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Thesis Statement

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Nialllovespie:
Hiiiiiii,

I was wondering if you could please mark my thesis statement. I think it's a bit broad and perhaps too long but I just wanted another option on it as to what I could do to improve it. Thank you!! :)

The discoveries individuals make are often evoked by curiosity leading to a transformation of their perceptions of themselves and society. This transformation is normally attained after they surpass the ramifications of challenges and obstacles that fundamentally shape their perceptions.

jamonwindeyer:

--- Quote from: Nialllovespie on October 08, 2016, 10:18:36 pm ---Hiiiiiii,

I was wondering if you could please mark my thesis statement. I think it's a bit broad and perhaps too long but I just wanted another option on it as to what I could do to improve it. Thank you!! :)

The discoveries individuals make are often evoked by curiosity leading to a transformation of their perceptions of themselves and society. This transformation is normally attained after they surpass the ramifications of challenges and obstacles that fundamentally shape their perceptions.

--- End quote ---

Hey! Welcome to the forums!! Let me know if you need help finding anything ;D

The discoveries individuals make are often evoked by curiosity leading to a transformation of their perceptions of themselves and society. This transformation is normally attained after they surpass the ramifications of challenges and obstacles that fundamentally shape their perceptions.

I think this is good! I wouldn't say it is too broad, per say, but I would say it's perhaps covering a little too much at once. Curiosity, transformations, perceptions, challenges; it's quite a few things at once. I reckon you should hone in on just one or two of these things and go into some more detail, for example; Discoveries provide essential positive transformations when the relevant challenges can be overcome, or something. The point being, pick just a SUBSET of the ideas you've presented and hone in on it a little bit; give me a little depth! That will make it more sophisticated and interesting ;D

Nialllovespie:
Thank you so much for your help!! Greatly appreciated!! :D

anuu.j:
Heyy

Is there any way you could help me out with writing a thesis statement for my essays? I can always write the essay however when it comes to the Thesis points i am so blind with these things and go on a rant and don't stick to only one or two sentences.

jamonwindeyer:

--- Quote from: anuu.j on October 09, 2016, 01:47:28 pm ---Heyy

Is there any way you could help me out with writing a thesis statement for my essays? I can always write the essay however when it comes to the Thesis points i am so blind with these things and go on a rant and don't stick to only one or two sentences.

--- End quote ---

Hey annum.j! We'd love to help, why don't you upload what you have so far/an attempt at a Thesis in response to a question? :) we can provide some feedback! :)

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