, concerning the rights and recognition same-sex relationships. However, its ability to accurately reflect changing community values is diminished by its failure to uphold the public majority’s support for same sex marriage. These last two sentences are fantastic!! However, you can't just slap the judgement on the end, it must be threaded throughout the essay. If you had done this, your argument would have been proven extremely well. As it is, it isn't to that standard.

The issue of the care and protection of children has attracted major reform to family law and related acts in the past few decades. Children are seen by the wider community to be vulnerable members of society, and hence, require greater levels of protection. Consequently, the law has also recognised this. At a state level, the Children and Young Persons (Care and Protection) Act 1998 (NSW) provides for mandatory reporting to Community Services NSW (CSN); formerly known as DoCS; in cases where a child is considered to be at risk of harm. Isn't it Family and Community Services (FACS)? This operates at a domestic level as well and is heavily linked to family law in epitomising the safety of children. However, despite this, many cases of child deaths continue to occur. According to the Sydney Morning Herald [“DOCS didn’t protect Kiesha”: Tim Barlass: 2013], in 2011, A 6 year old girl, Kiesha Abrahams was repeated abused and murdered while under the care of her mother and step-father. You should try and use the R v Abrahams (2013) case reference in conjunction with the article!  However, it is reported that there had been numerous reports to DoCS [currently called Community Services NSW [CSN]] about the concerning environment in which she lived: a mother who had previously abused her. This is despite, the law’s attempts to maximise the level of care and protection given to children. For example, courts are required to take into account, the best interests of the child while making decisions regarding families, such as divorce and custody. This ensures that children are adequately cared for. However, the NSW Ombudsman’s annual report of “reviewable deaths of children” in NSW every year reveals the children’s cases known to CSN, who have died as a result of abuse or neglect. In 2007, the figure stood at, no less than 150. Despite the significant efforts of family law and related legislation, the problem of instrumental departments such as DoCS being under-resourced allows for many children to be left in abusive environments, even facing death in some cases. This drastically reduces the law’s effectiveness in protecting children. Thus, in practice, although law reform seeks to reflect changing community values concerning the care and protection of children, it isn’t able to do so effectively. Virtually identical comments to above, inclusion of cases, laws and media is awesome (though not as good as the first paragraph), but you aren't evaluating throughout. You must include a judgement at the beginning, prove it in the body, then re-state it at the end.

The law has undergone tremendous reform over the past few decades in terms of families in order to correlate with the community’s changing values and perceptions. This is particularly true in terms of the recognition of same-sex relationships as well as the care and protection of children. In the area of same-sex relationships, discrimination is still yet to be effectively curbed and the need for marriage equality is yet to be served. In the issue of the care and protection of children, family law’s effectiveness is inhibited by under-resourced departments. Therefore, to a large extent, family law has been effective in reflecting changing values of the community. However, it is still yet to keep up with these changes in current times due to flaws either in representation of the public in the legislature or the ability of the legal system to cater for its purposes effectively. Very effective conclusion, excellent!

To address your specific concerns first: Yes, there is definitely enough LCM's, and you've brought reports and statistics in as well. Golden. I'd love to see CROC make an appearance in that second paragraph!! But yes, you are fine in this area, the second paragraph could use some cases and laws if you can (visually, you can see it doesn't have as much as the first paragraph), but on the whole you are set.

The argument has an issue, but it is more structural. First, you must include a judgement in your Thesis, likely right near the end. Secondly, you must state the judgement (with respect to the area in that paragraph) of the law reform at the start of the paragraph. You then go on to prove that argument throughout the paragraph. You must be constantly evaluating and judging each new piece of information you give the reader. Every other sentence should say something like, "Thus, this shows effectiveness/ineffectiveness because ________." This ensures the argument flows through the essay and isn't just tacked on as an afterthought, which is what you have here.

Besides that, your evidence is spectacular, and your arguments are definitely there. You just need to actually say them explicitly. Sophistication is good, and although normally I'd recommend three body paragraphs instead of two I think what you have works quite well! On the whole, an excellent essay, brush up the evaluation aspect and you'll be on a winner. Great work!!  ;D ;D ;D

king_sanj:
Thanks so much for your time and effort Jamon! This feedback is super helpful  :D

Deng:
Hey, was wondering if one of you guys could read my draft before its due on Monday and see where i can improve on

Evaluate the effectiveness of the law in resolving conflict in family relationships

A family is defined as the fundamental group of society and is entitled to protection by society and the State” under the Family Law Act 1975(CTH)(FLA). The laws governing conflict within family relationships in Australia are relatively effective in terms of divorce and the legal consequences of separation. The law is seen to be effective in these areas due to its ability to meet society’s needs, be accessible, protecting rights and resource efficient. In contrast, the laws governing domestic violence are ineffective due to the lack of enforceability. 

