VCE Stuff > AN’s Language Analysis Club
[LA Club] Week 19
heids:
If you put square brackets round an s that's the forum code to start a strikethrough, fixed it for you :)
Also, you're doing English, you're totally in a position to give feedback! :D
FallingStar:
--- Quote from: Evan C on July 21, 2016, 01:09:17 am ---So rather than bemoaning how much I suck at English, I thought I'd give this shot and maybe finally start that long journey towards becoming somewhat decent at this.
I feel like I went a little crazy here, but I've never had just one sentence to analyse so I didn't really know how to go about things.
Sonia Kruger attempt to disassociate herself from “racist(s)” in order to avoid attracting the reader’s disapproval, as individuals considered “racist” typically espouse prejudiced views which are commonly denounced in today’s society. The Immediately following endearing assertion by Kruger that she is “just a mum” establishes a stark juxtaposition which[color=red,[/color] when compounded with the connotations of the homespun variation of mother, “mum,” aim[coolor=red]s[/color] to engender reader’s sympathy for this “mum” who has no ulterior motives, and is simply concerned because she is a parent. This appears to jump around a lot, as in straight from the example to the effect, without explaining anything. See comment below Via this dichotomy, Kruger implies that her position can be justified as the current situation appears to contravene her interests as a parent, and thus ultimately her stance is simply preserving those fundamental tenets of parenthood??? which tenets? . This sounds like you are actually giving an opinion, which is not what you're meant to do. See comment below
Any feedback/comments are appreciated. I would've given the other person feedback but I'm really not in a position to do so.
--- End quote ---
You are still in a position to give other people feedback. In fact a particularly strong student here was a little concerned about giving feedback too, and the moderators relied that they would help you if you do it incorrectly. Plus, the feedback can be given anonymously if you don't feel comfortable posting it with your username.
I think you need to elaborate on the connotation of the word "mum." Perhaps you could mention concern for children, or a caring nature. Then, you talk about the implications of this connotation. For more information on this please see Guide to Connotative Analysis by Lauren. This should help because this sentence is all about the connotations of the words involved. Think what the connotations of the word "racist," "Mum." If you really want to take it further, you can analyse the first person pronoun and the word "just."
You last sentence appear to be giving an opinion, even though I can tell you don't mean to do that. Instead of:
Kruger implies that her position can be justified as the current situation appears to contravene her interests as a parent, and thus ultimately her stance is simply preserving those fundamental tenets of parenthood.
You could say:
Through presenting the current situation as contravening to her interests as a parent, Kruger implies that her position can be justified, thus ultimately suggesting that her stance is... (insert your words here).
What's the difference you may ask? Well the difference is that you used the word "is" which is very definitive of an opinion. Instead use words such as imply, suggest, hint, imply (see A Vocabulary Bank for LA for language analysis vocabulary).
Don't worry. You have time to work your way to be decent. And I also warn you: To stop telling yourself that you suck is easier said than done.
williamzhang600:
The headline presents a stark contrast of the words 'racist', a negatively connotative term, and 'mum'. This serves to emphasise the notion that Sonia Krugar is simply exhibiting a point of view which is in the best interests of her children, a highly laudable attribute in Australian society, and to steer the readership away from the opinion that she is a racist. Consequently, the audience is positioned to view her endorsement for a ban on Muslim immigration to be justified, as they may relate to the concern for the welfare of their children.
There is a subtly allusion to the iconic scene in The Elephant Man where the protagonist screams, 'I am not an animal, I am a human being', after being cornered by a mob. Therefore, there is an implication that Krugar is being unfairly subjected to the scathing criticism of the public, eliciting sympathy from the audience. As a result, the readers are more inclined to oppose the labeling of Krugar as a 'racist'.
I know I made a huge leap with the elephant man thing. Keep in mind i'm used to people telling me i'm wrong so don't hold back when giving feed back.
HopefulLawStudent:
Kruger’s blunt pronouncement she was “not a racist” dissociates her from the stereotypical “racist” who was irrational and unreasonably xenophobic. Her calm delivery of this assertion challenges whatever inclinations the reader may have harboured towards dismissing her comments as those of an intolerant “racist”. By dissociating herself from this label, Kruger intimates that her concerns are legitimate and that more needs to be done toward increasing national security. Kruger seeks to justify her public support for a ban on Muslim migration into Australia for the sake of national security by reasonably indicating that she was “just a mum”. In doing so, Kruger capitalises on public concern for the safety of themselves and their loved ones to directs her audience’s fear and anger following the French terror attacks to the scapegoat – Muslim migrants - thereby implying that allowing these individuals to Australia will pose a greater security risk to this nation. This generalisation compels the reader to prioritise their own welfare and the welfare of their families and embrace Kruger’s perception that Muslim migration directly threatens the security of Australia.
Anonymous:
Sonia Kruger's assertion that she is "not a racist" and "just a mum" suggests that she agrees with banning Muslim migration is for her family values but not from a racist position. The juxtaposition between “racist” describing an unreasonable prejudice and “mum” implies commitment of a mother. Her discard of being “racist” isolates her first expression as a racist that audience will think about. The word “just” hints that her purpose is no more no less as a parent who does her best to protect her child. This again emphasises she does not hate Muslim migration. The second phrase “a mum” explains her opposition to Muslim migration is for Australian children as a parent. These appeals to parental values of protection and devotion makes her becomes an affectionate mother. This Therefore, from audience’s perspective, her contention will be supported by parent audience who are in the same position as Sonia Kruger as they all care about their children most.
I have been avoid doing LA because English is not my strength. But I don't want to avoid it forever, I want to change and I hope I can do better. So, please help. This was my best effort.Thanks for your help.
:D :D :D
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