Laws governing divorce in Australia reflect society’s needs with the introduction of the ‘no-fault’ concept under the FLA. The legal termination of marriage only requires parties to state that there is an irretrievable breakdown of marriage, removing the previous need for spousal blame under the Matrimonial Causes Act 1959 (CTH)(MCA). This law reform has proven to be effective as it improved the ease and accessibility of divorce, meaning couples were no longer trapped in unhappy or dangerous unions. It also meant custody arrangements were not affected on the grounds of one party being ‘at fault’. The effects of reform saw divorce rates in 1975    jump from 13,000 to 63,320 in 1976 .  The FLA also saw the creation of a “kiss and makeup” clause which allowed parties to reconcile without having to restart the 12 month waiting period before applying for a divorce. The clause advised couples to attend alternate dispute resolutions before attending court ensuring a better outcome for both parties and being more resource efficient. The reform of the MCA reflects the laws ability to meet society’s needs.

The FLA effectively protects the rights of children in family conflict by placing the best interest of the child first. The FLA(Sect 55A)(CTH) and the Family Law Amendment (Shared Parental Responsibility) Act 2006(CTH) reflects the FLA role through the creation of the Family Court. The Family Law Amendment (Shared Parental Responsibility) created the notion of shared parental responsibility which attempts to create meaningful relationships with both parents resolving conflicts surrounding children. Furthermore, the Court can issue parenting orders under the Family Law Reform Act 1995 (CTH) Section 60CA where the court must regard the best interests of the child as the paramount consideration . This is demonstrated in in Harris v Harris(2009), where the mother requested the children live with her due to school, but under shared parental responsibility, the court issued a parenting order where the children would spend half the time at their fathers’. This reflects the laws effectiveness in resolving conflict between families surrounding children. However, under the FLA SECT60CC  , the court has the ability to determine a child’s best interest where a meaningful relationship with both parents may not exist. This was demonstrated in Lewis v Wackett where the court did not make a parenting order of shared cared when one of the parents were seen as a risks to the child thus overriding the notion . Overall, the court’s ability to determine the best interest of the child depicts its effectiveness in resolving conflict.

The Family Court has jurisdiction over property decisions under S.79 and S.75(2) of the FLA. Property is a reference to the financial aspects of a relationship which is a common cause of conflict. At the time of divorce both parties are given 12 months to settle any financial matters before the court will impose a decision. If a couple manages to reach a decision, they can have it enforced by the Court as a Consent Order. This is effective as it is resource efficient as it does not require court intervention. However, if a couple fails to reach an agreement, the court will split all assets 50/50 before taking into prior commitments such as financial position prior to marriage and contributions during marriage and future needs. The court’s ability to settle conflict surrounding property is reflected in Morre v Moore(2008), where the husband alleged the wife had failed to put in commitment towards the family and marriage, being distracted by interests outside of the family resulting in a revision of the Consent Order. The court’s role in property disputes demonstrates its effectiveness through the enforceability of its decisions.

The Court is an expensive measure thus limiting its effectiveness. An SMH article, “Australia's most expensive divorce: Woman fights $10.5m legal bill”   demonstrates how expensive litigation is. The legal system has attempted to fix this through the creation of the Family Circuit Court and Family Relationship Centres. The FCC has the same jurisdiction as the Family Court but for lesser matters, whilst the FRC is a form of ADR. This is seen as an effective way the law has attempted to be resource efficient. The efficiency of the FRC is seen in SMH article “Savings in Family Law” shows that the FRC’s are resource efficient for every $1 is equal to $1.48 in court time as well as having more cooperation between parties. The law’s increase access for families to resolve conflict reflects its ability to meet society’s needs.

In the area of domestic violence, the law has seen a decrease in its effectiveness in resolving conflict. The creation of ADVO’s through the Crimes (Domestic Violence)Amendment Act (1982)(CTH) can be seen as an ineffective measure in resolving conflict. “Call for war on domestic violence as half of all AVO’s fail”  show that “in the year to last September courts issued 26,491 domestic AVOs. According to the NSW Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research figures, there were 11,788 or 44% breaches.” . The article also highlights the increasing level of domestic violence and the laws inability to resolve this as “At the end of the day an AVO is a piece of paper” . There has been attempts to protect society through the Crimes (Domestic and Personal Violence) Act 2007(CTH), where police are now able to take out an AVO, making the recriminations against police rather than the victim. However, the statistics above show that an AVOS lack enforceability and the deterrent itself do not deter recidivism. This was seen in the recent Leila Alavi case where she was murdered despite an ADVO on her husband. Thus, the lack of enforceability of ADVO’s demonstrates the laws ineffectiveness in resolving conflict surrounding domestic violence.

Australia’s laws can be seen as effective in resolving conflict in family relationships. However, due to the increasing number of domestic violence and the decreasing effectiveness of the legislation surrounding it, it limits the effectiveness. The law deals with divorce and the legal separation of marriage effectively and efficiently, however the price of litigation can deny some families access.

Thanks!

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page